I smile at the message emblazoned on my phone screen.
Paige: I can’t wait to see you.
My head rests on my seat as the plane ascends, and the noise around me fades while thoughts of Paige swarm my mind. I can still hear her laugh from our phone call last night ringing in my ears. There has never been a sweeter sound in the world.
I’ll admit I was hard as a rock by the time we got off the phone and came embarrassingly fast when I stroked myself thinking about Paige.
I glance out the window, eager for this flight to be over already. It’s only been a week since I’ve seen Paige, but even after nearly a decade of separation, a week feels like too much. I’m done being away from her.
Although they aren’t my favorite, away games never felt like torture before; I always prefer a home-field advantage. But being away from Paige for seven whole days after reconnecting with her feels like pure torment. Yet, despite the distance, it was the least alone I had felt in years. Just hearing her voice on the other end of the phone every night was like a soothing balm.
The icing on the cake, though, was rediscovering that our connection is as strong as ever. It was like the last nine years never really happened. Talking with her has been as easy as it was when we were kids. I swear I’ve laughed more this past week than I have since Paige and I dated.
The hardest part has been the relentless boners. Pun intended. I swear just hearing her voice makes me rock hard. I’m certain that I’ve developed new callouses on my hand from the number of times I’ve had to jack off this week. I don’t remember any woman ever provoking this kind of response from me.
Max disrupts my thoughts with a bump to my elbow. “I’m guessing that smirk on your face has to do with the lovely Paige.”
I turn toward him to see my grin reflected on his face. “It does.”
“Dude, you know I love you like you were my own brother, but I never realized what an asshole you were until Paige came back into the picture. I don’t know how she did it, but it’s like she’s smoothed out all your rough spots. You’ve been in a ridiculously good mood. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’d been getting laid regularly.”
I ignore his getting laid comment since he knows I’ve stayed in my room instead of partying with the team each night. My only company this week has been my hand.
“I wasn’t that big of an asshole before.”
“No, you weren’t terrible, but now that I’ve seen the difference, it’s pretty noticeable.”
I shrug. “Nothing’s really happened with Paige yet. We’ve only had the hike and then that one dinner date.”
“And you talk every night,” he points out with another grin on his face. “You want something to happen, right?”
I can’t stop the you’re-fucking-joking-right face from emerging. “Of course, I want something to happen. It’s Paige. She’s the woman I’ve compared all others to. Hell, my refusal to let go of Paige is what drove Kallie to cheat; and I didn’t even care when she left.
“Paige is what I’ve been missing all this time. Leaving her at that airport in Chicago and then breaking up with her all those years ago has always been my biggest regret. I want nothing more than to make something happen with Paige, preferably something permanent.”
He sits up and his grin drops. “Woah, are you serious? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you mention anything remotely related to marriage before. Are you sure you want to go there that quickly? I mean, you guys just reconnected.”
“I’m as serious as a heart attack. She’s the one. I can feel it with every fiber of my being. She’s what I’ve been missing. She’s who I need in my life. Everything feels right when I’m with her.”
I have no doubt if Paige hadn’t moved, we’d probably already be married with a couple of kids. Max stares at me, his mouth slightly agape in shock. He’s right; I’ve never talked about anyone like this. But I’ve also never loved anyone the way I love Paige.
“Okay…” He hesitates and looks at me cautiously. “What about the fact that she’s a journalist? Aren’t you worried that she could write something about you?”
I glance out the window at the endless white clouds. I’ve thought a lot about that since she’s been back in my life. I’m damn proud of her for what she’s accomplished, but I can’t lie to Max and tell him it doesn’t worry me she’s a journalist. I witnessed her hesitation when we had dinner. She had to think about whether she was with me as a reporter or as a date.
There’s a little whisper of doubt in the back of my mind that’s urging me to slow down, but I can’t.
It’s that simple.
I want her.
I turn back to him. “I’ve thought about it. I’m going to talk with her when we’re back and make sure we’re on the same page about our professional lives not mixing with our personal ones.”
“Do you think she’ll be receptive to that? I mean, you’d be one hell of a story. Every sports journalist has been trying to get an interview with you for years. It’d be a hell of a step up for her career to be the reporter who lands you.”
I glance away again, and this time I don’t look back at him. I can’t. He knows me too well and would be able to read the slight insecurity that’s desperately trying to surface. It would absolutely make her career, but it would also be the end of us—permanently. When it comes to Paige, that’s not the permanent I want. I’m just hoping she agrees.