New Year’s Eve 2021
Alice
The tequila slammers began twenty minutes before the chime of the new year. Alice already felt tipsy, soft with a wobbly combination of happiness and unease. She was happy to be surrounded by friends, talking drunken politics with her brother, popping behind the bar to help Chrissy, popping back out to gulp more wine. But uneasy to see Robbie and Leo still acting tetchy with each other, sitting together then moving apart, picking up their guitars, squabbling about which song to do, then putting them back down again.
The worst part was, Robbie didn’t seem to want to sit with her either. Was he annoyed she hadn’t said the right things earlier?
She leaned in towards Peter. ‘Do you think he’s okay?’ She nodded towards Robbie. ‘Do you think he’s pissed off with me?’
‘I thought it was me he was being off with, to be honest,’ Peter said. ‘But I don’t know why. I’ll go say hi, offer to get him a tequila.’
Alice smiled at him gratefully as he stood up. She thought about going with him, giving Robbie an early new year’s hug, maybe Leo too. But she held back and watched Peter click into Fun Uncle Mode, miming a suggestion of shots, Leo and Robbie both gazing up at him with habitual earnestness. Just for a moment she saw them as younger boys, twelve not twenty-two, both with their own dad issues, both looking to Peter to fill that gap. Her heart strained as her mind rewound the years. But as she blinked back into the present, Robbie seemed to remember he was in a mood – with the universe, or with specific people, she still wasn’t sure – and dropped his eyes to the table. Leo continued laughing at whatever Peter was saying, gloom half-clearing from his face, but Robbie scowled as if his laughter was offensive.
Alice rose to head over there – seriously, what was going on? – but then Chrissy appeared with a batch of tequila shots on a tray.
‘Cheers, my love,’ she said to Chrissy, tapping her glass against hers.
‘Cheers, Alice.’
‘To 2022.’ It sounded as futuristic as every new year did. ‘And good things to come.’
‘Here’s hoping,’ Chrissy said, with a note of apprehension in her voice.
Alice desperately wanted them both to count down to midnight with a sense of positivity. She glanced at the clock. Thirteen minutes to go. ‘Any resolutions?’
‘Haven’t really thought about it.’
‘Let’s do another trip!’ Alice touched her locket, wishing she could see Chrissy’s, but it was underneath her T-shirt as usual. ‘Paris was incredible, wasn’t it? In fact, I think that was my resolution last year, to take you somewhere, get you out from behind that bloody bar even if it was just for a weekend. This year we could do longer; we could go to New York or somewhere sunny and tacky like—’
‘Your new year’s resolution was to get me to go on holiday?’ Chrissy interrupted, looking at her strangely.
‘Well …’ Alice felt suddenly embarrassed by this, though she wasn’t sure why. ‘Yeah, kinda …’
It was true that her priorities seemed to have shifted in the last two years. She used to start each January with ambitions for herself and her career, but since Ethan’s death it was like all her focus had gone towards Chrissy. She clasped her locket again, sliding it left and right on its chain. Waited for Chrissy to laugh affectionately, to call her a dope for making such a lame-ass resolution.
‘I need to go change the barrel on the Guinness,’ Chrissy said flatly, her eyes following the locket’s movement.
Alice raised a smile and watched her go, the after-effects of the tequila humming in her head. It was nearly midnight. There were lots of people she wanted to hug and kiss on the stroke of the new year but her best friend had disappeared into the cellar just as the clock was ticking towards twelve. She looked around for Robbie. He and Leo were playing darts now, over in the other corner, and she hoped that was a good sign. Still nine minutes to go. She left her handbag on her chair and followed Chrissy down to the cellar.