For some reason, there’s the thought out there that women who have sex with women don’t need to be concerned about safer sex . . . which is total bullcrap. HPV (the human papillomavirus), the STI that causes genital warts and cervical cancer, is the fastest-growing STI among women who have sex with women. Herpes (I and II), gonorrhea, and chlamydia are also transmitted from woman to woman, as are yeast infections, and bacteria that can cause UTIs (urinary tract infections). Basically, you’re not magically protected from sexually transmitted infections or other nasty bacteria just because the person you’re having sex with happens to have a vulva.
How can you protect yourself? First, chat up your partner. Find out when the last time she got tested was and which STIs she was tested for—lots of doctors don’t run a full panel, so it’s good to know these details. Make sure you share your own testing history with your partner: it takes two to tango, or transmit, as the case may be. Some medical professionals are still a bit ignorant about women who have sex with women, and some of these professionals have been known to state that lesbians don’t need Pap smears or STI tests. If this is what they tell you, you have the choice to either advocate and educate your doctor or to find another one. Don’t let your doctor’s ignorance be the reason you don’t get tested.
Women who have sex with women have a lot of options when it comes to barriers.
One barrier often forgotten by women who are sexing up other women is the infamous condom, because sex toys can transmit STIs and bacteria from one partner to another. If you’re going to be sharing a toy, using a condom is a way to create a safety barrier, and it also leads to easier clean up—just toss the condom, rinse the toy, and you’re done. Better safe than sorry, and condoms can make safety a lot easier.
For many folks, barriers might not seem very fun or sexy at all. That’s okay. There are ways to make them more enjoyable, and as you use them, you get more used to having them in your sex life. One easy trick is to use lube between the barrier and the vulva; that can really help transmit the sensations being provided. Think of it as a safer sex sandwich—vulva, lube, barrier, tongue. Gloves sometimes feel better than skin; the smoothness lets the lube spread around more easily, and there are no patches of rough skin, hang nails, and so on to get caught on delicate vulvar or anal tissue.
Do you have to use dams or barriers? Certainly not—you don’t have to do anything. But it’s important to be educated on safer sex and sexual health, and to make sure that your partner is as well. STIs like herpes, chlamydia, and gonorrhea can all be transmitted through most sexual activity (including two women getting it on together), and sometimes bacterial infections and allergic reactions can be triggered if the person going down has recently smoked or used other chemicals orally. Knowledge is power; use knowledge to make the best decisions for yourself.
Let’s have another quick conversation on the use of sugar and sugary products as part of your sexual experience. Vulvas and vaginas, for the most part, do not enjoy sugar in any form, and that sometimes also extends to products containing glucose and even glycerin. Save the sugar for your sweet talk, and keep it away from the vulva.