Eva was coming out of the stairwell on her way to get coffee and soap when he stepped in front of her. Hansi! They embraced and kissed hard on the mouth.
“Komm, Schatzi, wir gehen zu mir nachhause. Paula ist mit den Kindern in Polen. Nur du und ich, eh? Wunderbar, oder? Ich kann dich ganze zwei Tage haben!”
“Oh, Hansi! Ja, wunderbar, wie schön. Lass mich nur kurz ein paar Kleider holen, und Toilettensachen . . .”
“Okay, okay, hurry up, though.”
“Won’t you come up and stay warm while I fetch my stuff?”
“No. Hurry. I’ll wait here.” He moved from foot to foot and lit a cigarette.
“Okay. I’ll hurry.”
It was not the Cadillac in which they’d driven around last time, but his old car. Eva didn’t say anything, because she didn’t want to make him angry.
“I need to make one stop. It’s on the way, don’t worry,” he said, and he grinned at her, grabbing her thigh. She was beside herself with anticipation. She could barely keep herself from grabbing him back, pulling him on top of her right there, in the car.
The roads became quiet, the houses few and far between. They couldn’t be far now. Indeed, it seemed they had passed Wandlitz, the suburb where Hans lived. Hugo had been very critical of Wandlitz, and Eva understood, but it seemed hypocritical, too, that Hugo, as a Party member and part of the elite intelligentsia, had lived differently, too. Of this, Eva became very certain, after his death. After she and her daughter were told to move.
But it was true, Wandlitz was even quite a step up from where Hugo and she had lived. Everyone who lived there worked for the government. They all knew one another, but they had privacy. It was a small neighborhood of beautiful three- and four-bedroom houses, all privately situated, secluded in the gorgeous, ancient woods. The war had destroyed everything, but not the trees of Wandlitz. There was a private restaurant just for the inhabitants of Wandlitz, and a private grocery store that imported goods from the West.
As they drove, Eva realized they weren’t going there, to his home in Wandlitz. They must be going to his cabin. But what did she really know? The cabin was small, with a woodburning stove. A three-room cabin, on a lake in Güstrow. No one for miles. He had taken her there, years ago now, and during warmer weather. It was almost Christmas! How cold would it be there?
Hans pulled into a gas station, the first building of any kind they’d seen for an hour. “Wait here. I won’t be long.”
It was dark—the building, the gas pumps—no lights anywhere. Could someone possibly be here? Eva felt uncomfortable. She watched the shadow that was Hans disappear behind the low building. Maybe there were apartments in the back? She waited.
Twenty minutes passed. Where was he? He wouldn’t leave her here, abandon her. But she was cold. With the motor off, the car wasn’t heated. Anger welled up inside of her.
It was never about her. She was just there for the ride. She knew this. He wanted company, but she wasn’t the reason why they were out here, no.
Another twenty minutes passed, and Eva, against all reason, decided to get out. She needed to move her feet! She needed to move her body, the cold was settling in and she felt sick with it. She got out and left the door of the car slightly ajar. She didn’t want to get locked out if, God forbid, something had happened to Hansi.
She followed the way he had gone, toward the building and around to the right and then behind it. There, at the back of the building, was a window, some room not visible from the front, and a light on inside of it. The curtains were drawn, but she could hear men yelling. Eva was scared, but even more scared to return to the car alone. The yelling stopped for a minute. She thought she heard a toilet flush and then the door opened and there was Hans, red-faced, carrying a huge box. A man sat in the back of a dingy room, smoking. He smiled at Eva.
“Mein Gott, was machst du hier? Raus!” Hans yelled at her and then threw the box at her. “And take this. Take this to the car.”
The box was enormously heavy; she was afraid she would drop it. Soon Hansi was behind her, with another box.
“Get in the car.”
Now what? She sat in the cold car, but she was upset enough not to even worry about being cold. Hans went back to the building, then back to the trunk of the car with another box, and then one more. Then, finally, he got in next to her and they drove off in silence. When they arrived at the cabin, Hansi turned to her and slapped her. “Stupid woman,” he said. “Never follow me when I’m doing business. You’ll get yourself in trouble.”
Eva put her hand to her face. Hansi removed her hand and put his hand on her cheek. His big mitt of a hand was like an ice bag on her hot, stinging face.
“Ich liebe dich, eh,” he said. “I don’t want you getting hurt, verstehst du?”
It was the closest thing she’d get to an apology from him. And he knew better than her. Still. She didn’t like getting slapped.
“Ich weiss, ich weiss,” Eva said.
Hansi built an enormous fire in the wood stove. The cabin was so small, it heated up quickly and Eva felt the romantic nature of the place. The remoteness, how it was just the two of them for miles. He put two large eiderdowns on her and brought her a brandy. When he got in bed next to her, everything was forgotten. Everything was perfect.