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They left for the Goodwin estate the very next day. Maria had written a letter to Margaret the night before, but it wouldn’t reach Gustaf and her before Maria and King Jonathan were already at the manor. She would have no way of knowing what instructions Gustaf had for her. Maybe that was part of King Jonathan's plan.
The carriage lumbered along the road. It was raining and the road was muddy which didn’t at all help with the comfort of travelling. It was exactly like the day that Maria had arrived at the castle.
Unlike Gustaf, Jonathan didn’t seem to be able to sleep in a trundling carriage. Maria decided that the best thing was to try to sleep the whole way, so she didn’t feel like she needed to talk to him. It seemed awkward to sit across from each other and not say a word. Or at least she would pretend to be sleeping; because of the uneven roads she was being thrown from side to side, making it truly difficult to look like she was asleep.
The carriage drove into a particularly deep hole and Maria was thrust forward towards King Jonathan sitting opposite her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and helped her back in her seat.
Despite wearing both a thick fur-lined cloak, a dense woolen dress and a shift of the finest, softest wool, Maria was still convinced that she could feel the warmth of his hands through her clothes. She looked down at them as they rested in his lap. He was wearing thick leather gloves. There really was something wrong with her, she thought as she mumbled a thank you.
“I’ve never understood how people can sleep in carriages,” King Jonathan said.
Maria nodded.
“I know,” she said.
King Jonathan’s face had a quizzical look but a slight smile as well.
“But you were just sleeping?” he asked, pointing at her seat.
Maria looked down at the seat.
“Not really,” she said.
Jonathan gave a short, dry laugh.
“So, you would rather pretend to be asleep than have to talk to me?” he observed. She couldn’t tell from his tone of voice if he was hurt by that or simply stating the facts. But she felt like she couldn’t get away with lying.
“Gustaf can be sound asleep even if the ride is much bumpier than this,” Maria said, to change the subject. “When we were travelling to the wedding, it took us three days, because the roads were so bad, but he could just sleep through it all.”
She held her breath after saying that. She had just realized that she had been making small talk with King Jonathan about his mortal enemy.
King Jonathan didn’t seem to mind. She wondered what had changed. He had stopped ignoring her and now he was inviting her on this trip. Could it be a trap somehow?
“Valdemar is the same,” he said. “It drives me crazy every time we have to go somewhere together. He falls asleep the moment the carriage starts driving, leaving me to hear him snoring all the way.”
Maria smiled at him, thankful that he hadn’t taken it the wrong way.
“You seem really fond of Valdemar,” she commented, thinking that his brother was a much safer topic than her own.
“I am,” Jonathan said. “He has always been the happy baby brother, adored by everyone. I am sure that he was the favorite of both my parents,” Jonathan explained, looking away as if seeing a glimpse of his childhood.
“Not you?” Maria asked, surprised, without thinking of where the conversation would go and that maybe this was too personal. But again, Jonathan didn’t seem to mind.
“No, isn’t the youngest always the parents’ favorite?” he asked.
Maria shook her head.
“Not in my family at least,” she said. “My mother’s favorite was always Gustaf. My father's favorite was my older brother Torsten. He died when he was 15.”
She leaned her head back, against the wall of the carriage.
“I’m sorry I brought it up,” Jonathan said.
Maria looked at him and sat up straight again. The ride was too bumpy for her to lean her head against the wall. She shrugged and looked out the window.
“We’re here now!” she exclaimed as she recognized the place where they turned off the main road and down the drive towards the estate. She was thankful that she didn’t have to talk to Jonathan anymore. The conversation had become too personal.
The estate almost rose out of the beginning darkness. Maria couldn’t see all of it but knew that it was impressive. When the carriage stopped, she waited for Jonathan to get out, then she was helped out herself.
Peter, Lord Goodwin, and his wife greeted them both very formally. Both tall and blonde like the rest of their family, Maria had always felt like the odd one out among the Goodwins. They had treated her no different though and she still regarded both Peter and Eleanor as her family. Maria reached out and took Eleanor’s hands.
“It is so good to see you,” she said as they followed the two men into the castle. She had known Eleanor since the latter married the present Lord Goodwin, Peter, more than ten years ago. Eleanor was about the same age as Maria, but Maria had always admired her greatly. There was something in Eleanor’s elegance and style that Maria felt that she could never obtain herself.
They were led into the impressive dining room where Maria had shared so many meals with them as well as her former husband, Peter’s older brother.
“We thought you might be hungry,” Peter said and pointed towards the table where a couple of dishes had already been placed and servants were bringing several more.
“How thoughtful,” Maria said and smiled at him.
They moved to sit down, but Jonathan remained standing.
“I would prefer to go to my room,” he said.
“Certainly, Your Majesty,” Peter replied and moved away from the table. “I will have a servant show you right away. Would you like to have some food brought to your room, Your Majesty?” he asked.
Jonathan shook his head and left the room following one of Peter's servants. Maria sat down and poured some food unto her plate. She was starving, almost so much that she didn’t feel bad that Jonathan had been rude to Peter and Eleanor. She felt responsible for him somehow even though it was him that had brought her and not the other way around.
They started eating, chatting about how Peter and Eleanor’s children were doing and how Maria’s life was at court.
“Are you sure that he will give us the islands?” Peter then asked all of a sudden.
“Peter!” Eleanor exclaimed loudly. “We agreed that we wouldn’t bring this up until tomorrow.”
“He has told me that he will,” Maria said, ignoring Eleanor. “We should discuss this tomorrow,” she suggested, looking at the servants standing by. She hoped that Peter and Eleanor would understand.
Peter nodded without looking at her.
“I feel horrible for doing this to your brother,” he said.
“Peter!” Eleanor exclaimed again. “Maria said that we would talk about it tomorrow. Now let’s eat.”
Maria smiled at her. At least she had understood. The rest of the meal Eleanor and Maria talked while Peter said nothing but was clearly mulling over how everything would pan out.
***
When Jonathan heard Peter and Eleanor say goodnight to Maria in the hallway he waited for a short while before he knocked on the door between their rooms. They had adjoining rooms and wouldn’t have to enter the hallway if they wanted to see each other.
Maria opened and looked at him with a puzzled look on her face. He had waited too long, he realized. She was already in her nightgown and wore nothing but that and a shawl. He was himself fully dressed.
“Can I come in?” he said. Maria tucked the shawl tighter around her chest.
The gesture made Jonathan look at her chest. Her breasts were not visible because of the shawl but he could still clearly see the outline of them. He wondered how they felt. Now that she was out of the heavy woolen dress, it would be easy to feel them through the thin fabric of the night gown. They had to be soft. There were not overly large, but... he should not be thinking about this. Not now, not ever. He quickly looked down at her bare feet.
“I am sorry,” he said flustered and felt that his gaze had stopped at her breasts again. He quickly raised it to her face. “I just wanted to know what they said to you when I wasn’t there.”
Maria stepped away from the door. He entered and closed it behind him. He rested his hand on the doorknob for a moment to hide that he was blushing. He had to get a grip.
“You should go back to bed,” he said with his face still turned towards the door. “It’s freezing.”
Even though the fire was lit in the fireplace the room would still be chilly for someone in her night gown. It was the middle of December.
Jonathan turned slowly when he could hear that she was back in bed. He had to look at her face and only her face, he reminded himself.
“They didn’t say much,” Maria answered his question. “Peter – Lord Goodwin - wanted to know whether you will really give him the islands back. I told him that you had said that you would.”
Jonathan nodded and stared at a knot in the wooden floor.
“Anything else?” he asked.
He looked at her when she didn’t answer right away and saw that she was biting her lip. It was a thoughtful expression and nothing more, but it still made Jonathan think of how soft her lips probably were.
“What is it?” he asked, forcing himself to think of why they were there. He stepped closer towards the bed without thinking about it. “I can tell that there is something else.”
Maria made a flustered gesture with her arms, making the shawl fall.
“Peter is just uneasy talking to you, when he has always been so close with Gustaf, is all,” she admitted, picking up the shawl and wrapping it around her chest again.
“What did you say?” Jonathan asked and swallowed drily. Had she dropped the shawl on purpose? Was it an invitation?
“Nothing,” Maria said. She wasn’t looking directly into his eyes, although she was looking at his face. “I said that we would talk about it tomorrow.”
“And what did they say?” He was standing at the side of the bed now.
“They agreed,” Maria said breathlessly.
“Hmm,” Jonathan said and forced himself to step away from the bed. The tense atmosphere between them seemed to be broken by his movement. “Thank you,” he said curtly.
Maria nodded.
He moved towards the door.
“See you tomorrow,” he said and left the room. He locked the door and leaned against it. He should never have gone in there. He needed the annulment, he reminded himself. There was everything wrong with her – except that he found her extremely attractive, and the more he got to know her, the more she actually seemed like a funny, thoughtful, and intelligent person.
He quickly stepped away from the door, as if she was a witch and her powers would be able to reach him all the way through the locked door.