CHAPTER 35

SQUEEZED BY

Early Tuesday morning, Beth arrived at the office at her usual time, 8 in the morning. She went into Anni’s office to see what work she needed to do that day, but Anni wasn’t at her desk. Odd, she thought, she’s always there early in the morning. Maybe she had to go run an errand. She’ll probably be back soon.

Beth went back to her desk and puttered through her day, answering phones and dealing with regular paperwork. At noon, she still hadn’t seen Anni. She had called Anni’s house, but the maid simply said, “She hasn’t been here all morning” and hung up.

Beth walked back into Anni’s office and reluctantly walked back to the bedroom. Anni’s bedroom was off-limits to anyone, but she just had to know. She opened the bedroom door, and there was Anni, sprawled out naked on the bed, still asleep. Beth walked in and saw the syringe, spoon, and lighter laying on the end table next to her bed. What in the world? She shook her gently and said softly, “Anni? Anni, it’s time to get up.”

Anni opened one eye, looked at her groggily, and said, “What are you doing in my bedroom? What time is it?”

“It’s noon on Tuesday.” Anni’s eyes widened a little. “I was worried to death about you.”

She jumped up out of bed and wrapped a sheet around her. “I’m so sorry—I must have been really tired! I’m going to shower and get ready, and I’ll be back at my desk in an hour.”

“Okay,” Beth said. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“No, but thanks,” said Anni. “Just keep this to yourself, please.” Beth returned to work, totally perplexed by what she just saw. Is Anni on drugs? She sat there for a second, pondering, then said a silent prayer for Anni, asking God for a spirit of love and not judgment to help her help Anni.

Around 2 that afternoon, Caleb was heading over to the locker room to meet with the trainers and prepare for the game on Saturday. When he went in, the trainers handed him a cup and said, “You know what to do with this.” He peed and then went to his locker and started putting on his practice stuff.

Coach Axom cleared his throat. “What are you doing?”

“Getting ready for practice.”

“You just put on shorts and your jersey. You aren’t getting any reps today, just observing practice.”

Caleb huffed. “I feel fine, Coach! There’s nothing wrong.”

Coach’s eyes narrowed. “Did I stutter? You are not practicing until we get approval from the doctor, and that is that!”

Caleb wasn’t happy. As much as he liked Jason Allgood, he didn’t want to give him a chance to get his 1st team job back. He watched the whole practice from the sideline, sulking. This sucks.

On Friday, Coach Axom went to the locker room before practice and told Caleb that Jason would be the starter on Saturday. Caleb wasn’t a happy camper, and for the first time since he had been at CAU, he questioned the coaches and their decision. When he brought it up to Coach Axom, Axom listened to him for a bit and finally said to Caleb sternly, “The decision is made. Even if Jason gets hurt in the game, you won’t get in—we’ll put in Henry. Caleb, I’m sorry but you aren’t even suiting up for the game. When the doctors tell us that your kidney is 100%, you’ll be the starter again. We aren’t taking any risks on you damaging that kidney. Do you understand me, young man?”

“I understand,” said Caleb, frowning, “but I think it’s BS.”

“Caleb, you are a smart kid. You’ve already sat out this week, and next week we don’t have a game. That gives you another week to heal. Let’s not take any chances, okay?”

Caleb sighed. “Okay, coach, okay.”

In the locker room before game time, Caleb went up to Jason and wished him luck. “Don’t let them rattle you, because that’s going to be their game plan.”

“Thanks, Caleb. I just appreciate getting another opportunity to play before I graduate.”

Caleb shook his hand and told him, “Go win the game, buddy.”

Caleb was standing on the sideline as the team came out of the tunnel. He felt uneasy and isolated, and he didn’t like it one bit. UCLA kicked off to CAU and Thad returned the ball 25 yards to the 45. Jason went in, but the coaches just kept handing the ball to Luke. The game plan was for the defense to shut down UCLA and win the game; CAU had the #1 defense in the country, so it was a reasonable plan. The coaches just hoped the offense could manage at least three points and win. Luke Donaldson was going to carry the load for the offense and was expected to get 50 or more carries this game.

The first half came and went with the score still 0-0. Jason hadn’t made any mistakes, and Luke had rushed for over 160 yards. But the field goal kicker, sophomore Randy James, had missed two reasonably short field goals and was rattled by the pressure. Field goal kickers are a quirky bunch of people. Confidence is everything, so if they come out and make the first one, they’re usually pretty reliable. But if they miss the first one or two, they get all in a panic. Caleb decided to stay out on the field during halftime. He didn’t ever get to do that, and CAU had a great marching band. He just figured, What the heck, I’ll stay and watch them and enjoy the show.

When the teams came back on the field, CAU kicked off to UCLA. They had a good return, drove the ball down and kicked a field goal. Now CAU was down by 3, and Caleb was getting anxious—as were the fans. Going late into the 4th quarter with 2:00 to go, CAU was still losing. Caleb was getting pissed; he just knew he could have won this game if it were him out there. UCLA punted the ball, and Thad Crossland caught the punt on CAU’s 10-yard line. Thad started down the sideline, cut across the field, and finally ran 90 yards for a touchdown. Caleb was going nuts, jumping up and down and screaming at Thad—so was the whole team. Thad had lived up to his hype and won the game. CAU was still undefeated and had a bye week, which was excellent timing for everyone. There were lots of nagging injuries, and it gave everyone time to heal a bit.

* * *

When Caleb got back to his dorm, he called Beth to see if she wanted to go out to eat and watch a movie. Beth just replied, “Oh good, I was hoping you would call. Let’s go.”

After the movies, they went to Beth’s apartment and were having a grand old time when out of nowhere, Beth nonchalantly asked Caleb if he had ever accepted Jesus Christ as his savior. This was who Beth was, and she had been around this man long enough and needed to know a few things. Caleb hem-hawed around a bit, trying to change the question. Beth would have none of that and looked Caleb straight in the eye.

“Have you ever accepted Christ as your savior? It’s a simple question Caleb, yes or no.”

Caleb didn’t want to get into this conversation. At all. “Well, I went to church till I was about twelve or thirteen, so does that count?” he said with a dismissive laugh. “My mom was a Christian woman and so is my dad, and my brother was debating whether to go in the ministry when he got home.”

Beth grabbed Caleb’s hand tenderly. “Well, do you understand how to accept Christ? And is that something you’d like to do?”

Caleb was feeling pressured and tired of these questions. He wanted the fun Beth back. “Beth, I know you have something special because I can see it and I can feel it when I’m around you, but I’m not you.” His frustration was building. “You have no idea of my life and what I’ve been through or what I’ve done. You grew up a little rich girl with two parents who watched your every move. I didn’t. It’s so hard for me to understand why you, or any other Christians for that matter, believe in this fantasy called Christianity. There’s a big guy in the sky looking down on us and judging us? Seriously? If we’re good we go to heaven, and if we’re bad we go to hell. I know it works for you and millions of other people, but I just don’t get it!”

Beth sat there quietly holding his hand, letting him talk.

“What’s the point of life, anyway? You read a book that’s thousands of years old and believe God wrote it and we’re supposed to live our lives by it? It all seems so stupid to me, but hey, if it works for you I’m glad, but for me I just don’t have the kind of blind faith to believe in something I can’t see. And while I’m at it, you know what else bugs me?” Caleb stood up and started pacing, and though Beth wished he’d change his mind, she couldn’t help but smile at just how excitable all this made him. “Christian people seem to have this superiority complex, that they’re somehow better than everyone else!”

Beth leaned forward but didn’t stand to follow Caleb. “Being a Christian doesn’t mean I’m somehow superior to you. One reason people misunderstand Christians is because we want you to have what we have—”

“What business is it of Christians to think that I want what they have? Maybe I want you to have what I have—have you ever thought about that? But I don’t try to force my beliefs down other people’s throats like Christians do.”

“Caleb, don’t you want a peace in your heart and a life with a purpose? I believe the meaning of life and the reason God put us on Earth is so we can prepare ourselves to go to heaven. You told me you’ve done terrible things in your life. You probably believe you were so bad that why would God forgive you of your sins. I understand that, but the bible IS God’s word for us. In the book of John it says that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

Caleb just rolled his eyes and threw his hands up. “I don’t need your God’s help; I don’t need anyone’s help, and I don’t want to discuss this anymore. You’re making me uncomfortable and pressuring me to do something I’m not ready to do right now and probably never will do. I am going home now.”

Beth, calm as always, said, “I’m not making you uncomfortable, Caleb—that’s God. All of us have something inside of us that guides us and gives us strength and hope. That feeling we have in our heart of right and wrong and a deep, penetrating knowledge that there’s to be something more to life than just this. That’s God reaching out to you, Caleb.”

Caleb had heard enough of this. He reached over and gave her a kiss and said, “That’s enough of this nonsense. I’m going home.” Beth wrapped her arms around him, hoping he could feel how much she wanted him to understand. As he went to close the door behind him, he mumbled, “I’ll think about what you said.”

Caleb got in his Vette and headed back to the dorms. On the way back he was thinking to himself, How can she be so sure of herself about all this? How can anyone believe that stuff? Of all the girls at CAU, I had to get involved with someone like Beth. Jeez.