To Alexander Findlater

Ellisland, Saturday Morning

First printed in Barke, 1959.

Dear Sir, our Lucky humbly begs

Ye’ll prie her caller, new-laid eggs: taste, fresh

Lord grant the Cock may keep his legs,

       Aboon the Chuckies; above

5 And wi’ his kittle, forket clegs, roused, spindly legs

       Claw weel their dockies! well, backsides

Had Fate that curst me in her ledger,

A Poet poor, and poorer Gager, exciseman

Created me that feather’d Sodger,

10        A generous Cock, cockerel

How I wad craw and strut and roger crow, copulate

       My kecklin Flock! cackling

Buskit wi’ mony a bien, braw feather, dressed, snug, fine

I wad defied the warst a’ weather: would, worst

15 When corn or bear I could na gather barley, not

       To gie my burdies; hens

I’d treated them wi’ caller heather, fresh

       And weel-knooz’d hurdies. well-rounded backsides

Nae cursed CLERICAL EXCISE no

20 On honest Nature’s laws and ties;

Free as the vernal breeze that flies

       At early day,

We’d tasted Nature’s richest joys,

       But stint or stay.—

25 But as this subject ’s something kittle, ticklish/difficult

Our wisest way ’s to say but little;

And while my Muse is at her mettle, work

       I am, most fervent,

Or may I die upon a whittle! knife

30        Your Friend and Servant—

       Robt. Burns.

Alexander Findlater (1754–1839) was the Excise Supervisor at Dumfries in 1787 and held the post until 1797, when he was promoted to Collector of Excise in Glasgow then Haddington. A friend of the poet, he was born in Burntisland, Fife, the son of an Excise Officer. This brief letter-epistle was sent with a present of eggs to Findlater from Ellisland. It is assumed that it was written early in 1790, as it is not dated.