Louise was in the orphanage kitchen watching the first perks of the light-brown coffee she’d managed to wheedle out of the legation supplies spattering up against the glass at the top of the percolator’s central tube. It was meditative, watching the coffee get darker and darker until the aroma filled the room and she judged the coffee to be just right. When she was little, she used to watch the hot liquid slowly turn dark when she made coffee for her mom and dad on Sunday mornings, when they’d both sleep in. Sleep in, that is, until she would proudly come into their room with hot coffee to wake them up, usually around half past six. She smiled at the memory. There were probably mornings when they’d have happily shot their proud and smiling coffee-bearing child. But they always sat up in the bed and beamed with thanks as she handed them their cups.
The memory gave her comfort. She needed that comfort now. It was several hours after dark and no word from Pietari. So far, around five of his friends had found phones, calling in to say that their search had not been successful. Several speculated that they hadn’t heard from the rest of the group because of the difficulty in finding phones.
They’d all expected someone would have made contact with Arnie sometime during the day. Was he still even alive? Of course, he was. Then again—
Louise shrugged off the thought and poured three cups of coffee, walking them into Kaarina’s office, where Kaarina and Natalya were sorting through ticket stubs and money. Kaarina was beaming. They’d passed the breakeven of five hundred ticket sales to cover the prize money a couple of days earlier. Now, every markka was going to the orphanage. Louise set a cup down before each of them. She noticed that Natalya was not beaming but despondently going through the motions of counting stubs, recording names, looking numb.
Louise put a cup in front of Natalya, setting two sugar cubes on the saucer, thinking she couldn’t bear giving her three, which she knew Natalya would probably prefer. Once, she almost said something about how Natalya could rot her teeth but caught herself. Now that she knew Natalya better, she had become aware of how Natalya only smiled with closed lips. Natalya had dozed off once, her mouth open, and Louise saw why. Her mouth was full of crude fillings. Several teeth were missing, and the remaining ones had an unhealthy dark look to them.
Natalya nodded, showing a small polite smile that quickly faded. Louise glanced at Kaarina. Kaarina returned the glance, acknowledging she, too, could see something was amiss with Natalya and quickly looked back down at the money.
Louise sat at the end of the table and started going through her own pile. No one spoke.
Finally, Louise had to say something. “Are you sure the telephones are working?”
Kaarina nodded. “Yoh.”
More silence.
“Don’t worry. He’ll call,” Kaarina said. “He’s reliable.”
“About calling,” Louise said.
“Yoh.”
They all knew the issue wasn’t whether Pietari would call but whether he’d even found Arnie.
After more silent counting, Kaarina stood, stretched, and walked out of the room.
Louise put both of her hands on the table and looked directly at Natalya.
Natalya stopped counting. “What?”
“He’ll find him. I just know he will.”
“Know or hope?”
“Know,” Louise said, perhaps more emphatically than she felt. Her father had told her, and Arnie had confirmed it more than once, that a leader never shows anything but optimism.
Natalya didn’t seem to be reacting at all to the discussion about the hoped-for telephone call. Louise could see that Natalya’s eyes were bloodshot and red, probably from lack of sleep—or crying? The numbness, the vacant nobody’s-at-home stare. It was like Natalya’s body was here but not Natalya.
Then Louise realized, Natalya must have done it. “Oh, Natalya …” Louise said.
Natalya looked away from Louise, lips tight. Then she looked down at her hands on her lap.
“I am so, so sorry,” Louise whispered.
Still unable to look at Louise, she looked up at the ceiling.
There was an awkward and long silence.
Then Louise said softly, “I think you’re the bravest woman I’ve ever met.”
The two sat there, silently, two women against the gods.
Kaarina came through the door. Louise quickly said aloud, “He’ll find him. I know he will.”
Natalya regained control of herself and began arranging papers on the table.
Kaarina looked at them, her eyes moving from one face to the other and back and then proceeded to her chair to resume work saying nothing.
A tense hour went by.
Then, the phone rang. It was as if the room were being cut in two. All three stopped breathing.
Kaarina answered the phone.
“Yoh.” Silence. “Yoh. Se on hyvää.”
She hung up and looked at the two women without expression. “Pietari found him.”
Louise jumped to her feet, clapping her hands. “Yes, yes, yes. Thank God. Praise God. Praise Pietari. Oh—” She looked at Natalya.
Natalya sat there, stunned. She looked up at Louise. Her eyes were blank, her mouth slightly open. “Pour rien,” she whispered. “Pour rien.”