CALVIN MADE good money.
It was fairly obvious based on the hotel suite in Midtown that he got us.
Not a room—a suite.
I whistled as he shut the door. “Was all this necessary?”
“Yes.”
I laughed and shook my head. “If you insist.” I dropped my haphazardly packed bag onto the couch and then kicked off my shoes. I changed into my regular glasses and went across the room to open the fridge. “Full bar. We can get drunk and make some bad decisions later.”
“I have to make some calls.” Calvin set aside his coat and loosened his tie. “Will you be all right?”
I nodded. “Of course.” I went over to him and slid my hands from his flanks down to his hips. “Hungry? I can order some room service.”
“Yeah, thank you. Anything is fine.” Calvin kissed me gently before he excused himself and went into the bedroom.
I sat at the table and flipped open a binder to look through the dinner options. Calvin’s deep, sexy voice was muffled by the wall, but in the end, I had to turn on the television to drown him out completely, lest I be tempted to eavesdrop. He ended up being on the phone for an entire episode of some house-renovating show. When room service arrived, I answered the door and tipped the guy before taking our meals to the table. I went to the bedroom door and knocked lightly, peeking inside in time to hear Calvin thank and address someone as Special Agent.
My boyfriend’s cooler than anyone else’s because he has the FBI in his contact list.
“Seb?” Calvin asked as he lowered the phone from his ear.
“Dinner’s here.”
“Good timing,” he said, following me out.
I pointed to the plates. “Steak or mac and cheese?”
Calvin raised an eyebrow.
“It’s fancy mac and cheese,” I clarified.
Calvin looked at the steak.
I rolled my eyes and pushed him to the left chair. “Go nuts.”
“Are you sure you don’t want it?” Calvin asked, taking a seat.
“Don’t worry. I really ordered it for you,” I insisted. “I’d make some lewd comment about being sure to get my fill of protein later, but I’m tired…. Did you finish with your calls?”
Calvin nodded as he started going at the steak. “Finished,” he agreed between bites.
“Any important revelations?”
He looked up. “Spoke with Special Agent Tanaka at the FBI, per your friend’s suggestion. He put me through to Special Agent Matt O’Sullivan, who was on the original case four years ago. He confirmed the china and pistol we found tonight are indeed the two items reported as stolen by the Met the same time Earl was murdered.”
“I’ll be damned.”
Calvin nodded.
“And since the Barnum guidebook was at your place, I guess we solved it in the killer’s eyes too.”
“Seems as much,” Calvin muttered around another mouthful.
“What do we do about that? Not that this hotel isn’t swanky as fuck. I rather like it, but we can’t live here.”
“I’ve informed my sergeant,” Calvin said.
“About… just the book?” I asked hesitantly.
But I knew that wouldn’t be the case. Because Calvin was a good cop, and he’d have already put it in on record that I was the one being harassed. The book had been left at his place because the killer knew it was home to me as well.
“I told him the truth—mostly,” Calvin said as he looked up from his plate. “I told him you and your employee were visiting his friend and stumbled upon Ben Parker trying to break into an apartment. You both took it upon yourselves to try to keep him at bay until the cops arrived. When it became clear who lived there, I was called. After I finished, I brought you back to my place, because we’ve been dating for over a month, and we found the book.”
I swallowed. “Well, it’s basically true.”
“More or less,” Calvin said with a frown.
“Did he get pissed at you?”
“Yes.”
“Are you going—” I didn’t want to finish the thought.
“To lose my job?” Calvin asked for me. “No. He just chewed my ass out and threatened to suspend me.”
“Calvin!”
“He won’t, baby.”
“Jesus Christ, this is all my fault.” I dropped my fork and shoved the cheesy mess away. “Can I—should I talk to him? I’ll tell him—”
Calvin shook his head. “No. Please don’t, okay? I’ve gotten the reaming I deserved, because I shouldn’t have been involved with this.”
“But we were dating before this happened.”
“I’ve been too personally invested.”
“How can you be so calm about this?”
“My sergeant is a decent guy. He’s made his point, and I’ll be on a short leash for a bit, but everything will work itself out.”
I took my glasses off and scrubbed my face hard with my hands. “I’m an awful boyfriend,” I mumbled into my palms.
“Don’t be silly.”
I looked up at Calvin’s blurry figure. “How could you possibly not agree after all this? After getting in trouble with your boss?”
Calvin let out a quiet sigh and pushed his plate aside. He stood, and I thought maybe he was going to walk away, but instead he crouched down in front of me and took my hands into his. “Sebastian. I’ve never had anyone fight like you do to love me. I can’t… begin to explain what it feels like… to be so broken inside that happiness with another man seems impossible. And then you come barging in, forcing me to rethink everything I had convinced myself of.”
I squeezed Calvin’s hands. No matter what he thought of himself, there was no one I knew who was stronger or braver than he was. Not in a moment like this.
“But even if you do stupid things—and, sweetheart, you are the king of bad ideas—you haven’t given up on me, and maybe… that isn’t….”
“Stupid?” I supplied quietly.
Calvin’s mouth worked into not quite a smile, but not quite a frown. “Yeah.” He looked down at our hands. “It scares the hell out of me,” he whispered. “To talk about this, or—or getting lost in the system if I reach out for help. It scares me to stop working as much as I do, because what if it opens a floodgate? What if I turn into a vet who can’t control his anger or fear and I hurt you?”
“Calvin—”
He raised my hands up and kissed the knuckles gently. “All I mean to say is, you make me happy, Sebastian. And that to me is the sign of a damn good partner.”
I pulled my hands away and moved them up to cup Calvin’s face before I leaned down to kiss him. “You make me happy too.” I got down from my chair to be eye level with him. “Can I tell you something lame?”
“Sure.”
“If none of this crap had ruined the holiday, I was going to ask if you’d go on a really over-the-top, painfully romantic date with me.”
Sitting this close, I could see Calvin slowly smile, and then he chuckled. “Why painfully romantic?”
“I’ve always wanted to do the whole dinner and flowers and stuff,” I said, shrugging.
“You should have told me,” Calvin said simply.
“Yeah, but I wanted you to enjoy being all gushy in love with me, not just put up with it.”
“I’d like it.”
I felt my face heat up. “Oh. I guess I’ll keep that in mind for next year.”
“There’s still this year,” Calvin offered.
“Valentine’s Day is tomorrow. There’s no way we’ll find reservations at a nice restaurant, and you’ll undoubtedly be busy.”
“So we’ll have our own little date tonight.” Calvin reached over to the table and retrieved my glasses, then slid them back onto my face. “We had some nice room service.”
“I should have ordered something classier,” I stated glumly.
“We’re in an expensive hotel.”
“Were there mints on the pillows?”
Calvin glanced over his shoulder at the bedroom door. “I don’t think so.”
I scoffed.
“But the hand towels were folded to look like swans.”
“Okay, that’s kind of nice,” I admitted.
Calvin laughed and leaned in to kiss my mouth. “I know you grabbed the condoms,” he whispered against my lips. “Let’s go in the bedroom and I’ll make you scream my name.”
I shivered at the invitation.
I had thought to grab Calvin’s condoms—but I’d also thrown toothbrushes and shaving cream in the bag, so maybe it was more of an instinctive thing.
I slid my arms around Calvin’s neck, kissing him back. “How about you scream mine?”
Calvin sat up on his knees, tugging me forward. “That sounds perfect,” he murmured.
We both got to our feet, and I pushed Calvin backward while yanking his tie free. “You should probably use this on me someday,” I said, twisting the fabric briefly around my wrists.
“You’re so fucking hot.” Calvin grabbed me by the back of the head and kissed me hard.
“O-Ouch! Split lip!”
“Sorry.” He kissed the side of my mouth in an apology.
I dropped Calvin’s tie and made quick work of his button-down shirt. I shoved it from his shoulders and tossed it behind me. I ran my palms firmly along his chest while looking down. Calvin was straining against his trousers, and I loved that he was this excited and turned on for what we were going to do.
“Get naked and lay on the bed,” I ordered.
Calvin growled playfully in response, leaned down, and kissed and bit my neck instead.
My dick was painfully hard, aching for attention. I briefly succumbed to his ministrations, my own breathing hitching and a moan escaping my lips. “N-No,” I finally said. “Play fair. Pants off and be waiting for me.” I pushed Calvin into the bedroom.
I turned and sprinted across the living room, then grabbed the bag I’d tossed on the couch. My shoulder and ass still hurt from where I’d been shoved into the wall and avoided nearly being run over, but those were poor excuses to miss out on sex with a gorgeous man in a bed so big, one side would have to send me a postcard reading Wish you were here! I made a mess, tossing clothes and toiletries aside, before snatching the lube and cursing until I found a condom.
Ready to go, I dropped the bag, ran to the bedroom, and skidded to a stop at the sight of Calvin sprawled out across the comforter. He had one arm resting behind his head, his free hand lazily stroking his huge cock. Damn… Calvin should have needed a permit to walk around with that thing locked and loaded.
“You like this?” he asked.
“Is that a trick question?” I stepped forward, then set the items down beside Calvin’s leg before I yanked my sweater and shirt off, dropping them to the floor.
Calvin gave an appreciative murmur as he watched. “Come on, sweetie. Show me the cock that’s going to fuck me senseless.”
“My skills aren’t exactly up to par,” I warned, shucking my jeans off. I climbed onto the bed once I was naked and moved up toward Calvin. “It’s been, like… three years.”
“You’ll be fine,” he said, reaching out to pull me closer.
I straddled Calvin’s lap, rocking lazily against him as we kissed. We’d both memorized each other’s bodies, had learned the strength and speed and motion needed to bring each other to the brink of blinding, scorching-hot bliss. Calvin’s hands pressed firmly along my shoulder blades, roamed down the links of my spine, and smoothed over my ass. I leaned down to give the beautiful freckles over his neck and chest plenty of kisses. I dragged my tongue over the hollow of his throat, and Calvin’s breath caught.
“Good?” I whispered.
“It’s always good with you. How do you want me?”
“Always naked, at my every beck and call.”
“I think Quinn may protest the sight of my balls and ass every day.”
I wiggled my eyebrows. “Pretty freckled ass.”
He kneaded my own in response. “Don’t make me beg.”
“Would you?” I asked before nibbling Calvin’s earlobe.
He let out a groan and tightened his grip on my ass. “I need your cock. I need it stretching my hole—need to feel it all day tomorrow.”
“All day? I’ll do my best, but I’m thinking you’ll be out of luck by ten—maybe eleven.”
“Shut up and fuck me,” Calvin murmured.
I swallowed and nodded. “All right.”
I leaned back to grab the lube and poured some on my fingers. Calvin stretched his legs apart and raised one to his chest, giving me complete access. I moved over him once again, kissing Calvin deep as I pressed my fingers in. I tried to emulate how he prepared me, tried to make it a pleasure all its own and not treat it like just a necessity. When he bucked and gasped against my lips, I found myself grinning.
“Found the on switch.”
“Jesus Christ,” Calvin swore. “God, more, Seb!”
“Don’t fill up on the appetizer.”
“This isn’t—fuck!” Calvin grabbed at me, gripping and caressing whatever he could reach.
I tried to spend another moment preparing, but the way that Calvin’s breathing had become erratic and the desperate way he tugged on his own cock made me stop. “Deep breath,” I said, stopping to open the condom wrapper.
“Shit. Come on. Hurry up.”
I glanced back at him, grinning. “Listen to you. My big strong knight.”
“You like hearing me beg?”
“I do,” I admitted.
I squirted more lube and rubbed myself slick. It was now or never. Positioning myself over Calvin, I nudged the head of my cock against his opening and pushed into the ring of muscle. The tight heat was incredible. His body hugged my dick, pulling it into itself and making me lose my breath.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Calvin murmured. He looked down between us as I thrust forward once. “Yeah… that’s right.”
“Is it okay?”
Calvin moaned in response, the noise he made sending a sharp thrill straight to my balls.
“Faster?”
“Faster.”
I grabbed both of Calvin’s hands next, sliding my fingers through his and raising his arms above his head. I held him there and started moving in earnest. The slap of my balls against his ass was hotter than I can say, and I gripped his hands painfully tight as wave after wave of pleasure threatened to rock me right out of the boat.
I could see why Calvin managed to dirty talk so well when he fucked me. When I bottomed—so to speak—it was so goddamn overwhelming, I was surprised I remembered to breathe half of the time. But on the giving end, I found myself able to think a bit more.
Not much, mind you. But enough.
And having Calvin underneath, writhing and panting and gasping for more of me… it boosted a strange sense of confidence. I wanted to please him through whatever means were necessary.
“You like having a cock up your ass?”
Calvin smiled wickedly at me. “Yeah, baby. I love your thick cock breaking me wide open.”
“Want me to come inside you?”
Calvin groaned loudly in response. “I want you to come on my chest.”
I let go of one of Calvin’s hands and wrapped it around his neck. “Ask sweetly.” I squeezed a bit and he gasped.
“Oh yeah, God—Seb!”
“Ask for it,” I ordered before pulling back and giving one hard thrust forward.
“Take my ass! Oh God! Please, make a mess on me?”
I maneuvered down low and kissed Calvin’s mouth. “Good boy,” I whispered.
“Fuck. Sebastian,” he moaned, then kissed me back hard.
I pressed my forehead to Calvin’s and sped up my motions when I felt that telltale prickle start along my spine. I took as much pleasure as I could stand in that moment, savoring the last few thrusts into that perfect heat that slid around me like a glove, but I was ready to bust, and the thought of jacking off over Calvin’s chest was driving me insane.
I pulled out, quickly tugged the condom off, and tossed it somewhere I’d later regret. I put a knee between Calvin’s legs and got closer before pumping myself hard. “You’re so good,” I said, looking down at him.
Calvin’s body was splayed out. His skin had taken on a darker shade that I knew was a flush against his usually pale complexion, his lips were swollen from kisses, and in general looking gorgeously fucked and happy about it.
“Can I touch myself?” he asked quietly.
“Not until I finish,” I answered.
Calvin made a sound that was very much arousal and not frustration. He reached up and grabbed my hips, holding me above him. “Come on,” he purred. “Paint my chest.”
And I couldn’t hold back another second. I came hard, left breathless in the aftermath. I looked down to see ropes of my own cum glistening in Calvin’s chest hair, and damn if it wasn’t the hottest image I’d seen in a long time.
“I need to finish,” Calvin begged.
“Go ahead,” I managed to say between pants.
Calvin reached down and quickly jerked himself off, coming after just a few tugs. If he could have gotten any more limp and sated-looking afterward, he managed it. “My toes curled,” he finally stated.
I got down and gently kissed his lips. “That good?”
He chuckled airily. “Yes.” Calvin tilted his head and smiled as he reached up to comb hair back from my forehead. “Thank you. You’re absolutely perfect.”
My chest tightened. Instead of making a stupid joke or sarcastic remark, I simply said, “I love you, Cal.”
CALVIN KISSED the top of my head.
I grumbled and turned away, hugging my pillow. If he was awake, that meant it was morning, and I was having none of that right now.
“Rise and shine.”
“No,” I muttered.
I heard Calvin laugh as he got up from the bed. He moved around the room, steps muffled by the plush carpet. The sound of plastic crinkled, and when I opened my eyes, there was something huge, blurry, and pretty-smelling being thrust at me.
“What… the hell?” I grumbled, sitting up.
“Sorry.” Calvin handed over my glasses with his other hand. “You’ll need these.”
I put them on and blinked the sleep from my eyes. Then I saw what Calvin had been holding in front of him: a huge bouquet of flowers. I must have looked confused.
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he stated. “I realized I don’t know your favorite flower—but I remembered the first night we talked about the Andrews case together, you had a bouquet of carnations… so….” He glanced down at the flowers in his hand and shrugged lightly.
It was at least two dozen carnations, all wrapped carefully in heavy plastic to hold them in place and tied with a big bow. The shades of gray varied, so I assumed they were quite colorful.
“When did you get these?” I asked.
“This morning, while you were asleep.”
I realized belatedly he was already dressed for work.
“Oh. I mean, no—I like them.”
Calvin seemed, maybe a bit—nervous?
“I really do,” I insisted, giving him a sleepy smile. “No one’s ever bought me flowers. Duncan Andrews doesn’t count.”
“If you don’t like carnations….”
“I do. Like them, I mean,” I blurted out. “This was really sweet of you. You’re playing into my mushy, lovey-dovey fantasies quite well.”
Calvin leaned down and wrapped a hand around the back of my neck as he kissed me. “I better get going.”
“So soon?”
“It’s after eight.”
“Wow, really?” I turned to look at the alarm clock. “I slept like the dead.”
“The dead don’t drool.”
“Shut up! I don’t drool!” I said defensively.
“I beg to differ.”
“You’re an ass.”
He laughed.
I set the flowers to my side and took Calvin’s hands. “Before you go… I showed a picture to Ben Parker last night. Of Neil. Ben said he looked like the cop that… that threatened him the same way Luther was.”
Calvin narrowed his eyes. “What there is against Neil right now is circumstantial at best.” It was horrifying to know that Calvin and I had been thinking the same thing about Neil, and yet at the same time, a relief that I wasn’t alone or insane for having these thoughts.
“I know. But… two people both gave the same story of a cop threatening jail time if they didn’t comply. And Neil… is… angry. At me. I can’t believe it, but—” I stopped and just shrugged.
“I understand.”
“Do you have ballistics from either of the murders?”
Calvin ran his thumb over my knuckles. “Both wounds were inflicted with a service pistol. We’re still waiting to see if it matches anything in the system.”
“And what about the number that texted Luther and Ben?”
“The one that sent Luther messages was a prepaid phone. Probably tossed afterward. I’ll have to confirm if the same number was used to reach Ben.”
“You need to go collect the pamphlet from your apartment,” I said next. “There has to be mention somewhere of the address regarding the next clue. There’s a dead body out there waiting to be found.”
Calvin didn’t respond to that, instead raising my hand up and kissing it. “Do you plan on staying here today?”
“I really would like to go by the shop and at least collect my mail. In and out.”
He started to speak, but his cell rang in his coat pocket. Calvin let go of my hands, retrieved his phone, and put it to his ear. “Detective Winter.”
I sighed and looked around the room briefly. I needed to find where my clothes went. Maybe I should go shopping today. Pop and I could go, and I’d forgot all about the fact that Calvin would be at work, getting his ducks in a row so that he could arrest Neil. God… the thought made me feel sick.
“Copy. I’m on my way in now.” Calvin hung up and glanced down at me.
“Waiting for me to ask?”
He nodded.
“What’d you find out? Bullet match?”
“No. An ID on the dead man in your apartment. Enough remains were found to do a dental comparison.”
“And?”
“A cop. Officer Brian Lowry.”
“A cop?” I repeated, pushing the blankets aside and getting to my feet.
Calvin tucked his phone back into his pocket.
“Why the fuck was there a dead cop in my house?”
“Good question.”
“Do you know him?”
“No.”
“Maybe Neil does,” I mumbled while looking down at my feet.
Calvin kissed my forehead and stepped away from the bed.
“Wait, you said Lowry?” I asked, following behind him.
“Yeah.”
“I know an Officer Lowry,” I stated, sort of surprised. “He was one of the cops who came by when I reported the vandalism and break-in at the Emporium. Oh no—do you think his partner could be in danger?”
IT WAS spitting snow when I reached the Emporium.
Snow or sleet or freezing rain. The city just couldn’t get ahead this year.
Calvin had left the hotel pretty quickly after his phone call. I lingered for a bit, taking my time to shower and dress before heading out for the morning. Pop agreed to meet up for lunch and go shopping after. Holding my hand while picking out clothes was nothing new for him, but he willingly did it because Pop knew better than anyone the frustration I’d gone through as a kid with complete achromatopsia. It was probably the one thing that still made me self-conscious.
I’d also warned him that I wanted to try department stores again. I supposed it was kind of good timing that all my crap clothes had been torched, because I was finally starting to care about my appearance again. I’d never be a model or the boy next door, but Calvin made me feel like I was. And that sort of confidence wants a pair of jeans that fit in the ass.
I let out a breath as I retrieved my keys to bring up the Emporium’s gate. The cold air clouded around my mouth.
A car door slammed on the street behind me.
“Seb!”
My heart took a diving leap into the pit of my stomach. My fingers shook and I dropped the keys. I crouched and quickly picked them up before standing and turning to see Neil striding across the street toward me.
“We need to talk,” he said loudly.
“I don’t think so,” I answered.
“Don’t give me attitude,” he ordered as he stepped onto the sidewalk.
I felt myself take a step back. Fight-or-flight was kicking in real hard. “Why are you doing this? Why?”
Neil narrowed his eyes and shook his head. “This is what happens when you get involved with shit over your head, Sebastian! Do you see what happens when you think you’re a cop? Do you see how bad of an idea it is to date someone like Winter? You’ve been nearly killed how many times this week?”
“You’d know!” I shouted. “Oh my God. Holy God, Neil! This is insane!”
“I want you back,” Neil said firmly. “I’ll forgive you for sleeping with Winter.”
“Like hell! Are you nuts?”
“Sebastian—” Neil grabbed my arm.
“Don’t touch me!” I tore away from his hold and reached into my jacket for my phone. “I’m calling the cops.”
“I am a cop!”
“You’re a monster!” I screamed. I was trying to unlock my phone, but I was shaking so hard, I kept typing in the wrong fucking password.
Neil grabbed me again, yanking my arm and causing me to drop the phone. He looked down and smashed the heel of his shoe on the screen. “Now you keep this between us.”
Neil reeked of booze. He looked angry. Mean. And he was scaring the hell out of me.
“Everything okay here, gentlemen?” a third voice spoke suddenly.
I jerked my head to the side in time to see Officer Brigg getting out of her cruiser. She put her hands on her belt and stared at us expectantly.
“We’re fine,” Neil barked.
Brigg looked to me. “Mr. Snow?”
I ripped free from Neil’s painful grip. “No, we’re not.” I walked toward her. “Could I have a ride? I need to talk to Detective Winter,” I explained, reaching into my back pocket for my wallet and handing her one of his cards.
She glanced up, looking between me and Neil a few steps away.
“Please,” I whispered.
Brigg nodded. “No problem.” She opened the back door of her cruiser. “Hop in.”
I didn’t even bother to crack some wiseass joke about needing handcuffs if I were to sit in the back, because I was too scared. Shit had gotten real with Neil. Whoever he had been when we were dating… that man was gone.
I shut my eyes and leaned as far over as I could in the seat, taking deep breaths.
Brigg got back in behind the wheel and pulled onto the street. “Domestic dispute?”
I clenched my jaw and gripped my thighs. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Brigg was singing quietly to herself, then after a moment, asked, “Detective Winter is your boyfriend?”
I opened my eyes and glanced up, catching her gaze in the rearview mirror. “How do you know that?”
“He’s a highly decorated officer. Him coming out of the closet sticks in people’s minds.”
“Oh.” I fidgeted on the uncomfortable seat. “I heard about your partner. Lowry.”
She hummed in acknowledgment.
“I’m sorry.”
“So am I.”
Weird.
I looked back down, staring at my shoes and focusing on relaxing my balled-up hands. There was something on the floor of the cruiser. I pushed my sunglasses up and reached down to touch the grainy dust with my fingertips. I brought it up close to examine and realized with a startling sense of dread….
Brick dust.
I slowly looked toward the front seat. Brigg was watching me in the rearview mirror again. She had driven too far east and was several blocks the wrong direction from Calvin. “Brigg,” I said, trying to hide the concern creeping into my voice. “You’re going the wrong way.”
She didn’t reply.
“You’re heading straight for the East River—”
River?
Dead fish can’t swim.
“Taxidermy,” Brigg said, as if I’d asked a question. “Taxidermy fish was the third prize.” She looked back into the mirror. “But that’ll be hard to award you, since even a sleuth as decent as you can’t solve his own murder.”