18

On the front porch of Shelley’s I shivered in my sweater as I waited for Toppy to arrive. He showed up, waving a Cowboys flag from the window.

“Ready, little lady?” He jumped out and opened the passenger door of his SUV.

“Been ready for hours. I’m excited about this.” We headed for Dallas. Toppy put his radio on the ‘70s station. He knew all the words. I sang along, quite familiar because my mother listened to the same channel for years.

“Oops, sorry. I didn’t understand some of the meanings of those words when I was a kid.” He turned off the radio and popped in a CD, and we listened to classical piano. A man of varied tastes, Toppy spanned the gamut of musical druthers. By the time we got to the Dallas Rehabilitation Center, I was beyond excited to see Scott and how he’d react to my surprise.

We tiptoed into Peeps’s room. Scott was dozing in a chair beside the bed.

“Well, hello fr…friends!” Peeps said, rather loudly.

Scott jerked awake. “Wow, hey! What are you guys doing here?” Scott hugged his uncle then me.

“Get your jacket,” Toppy announced. “You and I are going to a Cowboys game.”

Scott didn’t seem to hear him. He kept looking at me. “Really good to see you, Bailey.” He hugged me again.

A strange look came over Toppy’s face. He sat in Scott’s chair, deep in thought.

I pulled away from Scott and went to Peeps. He reached up for a kiss on the cheek just beaming at me.

“What did you say, Uncle Tops?” Scott followed me to his father’s bedside, not letting go of my hand.

“I said I came to sit with my brother-in-law so the two of you can go to the Cowboys game.” He gave me a look that said, “Leave it at that.”

“What?” Scott exclaimed, looking first at Toppy then at me.

“My lawyer gave me a couple of tickets. I thought you might enjoy it.” I looked questioningly at Toppy.

“Yeah, get outta here or you’ll miss the whole thing. Peeps and I have some catching up to do.”

Peeps nodded.

“Sure, Dad?” Scott looked like he might back out. “It’s been a rough morning.”

“Go.” Peeps waved us out the door.

“All right, then.” Scott grabbed his jacket and my hand and pulled me out of the room. I looked over my shoulder at Toppy. He threw me the keys to his car and nodded a big affirmative.

Had Toppy changed his mind when he saw how glad Scott was to see me? Or had he planned not to go to the game from the very beginning? Either way, what a darling thing to do. I liked the Cowboys well enough, but to watch Scott have fun after all he’d been through…bliss.

Scott and I ran like kids to the elevator and rushed to Toppy’s car.

We drove out of the parking lot. Scott filled me in on his dad’s regime, how he’d been learning to walk Peeps through the paces.

“The old man has been a real curmudgeon through the whole thing. He’s tired and wants to go home. It won’t be much easier once we get home if he doesn’t resign himself to the exercises.” He pulled me close to him as he drove.

“We’ll have to pray and be patient.” I enjoyed snuggling next to him against the cold.

“So how’s everything on the good old Washout Express? Choo, choo!” Corny, but cute.

“Mandy and Macy are with Tracy at the diner. My mom is taking care of the guests at Shelley’s. Business was humming when we passed by the washout this morning at six. Nothing to worry about,” I said.

“Would you be terribly disappointed if we didn’t go to the game? You’ve gone to so much trouble, but I’m dying to talk to you about something.”

I couldn’t read his expression.

“Not a bit,” I said. “Hard to talk at a game. Where did you want to go?” What did he want to talk about? Was something wrong with Peeps?

“Not sure, but a quiet place. Sure you don’t mind?”

How could I resist those blue eyes?

I couldn’t. I would follow those eyes anywhere. “Fine with me. You’d give up a chance to see the Cowboys just to talk to me?” Steady, girl.

“I’d give my right arm for a chance with you.” He stole a glance at me.

Where was he going with this? My heartbeat did flips.

“All right, then. Where to? A restaurant? A movie?” I ran through a mental list of possible quiet places.

“I’ll know it when I see it, Miss Brown.” His voice turned soft, reflective. After the giddy excitement, we suddenly became quiet as church mice.

Scott slowed the car as we passed a park. Lovely and green, as East Texas is wont to remain all year long, it was dotted with maples that shone in autumn glory. We parked the car and walked hand in hand to a bench nearly hidden by shrubs and canopied with wisteria and crepe myrtle.

“How’s this, Miss Brown?” He bowed low, showing me to my seat with a sweeping flourish of his arm.

“Why are you calling me Miss Brown? You’re positively nutty this afternoon. I guess you really did need a break.”

“I need a break, and I’m going for broke, as well.” He got down on one knee and reached for my hand. He was breathing nervously and his hands were shaking.

I gasped slightly and unconsciously threw my hand up to cover my mouth.

“Bailey, I’ve prayed my head off about this.” He stopped and looked directly into my eyes. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

I can’t stop thinking about you either, and I’ve been praying too.

“These few days that I’ve been away made me realize I need you by my side. You have been such a help to me. You know how to take charge and be there for a person. You’ve been so good for Dad, and everyone trusts you. You’re perfect for us—for me.”

OK, I was hoping for “I love you,” but be patient, Bailey.

“Would you, could you, if you feel the same way, consider becoming Mrs. West instead of Miss Brown?” He pulled a set of rings from his pocket.

I knew without being told that they were Shelley’s. Had he asked his father about this? Had they decided together that I was the answer to their problems? My hopes died a little.

“I…” I’d hoped for a declaration of love, not one of need. My breaking heart paralyzed me. I couldn’t sort it out and couldn’t speak.

Scott searched my eyes. He reached for my other hand and clutched them both in his. “I…need you, Bailey. I need you on my team.”

Was I expecting too much? Because it certainly felt like I was a good employee he wanted to lock into a contract.

Father, have I drifted too far the other way wanting to be loved for just me and not for what I can do for people? I felt confused. I loved Scott; no doubt about that. I’d thought he loved me, too. Now I wasn’t so sure. Maybe his nerves were making him botch this. Or maybe he’d said exactly what he meant. Maybe he didn’t love me at all. Maybe I was just making his life easier by managing Shelley’s place. He’d already admitted he felt overwhelmed before I arrived. Could I marry a man who didn’t really love me? Should I even consider it?

A worried look came over his face, the joy and excitement sucked away.

“Do you feel the same way, Bailey? Was I wrong to think you did?”

“Scott, I…don’t know what to say. As far as feeling the same way…what I hear you saying is that you need help. I want nothing more in the world than to help you, and I will, but I hoped to marry for love. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, Bailey, I’m such an idiot…let me…” Scott lifted himself from his knee and slid into the seat next to me, not letting go of my hands

“No, it’s OK.” I shook loose from his grip.

What was I thinking? Hadn’t it always been this way? Good enough to work, but not good enough to be loved. Maybe I should settle for this. Scott was a decent man. It was probably the best I could hope for. At least I loved him. At least I was sure he’d never do anything to hurt me.

No. He meant too much to me. I couldn’t marry him and have him not feel as deeply as I did. The hurt, confusion, and disappointment seeped through my pores and tears fell. I couldn’t help it.

Scott continued to speak, but there was a roaring in my ears that blocked his words, an ocean pushing my dreams farther away. But, I’d come a long way. There was a time that I would have said yes anyway.

I walked toward the car with Scott following, murmuring some apology. What did it matter? My defense mechanisms switched into gear, my pain-masking processes jumped to attention. Keep my word and see Shelley’s Heart through the bookings I made, get a job, move back to town, deal with Pinewood Manor.

Scott’s cell rang as soon as we got into the car.

“On my way.” His face darkened. He revved up the engine and maneuvered Toppy’s vehicle in and out of traffic in a crazed kind of way.

“Something wrong?” Oh please, God, not Peeps.

“Dad’s taken a turn for the worse. He’s been transferred to a hospital.”