Born in 1970 in Santa Barbara, California. Lived in Long Beach, California, in the ’80s and attended shows at various venues throughout Los Angeles County. Currently lives in Long Beach and works as a self-employed silk screen printer.
I WAS PROBABLY TWELVE when I first started listening to punk. I had a cousin who was in the Suicidal scene [influenced by the band Suicidal Tendencies]. He was friends with the guys in the band. He introduced me to the music of Suicidal Tendencies, the Cramps, Black Flag, and bands like that. I had a friend in junior high who was into all kinds of music. He introduced me to the Subhumans, Crass, and Stalag 13. From there, I met other people who were into the scene. We were mostly twelve or thirteen years old. The scene was already going. There were so many good bands with many views I related to. I was anti-social and a lot of the bands were articulating what I was thinking. I didn’t like society at the time.
I also grew up listening to Secret Hate, the Grim, Kraut, and Die Kreuzen. I would listen to them over and over, because they hit that chord. It made so much sense to me. There wasn’t just one type of punk that I liked. There were bands I liked for the political aspect and there were bands I liked for just the music.
My favorite band was and still is Rudimentary Peni. That’s my heart right there. And Crass’s Penis Envy album. When Eve Libertine sang, I think she spoke to all the women. I liked the Subhumans. Another one of my favorites was the Dead Kennedys. Just hearing Jello Biafra’s voice and the lyrics. They were so astute, smart, and well-spoken. Combined with the energy and the voice, it was just, wow. He blew me away. I liked 7 Seconds’s The Crew album, because they really spoke for everybody’s rights: women’s rights, anti-racism, and anti-bullying. That spoke to me. And MDC, because [singer Dave Dictor] was honest, very well-spoken, and knowledgeable. I liked Minor Threat. While I wasn’t straight-edge, all of the other stuff was so right-on.
I didn’t start going to shows until I was thirteen. I remember listening to 7 Seconds and Minor Threat records before. The cool thing is that Zed Records was close by, so there was access to all different kinds of punk. It wasn’t just a local scene. It was everywhere.
I went to every single show I could. Being thirteen, my mom didn’t want me out every night at all times, but as often as I could, I would go to Fender’s. There was a little place called the Melody Dance Center. I think that was over on Atlantic. There was Emerald Hall. It was on Redondo and Seventh. They only did a couple shows before it got closed down. Some of the bigger places, like the Olympic, the Palace, and the Palladium, I didn’t go to as often, because they weren’t as accessible as getting on the bus and going to Fender’s. That was more of getting everyone together and finding someone with a car. There were also some friends who put on cheap shows, dollar shows, at the Filipino Community Center and in backyards.
I recall going to some protests, such as anti-war protests. That was the time of the nuclear arms race and the big bombs. It was the Food Not Bombs era. There was the [Big Mountain Elders Relocation Resistance] that MDC was very much about. I think the government was moving [Native Americans] off their land, because there were mineral properties that the government wanted. I did People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals protests and handed out flyers.
I wanted to do a lot, but I was more of a supporter. Along with that, I was doing drugs. That prohibited me from doing a lot more than I could have and would have if I wasn’t so involved in getting, using, and finding ways to get high. I did everything I could get my hands on, except for heroin. The only reason I didn’t do heroin was because I saw friends do it and OD. They would either die or never be the same. I started out with LSD. I did spray paint, White-Out, mushrooms. Then I got into speed and PCP. It progressed. If I liked it, I did more. Alcohol was always in there. Alcohol was obviously the first thing because it was the most accessible, and then it just progressed.
Growing up, I never felt like I belonged anywhere. I always felt like an outcast. I didn’t speak girl talk. I wasn’t the popular kid. I got along with the nerds and geeks or the people who didn’t even get along with them. That was where I felt the most comfortable. With punk, that’s where it was for me.
I fell in love with punk rock at a show. It was 7 Seconds, the Abandoned, and Suicidal Tendencies. There were a whole bunch of other bands playing, too. I think I was thirteen. I was on the edge of the pit and I was watching the crowd slamming. A guy came around and he just socked me in the arm. It didn’t matter if I was a girl or a guy or anything. I was one of the crowd. He didn’t do it to hurt me. He did it, because he was dancing. And he wasn’t saying, “Oh, you’re a girl, I’m going to be careful with you.” At that point, I felt a part of it. That’s when I realized, this is my home.
I think that in the earlier scene, with the people that I hung out with, it didn’t matter if you were a guy or a girl. Whoever wanted to put something into the scene or create a zine, it was all good. It was all accepted. That was my crowd of people, my friends, the people I went to school with and the people I went to shows with.
As years went on, I’ve been in bands. In the 1990s and 2000s, I’ve run up against a lot of guys who dismiss women. It’s the boys’ club. It’s, “Oh, you’re a woman who’s saying something. It can’t mean that much.” But in the ’80s, I didn’t run into that. I saw friends that were girls doing stuff. I never thought it was an issue. Just like in my group of friends, being black wasn’t an issue, being gay wasn’t an issue, and being a woman wasn’t an issue. Now, if you had long hair, that was an issue [laughs]. “What’s this hippie doing here?”
Punk rock absolutely influenced the rest of my life by who I surround myself with. I have a kinship with other punks. They understand me. I wouldn’t date a guy if he wasn’t into punk, because he wouldn’t understand going in the pit or why I want my hair short. He wouldn’t understand that unless he was a punk. So my husband is from the scene.
Politically, I’m further than left. I don’t believe in a government. I don’t believe in being controlled or in capitalism, but it’s the world we live in. I like it here better than I would in a lot of other countries.
I’m an atheist. I don’t think I’m spiritual. I have my views and I have my values. I live a life. I consider other people, my pets, my husband, my family, my friends. Some people would say I have morals, but they are not other people’s morals. I’ve been vegetarian since about ’84. I’ve had a couple of ventures back into eating meat, but shortly after, I came back. I don’t believe we should be killing animals for food when there is absolutely no reason why we should. I love animals. I’m not vegetarian for health reasons at all. I’m vegetarian for ethical reasons. I don’t live my life for an image. I have people say, “What difference does it make?” It’s like Minor Threat says: “At least I fucking try.”
Punk rock inspired me to learn bass. I’ve been in four bands. The first three bands were fun. We called it splunge rock. The first band was the Caltransvestites. I joined around 1996. We were all about having fun. There were politics in some of the lyrics. We had a song called “White Trash” and songs about lesbians and songs about your mom, but it was about having fun and doing what you want to do. It wasn’t serious. If someone fucked up, it wasn’t like, “You fucked up that song! That was the wrong key!” It was ridiculous. We dressed up and in drag. To me, it’s really important to be in a band where the views are alike. You have the same ideas in mind and the same direction.
The last band I was in, the Vaginals, we were more a traditional punk band. We didn’t throw out toys into the audience or dress up funny. We had more of a political view, but songs that affected us as people, as women. There was one guy in the band who was open-minded. I wasn’t in that band until around 2002.
It was something I wanted to do when I was twelve, but I didn’t have the money and I didn’t have the resources. I didn’t have friends who wanted to put a band together, and I was using drugs.
I absolutely feel a connection to the scene. There are still so many good bands out there. I don’t go to shows nearly as much as I used to. Life changes. There are considerations. But I think that there’s still a great scene out there. The majority of it is underground and people don’t know about it. And people say, “Punk’s dead. There’s nothing going on.” Well, there is. There are a ton of bands all over the world, including this country, that are putting out great stuff. You just have to look for it. That’s fine by me. I don’t like when punk is exploited and the media and parts of society trivialize it. They dilute it and take the power out of it. Like when you see little girl bondage pants at Target. I don’t think that changes anyone who is punk. It doesn’t dilute actual punk. It just dilutes peoples’ perceptions of it.
My musical tastes have grown. The older I get, the more I listen to. I listen to rockabilly. I listen to ska. I listen to world music. I listen to all kinds of music. I definitely have my preferences. I don’t like contemporary country. I don’t like any metal. There’s some punk that has a metal overtone. It depends on the band. Sometimes I’ll tolerate it, but usually I can’t listen to it.
My overall views continue to be punk. My overall ways in everything I do. How I treat people. The way I look at things. It’s always going to be because of my experiences with punk.
My involvement in the scene was absolutely good. It’s made me the person I am. It’s given me fulfillment in life. I don’t regret anything that I’ve done. I mean, there are minor things that, if I could, I would do differently, but on the whole I take them all as experience and I’ve grown from them. I’ve learned from my experiences. I wouldn’t change. If I had the chance, I probably would be more into the scene. I’d do more. I’d be involved more.