Chapter Twenty-two: Love and tears

The Sunday before the school dance, Mina invited Logan, my father and me to her farm for brunch. I immediately declined on behalf of my father.

“Why won’t you let me ask him? He seems pretty cool for a dad,” Mina said.

“My father and I have an agreement not to mix socially – EVER.”

“I promise I won’t say that I know anything if he comes.”

“Well that’s good and accurate because you don’t know anything and my father is not coming,” I said.

Mina rolled her eyes at me. “Fine. I’ll have to find another way of thanking him for raising you to be my family’s defender against the forces of evil.”

“Are you reading your little brother’s comic books? You sound like someone who plays D&D and probably fantasizes about Riley wearing a dark, hooded cloak.”

Plum-red circles appeared on each of Mina’s cheeks. I had guessed the truth!

“You played D&D with Riley,” I said.

Her silence was confirmation.

I remembered a question I had been meaning to ask her. “Does Javier know about Riley?”

Mina’s lips pursed. “No. It’s none of his business.”

It was my turn to roll my eyes. “Does Riley make you stupid? It doesn’t matter if you think it’s none of Javier’s business. Javier is going to make it his business and probably try to kick the crap out of your boy-toy when he finds out. And he will find out.”

“Javier is not going to the dance and even though I keep hinting, Riley hasn’t asked me. Besides, almost all our contact is by telephone or when we play games online.”

Mina looked frustrated and excited at the same time. I started to feel bad for her. I couldn’t imagine not being able to spend time with Logan every day. Disbelief still hit me when I saw his ridiculously handsome person walk toward me in the school halls, across a crowded classroom, or in the school’s parking lot. We sat next to each other in the classes we had together. During the classes I didn’t have with him, he texted me jokes, observations and – other things. I went to bed impatient to get through the night but also hoping to dream of him. I woke in the mornings thinking of him, checked my phone for his messages and hurried to school to be with him after what seemed like an endless and pointless separation.

“How long are you going to keep your relationship secret from your family,” I asked her.

She drew me toward a hallway window that looked down on the school’s front lawn below. I followed her gaze to Riley who was lounging in his usual location near an old sycamore tree. She began twisting locks of her long hair.

“I thought I’d let them get to know him again first. I got my mother to ask Poppy if Riley could come on Sunday. We both expected him to say no and make a huge stink about keeping far away from Riley.”

Mina turned to look at me with shiny eyes. “Instead, he said yes!”

“Allowing Riley to come to brunch is not anywhere near the same thing as letting him date you,” I pointed out, rather reasonably I thought.

Mina’s eyebrows snapped together and she bristled from head to toe. “Could you not be such a – a – ” Mina paused. She really wanted to say the B or C word but couldn’t bring herself to breach that line. Ophelia proudly admitted to washing her children’s mouths out with soap when the need arose.

I looked past Mina’s shoulder at Riley. An Oxford sophomore with shaggy blond hair approached him. The two engaged in a complicated set of hand grasps and fist-pumps. When the greeting began, Riley had a small object in the palm of his offered hand. When it was over, Riley’s hand was empty.

Mina had already turned away and was headed toward class. I wondered if she knew the boy she thought she loved had just sold another dime bag. I wondered if she cared.

Sunday started out hot and likely to break the record temperature for that day. The sky was that impossible clean blue color that sometimes accompanies heat and wind. The back seat of Logan’s car held stacks of empty plastic food containers that we were returning to Ophelia Reyes. We hoped for more of her delicious food in exchange.

The yard in front of the farmhouse was covered with children’s toys and screaming, crying and/or running children. Cecilia made a bee-line for Logan as soon as we drove up. He picked her up and threw her into the air, caught her and repeated the motion until the little girl was out of breath from laughing and squealing.

Cecilia turned to me then and held out her arms. “Pippi Longstocking!”

I hugged her sticky, warm body and let her rain kisses on my cheeks. She smelled of soil, corn tortillas, sun and pickles. A large beach ball lobbed past us and Cecilia squirmed away to chase it.

Some of the farm workers and uncles I recognized from Mina’s family photos lounged on chairs and benches outside the back door. Mina waved at us through a kitchen window and pointed to where Javier and Oscar were hunched over something on the veranda floor.

“Javi, how’s our MIT admissions project doing?” asked Logan as we neared.

“Little Herbie here is going to get us out of this dead town, that’s what,” said Javier as he adjusted the levers on a remote control.

I had not worked on our Shop Class project since getting caught in the explosion. I was surprised by what I saw moving across and over an obstacle course that had been constructed of chair cushions, rocks and toy blocks. The boys had figured out how to modify the legs so that it was able to traverse rough and almost vertical terrain.

Javier gave me a superior look. “See. You’re not the only one who knows how to get it done.”

I held up my hands in mock defeat. “Q be you.”

“Succinct 007 reference,” said Logan as he put an arm around my shoulders. “Color me impressed.”

Javier frowned. “Q? That’s the geek in the white coat who’s stuck underground and never sees any action.”

“But he make things go boom,” I pointed out.

A leer spread across Javier’s face.

I tried to stop him before the words left his lips. “Don’t –“

“I don’t need a secret lab to make sweet boom-boom.”

“Yuck,” I said.

Javier laughed and hit my arm with a loose fist. For better or worse, I was being accepted as “one of the guys.”

Logan took the remote from Javier and put the robot through its paces. “If a camera were mounted on the chassis, you could use it as a scout in hostile or inhospitable environments like the moon – or Sde-Or’s classroom after hours.”

I closed one eye and looked at Logan with the other one. If he wore a tuxedo and slicked back his hair, he could be James Bond’s better looking nephew. He grinned at me and put his face close to mine as if to kiss me.

“Enough of that. Isn’t that why it took you two so long to get out here?” asked Mina.

She held a platter of quesadilla triangles that oozed with a mixture of hot cheese and fresh chilies. I elbowed Logan aside and took three pieces before the boys emptied the plate.

Through a mouth full of food Oscar asked, “When is the real food coming? I’m starving.”

Oscar had just gulped down more than half the recommended daily calories for a boy of his size. As I looked at him in wonder, I noticed a plume of dust rising into the sky beyond his head. A dark SUV was traveling up the road to farmhouse – slowly navigating the treacherous potholes. It was a car I had never seen on the farm before. On reflex, my hands skimmed the pockets of my jacket and pants for the weapons hidden there.

Mina shoved the empty plate into Javier’s hands and moved to meet the car.

“Mina, wait! Do you know who that is?” I asked, about to follow her.

Logan took hold of my arm to stop me. “It’s Riley,” he said. “I’ve seen him dealing from his car at night when I use the school track.”

I looked at him. The lines of his face were hard and sharp in an expression of cold dislike.

Javier came up to the porch railing beside us and looked on as Mina greeted Riley. “I can’t wait to see how Uncle kicks his ass off the farm.”

Riley should have been too far away to hear Javier. But he swung his head around to face us and I could see our judgmental reflections in the silvered lenses of his sunglasses. He lifted an arm to send us a brief wave before settling it around Mina’s shoulders. Two red patches appeared on her cheeks and she looked ready to burst from pleasure.

“She’s always made it on the school’s honor roll and she’s always been a total moron about that guy,” said Javier.

“You knew?” I said.

“I’m not blind,” he said. “But she’s not going to listen to me. Her dad, though – what that man says goes. He is not going to let anyone with a high probability of populating a supermax prison corrupt his princess.”

Looking at Javier’s clenched fists, I decided not to share that Mina already had her father’s permission for Riley’s attendance.

We watched as Mina led Riley toward her parents across the yard.

Javier tapped Logan and Oscar on their arms. “Get ready in case Mina’s dad needs us to escort the skin-head off the premises.”

It took a moment for Ophelia to recognize the newest arrival. She cast a hesitant look at her husband before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around Riley.

“Riley! You’ve become so handsome. How is your dear mama?”

He said something to Mina’s mother that I couldn’t hear. Then he turned toward Mr. Reyes and put out his hand.

“Wait for it---” revved Javier.

Some sort of internal struggle played out across the face of Mina’s father. There was no sign of welcome in the man’s expression. He finally clasped Riley’s hand in his own.

“Asshole!” Javier muttered. He repeated the word three more times glaring at the scene across the yard. After a moment, he yanked car keys out of his pocket and headed towards his car. Oscar followed obediently and cast only one longing look at the picnic tables being loaded with food.

Logan stood beside me with clenched fists. “Another one bites the dust.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I haven’t had many positive male role models in my life. I thought Mina’s dad might be one. By not terminating that drug-dealer’s ass for touching Mina, Mr. Reyes just shook hands with the devil.”

I didn’t disagree. But I wasn’t ready to condemn the man just yet. “They’re decent people. Mina sees a lot of good in Riley and she’s not stupid.”

“She’s anything but stupid. And yeah, the Reyeses are very decent. But it just makes them that much more vulnerable to evil. They don’t understand how it works. ”

I just looked at him. I had yet to tell him I knew who his father was.

“My mother was raised in a convent. She was groomed to be the innocent, gullible wife of a powerful man. She thought she loved my father when they were first married because she didn’t know that men like him existed in the world outside of bible stories.”

Logan had allowed me to see more of his mother. He had shared some of his worries about her health and mental state. “She’s not getting better, is she?” I asked.

“No.” Logan turned so that his back faced everyone but me, so that only I could see tears blur his eyes.

“She keeps losing weight and she’s terrified all the time. She’s afraid to let me out of her sight. I wake up in the middle of the night to find her standing by my door – just staring at me.”

He took my hands in his and squeezed. “I don’t know how much longer she can go without cracking. If the Feds find out how bad she really is, they might put us in protective custody.”

He put his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. “I don’t want them to take me away from you. I can’t lose you.”

I wiped away the one tear that escaped down his cheek and kissed him.

We heard Cecelia’s “No!” just before her little body squirmed between us. She pushed at my legs with all her strength.

“He’s mine! I’m going to marry him!”

Logan released me and put on his cool and charming public face. The need that had gripped him retreated but stayed alive in his eyes whenever they met mine.

He tucked Cecelia under one arm like a football and carried her toward the tables. “Cece, I’m too old for you. By the time you’re ready to get married, I’ll need help chewing and tying my shoelaces.”

“I’ll help you! You can get Velcro shoes like Gordito!”

“I won’t be able to throw you up in the air and you’ll have to change my diapers.”

She fell silent at that and craned her neck to look up at Logan’s face.

“Diapers are yucky. Your diapers would be very big.”

After brunch, Logan organized a soccer game with some of the farmhands and the children. I watched from the sidelines as he coached the younger children so that each one had a chance at kicking the ball. At other moments, he ran the ball across the field with such grace and speed I wanted to tackle him to the ground and absorb him through my skin.

Then a woman’s panicked shriek broke my obsession. A toddler had gotten into the path of a horde of running children. Before I could jump to my feet, Logan was there. He tossed the child, Mina’s youngest cousin, onto a shoulder and ran forward to make a steal. They crossed the distance to a goal where Logan stood him on the ground. The little boy swiped at the ball a few times before his foot connected. Both teams erupted in cheers as the ball rolled across the goal line. Logan’s laughter reached across the distance and made my body hum in response. Like little Cecilia, I wanted to run to him and leap into his arms.

“Love is like jumping off the high board.”

Riley’s low voice surprised me. Focused on the field and Logan, I hadn’t noticed his approach. He lay on the grass near me; dark glasses shielded his eyes.

“Everything is great at first,” he continued. “The wind blows through your hair and lifts you up. You feel like you’re flying – that anything is possible. All the while, the earth is rushing at your body, ready to crush it. If you’re lucky, there’s water in the pool. If the pool is dry, you fill it with your blood and tears.”

He raised himself on one elbow and pointed to the M shaved into the back of his head. “I let people think it’s advertising for my trade. But it’s really for Mina.”

He must have seen surprise in my face. He nodded and said, “Yeah. I’m deep – no bottom to this well.”

Across the field, light reflected off Mina’s long hair as she jumped up and down beside her siblings and cousins with more cheerleading spirit than coordination. She looked to Riley and smiled, waving her arms like someone making angel wings in the air.