Chapter Fifteen

The mating season was just around the corner again. Marin couldn’t believe it had arrived so quickly, but the fever was unmistakable.

From the expression on his face that morning, Caspian had noticed the heat as well.

Marin sighed and stared out over the ocean, watching the tide ebb and flow. “Calder, help me. What should I do?”

No answer came, not that he expected one. Calder was gone and he was never going to return. The one man who Marin had always turned to was out of his reach forever.

The sun had disappeared below the horizon some time ago, but Marin hadn’t moved from his spot. Caspian could find him if he wanted to. The god had the power to transport himself to Marin’s side, no matter where he was in the world.

He wondered what he would do if Caspian showed up on the beach now. They had become closer in recent months, but they hadn’t started a physical relationship, not even sharing so much as a kiss. Marin could tell Caspian wanted to progress things between them, but he had respected Marin’s wishes to go at a pace the merman found comfortable.

Tonight was different, though. The mating fever was upon him and the pain was worse than last time. He knew the ache in his guts would only increase with each season he endured without seeking release.

For the first time since Calder’s death, Marin considered the possibility of breaking his fever with another man. The thought was fleeting, but the guilt that followed lingered. How could he even think about betraying Calder’s memory?

He sighed again and picked up a handful of sand, letting the grains run through his fingers.

Calder wouldn’t want him to experience such discomfort, nor would he want him to spend the rest of his life alone. His lover had suffered through several mating seasons without release during his younger days, and he had never wanted to see other mermen go through the pain. The two of them had often invited mermen without a lover of their own to join them on the night of the solstice. They had never been jealous or begrudging of their occasional third.

This was different, though. This wasn’t inviting someone to join them, nor was it simply doing what he needed to break his fever. His growing feelings for Caspian meant that if anything did happen, it could never be just sex.

Marin pushed aside the surge of warmth he felt when he thought about Caspian. It was becoming harder each day to remember where Phoebus ended and he began. He wished he could shut out the memories of his past life and concentrate on the here and now. Maybe then he wouldn’t be so confused and he could figure out how much of what he felt was real and what were just remnants of what he had felt as Phoebus.

Phoebus had loved Caspian. He had fallen for him completely and had been prepared to give up his fins to spend eternity with him. Marin couldn’t imagine loving anyone that much. He wouldn’t have given up the sea, even for Calder, not that a fellow merman would ever have asked for such a sacrifice.

Thoughts of Calder made him ache even more as he recalled their last time together. His strong and powerful lover had never hesitated to give Marin what he needed, opening to him without question from their first night together to their last.

An image flashed across his mind as he thought about taking Caspian in the same manner. For once he knew that the image wasn’t one of Phoebus’ memories. Caspian’s refusal to allow Phoebus—or any man—to penetrate him meant that Marin only had his imagination in this regard.

Marin hadn’t bothered to enlighten Caspian as to the trigger to break his mating fever. Caspian had assumed his trigger was sucking cocks because that had been Phoebus’ trigger, but when Marin had corrected him, he hadn’t bothered to ask for clarification, merely jumping to the next conclusion, that Marin needed someone to fuck him.

The annoyance at Caspian’s assumption returned again and he picked up a stone from the beach and threw it forcefully into the sea.

Bloody arrogant god!

He picked up another rock and pulled back his arm to throw, only to find someone standing right in front of him.

“Hello, Marin,” Cari said. “I thought I’d see how you were doing.”

“I’m fine.”

“Hmm.” The goddess didn’t sound as if she believed him, but he didn’t care whether she did or not.

“Did you want something?” Marin snapped.

“No, I just thought I’d take a little stroll on the beach.”

“And you just happened to pick this one?”

Cari smiled. “I thought you’d be spending tonight with Caspian.”

“Did you?”

“Yes.”

“Well, as you can see, I prefer to spend the night alone. I’m honoring Calder’s memory.”

“Rubbish,” Cari replied. “You’re hiding from Caspian and being needlessly stubborn.”

“What would you know about it?” Marin glared at the goddess. “Many mer honor their deceased mate by remaining abstinent.”

“Yes, they do,” Cari agreed. “And until this mating season you were doing that too. But tonight we both know that this is not the case.”

“How dare you?”

“How dare you,” Cari retorted. “Do you have any idea how long Caspian has been waiting for you?”

“He’s been waiting for Phoebus,” Marin replied. “I’m not him. I’m Marin, and Caspian needs to understand that.”

“My brother can be blind in some matters but he isn’t stupid. He is well aware of who you are. He knew you for his love reborn from the first time he saw you.”

“He recognized my face and fins. That doesn’t mean he knows me.”

“That’s why he wants to get to know you—to learn who you are and discover how much of Phoebus lives within you.”

“Not much,” Marin muttered.

“That’s not true,” Cari said. “Even I can see the similarities in your personalities.”

Marin frowned. He hadn’t thought himself much like Phoebus at all. “What do you mean?”

Cari shrugged. “You both fall in love very quickly. Phoebus gave his heart to my brother the first time he met him. You were the same with Calder, weren’t you?”

Marin gave a slow nod. He had been with Calder since his first mating season, and he had loved him from that night.

“You are both loyal and honest and brave to the point of being foolhardy.”

“That’s not true.”

“You still insist on facing Urion yourself. That is the height of foolishness.”

“So you all keep telling me, but Phoebus didn’t take risks like that.”

“No, but he didn’t tell Caspian as soon as the jealous priests were becoming problematic. He remained silent, thinking he could handle them himself, and we both know how that ended.”

“That wasn’t bravery.”

“Then what was it? Why didn’t you tell Caspian and ask him to deal with them?”

“Caspian did know.”

“Eventually, but you could have told him sooner.”

“It wouldn’t have made any difference. Caspian made it clear that he wouldn’t dismiss the priests from his service, that I had to learn to live with them.”

“Had Caspian known what would happen, he would never have let you remain in danger.”

“Well, he didn’t know, did he? For some reason, the Goddess of Prophecy failed to see my murder before it happened.”

Cari shook her head. “Unfortunately, the power that enables me to see into the future cannot show me anything that takes place in the temple of another god. Had Rafe attacked you anywhere else, I would certainly have seen his actions in time. To my eternal regret, I was unable to save you.”

“I didn’t realize that.”

“No god or goddess likes to broadcast their weaknesses,” Cari said. “I am truly sorry I wasn’t able to stop him.”

“It wasn’t your fault any more than it was Caspian’s.”

“Then you know he feels guilt for what happened?”

“Yes, of course I know that. Anyone with eyes in their head can see he does.”

“Actually, very few do see that. Until Phoebus, my brother was carefree and open about his feelings, the good and the bad. He hid nothing, even when he tried to. His love for Phoebus was obvious to everyone except Caspian himself. I had never seen him happier than he was when he was with Phoebus. Then he lost him and closed himself off from the world. He has been a shadow of his former self for centuries. I thought when he found you, after all this time, he could finally be happy again.”

Marin shook his head. “Maybe if I was more like Phoebus it would be possible, but we’re just too different.”

“You’re the same person.”

“No, we’re not, and that is what none of you seem to understand. I don’t doubt that Caspian loved Phoebus, but that doesn’t mean he could ever love me.”

Cari hooked her arm through his and steered him casually down the beach. “Please give him a chance. My grandfather gave you the memories of your past life so you would remember your love for Caspian. Please don’t forget it again.”

The goddess vanished mid-step, though Marin felt her hand on his arm for a second or two longer before it too disappeared.

Perhaps he should go talk to Caspian. They certainly couldn’t continue on like this. It wasn’t fair on either of them.

Marin found Caspian in his apartment, right where he had left him earlier in the evening.

Caspian turned off the television and tossed the remote onto the coffee table.

“You didn’t have to do that if you were watching something,” Marin said.

“Just a documentary on the rising of Atlantis. No new theories, just the same old nonsense they’ve been reporting all along. Did you want something to eat?”

Marin shook his head. “I’m not hungry. I think we should probably talk.”

“If you like,” Caspian said. “About anything in particular?”

Marin sat down on the sofa and pulled up his legs, tucking his feet under him. “I’m not Phoebus.”

“I know that.”

“I’m not sure that you do. I keep telling you, but I think there’s still a part of you that sees him every time you look at me.”

“I can’t help that you share his image.”

“I know. I just…”

“What?”

Marin stared out of the window at the lights of the city. “Why wouldn’t you let Phoebus fuck you?”

“Where did that come from?”

“The one time he—I—brought it up, you refused. You suggested we invite another into our bed if I wanted to fuck someone.”

“I’ve never let any of my lovers take control in that manner. It wasn’t any reflection on you.”

“Even after all these years, you still haven’t let someone top you?”

“No… I…”

Marin turned back to Caspian to see him staring at his hands. “What is it?”

Caspian rubbed his nose and wouldn’t meet his eyes. “There hasn’t been anyone since you,” he finally said.

“But it’s been centuries!”

“I know.” Caspian grimaced. “I’m just thankful gods don’t get mating fevers.”

“You’ve really been celibate all these years?”

Caspian shrugged. “I swore to you that no other man would know my touch for as long as you lived.”

“Um, I was dead, though. I wouldn’t have expected you to remain faithful all this time.”

“I couldn’t face being with another man. Goodness knows my sister tried her best to set me up with any number of men, but while I dated, I never took any of them into my bed.”

“Oh.”

“You believe me?” Caspian asked. “Most men would doubt my word.”

“You’ve never lied to me, even when you’ve told me things I would probably rather not hear. If you say you’ve been faithful to me since the day I died, I believe you.”

Caspian gave him a smile. “Just don’t tell anyone.”

“You’re worried about your reputation?” Marin stared at him incredulously.

“No, I’ve never been concerned about such things. It’s just rather embarrassing.”

Marin smiled. “I don’t think you should be embarrassed at all. I like that you waited for me, even though I think perhaps you shouldn’t have.”

“I’ll wait for you forever,” Caspian said. “You’re it for me. Don’t you know that by now?”

The intensity of Caspian’s gaze was more than he could stand. Marin turned away.

“Marin, what is it?” Caspian asked. “What did I say?”

“I think you should consider letting Phoebus go,” Marin replied, his voice barely more than a whisper. “He and I are just too different.”

“You keep saying that, but I don’t see it.”

Marin gave Caspian a sharp stare. “You wouldn’t let Phoebus fuck you. What about me? Would you let me—Marin—fuck you?”

“I told you… I don’t let anyone do that.”

“Then you need to find someone else to spend eternity with.”

“What? I don’t want anyone else. I want you. I need you.”

Marin stood and walked to the door of the guest room. He hesitated, but he had to at least tell Caspian why he couldn’t be with him. “I need someone else,” he finally said. “The only way to break my fever during the mating season is for me to fuck another man.”

 

Caspian didn’t know what to say, but Marin didn’t wait for him to respond. He disappeared into his room, closing the door softly behind him.

How could I have been such a fool? Marin had said himself that his trigger wasn’t the same as Phoebus’, and he had just assumed that Marin needed to be taken and overpowered to break his fever. He hadn’t even considered that he might need to be the one in charge.

What in the world am I going to do?

Closing his eyes, he leaned back on the sofa and tried to process what he had just heard.

Phoebus had never been happier than when he was on his knees, giving pleasure to him. He had let Caspian take him and had only once raised the possibility of them changing places. When Caspian had refused, Phoebus hadn’t mentioned it again.

Now Marin hadn’t just brought up the subject. He’d made it clear that he needed what Caspian had always refused to give anyone.

Can I give that to Marin?

Caspian didn’t know. He felt the unfamiliar need to talk to someone about this, but his choices were rather limited. His family was out of the question, and he wasn’t exactly surrounded by friends. Before Phoebus, he’d had lovers but not friends, and since he’d lost him, he’d had no one. For the first time, he felt lonely and isolated.

He searched his mind for someone who might understand. There was Jake, a human who was very familiar with mermen and mating triggers. With two lovers with fevers to break, he was surely an authority on the subject. Unfortunately, it was the night of the solstice, which meant any discussion would have to wait, because he would have his hands full with his mermen tonight.

Or maybe not.

Caspian glanced at the clock and belatedly remembered the time difference. Jake and his family were on the other side of the world. Perhaps he would have time for a quick chat after all.

He transported himself to Jake’s island before he could think it through too much.

He found Jake working in his vegetable patch. His efforts to be as self-sufficient as possible seemed to be going quite well. Treacle, the family dog, barked at him and left off helping Jake to run and greet him.

Caspian had never really understood the concept of keeping animals as pets, but he was quite fond of Treacle. “Hello, boy,” he said as the dog jumped up at him, leaving muddy paw prints on his trousers.

Jake, alerted by Treacle, put down his spade and came to greet him. “Caspian, what brings you here? Hopefully not more trouble in Atlantis?”

“No, the island is crawling with scientists, but nothing new to report in that regard. I’m here on a different matter. Do you have a few minutes?”

“Sure. What’s up?”

Caspian looked at the house. “Where are Kyle and Finn?”

“They’re in New Atlantis at the moment. I expect them back later. Did you need to see them?”

“No, but I didn’t want to intrude on your time, especially with it being the solstice.”

“It’s fine. They broke their fevers before dawn this morning.”

“Ah, good. Um, that’s what I wanted to speak to you about, actually.”

“What? Mating fevers?”

“Yes.” Caspian gestured to the house and Jake led him along the path, calling Treacle to come to heel before he got into more mischief.

“Do you want a drink?” Jake asked once they were inside.

“Sure. I think I need one.”

Jake poured them each a large whisky and they sat in the living room.

Caspian took a swallow of his drink as he tried to think where to begin.

“How’s Marin?” Jake asked, before he had gathered his thoughts.

“Better than he was,” Caspian replied.

“Is he still determined to track down Urion?”

“He’s prepared to wait until the high priest returns to human form, but I suspect his patience will run out sooner or later. He has other things on his mind at the moment, though.”

Jake cringed in sympathy. “How much can one merman be expected to handle?”

Caspian shook his head sadly. “Unfortunately, the additional burden he has to bear is my fault.”

Jake waited for him to say more, not prompting or encouraging him in any way. Caspian rather wished he would, though he suspected he might know why he didn’t.

“Jake, do you consider me a friend?” he asked.

“Um, I guess…maybe. You’ve been very good to me and my guys. You know we can never repay your generosity.”

Caspian shook his head. “I’m not talking about that. I mean…am I someone you would talk to, confide in?”

“Er…”

“I see that I’m not,” Caspian concluded for himself. “I know I’m not really approachable. I haven’t been for a long time.” He gave a bitter laugh. “I didn’t used to be like this. I would throw parties that were the envy of the entire pantheon. I fucked more men in a week than most humans would in a lifetime. Then I met Phoebus and everything changed.”

Jake refilled their glasses and sat back without a word.

Caspian hadn’t realized how much he needed to talk about what had happened all those years ago. The words poured from him as they never had before. Jake listened to it all.

They got through an entire bottle of whiskey—or he had, Caspian thought ruefully. He would have to buy Jake a bottle to replenish his stock.

Finally he reached the end of Phoebus’ tale and swallowed the last of his drink in a silent toast to his lost love.

“I had no idea,” Jake said quietly. “I’m so sorry.”

Caspian acknowledged his sympathy with a nod. “Marin is Phoebus reincarnated.”

Jake gaped at him. “Marin? Calder’s Marin?”

“Yes.”

“Wow.”

“He is exactly like Phoebus in appearance, even his mismatched eyes and two-toned fins.”

“I’m sensing a but here.”

“Phoebus and Marin have different triggers when it comes to the mating season.”

“So?”

Caspian looked at Jake out of the corner of his eye. “Phoebus needed to suck off another man. Marin needs to fuck one.”

Jake shrugged. “I’m not seeing the problem here. I know there have been a few problems with the mer who have incompatible triggers, but you’re not mer.”

“What do you mean about incompatible triggers?” Caspian asked. He hadn’t heard of such a thing, though he had to admit his knowledge of mermen sex was somewhat limited.

“Kyle and Finn have mentioned some mer who have had issues of that nature. There were a couple of mermen who both needed to be fucked, to feel the heat of release inside them, but neither could come in the other until they had broken their fevers by having someone come in them. I understand that in those circumstances another steps in to assist. The mer are always willing to help out others in that regard.”

Caspian nodded. “I see what you mean. I suppose I hadn’t really thought about that possibility.”

“I can’t say I had until they mentioned it. I still don’t see what your problem is, though.”

Caspian guessed he had to say it out loud, even though he had told no one except Marin of his anal virginity. “I’ve never let anyone fuck me.”

“You mean to tell me that in all these orgies you used to host, you never once let a man near your arse?” Jake snickered and Caspian reflected that perhaps they should forgo any more refills.

“Not once,” Caspian replied, still sober and regretting his godhood. “I like being in control. I need to be in control.”

“Maybe Marin does too,” Jake suggested. “I can’t say I would blame him if he did, especially after being murdered. Who wouldn’t be reluctant to give up control in those circumstances?”

“I never thought about it like that. Do you really think what happened to him in his past life could have such an effect on this one?”

“I don’t know. Until this afternoon, I never really thought about reincarnation at all. It was just one of many afterlife theories I’d heard about and not given much thought to—kind of like gods and mermen. Until you’re face-to-face with the reality, you don’t really consider it.”

“We’ve thrown a lot at you these last few years, haven’t we?”

“Oh, yeah. But I get Kyle and Finn out of it, so I’m definitely not complaining.”

Caspian chuckled. “You’re really happy with them, aren’t you?”

“More than I ever thought I could be with any man,” Jake replied. “I don’t know how I ever lived without them.”

“I’d like that too.” Caspian sighed. “I nearly had it once, and it slipped through my fingers. It was my own damn fault, and I’ve cursed myself every single day for failing to protect him.”

“Phoebus is why you now protect the mer who come to land, isn’t he?” Jake guessed with his usual astuteness.

“Yes.”

The sound of a door opening made Caspian jump. A moment later Kyle and Finn appeared in the doorway, laughing and tussling with each other, at least until they saw Caspian and jumped apart, startled.

“Not more trouble?” Finn said in lieu of a greeting.

Caspian frowned. Do I really only come here when there’s a problem? He thought back and realized he did. Maybe he should make an effort to rectify that.

“Nothing for you to worry about,” Caspian assured him. “I just came here to get some advice from Jake about mermen and mating triggers.”

Finn laughed. “If you want advice on those, why ask the human instead of the mermen?”

Caspian shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I wasn’t sure whether it would be considered rude to talk about mating triggers with a merman. Such things are rather personal, aren’t they?”

Finn flushed bright red and Caspian found himself wondering what Finn’s trigger was. He bit his tongue rather than ask.

“Most mer are pretty open about their triggers,” Kyle said as he sat down in the large chair opposite the sofa. Finn flopped down onto his lap with a contented sigh. “Hell, most of them have sex on the beach out there, in full view of everyone. They aren’t all lucky enough to have a house like this with a nice comfortable bed in it.”

“What did you want to ask about triggers?” Finn asked.

“I was wondering if you knew of anyone whose trigger changed during the course of their life?”

Both mermen frowned, thought about his question for a few moments then shook their heads in response.

“Why do you ask?” Kyle questioned.

“I was just curious.”

The mermen gave him twin glances of open skepticism, but it was Jake who spoke.

“You’re wondering if Marin’s trigger might change in time?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve never heard of such a thing,” Kyle said. “My trigger has never changed and I’ve not known another’s to either. Admittedly, I haven’t had that many lovers, so I could be wrong, but I suspect that Marin’s trigger will remain what it is now for the rest of his life.”

“I thought that might be the case, but I wanted to ask. If there’s any chance it might change, I’d like to know. Before I…”

“Before you what?” Finn asked. “Are you and Marin fucking?”

Caspian shot him a glare and Finn blanched and shrank into Kyle’s side. Caspian immediately regretted his temper and tried to school his features into something less forbidding. He didn’t want Finn to be scared of him. “I’m sorry, Finn. I’m still rather—what do they call it these days?—socially inept. No, Marin and I aren’t fucking. He’s only just beginning to get over Calder. I’m not sure it isn’t too soon for him to be thinking about a relationship with anyone. But tonight is the solstice and the subject of mating fevers and triggers came up.”

Finn seemed to ease a little. “We talked about inviting Marin to join us on the solstice to break his fever but he refused our offer. He said he wanted to remain abstinent in honor of Calder.”

“Yes, he told me the same thing last solstice,” Caspian said.

“Don’t push him if he’s not ready,” Jake warned. “It may take years for him to truly lay Calder’s memory to rest. You, of all people, should know how hard it is to let go of someone you love.”

Kyle and Finn stared at him curiously, but Caspian couldn’t bear to tell his story again. He would leave it for Jake to fill them in after he had left.

“I know,” Caspian said quietly. “I just had the feeling tonight that he might have been close. If not for a relationship, at least for some relief during the solstice. I was prepared for it to just be sex, meaning more to me than it did to him. I just wasn’t expecting his trigger to be what it was.”

Kyle gave him a knowing glance, and Caspian didn’t need to ask to know that Kyle was well aware of Marin’s trigger. He suspected Kyle had easily put two and two together and figured out what he was struggling to say.

Finn, a little slower on the uptake, made a sound of astonishment. “You mean you’ve never…?”

Caspian shook his head. He supposed it was better that they all knew his secret now. That way he wouldn’t have to wonder if Jake had told them after he’d left.

Jake patted his arm. “The way I see it, Marin’s trigger is set for life. He needs someone who’s willing to let him fuck them each solstice. If you can’t do that, perhaps you need to let him go.”

“What if I can’t?” Caspian asked. Losing Phoebus had torn him apart. If he lost Marin too, he didn’t think he’d be able to stand the pain.

Jake took his hand and squeezed it. “If you love Marin as much as you loved Phoebus, you’ll give him what he needs.”

Caspian wanted to, he really did, but could he actually give up control to someone, not just once but on a regular basis?

If the alternative was losing Marin, he thought perhaps he could.

He supposed there was only one way to find out. It was time to face his fears, if Marin would let him.

Back at his apartment, the place was in darkness. He couldn’t hear Marin in his room, but he doubted the merman was sleeping. The pain from the solstice was always at its height at this time and Marin would be having a very restless night.

Caspian knocked on Marin’s door, waiting for the invitation to enter.

Marin’s call of ‘come in’ was barely audible, but Caspian, as a god, could hear it without difficulty and he let himself in, closing the door behind him.

The merman sat on his bed, a pillow against his chest and a painful grimace on his face.

“What is it?” Marin asked. “Is something wrong?”

“You could say that,” Caspian replied as he unbuttoned his shirt. “I find it very wrong that there’s a merman in great pain in my home, especially when there’s something I can do about it.”

Marin stared at him and Caspian knew he wasn't imagining the naked lust in his gaze.

“You wouldn’t…” Marin whispered. “You said yourself, you never give up control.”

Caspian tossed his shirt onto the floor and unzipped his trousers. “Until tonight.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, I am.” Caspian stepped out of his clothes and stood naked before another man for the first time in centuries. “Do you want to break your fever? If you’d rather honor Calder’s memory by staying untouched again, I’ll leave you in peace. You only have to say the word.”

Marin shook his head and moved across the bed, making room for Caspian to join him.

Caspian sat down next to him and took hold of Marin’s hand. “I know you don’t love me, and I don’t ask that from you. I’ll not push for more, and if tonight is all we have, I will accept that.”

Marin flashed him a quick smile. “The solstice comes around every six months.”

Caspian chuckled. “So it does.”

“I remember Phoebus’ love for you,” Marin said. “Perhaps one day I’ll learn to love again and come to care for you as well.” Marin shook his head. “No, I already care for you. I’m not sure when it happened, but I do. And if I can care, maybe one day I’ll love.”

Caspian raised Marin’s hand and kissed his palm. “That’s enough for me.”

Marin eased Caspian onto his back and ran his hands over his chest and abdomen. “I’ll try to treat you with the same gentleness that you once showed Phoebus.”

“Phoebus wasn’t untouched,” Caspian reminded him.

Marin snorted. “As good as.”

Caspian didn’t argue the point. It wasn’t as if it mattered. The past was over and done with. He let Marin open his legs and slip his fingers between his thighs.

“Do you have anything to ease my entrance?” Marin asked.

Caspian shook his head, before remembering he could summon lube with a thought. He managed to concentrate long enough to produce some and pass it over. “This is what humans use.”

“Is it any good?” Marin questioned as he opened it and sniffed at the contents.

“Well, it certainly helps with easing the pressure,” Caspian replied, moving his hand in a timeless gesture to illustrate his meaning. “I presume it works well enough for fucking as well.”

Marin shrugged and poured some of the lube into his hand. “I guess we’ll soon find out.”

Caspian closed his eyes as Marin prepared him, teasing him as much as his fingers stretched him.

Marin clearly knew what he was doing, and Caspian pushed the thought from his mind that Marin had done this with Calder many times during their years together. Jealousy had no place in his heart tonight.

He moaned as Marin took hold of his balls and squeezed them. His cock hardened and his eyes flew open when he felt a damp swipe along its length.

Marin gave him a wicked grin as he used his tongue to lick at his tip. “You taste nice.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Caspian replied. “Perhaps you’ll let me return the favor sometime.”

The moment the words left his mouth, he realized what he had said and cringed. Marin needed to fuck him and he wouldn’t be able to come until he did. No amount of sucking and licking on Caspian’s part would bring Marin pleasure tonight. His words, spoken without much thought, hinted that he wanted more than the solstice. Even though he had promised not to push him, he was already breaking his word.

Marin seemed to understand his discomfort and smiled at him from his spot between his legs. “It’s all right, Caspian. I think I might like that too.”

“No pressure,” Caspian assured him.

“I know.”

For a second, Caspian thought Marin might kiss him, but then the moment passed. Marin licked at his balls as he continued to move his fingers inside him, each press a little deeper, stretching him and readying him for Marin’s cock.

He closed his eyes, only opening them again when Marin removed his fingers and replaced them with the blunt head of his cock.

“You’re sure you want to do this?” Marin asked. “You can still back out and change your mind.”

“I’m sure,” Caspian replied. He clutched at the sheets and braced himself.

“Try to relax,” Marin said. “It’ll go easier if you do.”

“Easy for you to say,” Caspian muttered.

Marin chuckled. “I’m a lot smaller than you. If I can take you—and you remember that I did—then surely you can manage me.”

Caspian glanced down at Marin’s cock. “You seem bigger now than when you were Phoebus.”

Marin frowned down as he prepared himself with lube. “You think so?”

“Yes. Or maybe I’m just thinking you are because you’re about to shove it into me.”

Marin laughed and shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t remember.”

Caspian smiled at the sound of Marin’s joy. “Go for it.”

Marin took him at his word and slowly pushed his way inside. Caspian tried to relax, he really did, but still he tensed at the intrusion. He took a deep breath and forced his muscles to relax again.

“That’s it,” Marin encouraged. “Let me in.”

Caspian used his powers to take away the pain of Marin’s entrance, even as he mentally chided himself for cheating. He raised himself up to meet Marin’s thrust and moaned as the merman slid inside.

He reached around and grabbed Marin’s buttocks, pulling him nearer.

“Are you okay?” Marin asked. “I’m not hurting you?”

Caspian shook his head. “I used my powers to ease the pain.”

Marin halted his thrust and stared down at him. “All this time you’ve had the power to erase your own pain and you still refused to let anyone fuck you?”

“It was never about the pain,” Caspian replied. “It was about the control. I like being in charge.”

Marin nodded and with one hard thrust he buried himself in Caspian’s arse. “So do I.”

Caspian gasped and moaned as his body adjusted to the feel of Marin inside him. His erection had subsided, but when Marin moved within him with short, barely there jerks of his hips, the friction sent vibrations through his entire body and it rose once more.

“Move,” Caspian said. “Please, please, move!”

Marin didn’t hesitate. He fucked him with an expertise that only came from experience and Caspian shouted his encouragement as he met his thrusts with an enthusiasm that he never thought he would have.

It was the night of the solstice and Marin didn’t last long. All it took was a few minutes before he came, the heat of his release filling Caspian, even as the mating fever abated and Marin’s temperature returned to normal.

Marin collapsed across his chest with a groan. “Fuck.”

Caspian wasn’t sure how to answer that comment, so he held his tongue.

After a short time Marin rolled off him, pulling out of him as he did.

“You didn’t come,” Marin said.

Caspian gave a half-hearted shrug. “It’s fine. You’ve broken your fever, and that’s what’s important.”

“Calder always came when I fucked him,” Marin said. “He enjoyed it.”

Caspian rolled onto his side. “I enjoyed it too.”

“But you didn’t come.”

“No, but I think if we’d carried on a minute longer, I would have. You know as well as I do that on the solstice it’s harder for a merman to hold back and make things last.”

“I suppose so.”

Caspian sat up and stretched his arms over his head. “I’ll leave you to get some sleep.”

He had gathered up his clothes and was halfway to the door when Marin spoke.

“Don’t you want me to take care of that for you?”

Caspian smiled and shook his head. “I’ll take care of it.”

“Are you sure?” Marin asked, though even Caspian could tell he was only asking out of politeness.

“I’m sure,” Caspian replied. “Goodnight, Marin.”

He closed the door behind him and headed into his own room. Secure in the knowledge that he was alone, he settled himself on the bed and took himself in hand.

No stranger to the fine art of self-pleasure, Caspian slowly stroked his length and cupped his balls.

He closed his eyes and tried to conjure up the image of the merman who had haunted his dreams for centuries. For the first time he failed and instead of Phoebus, he saw Marin, his face captured in the bliss of his orgasm. Two mermen, so similar in looks, and yet also so different. Both had striking mismatched eyes, but the fire he saw in Marin’s was something he had never spotted in Phoebus’—the glint of wickedness, the desire to dominate and the teasing confidence of a man who knew how to please a lover. Marin had those in abundance.

“Marin,” he whispered, cautious in case his guest heard him.

He wanted Marin as much as he had ever wanted Phoebus. More, he realized. He liked the fire that burned within Marin. It drew him like a moth to the flame. He could only hope that it didn’t consume him.

“Oh, Marin,” he moaned as he increased his speed. “Marin, my Marin.” No, not my Marin. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

Still, it didn’t stop him from imagining that the merman in the other bedroom might one day touch him like this.

He came hard, spilling across his abdomen and chest. He panted and gasped with the force of his climax. As a god, he didn’t need to breathe to survive, but still, he always felt short of breath when the orgasm hit him.

Sticky, yet sated, Caspian idly stroked his chest with one hand while exploring his arse with the other.

He squeezed his nipples as he fingered himself. Marin hadn’t found his prostate earlier, and now he found himself curious as to what it would be like to feel a touch there.

Exploring slowly, he slid a second finger inside with ease.

He wondered why he hadn’t done that centuries ago.

Sighing deeply, he fucked himself with his fingers. His cock rose again and he gripped the base to stave off a second orgasm.

When he found the spot he was searching for, his hips bucked involuntarily.

“Oh fuck.” He touched it again, sending shockwaves of pleasure through his body. “Marin, fuck!”

A knock on the door startled him from his work.

“Caspian, did you call me?”

“No. You go back to bed.” Caspian did his best to sound normal.

“Are you okay in there?” Marin asked.

“Yes. I’m fine.” He choked out the words as he removed his fingers from his arse, the movement brushing his prostate one final time.

“Are you sure?”

Caspian cleaned himself with a thought and pulled on a robe. Once he was certain he was presentable, he opened the door. Marin stood outside, a concerned frown on his face.

“As you can see, there’s nothing wrong.” Caspian shrugged and tried not to look as though he’d just been caught pleasuring himself to thoughts of his guest.

Marin took him at his word and returned to the guest room.

Caspian sighed and closed his door once more. What in the name of Atlantis am I going to do about this? He couldn’t throw Marin out to fend for himself. He had offered him a home for as long as he wanted it. Yet the longer they remained in close quarters, the harder it became to ignore his growing feelings.