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“But Peter,” Maria said again. Jonathan admired her enthusiasm; she had been repeating herself for the past hour. For the last half he had simply sat back and watched the two of them debating, almost amused to hear their arguments. “If we stay married Jonathan will not have an heir, you of all people should know this.”
Lord Goodwin shrugged.
“Jonathan is young, he could easily live 30 more years, maybe more. If he can secure 30 years of peace, we can always figure out the question of an heir at that time. His brother will most likely have children. Then his son can be Jonathan’s heir.”
“But that is absurd, what man does not want to have his own children?” Maria objected, pointing at Jonathan with an open hand.
“What man does not want to be king?” Lord Goodwin replied. “Listen, Maria, I trust you and I trust your family. I even trust you more than I trust your brother. But I don’t trust him,” he pointed at Jonathan. He would let it slide, that Lord Goodwin hadn’t addressed him properly.
“Peter, he is your king, of course you can trust him,” was Maria’s only comeback. She looked like she herself could see that it was a thin argument.
Jonathan hadn’t thought that he would have to choose between being king and having children before. But right now, it seemed these were his only two options. And he found himself minding less and less if he had to stay married to Maria. It was absurd and he tried to tell himself that, clearly, taking her to bed wasn’t worth missing out on having a son of his own – but he already knew that it would be more than that. Their relationship would be more than that. A partnership of sorts. Perhaps even someone to help him share the burden.
Lord Goodwin snorted.
“I’m sorry,” he said directly to Jonathan this time. “I do not say this to offend His Majesty...”
Jonathan lifted his hand and cut him off.
“No need to apologize. I appreciate that you are honest,” Jonathan said. “Maria, I think that Lord Goodwin has made his terms perfectly clear; now it is up to me to consider if I will meet them.”
Maria was about to object when Jonathan got up and gently took her elbow to lead her out of the room.
“Jonathan,” Maria began as soon as the door had closed behind them.
“I don’t want to discuss this here,” Jonathan said and walked hastily towards their rooms. Servants quickly hurried out of the way as they strode down the hallway.
“Maria,” he said as soon as he had closed the door to his room behind them. “What if we do not get the annulment?”
“But...?” Maria began.
“No, Lord Goodwin is right. Every man in this country wants to be king, and if I have his support then I can remain in power. What is that in relation to giving up siring an heir on my own?”
Maria took a step back. He could see that she was completely dumbfounded by this. Her eyes flickered from side to side as if different images were swirling past them. He waited for a moment before he said:
“To the king, the people of his kingdom should first and foremost be his children, right?” He couldn’t stand still but started pacing the length of the room. Maria slowly sat down at the small table by the window. “And I should protect them as best I can, right? And I could do that by having Lord Goodwin on my side, beating your brother once and for all!”
He smiled at her. She had an open and curious look on her face, and he realized that she might actually agree.
“It is certainly worth considering,” Maria said diplomatically in a tone of voice that he couldn’t decipher.
“Your brother just might have given me the best way to beat him by forcing me to marry you,” Jonathan said and couldn’t help but smile. He felt like embracing her but ended up patting her awkwardly on the shoulder.
“Are you certain, Jonathan?” Maria queried.
Jonathan nodded eagerly. Maria stood back up. She was so close to him now. She smelled of violets, he realized. He wanted to bury his nose in her hair...
“I think that you should give it more thought,” she suggested, obviously unaware of what he had been thinking.
“I... I think you’re right,” Jonathan said.
He should. He wished that Valdemar was here. Not in this room, in this moment, but here at the Goodwins’ estate. Valdemar would have teased him that he wanted Maria so much that he actually considered this, but all of Lord Goodwin’s arguments seemed good to him.
“I... I’ll go for a walk,” he said and briskly left the room.
At least he should not ruin it for himself by sleeping with her now. He would be able to think it over on a stroll. He would have preferred a ride, but he hadn’t brought Fafner.
***
The carriage ride home was completely different from when they left only a couple of days ago. Maria couldn’t believe the difference that the few days had made. She had finally seen the man that Jonathan really was, the man that he had been when they first met at the stables.
“How come we never met at court before?” Jonathan asked her as they were rumbling along on the muddy roads.
“I’ve never been. I was supposed to go for your coronation, but then I fell ill,” Maria answered.
“So, you honestly didn’t know who I was when we first met?”
“Of course not!” Maria replied, smiling. She had told him already, but then again that had been before they had started drinking. “Did it seem like it?”
“No, not at all,” Jonathan smiled as well. “But later I did wonder whether it was simply because you were Lord Helmholdt’s sister and just didn’t care enough to show your king the proper respect.”
“My mother is turning in her grave right now, for you even suggesting that I would behave so badly,” Maria grinned. Jonathan grinned too.
“Well, then,” he said. “I better not insult my mother-in-law.”
“Indeed not. She was the most correct person, if there ever was one,” Maria said and tried to keep the sadness out of her voice as she said so.
“Did you have a chance to talk to Peter before we left?” she asked to change the subject.
Jonathan nodded and looked intently at her.
“Good,” she said and let out a sigh. She couldn’t believe that he was even contemplating staying married to her. She knew that he desired her, but that wasn’t reason enough to stay married. Eventually he would regret his decision.
No matter how important it was for him to be king, she knew that it was important for a man to have children of his own. She knew that. She had gone through two marriages where she had been blamed for not being able to have children. She wouldn’t go through it a third time.
She briefly thought of the wise woman and how she had said that Maria would become pregnant the next time she slept with a man. Her hand almost strayed to the lower part of her stomach, but she clenched it into a fist on the seat next to her. It would be lovely if the wise woman was right. But of course, she couldn’t be.
Jonathan had a curious expression on his face, when she looked at him, and she realized that he had said something.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” she said.
“I said that I told Lord Goodwin that we would remain married,” Jonathan said and smiled at her.
“You did what?” Maria almost yelled.
Jonathan’s smile almost turned into a grin.
“I know that I promised you that you could live by yourself at Louisalund Castle, but this is a much better solution, isn’t it?” Jonathan said.
Maria couldn’t look at him. He had lost his mind. He had definitely lost his mind.
“There has to be another way,” she said, although she couldn’t think of one. And hadn’t been able to since Peter had stated his ridiculous claims yesterday.
Jonathan shrugged.
“The more I think about it, the more it seems like a good choice,” he said, still grinning.
“Jonathan,” she pleaded and had to pause to think of the right words. “I know that you...”
No, she couldn’t simply say: “I know that you desire me.” That was too blunt. But how else to put it? He couldn’t be thinking straight, and desire was the only thing that she could blame. The only reason she could think of. At least that was why it sounded appealing to her to stay married to him.
“You know that I what?” Jonathan said.
He had leaned towards her. There was a gleam in his green eyes that made her catch her breath and feel all warm.
“I know that you want me, okay?” Maria blurted. “But it’s no reason to stay married.”
There was only a slight change of expression on Jonathan’s face, then it looked just the same as before.
“You want me too,” he said.
Maria’s hand flew to her mouth to cover the blush that was spreading across her face. She hadn’t been that good at hiding it, she realized. When she had barged in on him changing his clothes, she had looked anywhere but his eyes.
“That’s beside the point,” she croaked.
“Is it?” Jonathan said and seemed to lean in a bit closer. His knees were almost touching hers.
Maria nodded slowly, trying to remember what they were talking about.
“You don’t know what’s like being in a marriage, being blamed for not being able to give your husband a child...” she began.
“I wouldn’t blame you for that,” Jonathan said. “I know that you can’t give me a child, and I have accepted that. Even though I would love to have a daughter with hair as beautiful as yours.”
He reached out to touch her hair. Maria hadn’t covered it since it was just the two of them in the carriage. Her breath caught, as he stroked a lock of it behind her ear.
“Maria, I admit that I want you, almost desperately, it’s absurd...” his voice trailed off and for a moment they were simply looking into each other’s eyes. His hand rested on her hair, then it slid down to her cheek. “But I don’t think that this marriage is a good idea, simply because we desire each other.”
“You don’t?” Maria said, her hands moving almost on their own to rest on his thighs just above the knees.
Jonathan shook his head without breaking eye contact with her.
“No, I think that our marriage will work outside of the bedroom too. You are intelligent, and a rather fierce negotiator I might add...” he smiled at the last part. “And I think that you would be a tremendous help to me.”
“Help you?” was all Maria could get out.
Jonathan nodded.
She would never have expected him to say that. Her former husbands had never wanted her help. Gustaf had only wanted it when he was desperate and had no other choice. Jonathan... Well, that was why he had asked her to help him convince Peter, but now... So much had changed the last few days.
Maria nodded as well.
“Then I accept, I suppose,” she said.
“Accept what?” Jonathan said, his face at least an inch closer to hers than it had been before, although she was unsure whether she had seen him move closer.
“I accept your hand in marriage, I suppose,” Maria said and closed the small distance between their mouths.
Jonathan’s arms came around her with a fierceness that she hadn’t expected he possessed. He hauled her into his lap, his arms almost crushing her to his body, his mouth devouring hers with an intensity that she hadn’t thought him capable of. She couldn’t help but moan; this was all she had ever wanted.
Her arms had been crushed to his chest awkwardly and she gently pried them free and wrapped them around his neck. With her arms gone she could enjoy the hard feeling of his chest pressed up against her own. Her nipples hardened despite the many layers of clothing between them.
She couldn’t help but moan softly as Jonathan kissed his way from her mouth down her cheek to her neck.
“You’re wearing too many clothes,” he murmured as he unhinged her cloak to gain better access to her neck and collarbone.
The cloak fell to the floor of the carriage, but Maria couldn’t feel the cold; all she could think of was how she could allow him better access as he kissed his way down her neck. Her dress wasn’t low cut and there was no way he would be able to kiss his way to her breasts, even though Maria knew that it was exactly where she wanted his mouth to be right now.
She almost sighed with relief when one of his hands slid to cover her breast.
“Just a handful,” Jonathan murmured. Maria smiled, then moaned when he found her nipple and squeezed it.
Jonathan gave her a cheeky grin. His other hand slid down her back, covering her bottom.
“Well, definitely more than a handful there,” he said as he squeezed one of her cheeks.
Maria hid her face at his neck, kissing her way back to his mouth. She didn’t want to think of the size of her bottom right now. It was definitely larger than average for someone as petite as her, but she was always able to hide it her dresses.
“Well, yes...” she began when she reached his mouth.
“Don’t get me wrong, I like it,” Jonathan said, squeezing it again. “In fact, I can’t wait to see...”
“But not right now,” Maria murmured, kissing him again. “It’s too cold right now.”
“I forgot that we were in the carriage,” Jonathan murmured into her mouth just before they kissed again.
Their kisses intensified, and Maria almost forgot that they were in a carriage as well. Jonathan’s hand on her breast changed to the other, but the angle was weird because she was sitting halfway with her side to him on his lap.
“Just a moment,” she said breathlessly as she got up, lifted her skirt above her knees and sat back down on his lap, straddling him this time.
“Oh, Maria,” he murmured, both his hands finding her bottom as he pressed her close to him again. Maria was pressed up against his groin and she could feel the evidence of his desire clearly. She couldn’t help but rub against it as they started kissing again.
“Oh, Maria,” he murmured again, one of his hands finding her calf and starting a slow journey up her leg.
Maria shivered as he found a sensitive spot on the back of her knee. She ran her hands through his hair and down his neck but was unable to run them down his back because of the seat.
“I wish that I could touch you more,” she said breathlessly.
Jonathan didn’t answer, but only groaned. His hand had reached her thigh and Maria moved slightly to give him more space. It was ridiculous how much she wanted to be with him, and they were in a carriage!
His hand found the most sensitive place between her thighs, and she almost came off the seat when he touched her.
“Oh, Jonathan,” she couldn’t help but cry out.
He held her close to him with one hand still on the small of her back. Maria leaned into him, her head resting on his shoulder. All she could do was clutch at his arms and moan as he slowly touched the sensitive nub of flesh. Then his fingers slowly travelled lower and first one then two of them entered her. Maria knew that she was exceedingly wet.
“I want you inside of me,” she whispered.
Jonathan didn’t stop moving his fingers as he said:
“We’re in a carriage.”
Maria drew her head back, looking at him. His fingers inside of her had stopped now.
“I want you inside of me,” she repeated as she looked into his eyes. They looked glazed with desire.
“We can’t consummate our marriage in a carriage,” he said with a smile.
“We can,” Maria said and smiled back.
They stared at each other for a long moment, then she moved back a bit on his lap to open his belt. He didn’t object. She opened his leather trousers, reached inside of them, and found his cock. It was still hard but seemed to harden as she slowly touched the soft skin.
Jonathan let out an impatient groan, and made an irritated movement that made Maria jump off his lap. He tore the trousers down to his knees. Maria couldn’t help but smile, as she slowly sat back down on his lap again.
“Rather impatient, aren’t you?” she said, as she hoisted her dress and found his cock again.
“You have no idea how long I have waited for this,” Jonathan said as she led him to her entrance.
“At least half an hour,” Maria said and moaned loudly as she slowly lowered herself onto him.
Jonathan’s fingers on her bottom dug into it as he said hoarsely:
“Longer, much longer.”
Maria didn’t answer but started moving slowly. Jonathan helped her find a rhythm that suited them both and soon she had forgotten everything else. The tension in her legs and thighs grew, she had felt it before, but never this intensely. Never like she could shatter into a million pieces at any moment. She needed something to make it happen, but she wasn’t sure what.
Jonathan gasped, his head resting on her shoulder. His hands had come to rest on her hips, helping her pick up the pace. This was it Maria thought, at any moment she would shatter, and it wouldn’t matter, because it was all she wanted. Still, she wasn’t sure what would make it happen. If she had known, she would have asked Jonathan to do it... or done it herself if she could.
“I’m so close,” Jonathan moaned.
“I think I am too,” Maria moaned.
One of his hands slid from her hip and one of his fingers found the sensitive nub of flesh again. Maria almost shrieked as she realized that this was exactly what she had longed for. He rubbed it gently, as her muscles grew even tighter than she had thought possible and then she felt it, the most amazing sensation swept through her whole body, making her toes curl, and her breath catch. And when she breathed again it was a loud gasp.
At that point Jonathan groaned loudly and thrust into her one last time. She watched him as he clutched her to him, all of his muscles tense. She kissed his mouth, then his cheek as his breath rasped on her ear.
“I had no idea it could be like this,” she murmured because she had to say it, but also couldn’t look at his face right then.
“Me neither,” Jonathan said and held her even tighter, if it was possible.