Hunger spiraled through August as he waited for the elevator to reach their floor.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
He should’ve kept his mouth shut in the car. Now he had Gigi’s hot sweet scent all over him, the taste of her mouth, slightly minty, still on his tongue. Goddamn.
Her body was still close, her hand flat on his abdomen as if she didn’t want to let him go. He needed out of this fucking box. He needed to pace the floor, to remind himself of all the reasons getting inside Gigi was a bad idea because right now he couldn’t think of a single one.
He’d kissed her. That much he’d intended—to gauge her reaction. To see if she’d pull away, if she’d finally straight-out tell him to take a hike. But Christ, she hadn’t. And he hadn’t been prepared for her to respond to that degree.
She’d anchored his mouth to hers, had tangled her little tongue around it like she’d done to his cock in the shower two years ago. And now—now he was in a big fucking mess.
He either had to backpedal really quickly or go all in.
There was no in between.
Gigi hadn’t said a word, probably sensing his turmoil. A glance at her hand on his dark-blue shirt reminded him how much smaller she was. How much more fragile.
Kissing her might’ve been a bigger mistake than leaving her two years ago with unfinished business.
Ding!
The elevator door opened and August scanned the hallway before scooping up the bags and motioning Gigi ahead of him. They made their way down the teal-and-gold paisley carpet. The scent of lemon disinfectant hung in the air.
“At the end of the hall. Number 2308.”
Gigi glided down the corridor and stopped at their suite. August lowered his duffel, fished the keys out of his pocket, and opened the door.
Gigi walked inside and August entered behind her. Dropping their bags, he shut and then locked the door. “Wait here a sec.” He pulled out his Glock from his waistband and quickly swept the two-bedroom unit.
Once every inch of the space had been searched, he made his way back to the front door, where Gigi stood, hands clasped in front of her.
Her eyes met his. He’d expected her to still be heavy-lidded with desire, but instead, fire sparked from her hazel orbs.
“Care to tell me what that was about?” she demanded, propping her hands on her hips.
August picked up his duffel and passed her the backpack. “We’ve got two rooms here. Both have their own bathroom. Take your pick.”
Her nostrils flared. “Are you seriously ignoring me?”
Christ. He was acting like a coward, and leave it to Gigi to call him on his shit. He dragged a hand through his hair. He’d barely had the chance to process what’d happened in the elevator. How the fuck was he supposed to explain it to her?
“I’m not ignoring you.” His tone was flat, but he strived for patience. “And for the record, you didn’t tell me to stop.”
Her mouth popped open and then shut. “Oh, so it was a mistake? You didn’t mean to touch me? Didn’t want to kiss me?”
He closed his eyes for a beat. He’d gotten himself into this mess. Couldn’t keep his hands or mouth to himself. The truth was he’d been sunk the moment he answered her call.
A muscle in his jaw jumped. He didn’t want to fight. Sure as hell didn’t want to turn the kiss into something they both regretted. But he also couldn’t act like shit was fine.
“Look.” He enunciated the word carefully, as though speaking to an angry bear. “We should talk more about this—and we will. But for now, let’s take a breather before we say things we don’t mean.”
She kept staring at him, but some of the flames left her eyes.
“Okay?” he asked, half expecting one of her tiny fists to swing at his jaw.
She lowered her gaze. “Fine.”
“Why don’t you choose a room and unpack? I’ve gotta make a call to one of the guys.” He tossed his duffel into the small eat-in kitchen and pulled out his phone.
He needed more than to call one of the guys. He needed a lifeline.
* * *
Tears misted Gigi’s eyes as she made her way through the open-concept space, which was beautiful and modern, probably the penthouse suite. Large windows revealed stunning views of downtown. The Pacific Ocean spread out beneath Mount Rainier like a bottle of spilled blue-green ink, stealing her breath.
If things were different, this space would be . . . romantic. Dreamy.
The plush white couches and cream-colored area rug stood out on the pale hardwood floors. Photographs of mountains and whales decorated the walls, giving the space a homey feel.
Down a short hallway were two doors across from each other. One held a king-sized bed, the other a queen. She opted for the queen. August’s hulking body would be too uncomfortable in the smaller bed, and she’d be lost in one so large. The rooms were mirror images of each other with different color palettes. August’s had ocean-blue and silver tones and hers had lilac and gold.
She closed the bedroom door and sat on the firm mattress staring out at the vast view. Tears spilled onto her cheeks. She dashed them away.
Ridiculous.
How could she cry right now?
Because her body still wanted his, that’s why. The moisture between her legs and her overly sensitive lady bits were constant reminders of the tease she’d just experienced.
Something had snapped in August. A resolve he’d seemingly been clinging to had given way like a worn-down dam releasing. And she’d expected more from him. Where was the guy who would have stripped her naked as soon as they entered the suite? The man who’d devoured her without restraint? The man who’d—
Stop, Gigi.
She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her fingertips to her closed lids. August wasn’t the man he’d been two years ago. He’d spoken about his time in South America as if it’d been hell. She had no idea what he’d endured. No idea what part of him had been left behind. All she had were the bits and pieces of the August who’d kissed and touched her in the elevator.
Still, if he cared about her, why was he fighting this? Because she’d gotten engaged? Well, that shitshow was definitely over. Her feelings for Todd couldn’t have been more dead if she’d strapped a bomb to them.
Sniffling, she massaged her chest. August was hurt. That was the only explanation. She couldn’t take back that phone call from two years ago, but she remembered it as if it had happened yesterday.
“I’m back, babe,” he’d said. “I missed you. Can we get together?”
To say that she’d been shocked, that the phone call had hit her right out of left field, would be a vast understatement.
“Who’s this?” she’d asked. Only because her heart wanted to believe something her mind couldn’t comprehend. Now, though, the question sounded hurtful and callous to her ears. He’d thought about her while he was away, and not a day had passed that she hadn’t done the same.
She’d assumed he was dead. He must have thought she’d forgotten him. And lord, he couldn’t have been more wrong.
“August Hick. I’m back from my mission in South America.”
“Oh my god. I’m so glad you made it home safely. Um, but . . . I met someone. I’m seeing someone.” And even though the words had felt like thorns in her mouth, she’d kept it at that, hanging up shortly after.
What she hadn’t realized then was that August’s call had been a sign from God. A call from a guardian angel trying to save her from Todd—and from herself.
If she’d done things differently and walked out on Todd and back into August’s arms, her entire life would be different.
She wouldn’t be fighting to stay alive.
Joe wouldn’t have died.
August might be happy . . .
But there was no way to leap into a different timeline, to escape this chosen reality. All she could do was try to fix the mess she’d made. August might never want anything to do with her again, and she had to accept that he had that right.
Sucking back a breath, she pushed to her feet. Now wasn’t the time to cry. She stomped down her emotions and began to unpack her things.
She took her time getting situated. After stalling for well over half an hour, she opened the bedroom door and returned to the large island, where August sat.
“Everything okay?” she asked.
He placed his phone on the counter and lifted his mug from the stone surface. “Yeah. There’s coffee in the machine if you want some.”
She really didn’t care for coffee, but the warm, bitter scent of the caffeinated brew promised to raise her dopamine levels. Opening two cupboards, she found the mugs in the second and pulled one down.
“I’ve got Taschen’s sister, Dana, working on something,” he said, as she fixed her drink. “Does the name Val Alvarez mean anything to you?”
Gigi turned to face him and brought the rim of the cup to her lips. The sweet scent of warm cream wafted to her nose, settling her agitation. She tossed the name around her head, thinking back to when she’d been with Todd.
He hadn’t shared a lot about his business dealings with her, but occasionally a name slipped. She shook her head. “Not that I can think of. Why?”
“That’s the name the assassin gave me.”
“Mmm.” She took a sip. “He could’ve been lying.”
August shrugged. “We’ll see.” He turned his phone toward her. On it was an image of a driver’s license. “That’s the guy from the diner. Ever see him before?”
She read the name, but again, nothing clicked. “I saw him at the farmhouse when he tried to kill me,” she said dryly.
“I’ve got Dana looking into him, too. Taschen says she’s a whiz, so hopefully we get some intel soon.”
She nodded. “In the meantime, we just . . . sit and wait?”
The corner of August’s mouth twitched, and part of her ached to see his full, brilliant smile. He needed to let go of the past. Forget his resentment toward her, if not to make things less awkward, then for his own peace.
“That’s what you did in Wyoming isn’t it?”
She swished her lips to the side and back. “That was different.”
“How so?”
“For starters, I had land to roam. A gym.” She flitted her hand in the air. “Here we’re stuck in a skyscraper watching people go about their lives.”
“Temporarily,” he conceded. Leaning back in his chair, he surveyed her. “Why the sudden ants in your pants? You weren’t bothered about coming here before. You knew this was the plan.”
The silly idiom made heat crawl up her neck. She didn’t have ants in her pants, but she’d definitely had his hands in her pants barely an hour before. Her pulse sped up.
“I made things awkward,” August said, as he folded his arms over his chest. “I’m sorry.” His apology dripped with sincerity, and dammit that cut her.
She shrugged. “No need to apologize.”
“I’ve been thinking.” His gaze lowered to the counter and her stomach bunched. Intuition told her things were about to go to hell in a handbasket. “I’m going to assign someone else to be your bodyguard. I crossed the line. My judgment’s clouded and—”
Anxiety expanded in her chest and her nose burned as tears threatened to rush to the surface.
No, don’t cry. Oh, god.
She shook her head and swallowed. “You don’t need to do that.”
“Gigi—”
“Please.” Oh, great. She was begging now. Lord help her.
He got to his feet. Embarrassment boiled beneath her skin, and she once again felt as if she were in that car underwater, about to suffocate.
August stopped inches from her, his arms across his chest as if to stop himself from hugging her. Regret sat like concrete in her belly. She’d had a hand in this. Had egged him on and gotten under his skin. Yes, he’d kissed her. Yes, he’d touched her.
But she’d wanted it. All of it.
Even as he stood before her, ready to switch places with the next available man-for-hire, she wanted all of him. To hell with everything else. But she couldn’t do that. Couldn’t say any of the words that would likely make him run away even faster than he already was.
“I just—” She cleared her throat. “I trust you.”
His lips flattened to a thin line. “I haven’t been professional.”
She set her mug down on the counter. “Screw professional. You don’t need to do that with me. We have shit between us,” she said, waving her hand between their bodies. “And if we can’t be adults for a few days, then maybe we’ve got bigger issues.”
“I can’t promise I won’t make the same mistake,” he drawled.
His words were like shrapnel to the heart. If she let August walk out that door, she might never see him again—and she might not live. Because no one else could protect her like he could. Of that she was certain.
“Don’t leave. Okay? I’ll give you space.” She made her way around him and went to her bedroom, shutting the door behind her as tears coursed down her cheeks.