chapter six

 

Guernsey 1940

 

The night before Teresa and Judith were due to leave, Leo lay in bed with his arms wrapped around his wife’s sleeping body. He found it odd she could sleep peacefully at such a time, but was also glad of it. Her lovely blue eyes had lost their sparkle, and she was prone to bouts of crying when their child was asleep, only putting on a brave face when Judith was awake.

Watching Teresa pack for the two of them, choosing the largest suitcase they possessed, had hurt as much as a physical blow to his chest and Leo had been forced to leave their bedroom and escape to his study, saying he had letters to write. This had been true; he needed to get letters to his business associates and bankers in London before the Germans arrived and cut communications.

Leo thanked God his father had never been an ‘all his eggs in one basket’ businessman and had set up an account with a private London bank some years previously. Each quarter, any profits over and above any income required by the family, had been transferred to London, and would now provide a source of money for Teresa. Essential, as Leo had been horrified to learn evacuees were only allowed to withdraw £20 from the bank before leaving.

Her parents were well off, but his pride baulked at the idea of them supporting his family. Teresa was taking her jewellery, but he sincerely hoped she wouldn’t need to sell it. It had been such a pleasure to buy her the exquisite pieces to enhance her beauty. As he lay, wide awake, he recalled how happy he had been these past three years. But now, as he listened to Teresa’s even breathing, he was afraid their life together was over, that he might never again hear her laugh, see her smile or hold her tight.

 

The next morning dawned bright and clear, promising to be hot later. Leo was glad the journey to England would take place in fine weather but concerned the clear skies would make the boats vulnerable to attack from the air. Teresa clung to him on waking and, without a word spoken, they made love with more passion than usual. A cry from Judith next door broke them apart, and Teresa kissed him before sliding out of bed and reaching for her dressing gown.

Leo, with the scent of her skin in his nostrils, jumped out of bed and hugged her tight.

‘I shall miss you more than you can ever know, my darling. I…I don’t say much, I know, but you have brought me so much pleasure, so much love these past few years, I can’t thank you enough.’ He kissed the top of her tousled head, drawing in the smell of her hair, capturing it for future reference.

Teresa’s eyes were bright.

‘And I’ll miss you. You’ve made me very happy, Leo, and I’ll be counting the days until I can return.’ Judith’s cries grew louder, and with a quick moue, Teresa released herself from his grasp, calling, ‘Mummy’s coming, darling!’

 

Two hours later Leo parked the car at White Rock, and his small family joined the queue of the hundreds of men, women and children waiting to embark on the ship alongside. Glancing around, Leo saw a mixture of fear, anticipation and sorrow on the faces of his fellow islanders. Not many men appeared to be leaving; like him, they were sending their families away to safety. A few children jumped up and down in excitement at the prospect of going on a ship, but many clung to their mothers, as if afraid to let go. Women were embracing the men they were leaving behind, their faces damp with tears as they said their goodbyes. For some, it was too much to bear, and Leo watched as a woman with a babe in her arms left the queue, handing back their tickets to a waiting sailor, who nodded, silently. Although he hated the thought of his family leaving, Leo held his breath, praying Teresa wouldn’t copy her.

She must have read his mind as, squeezing his hand, she murmured, ‘Don’t worry, I won’t change my mind. I want Judith to be safe.’

They both looked down at their sleeping daughter, snug in a lightweight TanSad canvas pram. Teresa had exchanged it for the coach built Silver Cross they’d bought when she was born. A reluctant swap, but necessary thanks to the space restrictions on the small ship. Leo, his heart heavy with dread now the parting was so close, bent his head to kiss Judith’s downy cheek. She stirred, opening her eyes to stare at him and then smiled. He smiled back, and she sighed and went back to sleep. By now they were near the gangplank, and Leo turned to his wife and hugged her. A sailor lifted up the pram with ease and passed it to another waiting on the deck.

‘Goodbye, my darling. Ring me if you can or…write.’ The words choked in his throat. They’d agreed on no long goodbye in public, but it was hard not to hold on a little longer.

Teresa’s eyes were moist as she said, ‘I will. And you take care of yourself and…and everything until our return. I love you.’ He was about to say ‘I love you, too’ when the sailor took Teresa’s hand and helped her onto the gangplank. Leo stepped back to let another passenger through and watched as his wife turned to wave before being ushered aside. He raised his hand in return, but she was already out of sight in the crowd.

The uppermost thought in his whirling head was, would he ever see his family again? A small, insistent voice assured him the chances were slim.