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accidents, 292, 376–80
adaptive behaviour, 72–4
affectional bonds, 1, 39, 42, 124–5, 202, 212–13, 216, 224–5, 231, 247
see also independence of affectional bonds; compulsive self-reliance
age
at time of bereavement, 84, 95, 107, 172, 178–9, 300
at which children can be said to mourn, 9–19, 265, 276–90, 317, 390–4, 397, 412, 424, 437–9
aggression, 36, 235–6, 316, 361–5
see also anger; hostility
agoraphobia, 138, 223–4
alcoholism, 105, 153, 179, 186, 225, 300
ambivalent behaviour, 28–9, 202–6, 218, 222
ancestors, worship of, 134
anger, 13–14, 28–30, 68, 87, 90–3, 104, 116–18, 128–30, 134, 136, 141, 148, 161, 188, 238, 271, 288, 293, 346, 362–3, 387, 408
anniversaries, 148, 158–60, 256, 287, 313, 324, 338, 346, 348, 378–9
anthropology, 126–34, 190–1
anxiety, 23, 26–7, 36–7, 138, 180, 286, 351–4
anxious attachment, see under attachment
attachment
anxious attachment, 14, 202–6, 218–22, 301, 304–6
behaviour, 2, 38–43, 55, 66, 69–70, 73, 102, 171, 217, 224–5, 228, 345, 348
theory of, 38–43, 441–2
automated systems, 54–6
beliefs, 190–1, 270–1, 354–8
see also mourning customs
bereavement, see loss
blame, 128–9, 136, 146, 183–4, 238, 288–9, 358–61, 363, 379, 383, 387–8
Buddhist mourning customs, 134–136
caregiving, see compulsive caregiving
cases
Addie, 359–60
Arnold, 361–2
Bob, 389
Clive, 415
Dan, 385–7
Dawn, 421–2
Donna, 435
Esther, 375–6
Geraldine, 338–43
Henry, 327–30
Howard, 362–3
Jack, 378–9
James, 356–8
Jane, 413–14
Jenny, 352
John, 416–18
Julia, 157, 219–20
Kate, 395–6
Kathy, 282–5
Laura, 11, 405–7, 408, 409
Lucienne, 436–7
Lucy, 414
Mary, 318n
Norma, 352–3
Owen, 21, 398–401
Patricia, 366–7
Patrick, 12, 13, 403
Paul, 377
Peggy, 33
Peter, 321–4, 325–6
Philip, II, 423
Reggie, 13–14
Ruth, 371–3
Sam, 377
Seth, 354–5
Thomas, 394–5
Visha, 333–7
Walter, 363–4
Wendy, 277–82
Winnie, 391–3
Mrs A, 169–70
Mr AA, 155
Miss B, 346–7
Mr D, 221
Mrs D, 166–7
Mrs F, 155–6
Mr G, 226–7
Mrs G, 368–9
Mrs I, 154
Mrs J, 148–9
Mr M, 145
Mrs M, 162–3
Mrs O, 159
Mrs P, 166
Mrs Q, 151, 348–9
Mrs QQ, 144, 248
Mrs S, 207–9
Mrs X, 147
Mrs Y, 149
Mrs Z, 205–6
childhood experiences affecting responses to loss, 32–7, 214–28, 240, 307–10
cognitive psychology, 1, 38, 44, 49, 412, 425–39
Piagetian theory 425–39
see also information processing
comforters, 14, 92, 150, 191–5, 232, 240–2, 276, 290–1
compulsive caregiving, 16, 156–7, 202, 206–9, 212, 222–4, 237, 349, 356–70, 408, 410–11
compulsive self-reliance, 171, 331–332, 343, 349, 361, 365–70, 410, 433n
see also grief, prolonged absence of
consciousness, concept of, 53–4
control theory, 2, 38, 52–3
counselling, 195–201, 212–13
crying, 27, 89–90, 147, 155, 286 admonishments not to, 12, 227–8, 396, 398, 403, 423
deactivation of behavioural systems, 41, 64–6, 70, 240, 345–9, 402, 405–7
see also cases, Geraldine
death
childhood ideas about, 273–5, 291, 319, 352; see also cases, Wendy & Kathy
circumstances surrounding, 180–195
desire for, 151, 304, 316–17, 354–8
fear of, 351–4
information about, 182–3, 270–2, 276, 291, 324, 353, 388–9; see also cases, Addie & Jack
life after, 128, 270–1, 275
repeated deaths, 158, 160, 186–7
sudden, 108, 149, 180–1, 292, 324, 333
untimely, 84, 128, 292, 324, 333
see also loss
defensive processes, 1, 2, 6, 21, 31, 34–5, 44–74, 139–41
adaptive or maladaptive, 45, 72–4
conditions promoting, 69–72
diversionary role of, 66–7
exclusion of information, 44–59, 64–74, 230–1, 345–9
origins of, 69–72
denial, see disbelief
dependency, 39, 176, 221, 304–6
see also attachment, anxious
depersonalisation, 160, 375–6
depression, 32–7, 138, 245–6
depressive disorder, 23, 32–7, 142–148, 158, 180, 204, 214–16, 225, 289
and childhood experiences, 33–4, 245–62, 301
George Brown’s study of, 250–262, 306–10
despair, 9, 85, 93–6, 142–6, 148, 408
detachment, 19–22, 70, 401
see also grief, prolonged absence of
disbelief, 8, 16, 87, 116–20, 135, 139, 180, 316
disconnection of responses from situation, 67–8, 141, 248–9, 410
disorganisation, 85, 93–6, 120–2, 246
displacement, 68, 139, 141
see also redirection of behaviour
dissociation, 57–8, 139, 141
dreams, 60, 97–8, 133–4, 157–8, 168, 347
emotions, 40
endocrine secretion rate, 113, 145, 156, 261–2
environmental factors, role of in responses to loss, 94–8, 188–190, 311–19
ethology, 1, 38
euphoria, 139, 169–71, 331, 370–5
see also cases, Kathy
executive ego, 56
fear, 277, 351–6
see also cases, Esther & Wendy; anxiety
fixation, 33, 41, 139, 203, 214, 317
fostered children, 394–7, 412–14, 438
fugue state, 338–44, 346
see also cases, Miss B.
funeral rites, 127, 130–3, 271, 276
grief, grieving
duration of, 8, 10, 100–3
in infancy and early childhood, 1, 9–14
prolonged absence of, 130, 152–161, 225, 239–42, 349, 350, 371, 373–4, 402
use of term, 17–18
see also mourning
guilt, 8, 26, 104, 123, 147, 183, 204–6, 222, 277, 289, 304, 332, 358–61, 363–5, 384–8
see also blame
Hampstead nurseries, 14
Harvard Laboratory of Community Psychology, 107
hatred, 28–30
helplessness, 28, 246–7, 404, 408
hopelessness, see despair
Hopi mourning customs, 129, 168
hostility, 13–14, 92, 206
see also anger
hypnosis, information processing under, 56–9
hysteria, 23
see also fugue states
identification, 13, 26, 29–30, 99–100, 139, 157, 161, 166–9, 289–90, 389, 404
identificatory symptoms, 166–9, 376–80
identity of person lost, 172–8
illness
increased liability to during bereavement, 100–2, 109, 137, 204
prolonged before death of spouse, 181–2
prolonged before death of child, 113–24
images of dead person, 89, 96–8, 103, 286–7
independence of affectional bonds, assertion of, 153–6, 202, 211–212, 224–28, 242, 332
see also compulsive self-reliance
information processing, 2, 44–64, 200, 230–44
exclusion of information, 44–59, 364–74, 230–1, 345–9
perceptual defence and vigilance, 46–52
storage of information, 60–64, 345n
subliminal perception, 46–52
theory of, 44–74
under hypnosis, 56–9
see also memory
introspection, 68
inversion of parent-child roles, 161–5, 206, 223, 293, 314, 338
Japanese mourning customs, 134–6
Jewish mourning customs, 129–30, 136
Kota mourning customs, 130–1
leukaemia, 112–15
libidinal object constancy, 19, 431–433
living arrangements after bereavement, 187–9
loneliness, 95, 101–3, 124
loss
causes of, 172, 180–7
circumstances surrounding, 180–195
individual differences in response to, 32–7, 115
information concerning, 182–3, 270–2, 276, 291, 324, 353, 388–9
persistence of relationship after, 96–100, 128, 140
repeated losses, 158, 160, 186–7
responses of adults to loss of child, 7–9, 112–25, 132–4, 143–5, 154–6, 176–7; loss of parent, 166, 221; loss of spouse, 81–111, 145–6, 148–9, 155, 159, 162–3, 169–70, 178–179, 187, 201, 205–6, 217–19; loss of still-born child, 122–4
responses of children to loss of parent, 1–2, 7–9, 22, 174–5, 265–75, 276–94, 320–44, 350–380, 390–411, 412–24; loss of sibling, 121, 123–4
role of in depressive disorders, 32–7, 250–61
vulnerability to, 170, 172–3, 180–7, 202–13
maladaptive behaviour, 72–4
manic episodes, 139, 169–70
marriage, patterns of prevalent before loss, 209–11, 311
melancholia, 23, 30, 32–3
see also depressive disorder
memory
in episodic storage, 61–4, 345n
in semantic storage, 61–4
long term, 45, 53, 54, 60–1
young children’s memory of absent mother, 396, 414–15, 419, 422–3, 430–1
Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory, 296
misidentification, 68
mislocation of lost person’s presence, 99, 161–9
models, representational, 40, 55–6, 120, 138, 229–44, 247, 415n, 429, 432–5
mourning
anticipatory, 115–19
childhood experiences affecting course of, 32–7, 214–26, 240
chronic, 138, 141–51, 206, 234–8, 350
conditions affecting course of, 172–201, 229–44, 311–19, 320–44, 390–411, 412–24,
customs, 18, 92, 126–36, 168–9, 190–1
disordered, 15, 23–37, 42–3, 99–100, 137–71, 202–13, 350–380
duration of, 8, 10, 100–3, 130
healthy, 18–19, 25–6, 30–1, 42–3, 100, 140, 231–2, 242–3, 246, 248, 276–90, 320
influence of relations, friends, etc. on course of, 191–5, 231–2
influence of therapeutic intervention on course of, 195–201
pathological, see mourning, disordered
phases of, 85–96, 115–22, 138
psychological processes of, 24–37, 140–1, 229–44
similarities and differences between children and adults, 19, 290–4, 437
use of term, 14–19, 34
variables affecting course of, see mourning, conditions affecting course of
variants of 15, 137–41, 350–80
see also grief
mummification, 150–1
murderous feelings, 238–9, 304
mutilation of body at death, 182
narcissism, 30
Navajo, 168
neurophysiology, 38, 44, 51–2, 261–2
numbing, 85–6, 116, 138, 140, 147, 153
see also cases, Mrs Y
nursing before death, 181–2
object relations theory, 39
overactivity, 316, 361–5, 371
see also Cases, Henry & Seth
overdependency, see attachment, anxious
overprotection, 247n
perception
perceptual defence and vigilance, 46–52
subliminal, 46–52
under hypnosis, 56–9
person permanence, 19, 425–39
personality, effect of on responses to loss, 173–8, 202–13
pets, loss of, 159, 173–4, 255–6
phantasy, 233–4
primal parathymia, 33
projection, 139
protest, 9, 42, 87
psychiatric disorder, increased risk of after childhood bereavement, 295–302
psychoanalysis
as author’s frame of reference, 1, 38
theory of, 17, 24, 30, 32–7, 45, 46, 71, 137, 139, 203, 214–16, 295, 317–19, 364, 425, 431–3
quarrels preceding death, 183, 203–206, 209–10, 315, 358, 361
see also cases, Addie, Dan & James
redirection of behaviour, 140
regression, 41, 214, 235
rejection of child by parents, 219, 240
remarriage, see widows; widower
reminders, 89, 105, 136, 157–8
reorganisation after loss, 85, 93–6, 120–2
replacement of lost person by another, 121–2, 161–5, 207, 293
representational models, see models, representational
repression, 57–8, 65–6, 139, 141, 410
see also deactivation
re-union, hopes of after death, 134, 151–2, 304, 316–17, 354–8, 380
role of persons lost, 173–8
sadness, 92, 245–6, 276, 395
Samoan mourning customs, 190–1
school phobia, 209, 223–4, 294, 326, 338, 394
searching, 10, 85, 86–93, 277, 343
see also cases, Miss B.; urge to recover lost person
segregated systems, 59–60, 345–9
self, selves, 59–64, 345–9
‘false self’ 59, 160, 225, 240, 374n
self-reliance, see compulsive self-reliance
self-reproach, 15, 30, 91, 105, 118, 138, 146–8, 167, 180, 184–5, 289, 350
sensitive periods, 1, 26
separation
anxiety, 1, 9–14, 316
responses to in favourable conditions, 394–7, 412–15, 432–5
responses to in unfavourable conditions, 397–411, 416–24, 432–5
Separation Anxiety Test, 244
sex of bereaved, 172, 178–9
Shinto mourning customs, 134–6
siblings, 177
socio-economic circumstances after bereavement, 189–90
sorrow, see grief; sadness
splitting, 35, 68, 139, 141, 349, 437
‘spoiling’, 219
steroids, excretion rate of, 113, 145, 156, 261–2
stressors, 41–2, 186–7
substitute
parent, 364, 418–19, 423
child, 163–5
suicide
as result of bereavement, 142, 151–2, 210, 301–6, 317
of parent, 152, 292n, 326, 376, 381–9
of spouse, 152, 182–6
threats of, 152, 220, 301–4, 326, 351, 356, 383, 384
super-ego, 54, 55
tachistoscope, 50–1
Tavistock Clinic, 223, 333, 356
Thematic Apperception Test, 113
therapy, see counselling
threats
to withhold love, 71, 220, 396, 410 to abandon, 71, 220–2, 238–9, 315, 404, 410, 423
Tikopian mourning customs, 132–4
Tokyo, mourning of widows in, 134–6
unconscious processes, 1, 44–53, 56–9, 64–6, 69–72
urge to recover lost person, 27–8, 30, 34, 47, 138
variables affecting course of mourning, see mourning, conditions affecting course of
vulnerability to loss, 170, 172
wandering episodes, 343–4, 346 widowers
behaviour towards children, 270–3, 292–4
difference between widowers and widows, 82, 103–6, 179, 186
effects of responsibility for children, 188–9
remarriage of, 95
see also loss of spouse
widows
age at time of bereavement, 178–179
behaviour towards children, 270–3, 292–4
difference between widows and widowers, 82, 103–6, 179, 186
economic problems of, 85n 189–190
effects of responsibility for children, 188–9
remarriage of, 95–6, 131, 186
see also loss of spouse
yearning, 10–13, 15, 26, 28, 85, 86–93, 148, 204, 276, 285–6, 390, 393, 403–7, 415