I’m way more nervous than I thought I’d be. I’ve heard all about sex in the locker room, and I’ve been endlessly hassled for not sealing the deal with Paige yet, but I didn’t want to rush her. I didn’t expect to feel so nervous, though. I’ve been thinking about this almost nonstop since we started dating, but not once did I think I’d be trembling, the knot in my stomach all nerves and excitement.
Paige is smiling with her eyes closed, her head pointed up toward the darkening sky. The sunset behind her outlines her silhouette with a soft glow, and I’m convinced she’s never looked more beautiful than she does in this moment. She’s breathtaking, and I can’t believe this girl is really mine.
My chest hurts at the thought that in one short month, I won’t get to see her every day. It feels so unfair that I get this taste of heaven for six months, and then it’s going to get taken from me.
Okay, maybe that’s a little dramatic. But still, I’m realistic enough to know that sixteen-year-olds can’t usually make long-distance relationships work. I shake the thought from my head. I need to stop worrying about the future, especially when I have Paige sitting right here looking more gorgeous than ever and she’s all mine. I need to enjoy these moments while I still have them.
I slide my fingers through her silken brown hair. I’m mesmerized by her and endlessly fascinated with the feel of her soft strands as my fingers glide through them.
Her eyes still closed, she lets out a little sigh. “I love when you do that. It feels so good.”
She opens her eyes slowly and turns to me, giving me that look I know is reserved for only me. I’ve never seen her look at anyone else like this, and I don’t ever want to—I think it would kill me to watch her look at another guy this way. I don’t know what I did to deserve her, but in this moment, I want to kiss the ground she walks on. Instead, I lean in and kiss her perfectly luscious and tempting pink lips until she parts them on a moan and allows me to deepen the kiss.
Without breaking our kiss, I gently lay her back on the few blankets we’re sitting on and cover her body with mine, so I’m positioned between her legs. Even with all our clothes on, it’s my new favorite place to be. The feel of her beneath me, her hands in my short brown hair, her breathy moans, and the slide of her tongue against mine is unreal. I pull back and look into her deep brown eyes that are now quickly filling with tears.
I catch an escaped tear with my thumb as I ask, “Paige, what’s wrong?”
Did I move too fast? We’ve talked about this a lot. I thought she was ready, but now I’m worried I misunderstood things. I don’t want to push her.
“Is this too fast? We can stop. I’m sorry, I thought—”
She cuts me off with a kiss. “I don’t want to leave you,” she whispers, anguish seeping into every word. It kills me that I can’t fix this, that I can’t make this better and take away her pain. Our pain.
“Shh. Don’t think about that right now, okay? We’ll figure it out. I love you, Paige. You’re my best friend…my everything. We’re going to get through this.”
Paige reaches up to run her hands through my hair again and then pulls me down to her and kisses me softly.
“I love you so much, Jack.” She kisses me deeper, her hands gripping my hair. “Make love to me.”
I pull back. “Are you sure?”
She nods.
“I really need to hear you say it, Paige. I don’t want to pressure you. We can wait.”
“I don’t want to wait. I’m sure. Stop talking and kiss me.”
I can’t deny Paige. I’d give her the whole world if I could. So I give her what she wants and lean down to kiss her softly, my lips trailing down to her collarbone. We’ve kissed like this before, but it feels different now, knowing that we’re going all the way. She sits up a little and pulls off her shirt. We haven’t seen anyone the entire time we’ve been here, but I still glance around to make sure we’re out of sight and no one’s around before reaching my hand around her back and fumbling with her bra hook.
God, I’m so nervous my hands are trembling. I want this to be good for her. I know it’ll probably be over way too fast because I’m sure she’s going to feel amazing, but I want her to enjoy this. When I finally get her bra unhooked, I slide the straps down, not breaking eye contact with her. Paige has an incredible body, one I’ve spent many nights exploring in as many ways as I could, but I want her to know I’m looking at her, not just her body. This isn’t just sex to me. This means something, and maybe I need to give up my guy card for feeling that way, but it is what it is.
She slides her fingers under my shirt, the contact causing goosebumps to break out along my flesh. I love when she touches me like this. It’s not tentative or shy, but focused, seductive, like she’s tracing every part of me and committing it to memory. As her hand explores my abs, I start hastily undoing the buttons of my shirt and then rip it off until we’re lying there topless, skin on skin.
Nothing has ever felt better in my entire life.
I kiss her again, my mouth eager to join with hers, before moving down to unbutton her jeans. She helps by sliding them off while I slip out of my own. I pull a condom out of the basket—I came prepared—and set it down next to us, so I don’t have to look for it later.
When I glance back at Paige, I see her laid out before me absolutely, unreservedly, perfectly naked. As much as we’ve hooked up the past few months, we’ve never been completely naked with each other. I take back everything I said about Paige being gorgeous before. She is, but damn, looking at her spread out like this—I’ve never seen anyone or anything so beautiful in my entire life. I can hardly speak, I’m in such awe of her.
Our hands explore each other, our lips sometimes following. I’m not usually such a touchy-feely kind of guy, but this moment is everything I hoped it would be, not just for Paige but also for me. We fumble around with the condom as I try desperately to remember the lessons about safe sex from health class. It doesn’t help that I’ve never been this hard in my life, and every touch makes my dick twitch with a raw need I’ve never felt before. She lets out a laugh as she watches me struggle, which pulls me from my own nerves and settles my shaking hands. Once it’s on, I focus back on her, and the laughter fades as I use my fingers to feel her warm, wet heat and make sure she’s prepared for me.
But it’s the sight of my body slowly sliding into hers that will be forever burned in my memory.
Oh. Fuck. Me.
She’s so tight.
It’s the most unbelievable feeling in the world, and I have to stop for a second, taking deep breaths and closing my eyes. I’m praying for the control to make this last because I desperately want this to be as good for her as it currently feels for me. I glance down and realize I’m not even in that far. Jesus Christ, I might die from pleasure if this is how good she feels when I’m barely inside. With one more deep breath, I feel under control enough to keep pushing deeper. She inhales sharply, and I stop.
“Does it hurt?”
“A little.” She takes a deep breath. “Just keep going.”
“Maybe we should stop.”
I’m pretty sure it would kill me at this point, but I can’t hurt Paige. I start to slide out, but she grabs my ass and holds me to her.
Her gaze is pleading, her mouth a breath away from mine. “Don’t stop, Jack. It’s okay. It’s normal for it to hurt the first time. It’ll go away. Please don’t stop. I want you to be my first.”
Like I said before, I can’t deny Paige anything. I take a steadying breath and continue to push into her. I push a little harder and finally settle my now painfully hard dick fully inside her. She cries out, then closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. I want to stop—I mean, I don’t want to because this feels fucking incredible, but at the same time, I can’t stand the idea of Paige in pain, while all I feel is pleasure. I’m just about to pull out and tell her we can try again another time, but then I feel her squeeze around me and I’m lost in the ecstasy of this moment.
She opens her eyes, her brown gaze locking with mine, and whispers, “Don’t stop, Jack.” So, I keep going. I slowly pump in and out of her, and I’m like ninety-nine point nine percent sure that I could die of total bliss right now. She feels so fucking good. The pleasure shoots through me, nearly overwhelming me. As I feel my body start to lose control, I realize I’m not going to last much longer. Not with how tightly she’s gripping me, or the way she’s moaning and writhing underneath me.
Despite my struggle for control, I know enough from locker room talk that I want her to come first. The guys have talked about all different methods to hold off, so I start reciting the alphabet backward in my head, but I get distracted by the noises she’s making. They sound different than earlier.
“Does it feel good?”
“Yes,” she whispers.
Her eyes meet mine, and I’m completely lost to her. If Paige didn’t have all of me before, she sure as shit does now.
I continue to pump inside her, but I’m losing my battle for control.
“Paige, I can’t hold off much longer. You feel so fucking good. Too good.”
My muscles are tight and burning from the restraint. My whole body is fraught with tension. She’s moaning more now, and the only thought in my head is that I need to make her come.
I suddenly remember something my teammate, Brandon Fishell, told me about rubbing a girl’s clit to make her come. I move one of my hands down toward her clit—a part of her anatomy I have memorized over the past few months since we started hooking up—and start rubbing it gently. Her gorgeous chocolate-brown eyes widen, her breath stutters, and she lets out the sexiest moan I’ve ever heard as her body gyrates against mine, wholly lost to the feeling. It’s so sexy. Suddenly, she tightens and pulses around me as she calls out my name, her arms scraping down my back as ecstasy washes across her face. The feel of her coming around me is my undoing, and I completely lose it. I come hard—harder than I ever thought was possible. So hard, I have a tiny moment of panic that I broke the condom because there’s no way it could hold up against an orgasm that powerful. Thankfully, when I pull out, I notice the condom is still intact.
We lie there on our blankets, holding each other for a long time after, not talking but just staring up at the sky as the sun fades along the horizon. I’m playing with Paige’s hair, holding her tightly to me, her hand wrapped around my waist, another blanket covering our naked bodies and protecting us from the chill of the evening air.
“Was it okay?” I ask tentatively.
I want more than anything for her to have enjoyed it. I know I did.
She sits up and looks at me. “Jack, it was perfect.”
A smile breaks across her face, and I let out a relieved breath. I pull her back down to me, holding her close.
I never want to leave this moment.
I kiss her hair and tell her how much I love her, even though those words don’t feel strong enough to convey how I feel about her. I know now, without a doubt, that Paige is it for me. She’s the only one who will ever make me feel like this. She has all of me, heart, body, and soul.