0:00
[Fade in]
[A white auburn-haired girl wearing a stained lab coat smiles at the camera. She stands behind a kitchen counter neatly covered with small components.]
Faraday: Hello, fellow humans! My name is Joan Faraday Tanner, but please remember me as Faraday. Today is my twelfth birthday, and to celebrate, I’m going to demonstrate how to build a device I invented. I believe it can change the whole world, if we let it.
[She lifts a small device. It’s a slim cylindrical disc, two inches in diameter.]
0:30
Faraday: I call this the gravdrive. Not only is it portable, stackable, and easy to build, it ALTERS FREAKING GRAVITY. Literally.
[She places the device on the counter.]
Faraday: One by itself can’t do much. But kind of like people, if you pair them together, the effects are exponential. Yes, math fans, exponential! I’ll include some graphs in the notes, or you can click above, if you want to check out results from our tests so far.
[Hyperlinks appear at the top of the screen.]
1:00
Faraday: Not only can a gravdrive grouping be used for heat or pressure—like, I don’t know what you want to do with it yet, but I hope you’ll tell me anything cool you figure out—but most importantly, to me, is that it could allow us to plan and build long-term settlements off planet!
[She laughs.]
1:30
Faraday: My parents’ university told me I should patent and sell this invention, but I don’t want to be a seller. I want to be the one who leads us to live on the moon and beyond! When I learn how to do that, you’re all invited.
[A chaotic blur behind her slides into view, crashes into a wall, then ducks into a bathroom and slams the door.]
[LOUD singing sounds from behind the door.]
2:00
Lane: Pee pee in the potty! Poo poo in the potty! I’m doing it, Far’day!
[Faraday turns.]
Faraday: You are! Great job, little dove.
[She faces the camera again, smiling brightly.]
Faraday: That’s my baby sister, Lane. Isn’t she adorable?
[She adjusts the components on the counter, straightening them more precisely.]
2:30
Faraday: Unless your parents are weird science freak professors like mine, you’ll probably have to shop around for some of the components. I’ll list them in the post notes, but please share links in the comments if you find any of them for sale? Every time we lift someone else up, we all reach higher.
Faraday: All right, here’s how to build it. Step one…
[Transcription skips speech except for several off-hand comments, but it includes hyperlinks to written instructions.]
Faraday: If we don’t try, who will?
3:00
Faraday: Step 2...
[Hyperlink to “Updated Instructions including power variations and grouping size” ed.gra…/]
Faraday: There’s no such thing as an unimportant job.
3:30
[Toilet flushes.]
4:00
Faraday: Step 3... Maybe it’s not the best idea to let white people leave the planet though? I’m undecided on that but also biased because my dream is the moon.
4:30
[Water runs.]
Faraday: Step 4... I think we have a responsibility to try to make all our best ideas come true, don’t you? If you have an idea I could maybe help with, I want to hear about it!
[Toilet flushes again.]
5:00
[Faraday makes a concerned look at camera.]
[Wet slapping sounds come from the bathroom, followed by more water running and dripping.]
Faraday: Excuse me for a moment.
[She approaches the bathroom door and knocks.]
Faraday: Lane?
[Inaudible speech]
Faraday: Are you okay in there?
[There’s silence as Faraday raises her eyebrows at the camera.]
5:30
Lane: Nothing!!! All good here!
[Faraday crosses her fingers at the camera and returns to the counter.]
Faraday: I hope you find this helpful, and I’d love to hear from you in the comments. I don’t know if I’ll be making more videos anytime soon, because my next project is designing a model lunar city that’s inclusive, peaceful, and self-sustaining, and if I figure out how to do that, I’ll probably try to make it real and live there!
6:00
[The bathroom door opens halfway, and a small child with sopping wet curls enters the kitchen wearing a yellow sundress beneath an oversized apron, plus mismatched striped socks. She stands there stimming on her socks until Faraday says “anyway.”]
Faraday: So... Happy birthday to me! That dusty white rock in the sky could be humanity’s launchpad, the beginning of a shining new era of equality, interdependence, and exploration. That’s what I’m aiming for, anyway. Who’s with me?
Lane: Bye!
[Both girls wave at the camera, then Faraday’s hand covers the screen, presumably to turn off the recording, but audio continues.]
[Faraday laughs musically.]
Faraday: All right, little stinker, what were you doing in there?
Lane: Not me! You’re the stinker!
[Audio ends.]