Shay
When Rosa walks into the living room in white flannel pajamas that mostly cover her from head to toe, I’m not only disappointed but oddly fascinated.
“Shay?” She rubs the sleep out of her eyes as she draws closer.
I can’t blame the poor thing for being tired after the number Colin and I did on her body yesterday.
“Morning, petal.”
“Morning.” She yawns, walking over to the kitchen to grab some coffee.
“Don’t I get a kiss good morning?”
She crosses her eyes at me but blushes all the same.
“It’s too early for your teasing,” she says between yawns.
I wasn’t teasing.
She could be wearing a potato sack over her head and I’d still want to kiss her stupid first thing in the morning.
But saying such things will only get her and me in trouble.
For all I know, Tiernan has his apartment bugged just to make sure no one touches his prized possession when he’s not around.
Fucker.
After she’s filled a mug full of her daily dose of caffeine, she walks over to the couch and sits right beside me.
“Where’s Colin? Isn’t he supposed to be babysitting me today?”
“Nope,” I pop the p at the end. “I got you all to myself for the day.” I nudge her shoulder playfully with mine.
“Isn’t there an off switch with you?” she mumbles in between sips and then melts into the cushion, a sign of how tired she really is.
If she only gave me the chance, I could perk her right up with my tongue. I quickly shake that thought away before I do something stupid and place her on my lap so I can show just how.
On second thought…
“Hey!” she squeals, almost spilling her coffee all over us as I plant her ass on me. “What do you think you are doing?”
“Just wanted to check something out. Give me a minute.”
She’s stiff as a board, holding on to her mug for dear life, as I run my fingers through her hair and nuzzle my nose into the crook of her neck.
“Shay?” she stammers, unsure of what to do.
“Ten more seconds,” I whisper in her ear, before planting a gentle kiss behind it.
My cock swells in excitement when a light shiver runs down her spine after the kiss.
But before I’m able to get comfortable and really test the waters of her restraint, the apartment elevator dings open, Darren walking through it like a man on a mission.
I knew it.
“Yes?” I ask with a blasé tone while making a point to gently brush Rosa’s long hair off her shoulder so I can pop my chin on it.
Darren clears his throat and pretends to look everywhere around the apartment but directly at us.
“Boss wants to talk to you,” he mutters, handing me his cell phone, trying hard as fuck not to look at his Boss’ wife on my lap.
“He couldn’t have reached out to my phone instead of yours?” I cock a smug grin.
“He knew you were… busy.”
Of course, he did.
I discreetly scan the living room, trying to find the camera he must have hidden away somewhere. When I find the minuscule blinking red light just above the television set, I throw my dear old brother a wave, before planting my hand on Rosa’s thigh and giving it a squeeze.
“Having fun?” Tiernan asks on the other end of the line, his voice as dry as the Sahara.
“Not as much fun as I could be having. If you call off your dogs and turn off all your little gadgets, then I’m sure I’ll have plenty of fun. Oh. That’s right, I forgot. You like to watch.”
“Funny,” he says, but no one is laughing. “Didn’t I give you a job to do this morning?”
“You did.” I grin.
“Then I suggest you do it.”
“I’m in no rush,” I taunt, running a finger up and down Rosa’s thigh, while using my other arm to hold her still by the waist.
The line goes silent for a minute before my brother’s cold hard voice returns.
“Remember when you were little, and I let you play with my toys?”
“I do.”
“Those days are long gone.”
I roll my eyes at his lackluster and uninspired remark.
“Be careful, dheartháir . You can look, but you can’t touch. Not without my say so. If you do, then you force me to take something from you.”
“I don’t have anything worth having. You’re the one who has it all, remember?” I shrug, unbothered.
“I can think of a few things you’d miss. It would be awfully hard to use those blades you love so much when you don’t have hands. Touch my wife without my consent again, and I’ll make sure you’ll never touch anything ever again. Tuig ?”
And with that threat dangling on the line, he hangs up.
Prick.
“Sorry, petal. Playtime is over,” I mumble, shifting her lovely ass off my semi so it’s firmly planted safely on the couch.
Rosa doesn’t miss a beat and rushes to the kitchen, putting as much distance between us as she can. Since she was basically glued to my body, I’m sure she heard everything my killjoy of a brother had said on the phone.
“Here,” I grumble, throwing the phone back to Darren.
He catches it in one go, throws me a disappointed glower, and leaves.
When the elevator doors ding shut, Rosa comes out of her spot, her gaze scouring the room.
“He can see us, can’t he?” she asks sullenly.
“Yep.” I point to the hidden camera right in front of me. “That’s just one of them. I’m sure he has more eyes on you everywhere around the apartment.”
“On me?” she questions, surprised.
I turn over on the couch to stare at her.
“Who do you think he has the cameras for?”
“I don’t know. To see if anyone got into his place without him knowing. A burglar, perhaps.”
I chuckle.
“Trust me, petal. Before you came along, Tiernan didn’t have anything valuable enough to him in this whole damn place that anyone would even want to steal. Now he does. I bet he only got these little gadgets when he made up his mind to bring you here.”
Her forehead wrinkles as if doubting my words.
“You don’t believe me?”
She shakes her head.
“Why not?”
“Because that would imply that he cares. Tiernan doesn’t.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” I mumble, disheartened, taking all of her in. “It’s hard not to care about you, petal. Trust me.”
I’m trying really hard not to, and it’s becoming fucking impossible.
“That’s sweet of you to say, Shay. But I know my worth in my husband’s eyes.”
I don’t know what troubles me more—the fact she thinks a killer like me is sweet or the way Tiernan is chipping away at her heart.
I can see it as clear as day in her big brown eyes.
She wants him to care.
Needs him to.
And why that is unsettles me more than I want it to.
“Enough of the downer talk about my brother,” I say, hoping the smile on my face fools her. “We have a lot of shit to do today and we’re burning daylight as it is. Have your breakfast, and then get dressed so we can leave this joint.”
“Where are we going?” she asks, a tinge of excitement in her voice now that she knows she has the green light to leave the apartment.
Again I’m reminded how my brother is a total dick and has not been treating his new bride right.
“You and I are going shopping.”
“Shopping?” She laughs as if it’s the most absurd thing she could be doing with her time.
“We have to find you a house for you and all your babies, remember? Chop, chop, petal. Let’s go find you a real home to live in.”
And just like that, her smile is a mile wide, making the organ in my chest flip of its own accord.
Shit.
I’m so far gone it’s not even funny anymore.
The real estate agent’s eyes light up when Rosa and I get out of my Aston Martin and start walking up to the gate of the home she’s going to show us this morning. I guess if I was in her shoes, I would be, too. I mean, just from the outside of the estate, I can tell this home has a large price tag on it. A cool thirty million at least. Which means her commission for the sale will make her year, if not her decade.
“Wow,” Rosa mutters below her breath. “This place is… just… wow.”
“Can I pick ‘em, or can I pick ‘em?” I tease with a wink.
“You found this house?” she asks with genuine surprise.
“Hey, just because I live with my parents doesn’t mean I don’t like to dream about other places to live.”
“I didn’t think made men dreamed about anything aside from slaughtering their enemies.”
“What can I say? I’m a enigma.”
“Yes, I’m starting to see that.” She smiles at me, making my insides turn to goo.
Shit.
When did I get so pussy-whipped?
The next thing you know, I’ll end up like one of those teenage girls who spend their days flipping through their diary, writing fanfiction about Shawn Mendes or some other teenage heartthrob.
I swear this woman’s smiles are making me stupid.
“Too bad Colin couldn’t come with us today. I think he would really enjoy this front garden.”
I don’t touch that remark with a ten-foot pole.
Colin is going to need some time to get his head on right.
If I thought fucking Rosa only once was doing my head in, then Colin was currently having an even harder time compartmentalizing the need he has to fulfill his duty to his Boss and the way he wants to steal this Spanish rose right out from under him.
I’ve never seen the big guy so out of it.
But then again, it must be overwhelming for the tinman to suddenly be burdened with a heart and feelings and shit.
I sure as hell am having a tough go of it.
“Mr. and Mrs. Kelly, I presume? My name is Morgan Tracy, and I’m about to show you your brand new home,” the real estate agent beams self-assuredly.
I take her confusing me with my brother as a cue from God himself to play a little trick on her while also using it as an excuse to touch Rosa and not get slapped for it. I wrap my arms around Rosa’s waist from behind, making her stiffen in my embrace while I shower the agent with my best cocky grin.
“Now, just hold up there, Morgan. My wife and I have many more houses to see today. You don’t expect us to fall in love with the first one we go to, do you?”
Her head falls back in laughter.
“How about we take a tour, and then you can tell me if you don’t love it? I will have to warn you, though. I have more clients lined up today to have the same tour. This home has only been on the market for less than a week and is in high demand. I wouldn’t be surprised if I got a few offers before the day’s end.”
“I’m not worried. In fact, play your cards right, and you might just get an offer from us higher than the asking price. I’m sure that the number I’m thinking would blow the competition out of the water. If my wife says this is the home she wants, then this is the home she gets. Money is no object.”
“A man who knows what he wants. Your wife is one lucky lady,” Morgan coos, her hungry eyes scanning me from top to bottom with a newfound appreciation now that she knows how deep my pockets are.
“Yes, I am,” Rosa chimes in, throwing daggers at the agent, not one bit impressed this woman is brazenly flirting with her fake husband.
I tilt Rosa’s chin to the side and gently caress her face.
“As am I,” I whisper, placing a small kiss to the tip of her nose.
Her gaze turns soft, and her body begins to melt into my embrace, almost as if she’s forgotten that this is just a game and that I’m not really her husband.
If only I were.
I would treat her like the fucking queen she is.
Not a whore to be passed around between my men.
When the real estate agent clears her throat, it’s enough to break the little spell Rosa and I were momentarily under.
“How about I show you around then?”
Rosa pulls away from my embrace and offers the woman a thin smile.
“Yes. Please.”
“Very well, let’s go in.”
For the next half hour, Morgan shows us around the large estate, talking about original crown molding and marble kitchen counters that came all the way from Italy. I zone her out for most of her babble and focus on the siren that gracefully walks around each room, completely spellbound by the home. The way her body moves and glides around every room makes me feel like I’m watching a beautiful dance taking place right in front of my eyes. And when we go upstairs so Morgan can show us the nursery, that’s when Rosa really swoons and shines.
“This home is perfect to raise a family. A large one at that,” Tracy adds when she sees how in love with the room Rosa is. “Are you expecting?”
“I’m not sure yet. But hopefully I will be soon,” Rosa explains, still eyeing the room like it’s some fairytale wonderland she just stepped inside.
“How about I leave you and your husband for a few minutes so you can fully appreciate the room? Maybe even talk about making that offer we discussed earlier?” Morgan adds shamelessly.
After the infuriating woman leaves us alone, I stare at my brother’s wife, wondering if my suspicions about her wanting a baby so bad are on the mark.
“Can I ask you a question?”
She hums absentmindedly, enthralled with her surroundings as if picturing in her mind where she would put the crib or bassinet. I bet she even has the color scheme down to a T.
“Why do you want a baby so bad? I mean, is this degradation Tiernan is putting you through really worth it?”
She chews on my question and then breathes out a yes.
“Why?”
“You want the truth?”
I nod.
“At first I thought a baby would be the ticket to my freedom. That maybe by having a child, I would gain Tiernan’s respect. That he would allow me to live in a home like this one to raise his children and let me have a life of my own without too much of his interference or presence.”
She sighs.
“But I was lying to myself, Shay. I now know the real reason why I want a baby so much. I need love in my life. Unconditional and pure,” she explains, looking straight at me, ensuring she kills me with the sadness mixed with hope in her eyes.
“When I left my home to move here, I knew all that was waiting for me was a life full of hatred and resentment. I can’t live like that, Shay. I need to love something, someone, and be loved in return. Having a baby from my body, from my blood, will ensure that at least I’ll have one pure thing in my life. Someone I can be totally devoted to, and who, in turn, will love me back with all their heart. The closest I’ve ever come to that type of love was the affection I felt for my baby brother, Francesco.”
“If you think a baby is the answer to your loneliness, you’re wrong.”
“Not to my loneliness. But to my aching heart. My baby will be a vessel to receive all the love I have to give. And I have so much of it inside me, Shay. So much. It’s almost stifling how much of it I have dwelling inside my chest, begging to be set free.”
“I can see that.”
She lowers her gaze from mine, embarrassed by her confession. As if it’s completely mortifying to admit she needs love in her marriage to a man who has spent most of his with blood pouring down his hands—if it was even possible a man like me could relate to or even fathom such a need.
But I understand perfectly.
Until her, I might not have known the first thing about love, but the more time I spend with her, the more I begin to have a sense of the feeling. And it’s not just because I want to play with her body until she screams out my name. It’s also because the small insights she’s given me into her heart threaten the sanity of my own.
I eat up the small distance between us, pick up her chin with my knuckles, and stare into her eyes.
“You can love me, petal,” I hear myself say, shocked that I mean every word.
Her eyelashes flutter a mile a minute, not knowing what to say. But before she has time to say anything, I press my lips against hers in the chastest kiss I can muster.
“You can love me. And if you want, I can love you right back.”
Her gaze remains on me as her shallow breathing kisses my cheeks.
We just stand there, staring at one another, unsure of what to say next.
When the persistent agent returns, I almost let out an exhale of gratitude, thankful she wants this sale so badly. Bad enough that she would disturb what undoubtedly looked like a very intimate moment between man and wife.
“Shall I show you the back gardens now, or would you prefer to see the large entertaining area up on the roof?”
“The roof will be fine.” Rosa doesn’t say anything more than that and follows the agent out of the room, leaving me to stew in my own fucking torment.
Another hour passes before we are saying our goodbyes to Morgan, telling her to expect a phone call from us soon. I’m almost disappointed that Rosa loved the house so much. If she hadn’t, then I would still have an excuse to see her every day. I doubt Tiernan will let me get close to her again alone. Not after the little stunt I pulled this morning.
Sometimes I’m my own worst enemy.
“Shay! Rosa!” I hear a familiar voice call out to us.
My smile is immediate when I see my Ma push a sullen Darren out of her way so she can walk over to us. I chuckle when I see he’s still pissed that I ordered him to stay back in his SUV with his other goons while Rosa and I went inside.
“I was coming from the market when I saw your car parked out front. Had to see what my wicked lad was up to.”
My mother laughs, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me by the hem of my t-shirt so I can bend down and let her kiss my cheek.
“And I see whatever mischief you got going on, you decided to recruit your brother’s wife, too.” She smiles, patting Rosa’s cheeks lovingly.
While Tiernan has always been glued to Athair’s hip since he was a toddler, I’ve always been more of a momma’s boy myself. Sure, I can crack a joke at the spin of a hat like my Da and have everyone busting a gut, but it’s when I flip the switch and leave them in stitches with my knife that people truly see the resemblance between us and say that I’m more like my father than most of his other sons. True as that may be, I’ve always had a softer spot for my Máthair .
Saoirse Kelly doesn’t have one mean bone in her. She’d take in any stray, feed it and give it a home, even if everyone around her told her that the damn thing would end up using its sharp fangs to bite her for her troubles. I guess I’ve always been a sucker for women with soft hearts and kind eyes. It sure would explain my inconvenient feelings for my brother’s wife.
“So? Are you going to tell me what you two are doing here, or do I have to guess?”
“Shay and I were just house hunting, Mrs. Kelly. Tiernan has offered to buy me a home as a wedding present,” Rosa lies with a straight face.
But then again, I can’t fault her for not wanting to tell my Ma the truth about how Tiernan negotiated the home to be included in their disfunctional and fucked-up arrangement.
“Now, lass, what did I tell you about being so formal with me? Call me Saoirse. Or better yet, call me Ma or Máthair since you’re my daughter now.”
See?
Biggest heart this side of Boston you’ll ever encounter.
My mother looks at the house behind us and gives Rosa a genuine smile.
“I think my Tiernan might be a little sweet on ye if he’s gonna buy you that huge mansion of a house. Probably has some ideas on how to fill up all those empty rooms, too. You’ll be walking around barefoot and pregnant in no time, by the looks of it. Can’t say I’m too upset about being a seanmháthair soon, either. I sure do miss the smell of a baby’s head and nibbling on their chubby legs. It’s when they grow up that they become a real nuisance.” Ma tilts her head over at me.
“Hardy har har.” I laugh.
Rosa doesn’t say a word, too tongue-tied to pull one out of her mouth with how my Ma is going on and on about babies.
“Are you going to see some more next, or do you have time for an early lunch? I’m making my famous Irish stew.”
“I could eat. What about you, petal? In the mood for some home cooking?”
Rosa doesn’t even have enough time to nod her consent before my Ma laces her arms through hers and pulls her in the direction of our house just two blocks away.
An hour later, Ma has Rosa crouched over the sink, peeling potatoes, while she goes on and on about how much of a hassle her children were growing up. Rosa laughs at all of Ma’s witty anecdotes while I lean back in my chair, hands behind my head, watching the two women bond in utter awe.
It’s only when I laugh a little too loudly at a certain memory my Ma is reminiscing about, how Tiernan used to let Iris piggyback ride him, while she yelled for him to go faster and make horse noises just because Athair refused to buy her a pony for her fourth birthday, that both women stop what they’re doing and look over their shoulder at me.
“Aye, ye think that’s funny, do ye? How about you get off that arse of yours and start working for your supper? Set the table at least, lad. Don’t you know that idle hands are the devil’s workshop? Get moving, Shay, before I get my wooden spoon and show Rosa here how I got you to do your chores.”
I jump out of my seat and wrap my arms around my Ma’s waist, kissing the side of her cheek repeatedly until she is puffing for air with how much she’s giggling.
“Joke’s on you, Ma. I always wore more than one set of boxers just in case that wooden spoon ever got out of its drawer.”
“Get off me, lad.” Ma continues to giggle, slapping my hands away.
“Aye. I was going to run upstairs and get a quick shower before lunch anyway. You know what they say, cleanliness is next to godliness.” I wink, walking backwards to the door to make my great escape.
“You see that, lass? That’s the face of the cheeky devil I was telling ye about. Only knows scriptures when it suits him. He would sweet-talk Saint Brigid herself if he thought he could get away with it.”
“I can see that,” Rosa mumbles, her brown eyes turning the same molten hue they did yesterday when her pussy was strangling my cock.
Great.
Not only do I need a shower, now I’ll have to beat my cock into submission, too.
Who am I kidding?
My excuse for taking a shower before lunch was so I could jerk one off anyway. Just knowing she’s so close that I can almost taste her is doing a number on my restraint.
I make a mad dash upstairs, lock myself in my room, and sure enough, five minutes later I’m cumming in my hand with the fantasy of Rosa’s soft lips around my dick. After that, my shower loses all its appeal, and I hurry just to wash the evidence of my weak will off my body, dress up, and hurry downstairs.
I’m just about to close the door to my bedroom when I feel Rosa’s presence in the hallway.
“Hey, petal. What are you doing up here?”
“Your mother told me to fetch you. She wants you to get some red wine from the cellar. Is that your room?” she asks, pointing to where I just left.
“It is. Want me to give you a tour?” I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively.
“I thought it was that one,” she dismisses my poor attempt at getting her alone and points to the bedroom door everyone in this family avoids even looking at.
“That’s Patrick’s,” I mumble, shoving my hands in my jeans pockets.
“Patrick,” she repeats the name, rolling it on her tongue like it’s some secret she should avoid saying out loud.
She’s not that far off.
“Your mom was just talking about him after you left.”
Of course, she was.
Leave it to Ma to only talk about her dead son when neither of her children or Athair can hear her do it.
Rosa takes a step closer to his bedroom door but doesn’t make any move to open it. It’s almost as if she knows that inside all that exists is pain and misery. I bridge the gap between us until I’m standing at her side.
“And what exactly did my mother tell you about him?”
“For one, she said he wasn’t nearly as adventurous as the rest of you. She said he preferred books to climbing trees and riding bikes.”
I let out a sullen sigh.
“Aye, that he did. You would have liked him. He had a kind heart like Ma, too—like you do.”
She turns her head my way, sadness coloring those gorgeous eyes that have seen their own share of suffering.
“But Patrick was too sensitive to survive the kind of life we lead. Too frail. He felt other people’s pain like he was the one who had been wounded.”
“An empath,” she whispers the word like it’s a curse, and in our world, it is. “He’s dead, isn’t he?”
I nod, my shoulders instantly slumping.
“Did I… I mean, did we… I mean,” she struggles to say. “Did my family have anything to do with his death?
“Oh, petal,” I whisper lovingly, cradling her cheek with my palm. “Best leave ghosts where they belong and can’t do you any harm, aye? Life is for the living. It shouldn’t be wasted on the dead. They are at peace now. Can we say the same?”
Her eyes lower from mine, suddenly unable to look me in the eye.
“Shay… about what you said earlier… back in the nursery…”
I shake my head to silence her protest.
“I meant every word, petal. You don’t need a baby to love. I can love you.” Because as unexpected as it is, I think I already do. “You just have to let me. It’s your choice.”
“Tiernan could kill you if he knew you were talking to me like this,” she warns, and I hear the flicker of fear in her voice.
“Let him try.”
Just let the fucker try.