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To: Dr. Wellbottom
Deus! Will you stop worrying? I’m fine! Nothing happened. Well, stuff happened, but Karma was there, and she went all badass on the guy who tried to stab me in the throat, so there’s no need to make me talk out the trauma.
Also, Karma said you can’t put me with any other foster people, because I can see spirits, and she’s the only one around who can teach me how to do what she does, which is kind of cool, because I would have totally banished that asshat if I could have. Besides, Karma didn’t do anything wrong, so you can’t say that she’s not a good influence. I mean, she’s not all that, but she is OK enough, and lets me cook, and says she’ll pay for a culinary course at the local college if that’s what I want to do. And she needs me. She has all those imps, and people are always taking advantage of her, so she needs me to keep an eye on things.
Yes, her boyfriend is here, but you got the wrong idea about what I said. It’s not like they’re doing anything in front of me other than kissing every now and again, and even then, it’s not, like, with tongues or anything. They like each other, and it’s not fair for you to say that they are behaving inappropriately in front of me. You’re not here, so you don’t know! The crazy ghost—the second one, not the one who tried to kill me—almost beat in her head, and ended up breaking her ribs, so she (Karma) can’t even get it on with Adam right now. Yeah, they sleep in the same bed, but Adam told Karma they weren’t going to do anything until she got a note from her doctor saying she could, at which point she yelled at him that she was the one who got to say when she could do sexy times, not a doctor, and then Adam told her that he was only thinking of her, and then they didn’t talk to each other for a couple of hours until I pointed out to them they were being idiots.
Then Karma laughed, and Adam said he wasn’t trying to take autonomy away from her, but that he was concerned, and then they did kiss—but not with tongues—and we all went out to see the best haunted house ever, except Karma wouldn’t let me go in because she said it looks condemned. Adam and I went around the back and snuck into the kitchen, but he wouldn’t let me go farther because the floor was rotted.
Karma needs me. Adam kind of needs me, mostly to help him with Karma. So everything is fine, and I don’t want to leave, and I’m going to make bacon flan Cubano when I get home.
I have to go. There’s a doll shop near our hotel, and I saw a bunch of outfits that would fit Karma’s imps, and I’m going to get some for her for a late birthday present.
I’m fine, OK? Deus! Just stop worrying! I’ve got Karma and Adam, and nothing is going to happen with them around.
To: Pixie O’Hara
Famous last words, my dear. I’ll see you on the seventh at your regular time. Please bring recipe for bacon flan Cubano.
Dr. Felicity Wellbottom
