chapter one

Guernsey – June 1940

‘I won’t go! I won’t!’

Tears streamed down Teresa’s face as she sat slumped in a chair, her hands twisted together, as if in supplication. His heart lurched, hating to see her like this. Before he could say anything she went on, ‘I can’t leave you here on your own, Leo. Anything might happen to you if…if the Germans do come.’

He fought to stay calm, not wanting his beloved wife to see how much it hurt him to let her go. But what choice did he have?

‘Darling, it’s precisely because the Germans are more or less expected to invade us, that you and the baby must go. I need to know you’re safe, and you will be with your parents in Suffolk. With a bit of luck, it won’t be for long, and we’ll all be together again.’ Leo bit his lip. The omens were not good for a swift end to hostilities, in spite of the early optimism displayed by the British politicians. And the news from the mainland received that morning, that Guernsey was to be demilitarised, meant all the islands were vulnerable to attack and invasion. The Germans were edging closer now, at Cherbourg…

‘But why don’t you come with us? You could leave Ernest in charge of the business and surely someone would keep a watch on the house?’ She raised her head, a sudden flicker of hope in her eyes.

He shook his head.

‘I can’t risk us losing everything. How would we live if that happened? There’s no opportunity to send the most valuable items to England and,’ he shrugged, ‘it doesn’t seem right to run away and leave other men to defend my birthright. I may be too old to go and fight, but at least I might be of some use here. Guernsey is my home. It’s in my blood, just as England is in yours.’

Leo pulled Teresa to her feet and held her tightly, letting her sob on his shoulder. His shirt was soon soaked, and he had a lump in his throat as he soothed her. After a few moments, he pushed her gently away. Red blotches marred his wife’s lovely cream complexion, and her eyes were swollen. He couldn’t remember ever seeing her cry like this.

Handing her his handkerchief, Leo smoothed her thick, wavy hair off her face and kissed her forehead. She sniffed, and her shoulders sagged. Defeated.

‘When…when does the evacuation start?’

He sucked in his breath. It was all too soon.

‘Tomorrow.’ Her eyes widened in horror, and he hastened to add, ‘But that’s when the ship arrives for the schoolchildren and teachers. Other ships will carry on departing until Saturday for anyone else, including mothers with babies and toddlers. I will arrange for you and Judith to be on one of them. You’ll only be able to take one case–’

Teresa pulled away and began pacing around the sitting room, touching the backs of chairs and stroking the bureau, her face turned away from him. He’d failed her, should have made better provision for her and their child. Leo thrust his hands in his pockets, cursing himself for leaving it so late. Once the Germans had invaded France, the Channel Islands looked vulnerable, lying as they did a few miles off the French coast. He should have shipped their valuables over to England as a precaution, only following themselves if it became necessary.

A cry from upstairs made Teresa stop, and she gazed upwards as if waiting to see if it would be prolonged. It was.

‘She’s hungry; I’ll go and fetch her–’

‘Let me go, and you can feed her in the kitchen while I make you a cup of tea.’

Leo caught the look of surprise on Teresa’s face before he left. He knew what she was thinking, ‘Why’s he offering to help when he’s never done it before?’ As he shot up the stairs, Judith’s cries growing more insistent, he was painfully aware of how little he’d been involved with his daughter, leaving her care to Teresa. That was, after all, the role of the mother. But now, the thought of her going to England within the next forty-eight hours and not seeing her for what might be years, made him want to make up for his lack.

Judith, a sturdy nine months old, was gripping the bars of her cot and she opened her mouth to release yet another heart-rending cry when she caught sight of her father and stopped. Leo smiled reassuringly, but she was about to cry out when he reached over and lifted her into his arms, kissing her wet cheek.

‘Hush, now, darling, Daddy’s taking you to Mummy for your feed. Won’t be long.’ Her mouth trembled, but she remained quiet as he hugged her close, taking his time on the stairs. Leo drew in the smell of her skin and the soft, fair hair. Like her mother’s. He had to push down the thought of saying goodbye to the child he never thought he’d have. A bachelor until his forties, he’d given up hope of being a father. And then Teresa entered his life…

‘Here she is, ready for her tea, aren’t you, Judith?’ He handed the baby to his wife, saying, ‘I’ll put the kettle on.’ Teresa settled Judith in her high chair, ready to spoon the rice into her daughter before she could start crying again.

Leo set the teapot, with matching milk jug and sugar bowl, on the table alongside two cups and saucers. A beautiful French porcelain, the set had been his maternal grandmother’s, and a family favourite. He glanced up to find Teresa’s gaze on him, her eyes puffy. She inclined her head as if acknowledging what he was about and he relaxed. For the moment they had to behave as if nothing had happened. That the family wasn’t about to be torn apart. He forced a smile as he poured the tea, determined to maintain a level of normality for as long as possible, for Judith’s sake, at least.