“I hate these mirrors!” the queen shouted one morning. She hurried across the room from her mirror to a bookshelf. “What is it, my queen?” asked the cat.
“Why is it that every day when I look at one of those wretched things, the only things I see are more wrinkles and furrows and unwanted hairs in unwanted places?” She took a book of magic spells from the bookshelf and thumbed through its contents. She threw it down and grabbed another, and yet another after that.
“Nothing!” she wailed dejectedly. “None of my books have even one spell to slow the aging process, much less anything to restore my former youth and beauty.”
“Well, of course not, your majesty,” the cat retorted. “To do that would require some heavy-duty magic, a magic of the black variety, if you know what I mean. In order to turn back the hands of time and restore you to the way you once were would require access to the kind of magic that only a very powerful witch or wizard would possess.”
“Why Caterwaul, my love, you were once enthralled to a witch. You told me yourself that while you were with her you learned quite a bit of magic. Do you possess the necessary skills to restore my lost beauty?”
“I am afraid not, my queen,” he said. “That kind of mischief is way out of my league. Even if I did have that kind of power, I would be afraid to use it. Trust me. There are some forces in this world that are just not worth trifling with.”
“A pity,” she lamented, “because I would give anything, perhaps even my entire kingdom, to possess that knowledge.” She stroked Caterwaul’s fur, and the cat purred contentedly. “Take you, for example. You are a cat and you are beautiful and you will keep hold of that beauty for nine lives.
“If only there was a spell that could give me that kind of beauty and longevity. Just imagine that, Caterwaul. How wonderful would it be if I, Druciah, could rule the land for nine lifetimes, the most beautiful and powerful of queens ever to walk the earth? I would be virtually immortal.”
Caterwaul briefly considered explaining to her that the whole “nine-lives” thing was actually more of an expression than something to be taken literally, but then he thought better of it. She was in a terrible mood, and there was no use in upsetting her further.
“Oh, why can’t I be beautiful again, my pet? I really would give anything to not have to see what I’ve become every time I look in a mirror. Is there anything that you can do, anything at all to help me?”
“Well,” he said joking, “I suppose I could put a curse on all the castle’s mirrors. We could make it a curse that would turn you from a human into something else—perhaps a cat like me, or something silly like that—if you glanced into one. That would make you think twice before looking at a mirror, wouldn’t it? Ha ha, wouldn’t it?” he repeated, laughing.
The queen looked at him, and he could tell that, though he had only been joking around, she was seriously considering this. “You could do this for me?” she asked. “Oh Caterwaul, if you will do this for me, I will share the castle with you.”
“Share the . . . the castle? You mean to say that this huge castle would be partly mine?” He could not believe his ears.
“You would like that wouldn’t you, Caterwaul? I mean we share it right now, don’t we? You are my only true friend in the world. My life has become so much more enjoyable since you first arrived. Why not make it official? Wouldn’t that be wonderful?”
She went on. “You could remake half the castle in your image. Design it to what you think cats would enjoy. And then you could invite your new cat friends over to enjoy it with us. I do so much prefer the company of cats to that of dreary old humans.”
“Yes, of course . . .” Caterwaul stammered, surprised. “I mean, I suppose I could. But why would you want me to do it? I mean, aren’t there enough unwanted cats in the world already? The sudden appearance of more could create a lot of problems. Who would take care of them all?
“And what if you were to forget that all of the mirrors were cursed, and you accidentally looked into one? You don’t really think that you would be happy as a cat? Do you, my queen?”
But the wheels were already turning inside her corrupt mind. “Oh don’t worry, my dear. If there is a sudden rise in the feline population, things won’t be so bad. The people who remain will just have to take care of them. And they will, Caterwaul, because now the cats will literally be part of their family. And those cats that don’t have someone to love them can come live here with us in the castle. We have more than enough room here at Castle Cathoon. Oh Caterwaul, it will be a paradise.” She was positively beaming.
“But remember my beloved pet, it must be every single mirror in my kingdom; you have to curse them all.”
Druciah chuckled—no, it was more of a cackle of delight.
She thought to herself: every time that a beautiful young girl and a handsome man even glanced at a mirror, they will be transformed. Pretty soon, there will be cats everywhere, and people will wonder what happened to all of their loved ones. Eventually, the people will catch on, and they will smash every mirror in the kingdom, but by then the damage will be done.
“Oh vanity, thy name is Kitty,” she whispered as she turned her mirror around to face the wall.
“I imagine the mouse population will suffer some,” Caterwaul joked, not really expecting any kind of response. And it was a good thing he was being rhetorical, because the queen was far away, lost in her own thoughts.
“Druciah, my queen,” Caterwaul became serious again. “Just assume that I can do this for you, my dear friend. You know that it really isn’t going to solve the root problem here. You are going to continue getting older. It’s a part of nature, and because of this, it’s unfortunately unavoidable. Unless . . .” his voice trailed off as he was thinking.
The cat jumped from his resting place and took a seat beside Druciah on the couch. She rubbed the top of his head with her nails the way he liked it.
“You said unless . . .” she said, continuing the head massage.
He purred ecstatically as if to say don’t stop, that feels wonderful.
“Please, by all means continue my pet.”
He leaned his head back. This is very satisfying, he thought, and then he continued. “As I have said many times, my queen, my powers are limited. However, during my time spent living with the Witch of Red Moon Forest, I learned that there may be a way to bring back your youth.” He stretched his whole body contentedly.
He continued, “Performing anything as bold as this requires black magic, and black magic usually comes with a heavy price. But the Witch of Red Moon Forest is well versed in the forbidden arts. As far as I can recall, she retains in her cave a collection of spells that can lead to the creation of a confection that just might be what you’re looking for.” The words flowed from his mouth like a song.
He shifted his position and spoke earnestly, “But I don’t know if she will even see you, much less agree to help you.” Druciah stroked his back delicately, running her long, bony fingers from his shoulders all the way to the end of his bushy, black tail.
“And even getting to her is going to be a challenge. It will take you many days, perhaps even a week or more, just to reach Red Moon Forest. Then once you’re there, you will have to find the entrance. I would wait for nightfall before going in.”
He waited for her to resume his massage before continuing his instructions. “Once inside the forest, you’ll see a path that has seen scant use in recent years. It’s become a little bit overgrown. If you stay on this path, you soon will learn that there are three perils, which you must endure.
“First you must gain the respect of the Parliament of Possums, who can be a real pain in the hindquarters. They’re marsupials, you see. They think that it’s their job to make the laws of the forest, and the Witch is happy to let them go right on thinking it.
“But they’re just your typical politicians. They look all high and mighty, but get next to nothing done. Let me tell you, the only thing worse than a politician is a politician with a pouch. I never liked possums much, with their white faces and pink noses; they think they’re so important. Possums . . . rats in trees are more like it.” He realized he was going off on a tangent.
“But you can’t kill them. So you will have to make that especially clear to your guards. No matter how much they frustrate you, don’t make any hostile moves, or you might as well just come right back home. You need them. Only they can guide you to the next challenge.
“Now this second peril is far more difficult. If the possums trust you, they will send you down along a trail, which will take you to an enormous, hollow oak tree. The tree is massive, so there is no way you can miss it as long as you follow the right trail.
“Once you get there you will have to be extra careful, because inside that tree lives a very large and eccentric snapping turtle named Joffrey, who is extremely dangerous. He is quite a neat freak, and he hates visitors. If you disrupt a single leaf or disturb even one stone, he will snap you in half. He fancies himself quite the decorator, so keep that in mind.” Caterwaul again started to go off on a tangent. “He’s actually very good though . . . I’ve learned a few things about décor from him myself.
“Finally, you will have to deal with the poison dart frogs of Bug Stool Creek. If you can figure out a way to get by them, then you can follow the creek bed about half a kilometer, and this will lead you to the cave the Witch calls home. If she agrees to see you, you may be able to make a deal, but again I can offer you no guarantees.”
The cat licked his paw. “There will probably be some other unanticipated dangers you will come across too. So if you are going, make sure to take at least four of your best guards with you for protection, smart ones if you can find them.
“Be sure that you take that animal Warwick Vane Bezel III with you too. He just might come in handy if you find yourself in a pickle. But remember, guys like that can get you killed, so make sure he keeps his mouth shut and his eyes open.
“I’ll be here when you get back.” He curled up on a pillow as if to go to sleep.
“You mean you will not go with me?” asked the queen.
“Absolutely not!” he declared. “That forest is dangerous. I was only able to escape before because I had learned enough magic to do so. It is going to take you many days before you even get to the forest. So of course, I’m staying here. As far as I’m concerned, one trip through the Forest of Red Moon is enough for a lifetime, or even nine.
“Besides, if I am able to pull off this ‘cursed mirror’ spell for you, it’s going to wipe me out. I’m just a cat, so I’m small. Performing any kind of real magic takes a toll on the user. I’ve been unconscious for days after performing relatively minor incantations. Something this big will likely put me out for a week or more. If you want the mirrors cursed, then I will be staying here.”
Druciah agreed. “Okay, cat. You can stay behind. But before you get too comfortable, you need to know that by tonight I expect every mirror in the kingdom to be turning people into cats.
“In fact,” she said, “why not start with this one here? It will be a test to see how much you learned from that Witch. No use setting off on a long journey unless I know the end prize is obtainable.”
Caterwaul’s whiskers twitched as he silently mouthed an incantation. The queen squinted to try to see what it was he said, but was unable to transpose the cat’s lip movements. It was obvious, though, that the spell was siphoning away his energy.
The queen turned the surface of the mirror toward the door and called for one of her guards. As soon as he came within sight of the mirror, he saw his reflection and instantly transformed into a small gray cat.
“Excellent,” she laughed elatedly and clapped her hands. “I guess that means I’m off to see the Witch.” She obscured the mirror with a silken red cover.
“When I get back, you can release the spell, but let’s have a little fun for a while.” As she left the room, she was practically skipping, the way little girls sometimes do. She called back to Caterwaul, “Remember to do something with all the palace mirrors before you cast your spell. I don’t want to come home to a castle full of cats.”
Caterwaul could hear her wild laughter echoing through the castle halls.