I roll onto my back and use my hand to block the sun. Spencer leans over and plants a kiss on my shoulder.
“What are you looking at?” he asks.
“Nothing… just staring at the clouds.”
We both look to the left as Arte comes charging at us, barking as loudly as she can manage. I start laughing as she launches herself through the air and lands right on Spencer. He scoops her up and kisses her on the nose before setting her back down on the grass.
“She’s so wonderful.”
“I know,” I say. “Thank you so much for getting her… I can’t believe how much I already love her.”
“I totally get it… she’s so cute and has such a funny personality.”
“I know. I feel like she’s going to grow up to be a really amazing dog.”
“Yeah… I think you’re right. I never imagined that I would feel this way about a dog.”
“Really?”
“No… I mean… it’s not like I didn’t want one, but it’s hard with our schedules. I felt bad about you being here alone, so I figured you could use a friend.”
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I fish it out before responding to Spencer.
“Who is it?” he asks.
“It’s a text from Brian.”
Amy, I just talked to an editor over at Ence. The photos are ready and they sent them over here for me to approve, but I told them it was something that you would have to sign off on. Did you want to stop in to see them or did you just want me to send them over to you via email?
“What does he want?”
I hand my phone over to Spencer and he reads it.
“Do you want to stop by there on the way to lunch?”
“No, I’d rather spend every moment I can with you… and with your mom and Dex.”
“Awww.”
“I’m serious.”
I give him a little elbow to the ribs and he responds by rolling over and wrapping his arm around me.
“I’m really in love with you,” he says.
“I’m really in love with you, too.”
Spencer props himself up with his elbow and looks down on me. I lower my hand since his head is now blocking the sun. Our eyes meet and neither of us says a word for the next minute. A smile slowly forms on my face as I savor every second I get to spend with the man I love.
“What?” he asks.
“Nothing… I’m just happy.”
Arte flies by us as she runs toward the house. Spencer turns to look at what she’s doing and he jumps up. I frown as I sit up to look at what drew their attention—it’s Dex and Brenda. They are standing at the back door and currently being accosted by our vicious guard dog.
“Are you ready to go to lunch?” Brenda says, as she manages to slip around Arte.
I nod as I stand up. Arte has flopped over by the back door and Dex is rubbing her belly as if his life depended on it. I know she’s still a puppy, but it’s hard to imagine her becoming anything other than a total love bug. It’s not to say that it won’t be nice to have a guard dog… it’s just that she should know it’s OK to be happy and silly when we’re around.
“Yeah,” Spencer says, “I think so.”
“What about this little girl?” Dex asks.
“I was thinking we could go somewhere with a patio. That way we can sit outside and just bring her with us. Like maybe… that burger place over in Malibu.”
“Sure, that sounds fine.”
I brush the grass off of Spencer’s back as we head inside. Arte runs between us and heads toward the front door, almost as if she knows we’re leaving and wants to make sure we take her along.
“Are you sure you’re OK getting those pictures emailed to you?” Spencer asks.
“What pictures?” Brenda asks.
“I did a photo shoot for Ence and they sent the proofs to my agent. He wants me to check them out and approve them before the magazine goes ahead with printing them.”
“Did you need to go pick them up?”
“No… I’ll have him send them to my phone and I can just check them out at lunch.”
We get our stuff together and I put Arte’s leash on. Brenda and Dex get into his car and we get into Spencer’s. I get Arte situated in my lap as Spencer backs out of the driveway.
“I was thinking we could go get your car after lunch,” he says.
“Sure… that’s fine.”
I miss seeing my little car in the driveway. Leaving it at the set should be fairly safe, but after what happened to my first car… well… I’m not all that eager to leave my car out of my sight for any longer than necessary.
I take my phone out of my purse and text Brian back to let him know about the pictures.
Hey, thanks for texting me. I’m actually headed to lunch with my family, so could you just send them to me and I’ll look them over? I’m sure they’re fine, but I guess I should at least take a peep at them.
My phone vibrates a few seconds later with his reply.
Sure. I’ll have someone scan them and send you high resolution versions of them so you can zoom in or whatever. Let me know if you don’t receive them within the next hour or so. If you’re happy with them, just send me a text and I’ll let Ence know so they can move forward with the article.
“Is everything OK?” Spencer asks.
“Yeah… just texting Brian.”
“Oh… good.”
“Yeah… I’m excited to show you the photos.”
“Really?”
“Yes… I think they came out cute.”
I didn’t tell Spencer about the photos with Arte, so I’m sure he’ll be surprised when he sees them. I’m actually looking forward to seeing them and I think I’ll see if anyone at Ence can get me a full size print of a couple of the shots. It would be fun to have a big framed picture of Arte and me. I glance over at Spencer just as he yawns.
“How are you feeling?” I ask.
“Eh… I’m tired.”
“Maybe we should go home and take a nap later.”
“Yes… I could go for a nap.”
He’s never been much of a napper, as long as I’ve known him, but I can tell that the jet lag has started to hit him pretty hard.
“As soon as you get used to the time change,” I say, “you’re going to be back in Russia.”
“I know… it’s silly, but I couldn’t pass on a chance to see my baby… and meet the little one.”
I smile and look down at Arte. She was crazy earlier, just running in circles, but now she’s fast asleep on my lap.
“She’s an angel.”
Spencer looks over and smiles.
“She really is.”
We spend the rest of the drive just talking about silly things that have happened on both our sets… going back and forth, each of us trying to outdo the other with a crazy event. I give up and let Spencer wins when he tells me about how one of the actors lost his costume and ended up walking into the middle of a shot with nothing on but his boxers.
Spencer pulls into the parking lot of the burger joint and we get out of the car. Arte yawns, her eyes still closed, as we walk toward the front door. Dex pulls into the spot next to us and they get out of his car.
“Ready?” Spencer asks.
Brenda nods and steps up to her son and starts talking to him. I lag behind on purpose so I can talk to Dex as we walk toward the patio of the restaurant.
“So, how are you feeling?” he asks.
“Pretty good… much better than last night.”
“You’re not still dizzy… are you?”
“No… I was a tiny bit last night… but it was gone when I woke up this morning.”
“Good… I’m glad to hear it.”
I glance up and see that Brenda is talking to the hostess, who has menus in hand and is guiding them to a table on the far end of the fenced in area. Each table has an umbrella and there’s adequate shade for Arte. We take our seats at the table and I set her down on the ground. I loop her leash around the arm of my chair and she starts to wander away almost instantly. She reaches the end of her leash and looks over her shoulder at me. If I didn’t know any better, I would say she’s giving me an irritated look.
Spencer is watching her when I look over at him. I pick up my menu and try to find something that looks good. I’m not that hungry, but I guess I should eat some protein since my breakfast was a cupcake and a sugary coffee.
“What’s good here?” I ask.
“Everything,” Dex and Spencer say, in unison.
Brenda laughs and shakes her head. Our server comes to the table within a couple of minutes. I look up and notice that everyone already set their menu back on the table. I guess I’m the only one who isn’t sure of what to order.
“What can I get you?”
Brenda goes first and orders a cheeseburger and fries. Dex is next… and orders the same thing. The server looks at me, but I glance back down at the menu.
“Sorry… I’m not quite ready yet.”
I’m debating ordering a chicken sandwich, but I’m not convinced.
“I’ll have a cheeseburger with cheddar,” Spencer says.
“Fries or onion rings?”
“Fries, please.”
“Anything to drink?”
“Whatever IPA you have on tap.”
“Absolutely.”
I sigh and look up to see everyone looking at me.
“I guess… I’ll have a burger.”
“Do you want cheese on it?”
“Yes… Swiss, please.”
“Fries or onion rings?”
I wonder if he gets tired of asking that question hundreds of times a day.
“Onion rings, thanks… and just water.”
He nods as he finishes scribbling our order down on his pad.
“I’ll go put this in and I’ll be right back with your drinks.”
I look down and see that Arte has found her way under the table and is sniffing around to see if she can find anything tasty to eat. I take my phone out of my pocket and put it on the table so I can see when Brian texts me. The green light in the corner lights up to indicate I already have a new message. Weird. My phone has been in my pocket since we got out of the car and I didn’t feel it vibrate. There is indeed a text from him, with six photos attached. Three are of me in the dress and three are of me in my own clothes, with Arte.
Here are the pictures. Let me know what you think.
I open the first picture, one of me in the dress and zoom in on it. Brian wasn’t kidding about send full size photos. I accidentally zoom in on my arm and it’s still perfectly clear. I zoom back out a little and move it so my body takes up the screen. The longer I stare at the picture… the less I like it. I’m not sure what it is… but something about it feels off.
“What’s wrong?” Spencer asks.
I look up and notice him looking at me.
“Huh?”
“You have a… perplexed look on your face.”
“Oh… it’s just this photo… something is off with it.”
“Let me see.”
I hand the phone over to Spencer and take a deep breath. I mean… it looks like me… but at the same time it doesn’t. So strange. Spencer stares at the photo for almost a minute. He zooms in and out repeatedly on different parts of it. He finally hands my phone back and shakes his head.
“They edited the photo,” Spencer says.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s subtle… kind of.”
“Why can’t I see it. Something doesn’t look right, but I can’t figure it out.”
“Look at your neck… and then your face.”
I zoom in on my neck and then move to my face.
“Why does it look… strange?”
“They slimmed down your neck,” Spencer says.
“What?”
I look down at the photo again… and he’s right.
“It’s hard to notice, but you’re right… it feels off. I’m sure it’s only because we are both used to looking at you. I don’t think anyone who doesn’t know you would notice.”
“Why would they do this?” I ask.
Spencer takes a deep breath and glances over at his mom. She is looking at her son… hanging on every one of his words.
“I think they were trying to make you look skinnier.”
“What?”
“Yeah. It looks like they wanted you to appear a few pounds lighter… so they did it.”
I’m not even sure what to think. Would they really do that? Christian seemed like such a nice guy, once I got to know him, so it’s hard for me to imagine that he would allow the photos to be edited like this.
“Wow,” I say, “that’s kind of messed up.”
I shake my head and look back at my phone. A quick check of the rest of the photos reveals that they are all the same—edited to make me look skinnier. I set my phone down on the table and take a deep breath.
“Are you OK?” Spencer asks.
“Not really… but there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“Well… you can tell them you don’t approve of the photos.”
I slowly nod my head as I try to figure out what to do. I’m still in shock.
“Excuse me,” I say, as I stand up from the table, “I need to make a phone call.”
Spencer reaches out and squeezes my hand.
I pull up Brian’s number and hit call as I walk back toward the parking lot. Making a call like this during our lunch is bad enough, but I don’t want to be within earshot because it’ll just distract them for no reason. The line rings three times before he finally picks up.
“Amy… how are you?”
“I… not good, Brian.”
“What’s wrong?”
“The photos.”
“What do you mean? Did you get them?”
“Yes… I got them. They edited them to make me look skinnier.”
There’s silence from the other end of the line.
“Are you still there?” I ask.
“Yes… sorry. I realize they touched them up, but that’s fairly common.”
“You really think that’s all it is? I had Spencer look at one of them and we both agree that it doesn’t quite look like me anymore.”
“I’m sorry, Amy, but it’s a very common thing to do.”
I feel betrayed. Christian was so kind to me and said that I would have a future in modeling if acting didn’t work out. What he didn’t mention was that I would need to lose weight.
“But it’s not me.”
“Look… just take a deep breath.”
I do as he says, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.
“I get that you’re upset,” Brian says, “but this isn’t a big deal. Basically every photo you’ve ever seen of an actress or model has been edited and often times much more than these. This is so minor… you shouldn’t be bothered one bit.”
I look back toward the restaurant and see our server back at the table with drinks. I hate that this is what I’m doing with my time—I want to spend it with Spencer, not arguing on the phone with my agent.
“I get what you’re saying… but that’s not me. I’m not everyone else in Hollywood.”
“Amy… do you want to be an actress who turns down jobs because she’s busy… or do you want to struggle to get roles?”
I glance back at the table and see Spencer talking to Dex and his mom. I already know what I think… and I’m pretty sure that Spencer would agree with me.
“I want to be true to who I am… that’s the only thing that really matters.”
“So… you’re willing to risk it all because they edited your photos just a little?”
I frown and look down at the ground. Brian has always been on my side, so I’m not sure what changed.
“I don’t want to be like every other woman in Hollywood… I won’t do it.”
“Fine. I’ll call Ence and tell them to pull the article.”
Brian hangs up before I can respond. That was certainly not the kind of conversation I was expecting to have with him. I just kind of assumed he’d take my side and try to come to an understanding with the magazine. I slide my phone into my pocket and head back to our table.
Our server has come with the food and has already left by the time I sit down.
“How did it go?” Spencer asks.
I look over at him and shake my head.
“Not well.”
“What happened?” Brenda asks.
I take a deep breath as I prepare myself to explain what Brian said.
“Basically… Brian, my agent, told me that it wasn’t a big deal that Ence edited the photos of me… and that it’s common for publications to make models look thinner.”
Dex shakes his head and looks at me, but he doesn’t seem to be able to find the words to tell me what he thinks about the whole thing.
“Wow… seriously?” Brenda asks.
“Yeah… I was kind of surprised. Brian has been a strong advocate for me… so it’s weird that he would put that kind of pressure on me. He basically said if I didn’t let them use the photos it would become very difficult for me to get acting jobs.”
“Really?” Spencer asks.
“Yes. He made it pretty clear that if I didn’t go along with their edits that it would make my life very difficult.”
“What did you tell him?”
“I told him ‘that’s not who I am and I’m not going to be just another Hollywood actress’. He didn’t seem that pleased and got off the phone as quickly as possible. Brian said he would relay it to the editor at Ence, but he wasn’t pleased… and I wouldn’t be all that surprised if I’m going to have to find a new agent.”
Spencer puts his hand on my thigh and gives it a light squeeze.
“I’m proud of you,” Spencer says. “You refuse to be a part of the system that tells young women what they are supposed to look like. I think you’re perfect… in every way.”
“Thanks.”
I smile at him and nod. It’s nice to hear that from him, but I still feel pretty upset about the whole thing.
“Don’t listen to Brian,” Dex says. “There’re plenty of great agents in this city… and they would all be lucky to have you as a client. If he’s not willing to defend who you are as a person, there’s no reason for him to represent you.”
I nod and look down at the table. I feel like Dex is right… I’m just a little worried about the fallout from this. Whatever… there’s nothing I can do about it because I’m not about to let them publish those photos.
“We should eat,” I say, “I’m sure our food is getting cold.”
I reach for an onion ring and take a bite out of it. Is it possible that I’m going to have a hard time going forward because I don’t fit the typical Hollywood mold? I’ve always been happy with my body and how I look… but now I’m starting to wonder if there was some truth to what Brian said. I’m going to try to not think about it anymore… not today at least—I’m having lunch with my three favorite people in the world and I don’t want to miss out on another second of that.