“WHAT-IF” WASN’T A GAME Rachel liked to play. It hurt too much. But tonight, if James hadn’t been there with his CPR skills, a man might have died.
The radio and the Goat’s engine fell silent as James shut off the ignition. He removed the keys and held them out to her. “Thanks for letting me drive.”
“I wasn’t in any shape, and we both know it.”
“You let me drive to the restaurant, too.”
She shrugged. “I thought you’d enjoy it.” Bending down, she retrieved her purse from beneath the seat, then climbed from the car. Wordlessly, they worked together to put the convertible’s top up.
James circled around the car to her side. “Rachel, I’m sorry things didn’t go better. Not exactly what I had in mind for our date.”
“Me, neither.” She tipped her head back and looked up at him. “But the night’s not over yet. I was thinking about taking a walk down by the lake. Would you like to come?”
His fingers brushed over her hair. “Yes, I would.”
“Okay. Just let me get some things.” She opened the trunk. An old comforter—one she and Daniel had often used for picnics—and a flashlight lay in the corner. Rachel pulled them out, clicking the light on. “I found a wonderful place. Follow me, but watch your step. There are a lot of rocks and roots in the path.”
The moon added its glow, filtering down through the gently swaying trees. Weeds and tall grass covered what had once been a viable path; low shrubs encroached along the edges. Rachel picked her way along the route.
It led to a small, manmade beach along a secluded cove, tucked away from the main part of the lake. Rachel loved the spot and had come here several times. “Here we are.” She spread out the comforter on the sand, then sank down on it. “What do you think?”
James lowered himself beside her. “How did you find this? It’s great.”
“On one of my early-morning walks.” She tipped her head back. “Just look at all those stars.”
James shifted until he sat behind her, his legs surrounding hers, arms enfolding her waist. “How’s that?”
With a contented sigh, she relaxed, molding her body against his, allowing her head to rest against his shoulder. “It’s nice,” she murmured. “Very nice.”
“Mmm, I think so, too.”
The companionable silence was broken only by the occasional throaty love song of a frog and the ripples of the nearby water. A balmy breeze gently fanned her loose hair. Rachel snuggled deeper into the warmth of the man who held her so tenderly.
Fireflies flickered in the shrubs and grasses surrounding their private spot. “Molly would have a field day with all these fireflies,” she said.
“Probably.” James nuzzled her hair.
“They’re like echoes of the stars.” Rachel tipped her head again and studied the heavens. “Doesn’t nature make you feel small and insignificant?”
“Small and insignificant? Not really. Awestruck at the vastness of it all, maybe. Is that the same as feeling small?”
She said nothing for several moments as the lake lapped gently along the shore.
“I realized something tonight,” she said finally.
“What’s that?”
“Life’s short. It’s just a blip in the grand scheme of things.” Her hand swept across the air. “Just a blip. I realized that if there are things you want in life, you shouldn’t put them off, you should go ahead and do them. I mean, Daniel,” she sighed, “Daniel wanted to get on a big yellow school bus and go to kindergarten. There’s no way I could have speeded that up for him. But take Henry and Rosemary. Maybe they’ve always wanted to go to Europe but kept putting it off. Tonight, they almost ran out of chances.”
He cupped her face with his hand, thumb lightly caressing her cheekbone. “And what is it you want before you run out of chances, sweet Rachel?”
Heat rose beneath the skin he stroked, spreading across her face and down her body. She swallowed hard, then took the plunge. “You,” she whispered. “I want you.”
His thumb stilled on her face. He closed his eyes. “Rachel, I…”
A sharp pain radiated across her chest, into her stomach. Had she misread him earlier? “Don’t you feel the same way?”
His eyes flashed open. “I want you, Rachel. It’s just…”
“What?”
“I can’t promise you a future, and you deserve someone who can give you that kind of security.”
Her heart warmed and softened, a marshmallow over an open flame. “Oh, James. That’s the first time anyone has put my needs first.”
“And I mean it.” He dipped his head, barely brushing his lips over hers.
She closed her eyes and angled her head, waiting to feel his mouth on hers.
Suddenly his hand left her face. Startled, she opened her eyes to see him jump to his feet.
“James, wait!” She leapt up as well. “Don’t go.”
“Rachel, I’m sorry. But if I stay here, I’m going to do something you might regret in the morning.”
“Something like make love to me? Like I want you to?” She didn’t wait for his answer. Life was too short, and James was a very special man. She stepped close to him and flattened her palms against his chest. “I’m not asking for forever, James. I’m not even asking for tomorrow. I’m interested in right now, tonight. This moment may well be all we ever have, but I’m not willing to let it go by.” She slipped her hands between his elbows and torso, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Are you?”
He didn’t move.
She let her fingers explore the broad planes of his back. Could she seduce him? That was something else she’d never done. Throwing caution into the lake, she trailed her right hand lower, caressed the firm curve of his behind.
James inhaled sharply. His hips moved forward, pressing his erection against her belly. “Rachel…”
She lifted her fingers to his lips, lightly traced their outline. “Your mouth says no, but your body says yes.” She slipped her arm from around his waist and stepped back. “But, if you really don’t want to…”
She crossed to the center of the comforter, kicking off her sandals. Her fingers opened the top two buttons of her blouse.
“W-what are you doing?”
“Well, I’ve never gone skinny-dipping. And I think that’s one of those things that should definitely be experienced in life, don’t you?” Her fingers continued to work on the row of buttons as she talked.
The moonlight caressed her bare shoulders as she slowly lowered the garment. James wanted to be that moonbeam, sliding across her satiny skin. A lacy bra cupped her small breasts. She tossed the blouse to the edge of the comforter and lowered her hand to the button on her capris.
He had to remind himself to breathe.
The rasp of the zipper teeth echoed loudly in the little cove. She shimmied the tight denim over her hips, turning around to give him a full view of that perfect backside as the pants dropped to her feet.
“Oh, God.” A thong. The woman actually wore a tiny, sexy, satin thong. “Rachel.” He barely recognized his own voice, it was so raspy and thick.
She turned back to face him, a vision in moonlight and skimpy lingerie. “Something wrong?”
“Yeah. You take my breath away.”
She dipped her head, a shy smile on her lips.
Two quick strides brought him to her. He cradled her face in his hands. “You’re absolutely sure about this?”
She nodded.
He lowered his head and kissed her. Hard. Sweet butterscotch, warm woman… He slid his hands around her back, trailing down her smooth skin. The strings of her thong guided him lower, and he lightly ran his fingers over her curves. He tucked his hands around the silken flesh, pulled her against him.
Her tiny shudder and moan deepened his desire. He trailed kisses down her neck, lingering in the hollow of her throat.
Her hands pulled frantically at his shirt. “I want to feel you against me.”
He yanked it over his head and dropped it to the ground. “This, too,” he said, reaching behind her to struggle with the clasp of her bra. His out-of-practice fingers fumbled until the fabric gave way. He slid the straps down her arms and tossed the garment aside, too.
She pressed against him, the hard tips of her breasts igniting flames of desire.
He scooped her up and placed her on the blanket, propping himself on his elbow over her.
She folded her arms over her chest, a flicker of apprehension in her eyes.
“Don’t cover them, Rachel.” He gently moved her arms, watching her face carefully. “I want to look at you.”
She pressed her lips tightly together. “They’re…”
“Beautiful,” he pronounced. With one fingertip, he teased the nipple to attention.
“Small.” She gasped as he cupped her breast in his palm.
“Perfect. Good things come in small packages.”
“I’d like to know your reaction if I say that when you drop your pants.”
Laughter erupted from deep in his belly. “Aah, Rachel. You do make me feel young and foolish, like I haven’t a care in the world.” He leaned over to nibble on her earlobe, then whispered, “But I don’t think I’ll disappoint you.”
She smiled and caressed him through his jeans. “Me, neither.”
He groaned and grabbed her wrist in a viselike grip. “Honey, I’ve ached all night over you. It’s been such a long time for me, and all I want to do is bury myself deep inside you. You touch me like that and the fireworks will be over before we even get started.”
She flexed her fingers, teasing him with a light touch even while he still held her hand. “Really?”
His turn to gasp. “Really. Wicked…sexy… woman.”
“Only with you,” she whispered. “You make me feel that way.”
“Your husband was an idiot.”
She giggled and stroked him again.
He lowered his head and hesitated, his warm mouth poised just over her breast, just out of reach, teasing, tormenting. “Two can play like that.” He circled her nipple with the tip of his tongue, making her moan. “Why don’t you tell me the pleasurable image you pictured back in the restaurant? The one that made you flush so nicely and catch your breath?”
She ran her fingers through his hair. “Oh, uh, you’re on the right…right track.”
He lifted his head and grinned at her. “Really? Let me see if I can follow the track correctly.” He showered her body with kisses, starting between her breasts and trailing lower. She sucked in her breath when he kissed her navel, then circled it with his tongue, but stopped breathing completely when he probed just under the elastic of her thong. “Don’t hold your breath, Rachel. I don’t want you fainting again. It’s tough on the male ego during sex—unless you wait until your climax. Then, by all means, go ahead.” He winked. Grinning up at her from between her thighs, he placed his mouth gingerly on her panties.
Rachel felt scorching heat rocket through her. “You—you don’t have to…”
“No, I don’t have to. I want to. Lift up.”
She raised her hips and he peeled the thong from her body.
She clutched at the comforter when he began to lavish the attention of his mouth on her. Nimble fingers joined the game, leaving her panting when they teased and retreated.
She scrunched her eyes shut. He increased the pace of his actions until she finally exploded. “James!” She rode the strong climax that washed over her.
Eventually, she opened her eyes to find him blocking her view of the sky, a Cheshire cat grin on his face. “Pleasurable stimulus?”
She nodded, unable to speak.
“Good. Now that we’ve had the appetizer, how about the main course?” He pressed his lower body against hers, and she realized that he’d shed his pants. And shorts.
His naked arousal skimmed the juncture of her thighs, and panic overwhelmed her. “Wait! James, wait.” She shoved against his chest. “We can’t. Not without—”
“Easy, sweetheart. I know.” He reached to the side and held up a packet. “Not without this. Guaranteed fresh, okay? It hasn’t been on the shelf forever.”
Tears filled her eyes and she blinked them back. His consideration knew no bounds. How many men would remember her concern? She smiled, hoping her lips didn’t quiver. “Thank you.”
He caressed her body with his fingers and mouth, increasing her desire again. “Ready?” he murmured against her neck.
“Oh, yes. I want you inside me.”
He rolled away for only a moment, preparing himself, then he hovered over her. “Rachel, this might be a little fast, if so—”
“Shh. Don’t talk!” Hands around his butt, she urged him forward.
In one easy motion, he was inside her.
“Oh, sweet Rachel.”
She felt him struggle for control. He slid out, starting a slow tempo. His fingers slipped between their sweat-slicked bodies to caress her where they joined.
“Oh, James!”
“That’s it, Rachel. Come with me.”
As she let herself go, Rachel felt James launch himself with her. His elbow trembled with the exertion of holding himself over her. He kissed her thoroughly, then dropped down beside her, rolled onto his back, and gathered her into his arms.
Their ragged breathing slowly evened out, and the roaring in her ears gave way to the sounds of the night: the wind in the trees and the frog chorus. James tugged the edges of the comforter around them and nuzzled the top of her head. “That was incredible.”
“Mmm.” Her fingers traced lazy spirals on his stomach. “It sure was.”
Her naked body pressed against his, combined with the lemony scent of her skin, the fresh air. In the stillness he could hear the murmur of a nearby brook feeding into the lake. Blessed relaxation stole through his body, loosening every muscle, dissolving all the tension. “This beats a hammock any day,” he murmured.
“A hammock? You’ve done it in a hammock?”
He chuckled. “No, I mean for relaxing. I don’t think I’ve felt this good in…maybe never.”
“I’m glad.”
The comfortable silence enveloped them again. He kept stroking her hair. Though sated physically, he craved more. They’d been intimate, he’d been inside her body—and now he wanted to know everything about her. He longed to ask her about her son.
But he didn’t want to spoil the moment.
For either of them.
“James?”
“Mmm?”
“Tell me about Molly’s heart.”
The muscles behind his neck knotted. Apparently they’d been thinking along the same lines. “Molly’s heart? What brought that up? I thought we were young and foolish, without a care in the world right now?”
“Sorry.” She shifted her head. “It’s just that I’m lying here, listening to your strong, steady heartbeat, and thinking about Molly and how amazing she is.”
He smiled in the darkness. “She is. What is it you want to know?”
“What…what kind of a prognosis does she have? Do you know anything about her donor?”
“Her prognosis is pretty good. They can’t give me a definitive answer on how long she will live because the truth is, transplant medicine is still kind of a new frontier.”
“I guess none of us knows how long we—or our children—have.”
Pain laced her voice, and he tightened his arms around her. “That’s very true.”
“What about her donor’s family? Did you ever get in touch with them?”
“I sent a thank-you card. Hardest thing I ever wrote. Every time I reread it, it sounded so lame. Words can’t express how grateful I am to them for saving my little girl’s life or how sorry I am about their little girl. They didn’t write back, though.”
“I—” her voice caught “—I can understand that.”
“I’m sure you can.” He stroked up and down her back.
“I got some stuff from the Organ Procurement Organization, including a letter about two weeks after… I didn’t even open it.”
“Not ready?” he asked gently.
“No, not ready. And believe me, I tried a few times. But maybe when I go home, I’ll dig it out.”
Pride in her progress welled inside him. “Will you tell me more about Daniel?”
“Like what?”
“Like, what was his favorite color? TV show? Did he sleep with a nightlight or was he a tough guy?”
Voice soft, she talked about her son, his love for yellow and vehicles of all shapes and sizes, his teddy bear, and his nightlight. “He always had a smile for everyone.”
“He must have taken after his mom,” he said.
“Hmm. You know, I used to worry that he’d grow up and take after his father….”
He cuddled her closer. “With you for a mom, I doubt that would have happened. He would have grown up knowing how to appreciate a woman, and looking far and wide for one who could measure up to you.”
A blur of white streaked across the night sky, and Rachel tensed at the same time he did. Grateful for the distraction, he nudged her shoulder. “A shooting star!” It faded as quickly as it had flared into life.
“I saw it.”
“Did you make a wish?”
“Now I know you meant it when you said you were a wish-believer. Which do you think is more powerful, a wish on a shooting star, or a firefly wish?”
He rolled over, positioning them both on their sides, face-to-face. He reached out to stroke her cheek. “Well, I don’t know. My firefly wish for a kiss sure came true in a really big way.” Leaning forward, he brushed his mouth over hers—tentatively at first, then he deepened it, pressing more firmly, coaxing her with the tip of his tongue until she opened to him.
Several minutes later, he surfaced for air. “I’ve got another wish. Want to hear it?”
Her eyes fluttered open, dreamy desire evident in them. She nodded.
“I wish to make love to you again.”
She pressed her belly harder against his erection. “Tell me something I don’t know.” She smiled at him.
“Okay, did you know that this time, I’d like to do it in a bed?” He groaned and reached beneath his side. “I think I’m lying on a rock.”
She chuckled. “All right. My place or yours?”
“Yours is closer.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “I’ll race you there.”
“Race? Aren’t you worried we’ll fall and get hurt?”
He threw the comforter off them and reached for his clothes. “I’m more worried we won’t make it there fast enough, and I’ll end up grabbing you and making love to you in front of the cabins.”
“Good thing I’m at the end of the line, then.”
“But that won’t save us from the rocks.” Shirt still hanging open, feet shoved into shoes without socks, he gathered up the blanket. “Don’t button too many,” he warned Rachel as she fumbled with her blouse.
A slow grin curved her mouth. “Don’t want to work too hard when we get there, huh?”
“You got it.”
She flicked on the flashlight. “Let’s go.”
Just one night, he reminded himself as he followed her along the path. One incredible night, a night he’d never forget.
But as he watched her hurry ahead of him, he wondered if one night would be enough. If one week would be enough.
In her arms, he remembered what it was to be just a man.
His thoughts turned to his daughter. Molly didn’t deserve to be relegated to second place. It wasn’t her fault she needed so much of his time. And he wouldn’t change her for anything. He loved her exactly the way she was.
His pace slowed, and the gap between Rachel and him lengthened. Amazing how much clearer he could think when she wasn’t close.
When he walked up the creaky steps and onto her porch, she was already waiting, cabin door open. He followed her inside and dumped the comforter onto a chair.
She propped one hip against the back of the sofa, angled her head and studied him for a moment. “Our night’s over already, huh?”
Disappointment was evident in her blue eyes. He shook his head. “Not over. Just temporarily interrupted. I need to check on her.”
“I understand.”
“I figured you would.” He strode to the cabin kitchen, checking the time on the microwave. Only 10:42. Nolan would still be awake; he was a notorious night owl.
“I’ll just freshen up while you make your call,” Rachel said, heading for the bathroom.
He waved her off. The phone rang only once, then Nolan’s voice came across the line. “Hello?”
“Hey. It’s me.”
“Who else would it be? She’s fine. I dragged her and Cherish into the cabin about thirty minutes ago, and they’re settled in for the night. Go make use of those things I gave you and stop worrying.”
“Worrying comes naturally. Are you sure she’s okay?”
“Listen, she’s tucked into bed, snug as a bug in a rug. They’re both probably sound asleep by now.” A raucous burst of little girl shrieks from the background nixed that idea.
“What’s going on? Should I come down and get her?”
Pattering feet, and murmurs about shadows and monkey paws and something he didn’t catch crept across the phone lines. Giggles followed, reassuring him.
“No, it’s just these two are determined to keep me from my date with my wife.”
“Hey, bud, it’s only one night.” James laughed.
“I have no desire to follow in your chaste footsteps. Now, hang up and turn your attention back to that pretty lady you’re with. You are still with her, right?”
He glanced at the closed bathroom door. The sound of running water came from the other side. He grinned as an image of the two of them, beneath the spray of the shower, skin slicked with soap came to his mind.
“Still with her. Tell Molly I love her.”
“Will do. Night, James.”
Father responsibilities complete, James hung up and turned his attention back to the bathroom door. He shed his shirt, draping it over the coffee table. Friday night was still young—and for this night, so was he. Young, foolish, and with his cares tucked safely in bed, in the capable hands of his friends.
He pushed the bathroom door open a crack. Steam rushed out. “Rachel? You up for some company in there?”
Water streamed down her face as she peeked around the rainbow-covered shower curtain. “I thought you’d never ask.” She chuckled. “I thought you might find this a better idea than skinny-dipping in the lake. Fewer germs.”
“Hmm, you may be right about that. Maybe I should climb in there and make sure you don’t miss any. Full body search for germs.”
She crooked a finger at him. “So what are you waiting for? Lose those pants and come on in.”
He eagerly accepted her invitation.