I want to run. Hit that hill in no time, but I stop myself from doing so. Eury is behind me. We have to take this slow. I can’t lose her again.
Ato walks alongside me. I want to push him away. Hurt him. I can’t even pretend to ignore him. This is the thing. I’m jealous of Death because he still be winning. He can actually see Eury while I am stuck keeping my view steady on our destination. This whole ordeal began with him. It only makes sense the gods would continue this joke by having Ato with us until the very end, but what he doesn’t know is that I aim to win.
“I remember your grandmother,” Ato says. “The one who lived in North Carolina. Grandma Lynn.”
He’s actually going to do this. Ato’s going to talk the whole way through. Try to trip me up. It’s another test. I don’t respond.
“Do you remember how right before she passed away, you said your goodbye?” Ato talks to me as if he’s my boy, as if this is a conversation we were meant to have weeks ago and now is our chance to clear the air.
“Grandma Lynn didn’t struggle. She knew it was time,” Ato says. “When the time comes for your father, he will definitely struggle.”
“Shut up.”
“Your Pops is going to suffer for a long time,” he says. “You will have to witness his painful demise and be unable to do anything to help him.”
“Keep my father’s name out of your mouth, Death. Whatever he has to go through, he will with a fight.”
Eury is behind me. Remember this. I can’t let Ato win.
“No, he doesn’t believe me,” Ato says. “Why do you think this will change? He will probably hurt you. Men don’t change. Look at his father.”
“Stop talking to Eury. She hates your guts just like I do.”
The hill continues to ascend. It doesn’t seem like we’ve made much progress, not with Ato yapping by my side. So, instead of engaging with him, I take a different approach.
“Eury, I’m going to tell you the story of when my parents met,” I say.
I’ve always liked the story of when they first connected. Perhaps it’s just a child’s foolish wish, but it always made me think of what can magically happen when two people meet. Perhaps if I recite this story, I can drown out Ato.
Ato continues to talk. He speaks about my father’s death. I won’t listen. I see Eury’s face in my mind’s eye and focus on that, like I’m talking to only her.
“My parents met in college. They were both young and optimistic. Basically, my father swore he was cool. He could easily talk to girls, but there was this one sister who refused to give him any play. Moms was too smart. Too fly. Too everything, and she knew it. So when Pops rolled up on her and tried to use his smooth words, she wasn’t having it. She shot him down every single time.”
Death speaks louder. He now talks about Eury’s mom and how she will die. We will not let him win.
“It wasn’t until Pops stopped trying so hard that Mom finally gave him some attention. They were at a house party and their group of friends was arguing over who was the best guitar player. Pops listened mostly to merengue and salsa. Not Mom. Moms knew the names of all the greats—Jimi Hendrix, B.B. King, Howlin’ Wolf. Pops was in awe. When the time came to go, Pops ran up to Moms and said, ‘I don’t know much about strings, but I’ve heard he’s one of the best. Do you like this song?’ It was Prince’s ‘The Beautiful Ones.’ Back then, everyone was singing ‘Purple Rain,’ but Pops loved the lyrics to ‘The Beautiful Ones,’ and so did Mom.”
Damn. I completely forgot how Prince brought my parents together. One song. How powerful is that? Pops always said that there are no coincidences. I can see that now. Music can be the conduit, the bridge. I have proof of this because I met Eury. Our love crossed dimensions and music was our guide to salvation. It was fate. I was meant to meet Eury, and we are destined to walk this hill together.
Ato finally shuts up. He stares at the ground, like his sadness is weighing him down.
“There was a time I thought if I learned how to sing the song, I could make them remember the night they fell for each other. Ridiculous, huh? Maybe that’s why Mom has never been that keen on me playing the guitar.”
I almost turn around, expecting Eury to be smiling, reaching out to me with a simple gesture like laying her hand over mine. What I would do to feel that right now. I continue.
“I guess when you’re young, you fail to see the reality of life. The choices my parents made. I don’t know. I still wish things were different between them,” I say. “Music can move mountains, but it couldn’t save my parents’ marriage or my father from depression.”
Is it weird I can almost sense Eury reprimanding me for being such a bummer? We draw closer to the top of the hill. Ato is still buried deep in his thoughts. Let him stew in that forever. All I can think of is how tight I will hold Eury once we reach the top. There’s so much for us to talk about. A real future to plan ahead for.
Almost there. I can feel it. Taste it even. This nightmare will soon be behind us.
“She doesn’t want to continue,” Ato says.
I stop. He stares behind me.
“She keeps screaming no,” he says. “She’s afraid.”
“What do you mean she’s afraid? What’s going on?”
I have to look. What if she’s in pain?
“She can’t go on.”
“Eury! Talk to me. Send me a sign. I can’t look back. If I do, it’s done. Please!”
What do I do?