Sophia
For me, love triangles were always the ultimate fantasy. From Casablanca to Twilight, what could be better than having two amazing guys vying for your affections? I saw myself as the studious Rory Gilmore, caught between the smouldering Jess and the devoted Dean.
Turns out the real-life version of a love triangle—now happening in my little Prius—wasn’t fun at all. I would have preferred not to have to deal with Elliott at all. He used my family’s affection for him to slither back into my life tonight, and that only made me dislike him more.
As my pretend date, Henry called shotgun and was sitting beside me. He looked relaxed and almost amused at the whole situation. That was another way that this love triangle sucked; Henry wasn’t here because he wanted me, he was just looking out for me. Each time I saw him, he had to rescue me. What a terrific impression I was making.
“Is this some kind of scheme to make me jealous?” Elliott asked from the back seat.
Henry turned around. “I don’t see how it could be, seeing as we had no idea you were going to crash Sunday dinner. You’re the one messing up our evening.”
“This is so unlike you, Sophia,” Elliott said.
“Maybe you don’t know her as well as you think,” Henry replied. I signalled a turn and did an inward jig. Maybe I could just drive while these two duked it out.
“You didn’t waste any time moving in on my girlfriend,” Elliott said.
“Your ex-girlfriend.” Henry’s expression could only be described as an evil grin.
“Oh, dinner at her mother’s house. You indie rock musicians really know how to woo with style. What’s for dessert? You try to seduce Sophia with a saccharine love song you claim to have written for her?”
Since I couldn’t close my eyes, I squeezed the steering wheel harder. “Elliott, just stop.”
“Didn’t take you long to replace me, did it? Or did you already have him lined up?” he continued.
“Okay, let’s get something clear here. Henry and I are not going out. He’s my good friend. A friend who knows exactly what you did Friday and why we broke up.”
Elliott sniffed. “That’s good news. You do know that musicians are famously promiscuous. If you’re even going to hang out with him, you should get a full medical—”
“Enough,” I interrupted him. “Why don’t you say whatever you wanted to say to me so we can get it over with.”
“Yeah,” Henry agreed. “Because speaking of promiscuous, there’s only one guy in this car who’s ever cheated on his girlfriend.”
“You’re not helping,” I muttered to Henry. Again, I readjusted my opinion on love triangles; Rory Gilmore never had to deal with STD taunts.
“This would be a lot better if we were alone,” Elliott protested.
“Well, we’re not going to be alone. I don’t even want to talk to you. What you did was unforgivable.”
I could see Elliott scowling in the rearview mirror. Even his facial expression looked phony to me, as if he was trying to find a balance between upset, penitent, and hot.
“Well, if this is the only way I can talk to you,” he said as if I had imposed some huge hurdle for him to climb. “Sophia, I don’t want to throw away everything we have over one silly incident.”
I interrupted, “It’s not silly. Fidelity is important to me.”
Henry nodded like a bobblehead. Well, he had experienced something similar.
“With one tiny exception, I have been faithful to you. What you and I have is very special. You’re the kind of woman a man gets serious about. We have the same values—”
Henry coughed loudly, so Elliott had to wait to finish. “And the truth is... I wasn’t myself on Friday.”
“That could only be good from what I’ve seen,” said Henry. Honestly, this was more like being a referee than an object of male desire.
Elliott leaned forward until his shoulder was touching mine, he was ignoring Henry completely. “I’m so sorry. I had a really shit week at work, so I did a little molly to relax. I wasn’t thinking straight when Nettie came on to me.”
Henry snorted.
I moved away from Elliott’s touch. “How is that an excuse? I had a terrible day at work—possibly my worst day ever. I told you that when you came to pick me up. But you were the one who insisted on going to the party. Also, did you do drugs before or after you drove us to the party?” In his Tesla, going way too fast.
“After.” But his answer came so quickly I suspected he was lying.
“I can’t believe anything you say anymore.” I glanced back at him. Elliott was now wearing his deeply concerned expression. “Besides, you cancelled dates and complained about my busy schedule. In fact, I’m really surprised that you’re trying to get back together.”
“What we have is different.” Elliott glared at Henry. “Look, after all our time together, at least I deserve some time—alone with you—to discuss this.”
Henry shot me a look, like “Do you want me to take this?”
I shook my head.
“No, Elliott. You’re acting like you’re the injured party here. You messed up. You shouldn’t have come tonight. I’m not a person who plays games.”
“This isn’t a game. It’s about us. We fit together so well. Our families too. You could see that tonight, and my family loves you.”
Click. Suddenly all the puzzle pieces fell into place. Elliott’s dad was the benevolent ruler of his clan. Larry Kimura had built up a business of trade partnerships with Japanese companies into the family fortune. Elliott had a good job, but he also depended on his father’s generosity for many of the perks in his life. And Larry did like me—a nice Japanese Canadian girl with a good career. From what I’d pieced together, Elliott’s previous love life had been a little shady. Maybe he’d gotten an earful when he said we had broken up.
Watching me clue in, Elliott backtracked. “It’s not just about my family. It’s about us and everything we have together.”
I pulled up in front of his swanky condo building and put the car in park.
“I’ll just be a sec,” I said to Henry and got out.
Elliott and I walked up to his front lobby. He tried to put his arm around me, but I brushed him away. My tummy flipped with nervous queasiness, but I tried to act calm. “Look, I listened to everything you said in the car. But whatever reasons you have for us getting back together, they’re not going to work. I don’t trust you anymore—and I’m not going to keep going out with someone I don’t trust.”
Elliott scratched the back of his head and frowned. It was the signal that he was concentrating hard, and I used to find it boyish and adorable. Now I found it lame. Could he not think without physical tics?
“Sophia, I’m not trying to blame you or anything, because I realize this was all on me, but sometimes—you gave me the feeling that you really didn’t care that much about me.”
“What?” I was too surprised to make a more coherent reply.
“Well, like if I had to cancel because I was working, you never got upset. It was as if you didn’t care if I was there or not.”
“That’s crazy. Of course, I was disappointed. But if you had to work, I wasn’t going to guilt you out about it. I hate it when people do that to me.”
He frowned. “Also, you’re not a very warm or affectionate person. You know, when it comes to PDA and stuff like that.”
Elliott’s reasoning process was bizarre. Sophia didn’t hold my hand in public enough, so I get to cheat on her. Was he going to call me frigid next? I had a very healthy sex drive—even if I didn’t express it exactly the way he wanted.
The worst part of this discussion was that I could tell that Elliott wasn’t trying to be cruel or make excuses; he was genuinely trying to communicate. But before he could enumerate any more of my girlfriend flaws, I returned to the main issue. “Look, I’m sorry, I had no idea. But if we had problems, how are they fixed by getting a BJ in the bathroom while I’m right outside?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I realize how dumb that was. But Nettie was dressed as an assassin, and she made a joke about how we both matched. It only reminded me how you refused to wear couples’ costumes and instead wore that stupid kid’s outfit.”
“You need to stop blaming this on me,” I hissed. “Maybe you’re worried about your father’s reaction to our breaking up, but it’s too late.”
In the darkness it was hard to see Elliott’s expression, but his posture looked more resigned than angry.
“It’s not about my dad. I really care about you, Sophia. I thought we were in love.”
More proof that I didn’t know what true love was. We had said those words to each other. But had we really been in love if I could leave him so easily?
He raised his head and looked behind me. “But you don’t care, you’ve already got my replacement lined up. You’ve always had a thing for that dumb band, and now I get why.”
How was I feeling guilty about our breakup? This was ridiculous.
“Stop with the pity party. I told you that Henry and I are friends—that’s all. I’ve known him since we were kids. He’s sticking up for me because he’s loyal.” And because he saw exactly how pitiful I was the other night.
I looked up at Elliott’s face in the half-light of the building. His handsomeness was negated by his shallow nature. How sad that someone I had cared about only two days ago was now nothing to me. “It’s over between us, Elliott. I’m sorry if I wasn’t the girlfriend you wanted, but that’s just another reason not to get back together.”
I turned and walked away. But with each step, a bit of confidence leaked out of me. It was easier to handle our breakup when I was completely in the right. Now Elliott had made me see that I needed to wear some of the blame too.
Henry was leaning against the front hood. Of course, he was, he hated being cooped up inside.
I wanted Henry to hug me and tell me everything would be okay. I wanted to dive into his arms and bury my face against the worn ribbing of his shirt. And maybe he could reassure me that I was still a warm and attractive woman.
But that wasn’t the kind of relationship we had now. Henry was almost a stranger. Maybe he even had a girlfriend.
So, I tried to forget all the criticism Elliott had laid on me. Instead, I jingled my keys.
“You ready to hit the road?” I said.
Henry peered through the dim light. “Yeah. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” That was what I always said.