TWENTY-NINE

SOMEHOW I MAKE IT THROUGH a few more crazy days of school. Between the honors track classes and our intense lunch table conversations, seventh grade is way harder than sixth.

But texting Alice every day totally helps and knowing that I’m going to see Golfy this weekend keeps me sane.

The day of the barbecue arrives, and I’m excited for Kaylan’s mom to meet Zoe’s dad, and it’ll be nice to JHH another list item.

But if I’m being honest, I kind of want the whole thing to be over already.

It feels like a lot of people, going through a lot of different things, all in the same place will make for a chaotic situation.

Maybe if Kaylan and I were at our strongest, I’d feel more confident about it. We’re working on keeping our friendship strong, but I kind of don’t even know what that means anymore.

We’re, like, on different football teams, and occasionally we meet in the middle of the field for a handshake. But I don’t feel like we’re really playing together.

“Hiiiii,” Kaylan sings, running through the gate to the backyard and snapping me out of my friendship analysis. “Barbecue day is here!” She fist-bumps me. “My mom is coming later, but I wanted to come early to set up.”

“Nice.” I smile, trying to make sure my parents aren’t arguing about something in the kitchen.

When my dad comes out, carrying a platter of uncooked burgers, Kaylan walks over to him and says, “We can take control of the grill, Mr. Nodberg.” Her hands are on her hips. “I’ve grilled before.”

“Okay, Kaylan.” He turns to face her, eyebrows raised. “First of all, you should know by now that Mr. Nodberg is my dad. My name is Marc.” He pauses for a second. (This is their private joke. It’s silly that my BFF and my dad would even have a private joke, but it’s comforting, too.) He goes on, “Second of all, why don’t you girls just enjoy yourselves and leave the grilling to me?”

“Can I just see all the meat?” Kaylan asks.

He sighs. “Knock yourself out.”

My dad wipes his sweaty forehead on the sleeve of his T-shirt, and I look away, pretending not to notice. The lightness in his tone that was always there has dissipated—it’s not that he comes across as angry or anything, just tense and not in the mood to deal. Even the private joke comes out as some kind of obligation, like he has to say it, not because he finds it all that funny.

“Looks good.” Kaylan shrugs and nudges her head toward the drink table, alerting me that I should follow her over there.

“Does he seem super stressed?” I whisper.

“Kinda yeah, to be honest. He doesn’t have his usual chill dad vibe going on right now.”

“That’s what worries me.”

“I know.” She puts a hand on my shoulder. “You can’t be the only chill one in your family. But let’s put that on hold for a tiny sec and game plan this my-mom-meeting-Zoe’s-dad thing.”

I nod. “Um, okay, when Zoe gets here, you, me, and your mom go over to where they’re sitting, and we just start to chat with Zoe and hope that the grown-ups get that they should chat, too.”

“Will they get that?” Kaylan asks me.

“I think so, I mean, they are adults who have been in the world a long time, right?” I pour myself a glass of Sprite. “Want some?”

“Sure.”

We go to sit on the hammock with our Sprites and keep game planning. For the first time in a while, there’s a lightness to everything. There’s a small breeze, but it’s still pretty warm. The air still has the faintest summer smell. And when it’s just Kaylan and me without the lunch table girls, I feel like things can maybe be okay. Strong, even. Like we can still be us, the way we were before camp.

My mom’s book club friends start coming in, and it feels nice that she invited some people, too. And then the husbands of the book club ladies traipse in carrying fruit salad platters and stuff.

I’m finishing the last sips of my Sprite when I see Golfy walking through the fence gateway that leads to my backyard.

“Hi, Mrs. Nodberg. I’m Jonah. We met on visiting day, I think,” he says, reaching out awkwardly to shake my mom’s hand. Seriously, who is this person? Who is Jonah? And also who shakes hands right when they walk into a place like they’re a campaigning politician or something?

“Golfy,” I yell out, loud enough for him to hear me, but not so loud that my parents and the few other early birds hear me, too.

“Oh, hi!” He waves and then mutters something to my mom, ducking his head a little bit.

“Hello!” he says, all joyful and cheerful sounding, and pulls me into a hug. “Your backyard is super cool.”

“It is?” I ask, releasing myself from the hug and looking around. We have an old wooden swing set, a patio with standard outdoor furniture, and a grill.

“It has a very peaceful thing going on,” he explains. “I like it.”

“Thanks.”

Kaylan looks at me crooked, but I just shrug and ask Golfy if he wants any soda.

“I’d love some of that Black Cherry Seltzer,” he says. “My favorite.”

Kaylan and I both crack up at the same time.

“I am who I am,” he says.

We stand around talking about nothing really—where his parents are going for dinner while he’s at the barbecue (Gari Sushi), how long he’s been going to camp (six years), where is older sister is away at college (Vassar).

Part of me wishes that all of these people could leave so I could be alone with Golfy and we could talk about all the stuff that’s been going on. I feel like he’d have interesting perspectives on everything, stuff I haven’t thought of.

“Oh, there’s Zoe,” Golfy says, dipping a pita chip into the hummus.

“We gotta go,” I say to him. “Be back soon.”

“Uh, okay.”

“This wasn’t the plan. We weren’t supposed to storm over to them,” Kaylan whispers to me as we walk over. “We discussed this.”

“Oh yeah. I completely zoned out.”

“Bad habit alert!” Kaylan taps me on the forehead. “Keep working on it. Anyway, we’re walking over now, so we’ll just greet them and then we’ll go sit and try to get my mom to come over,” Kaylan instructs, looking around, probably to locate her mom.

“Zoe, love of my life.” I run the last few steps to meet her and wrap my arms around her neck, pulling her in for the tightest hug possible.

“Hey, thanks so much.” Kaylan feigns some anger.

“You’re the love of my life, too.” I reach an arm over her shoulder and pull her in, too, and soon we’re in a group hug even though Zoe and Kaylan don’t really know each other.

Life is weird like that. Sometimes you end up in group hugs you didn’t expect to be in. Sometimes you throw a barbecue to set up your first best friend’s mom with your new friend’s dad just to complete something on a list you and first best friend made up and are continuing because that’s just the kind of people you are.

“Where’s your dad?” I ask Zoe, suddenly panicked that he had to go somewhere else and he just dropped her off.

“You’re never going to believe this,” she starts.

Uh-oh.

“He’s already talking to Kaylan’s mom. She was out front getting something from the car and then he was trying to park behind her but he’s a terrible parker and he ended up having me get out of the car to see if he was too far from the curb and then Kaylan’s mom started to weigh in, but in a totally normal, funny way, and then they just kept talking.”

“OMG, that sounds insane.” Kaylan laughs. “My mom always talks to people she doesn’t know. I’m not sure what that’s all about.”

“It really wasn’t insane,” Zoe says, now laughing, too. “It sounds like it, but it wasn’t.”

“Is it weird that it doesn’t sound that insane to me?” I push up my cheeks. “Just normal parking on the street kind of stuff.” I turn to Zoe. “Sorry our driveway was full.”

“That’s okay,” she replies. “Sorry we were late.”

She looks at me, eyebrows raised. “So Golfy is here. . . .”

“OMG. This is happening,” Kaylan says.

Zoe nods. “In all of the years I’ve known him, I have never seen him like this. He’s, like, in looove with her.”

“Guys, stop. He’s right over there.” I roll my eyes. “Can we please go see when my dad is starting the grill? At this rate, people will be sleeping over.”

While my dad and I are discussing what meats to grill first, I see the lunch table girls walk in.

Of course they all come together and then all sit at the little table by the swing set, plopping their bags on the grass.

Kaylan goes right over to them.

“Go back and have fun with your friends,” my dad instructs. “It was your idea to have this barbecue, right? Might as well enjoy it.”

“You can enjoy it, too,” I offer. “It won’t cost extra.”

I wait for him to laugh, but he doesn’t. Maybe now isn’t the time for money jokes.

I walk back over to Zoe, Golfy, and Hana.

“So sad AlKal couldn’t come,” Hana says. “I brought a picture of her so we can feel like she’s here. And we will FaceTime her later.”

“Fab.” I sit down on Zoe’s lap since there aren’t any extra chairs.

“Those are your school friends?” She looks over to where they’re sitting.

“Well, I’m not sure friends is the right word.” I lift my eyebrows. “We sit together at lunch. And I was good friends with part of the group last year, but it feels like they all really bonded when I was away. And now—who knows.”

Hana slow-nods. “Totally get it.”

“Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver”—Golfy pauses in his singing and we all yell out Silver! like we do at camp—“and the other’s gold.”

Everyone turns to look at us like we’re crazy, but I don’t mind. We crack up and start singing other camp songs. For a few minutes, I completely forget anyone else is even here. It’s like Hana, Zoe, Golfy, and I (plus the photo of Alice) are the only people in the world.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the lunch table girls walking over to us.

“We came to meet your camp friends,” Cami says, grabbing a cookie from the platter on the way over. “Hiii, everyone. I’m Cami.”

I go around and introduce everyone, and then, much to my surprise, the lunch table girls sit on the grass around us.

“Guys, anyone want to play Two Truths and a Lie?” I ask. It was the first thing that popped into my head, and it seems like the kind of game the lunch table girls and the Camp Silver crew would really enjoy. Maybe it’s a way to bring everyone together, lighten the mood, merge my two worlds.

A little ding goes off in my head—passion alert? Is bringing people together a passion? Maybe.

“Oh yes! I love that game,” Kira says.

“Okay, let’s all sit in a circle over here.” We walk over to the little corner of the yard that’s empty for the moment, and I side-eye Gemma that she shouldn’t come over here and bug me. She rolls her eyes, but I think she gets what I’m saying.

“I’ll start,” Golfy says once we’re all seated, stretching his legs out in front of him on the grass. “I once threw up on someone at a baseball game, I once needed my grandfather to bring me a new pair of pants when I was stuck in a bathroom at a basketball game and had a stomach incident, and I once peed myself on the New York City subway.”

Everyone cracks up, and I glare at him. “Okay, first of all—ew. That was disgusting.” I shake my head. Disgusting and adorable all at the same time. “I’m gonna say the basketball game thing was the lie?” I tilt my head, still questioning my choice.

“Nope! Throw up at a baseball game. But good guess!” He stands up and takes a bow. “Okay, now Ari goes.”

I fold my hands together and try to think of something good. “Okay, soooo I once fell asleep at a drum performance, I once rode a camel, and I can touch my tongue to the tip of my nose!”

June stands up and does a little shimmy while she says her answer, “You never fell asleep at a drum performance!”

“Ding-ding-ding! You got it, June!” I smile and stand up to hug her. I’ve never felt this cuddly with June in my life, but the fact that she figured that out about me really means something—I feel like she knows me.

We keep playing, and I sit there as the lunch table girls and the Camp Silver crew really bond.

We FaceTime Alice in to play, and she says to Cami, “You’ve never eaten one of those mega-spicy chips. Totally believe that you’ve gone backstage for every Broadway show you’ve seen and that you knew how to do a cartwheel when you were two!”

“OMG, I feel like you totally get me, Alice!” Cami squeals, making kissy faces through the phone. “And you’re not even here!”

We keep playing until Cami tells us that her mom’s on her way to pick them all up. “This has been so much fun, but we have to go—everyone is sleeping over tonight.”

“Yeah, thanks for coming.” I smile, ignoring the sting of the everyone. I mean, we all just had so much fun together. There’s no sting. I won’t allow myself to feel a sting.

“Best barbecue ever,” Kira and June say at the same time.

“Seriously, loved it,” M.W. adds. “Smooches to all of you. Yay, Camp Silver!”

We all crack up and wave as the lunch table girls walk out of the backyard.

“I’m going to get more soda,” Zoe announces. “Anyone want any?”

We all shake our heads.

“Um, love connection,” I lean in to whisper to Kaylan when I notice her mom and Zoe’s dad across the backyard. And then I get an instant pang of maybe I shouldn’t have said that. “Is this weird for you?”

She raises her left cheek like she’s considering it. “Kinda but also not really.” She shrugs. “Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, I think so.” I put my arm around her. “But they haven’t stopped talking all night!”

When Zoe gets back with her soda she says, “They are, like, seriously hitting it off!” She high-fives me and then Kaylan. “Right?”

“Totally,” we say at the same time.

The rest of the crowd stays for another hour and then slowly trickles out. We all pick at what’s left of the mac and cheese.

“This really came out amazing,” Zoe tells us. “It’s like professional mac and cheese.”

“It is,” Golfy confirms. “No doubt about it.”

“Fosh,” Hana adds, and we all crack up.

“We are culinary geniuses,” I add. “Right, Kaylan?”

“Oh, totally!”

“Are you going to JJH or, uh, HHJ or . . . ,” Zoe asks, confused.

“You told her about the JHH!” Kaylan squeals.

“It’s not a secret,” I remind her. “But, anyway, we both JHHed this one already . . .”

Finally Robert Irwin Krieger decides it’s time to go, which makes sense since he and Zoe are the last ones here, except for Golfy and his parents.

“This is the weirdest day ever,” I whisper to Zoe. “I never would have predicted that my parents and Golfy’s parents would be sitting at my backyard table, eating ice cream cake together.”

“That was a nice touch,” she says.

“We always have ice cream cake at our barbecues. It’s, like, a thing. I don’t know why.”

“It’s good.”

“How are you feeling about your dad and Kaylan’s mom?”

“Um, it’s strange, but he seems really happy. I’ve never seen him sit and talk with people for so long before.”

“Really?” I look over at them again.

“Yeah, he usually gets bored after a little while.”

I laugh. “Interesting.”

“So what about you and Golfy?” she asks me, as we observe him chatting with some of my neighbors.

“He’s the greatest, cutest, best boy in the world,” I declare like it’s a fact and there’s no way anyone can debate it.

She rolls her eyes. “Whatever you say.”

“What does that even mean, Zoe Krieger? Tell me now.”

“He’s funny, but he’s Golfy. I’ve told you this before.” She raises her eyebrows. “He’s a good boy, though. Definitely.”

Finally, after a hundred hugs, everyone leaves, and Kaylan and I are in the backyard helping to clean up. There’s a gloomy sadness when I realize I don’t know when I’ll see the camp crew next. It’s always better to have a plan in place; it helps take away the slimy missing-someone feeling.

I glance over at my parents scrubbing the grill and spraying the table, and they’re actually smiling. The barbecue took their mind off things. It was like a break from the trouble, just for a few hours.

“JHH time,” Kaylan yelps, tying the garbage bag. “For Zoe’s dad and my mom. And the mac and cheese again, since we didn’t JHH that one together.”

“For real. I agree.”

Jump in the air. High-five. Hug.

“We’re crushing this,” Kaylan says. “Like, even more than last summer.”

“I think so, too,” I say.

And after tonight, I feel even more sure about one of my passions—bringing people together. That concept of leadership really makes sense to me. And cheering people up—that’s part of it, too.

For sure.