Between recent nights in Maine and at the Laraway estate, Liz didn’t know where she was when she first opened her eyes Monday morning. It took her a minute to realize she was staring at her own ceiling. And when she did, she cringed. She didn’t need to look at the arm resting across her stomach or the face on the pillow beside her to know whose it was.
Skyler. Cute little Skyler with the sky-blue stripe in her wild blond hair; Skyler, the struggling artist who taught art classes and moonlighted as a barista at the coffeehouse next door to her shop. They weren’t exactly friends with benefits, more like acquaintances with benefits. Sometimes they’d meet up at the Cubbyhole, and they’d slept together twice, maybe three times. Liz couldn’t remember which.
She wasn’t prone to regret when it came to women, but her heart was filled with it right now. Never mix tequila and self-pity, she told herself. It was a poor combination that led to poorer behavior. Bringing Skyler home had seemed a good idea last night, a way of getting Isabel off her mind, but it hadn’t worked. Liz found herself going through the motions, wanting it to be over. Come to think of it, she might have fallen asleep before it was. The only good thing about it had been closing her eyes and pretending Isabel was touching her. That part had been sort of exciting. She raked her fingers through her hair and sighed heavily.
“Good morning, gorgeous…” Skyler stirred beside her, but Liz kept staring at the ceiling. “Where are you?”
Liz turned her head on her pillow and smiled halfheartedly. “I’m right here.”
“You weren’t even here last night—not the Liz I know.”
“Sorry, Sky…I’ll make it up to you with breakfast.”
Skyler reached for her phone. “Holy crap, how’d it get to be nine o’clock? I gotta get home for a quick shower and clean clothes. I teach class at eleven. Coffee would be great, though.”
Liz was relieved she couldn’t stay. She wanted time alone to wallow before meeting a client at noon. “Coffee coming up.” She gave her a peck on the lips, slipped into an oversized denim shirt that she didn’t bother to button, and pulled a pair of panties from a drawer. In the kitchen she left a pot of coffee to brew, went to brush her teeth, and when she came back Skyler was pouring coffee. Liz fixed herself a cup and joined her in the living room, but no sooner did she curl up in a chair opposite Skyler than the doorbell rang.
“Uh-oh. You’re about to meet the illustrious Ms. Peterson,” Liz said. If it were an outside visitor Ben would have buzzed her from downstairs, unless he’d left the door unattended to run across the street for coffee, as he sometimes did.
Ms. Peterson was her elderly neighbor who had enjoyed a long career in theater. At eighty-five, she still dressed stylishly, maintained her dancer’s figure, and had perfect posture. Ms. Peterson adored Liz and sometimes stopped in for coffee or tea, enchanting her with stories of Broadway. And although she wasn’t a lesbian, she always made a prideful point of recounting her one “brief experience” with a woman and making sure Liz knew about her many other “opportunities” along the way.
Liz set her cup down, got up, and went to the door, but when she looked out the peep hole, it wasn’t Ms. Peterson. Isabel was standing there with the dogs.
“Fuck!” Liz grabbed her head with both hands and started spinning in a frantic circle. Of all days for Isabel to show up unannounced, it had to be while she had a woman in her apartment! What to do? She had few options. She could pretend she wasn’t home, but that wouldn’t be nice, and really, there was no one she wanted to see more. She took a deep breath, put on her best smile, and opened the door. Propped against the wall was a large flat package wrapped in brown paper. It looked like something framed. And in between the package and Isabel stood the dogs. They looked worried, as if they suspected this place might be a veterinarian’s office, but once they looked up and saw Liz, tails started wagging.
“Isabel!” Liz happily greeted her, then looked at the dogs. “Hi, Blue. Hey, Loosey Goosey. What a nice surprise.”
Isabel looked away, trying not to stare at Liz’s open shirt. “I woke you. I’m so sorry.”
Liz looked down at her partially exposed breasts and quickly clutched the two sides of her shirt with a hand. “Come in. I just made coffee.”
“Okay.” Isabel started to slide the package in. “I really just wanted to bring this to you…and um…apologize for my behavior the other—” Her jaw dropped at the sight of Skyler peeking over Liz’s shoulder, and when Liz saw her almost stagger back, she knew things weren’t going to turn out well.
“Morning,” said Skyler.
“Oh…I’m…I…I didn’t mean to intrude,” Isabel stammered. “Forgive me. I shouldn’t have come without calling. Here. I just…I wanted to drop this off,” she said, without making contact. Her hands trembled as she pushed the package and leaned it in the doorway. Then she spun around and hurried away, pulling the dogs along with her. They followed Isabel, but they kept their heads turned back, looking at Liz confusedly as they tripped into each other.
“Isabel, wait!” Liz called, but Isabel only picked up speed until she was running down the long hall for the elevator. Liz took off after her, trying to button her shirt as she did, but she couldn’t find the buttonholes as she ran and gave up. “Wait, Isabel. I can explain,” she said, then realized how inane that sounded.
Isabel reached the elevator doors and pounded on the button.
“Please don’t go,” Liz pleaded when she caught up with her.
But Isabel wouldn’t even look at her. She stood with her face to the elevator door, her nose almost touching it. “How could you betray me like this? How could you do this to me—how could you!” She started jabbing the button again.
Liz put a hand on her shoulder, but Isabel recoiled from her touch. “Isabel, what have I done wrong? I haven’t betrayed you. We’re good friends, right? We’re friends and—”
“Oh, is that what we are, good friends? Thanks for clarifying that point for me. I must have missed something.”
Missed something? Liz was dumbfounded, but then it struck her—Isabel thought they were together, a couple!—and, strangely, this jealous rage overjoyed her. She fought to keep from smiling.
“Isabel, you’re not being reasonable. Please, come back inside and talk to me.”
But Isabel wasn’t having any of it. The bell finally dinged and the elevator door opened. Desperate to keep her, and before Isabel could even move, Liz snatched both leashes from behind and quickly stepped back with the dogs.
With an indignant toss of her head, Isabel stepped into the elevator anyway and held her hand out to keep the doors from closing. “Give me my dogs.”
“No. Not until you talk to me.”
“Give me the dogs and go back to your girlfriend.”
“She’s not my girlfriend. She crashed here last night,” Liz lied. There was no sense in letting the truth worsen things. Liz doubted Isabel would feel much sympathy knowing she’d engaged in meaningless sex just to get her mind off her. “She’s a friend, Isabel.”
“So that explains why you’re half-naked?”
“I’m not half-naked, I…” But she was. She felt horrible standing there barefoot in panties and an oversized shirt that had fallen open again.
Flustered, Isabel tore her eyes away from Liz’s breasts and, withdrew her hand from the door. It started closing.
Holding the dogs back, Liz quickly slapped the elevator button, and the door opened again. “Get out of the elevator. Right now.”
“No!” Her bottom lip quivered and her eyes filled with tears.
Liz stared at her helplessly as the door began closing again. “Don’t you know how fucking in love I am with you?” she yelled.
Isabel’s eyes widened, the door shut, and Liz gave it a swift kick with her bare foot. “Dammit, Isabel!” she shouted, and when she realized she’d frightened the dogs, she dropped to her knees, raised her voice an octave, and spoke in her best baby voice. “Aww, I’m sorry, Blue. It’s okay, Goose.” She ruffled their fur. “It’s just that your mommy’s driving me insane. Yeah, she is,” she cheerfully cooed. “Hey, are you girls hungry? Let’s go see what I’ve got for you.”
Before Liz could stand up Ms. Peterson’s door opened, and she poked her head out. “Oh my! Liz, is that you? Are you okay, dear?”
“I’m fine, Ms. Peterson. Everything’s fine.” And when she realized Ms. Peterson was looking at her bare breasts, she grabbed her shirt, buttoned it lopsided, and stood up. “Sorry for the commotion,” she said, and trotted down the hall, pulling the tail of her shirt down over her panties and cursing under her breath the whole way. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
Skyler was standing in the doorway, ready to leave as the dogs walked in. “A pit bull and a…Scottie? Who are they?”
Liz frowned and shook her head. “My stepkids, if I play my cards right.”
Skyler gave an understanding nod. “That explains where your head was last night.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” Liz said, and kissed her on the cheek, “but I’ve got to go make things right.”
“It’s all good. We’ll catch up whenever.”
“Thanks, Sky.” Liz hugged her, and when she closed the door she dropped the dogs’ leashes. They followed her panting into the kitchen.
“It’s hot today, I know. If I’d known you two were coming I would have had biscuits and treats waiting.” She opened the fridge. “Let’s see…hmm…can I interest you girls in chicken cutlets? I think so.” Liz cut up two, served them on paper plates, and left the dogs with a bowl of ice water while she took the fastest shower ever.
The buzzer rang just as she got out, and Liz rushed to the intercom in a towel. “Isabel?”
“Please bring Blue and Loosey down to the lobby.”
“They’re eating chicken right now. They said you should come up and get them.”
“I’m not coming up there.”
“There’s no one here. She’s gone.”
“I know. She passed me on her way out. Thank you for humiliating me.”
“Oh, Isabel…” Liz felt terrible. Her voice softened. “Please come up here and talk to me. You’re not being fair.”
“I’m not coming up there, Liz. Don’t ask me again.”
God, could she any more stubborn? Liz suspected that stubbornness might have come from the Waspy side of the family, but that fire in Isabel was all Brazilian. “Okay, okay.” Liz thought for a minute. “I’ll bring the dogs down under one condition. Have breakfast with me. Two blocks to your right is the Barking Dog. The outside patio allows pets. Go get us a table, and I’ll meet you there in ten minutes.”
There was silence on the other end. “Isabel?” Liz called through the intercom.
“Oh…all right,” she finally said, but didn’t sound too happy.
Liz threw on a tank top and cropped pants and ran some hair gel through her damp russet waves. Earrings, a little lipstick, eyeliner, and she was ready. But the package Isabel had delivered stirred her curiosity, and she couldn’t resist opening it. She carried it over to the dining-room table and laid it flat, carefully unwrapping it and almost crying when she saw what it was—the Icart Martini print she’d seen for auction at Sotheby’s. Had Isabel been the silent bidder? That explained what she’d been doing on her cell phone that evening. “Oh, baby…” What a special gift, a beautiful surprise. And she’d ruined it for Isabel.
Liz grabbed her bag and the dogs, and when she reached the café saw Isabel sitting at a table, just beyond the flower boxes that hung on the wrought-iron fence. A painful lump rose in her throat. She felt so ashamed of having had a woman in her bed last night, that Isabel had walked into the aftermath of all that—angry that she was ashamed because, really, she’d done nothing wrong. Isabel had treated her as no more than a friend, so why should it have mattered what woman or how many of them she slept with?
Liz walked through the gateway, and the dogs greeted Isabel like they hadn’t seen her in hours. She put the loops of their leashes under the leg on her chair and looked up at Liz. The fury had passed. Now she just looked sad, heartbroken, and Liz wished she could hold her tight.
“Oh, Isabel…I opened your gift. It’s so amazing…incredibly special…completely unexpected. I don’t know what to say, except…thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Isabel said as the waitress brought coffee. Neither of them was especially hungry, not after what had just transpired, but Liz ordered French toast, and Isabel ordered the same. “I knew you loved it,” Isabel said when the waitress left, “and I…I decided you should have it.” She looked at Liz with regret. “I’m sorry I reacted the way I did. I had no right to think we were committed.”
“Committed?” Liz was beyond perplexed. Her mouth dropped open, and she shook her head in confusion. Would she ever figure Isabel out? “I don’t understand, Isabel. I mean, what were you thinking—that we were going steady?” She’d meant it as a joke, but when Isabel gave a nervous little shrug and tucked her hair behind her ear, Liz realized that was exactly what she’d thought. “We’ve spent a total of six nights sleeping in the same bed, Isabel…and we’ve never so much as kissed. I’ve had more physical contact with Blue and the Goose than I’ve had with you,” she said. “How was I to ever know you thought we were more than friends? I told you I was gay the day we met. You changed the subject and never brought it up again.”
“I thought you knew how I felt. I thought you just didn’t want to rush into—oh, I don’t know what I was thinking, Liz, except that…I thought I meant something to you.”
“You do! You mean everything to me, Isabel. I think about you all day and dream about you all night. And I would never stray from you if for one minute I thought you were mine.”
“I am…I mean, I want to be, but I…I don’t know how. Isabel propped her elbow on the table and buried her face in her hand. “God, I’m such a mess.”
“Mine? You want to be mine?” It all sounded too good to be true. Liz smiled affectionately, this desire she’d never known before filling every part of her. “Really?”
Isabel looked at her and nodded. “Yeah…really.”
Breakfast came, and Liz waited before reaching across for Isabel’s hand. “I’m so sorry for hurting and upsetting you, but…” she let out a heavy sigh, “you have to give me a break here. I’m not a mind reader, you know.”
“And what about her?”
“There is no her. There’s only you. Please believe me.”
They managed to eat half their breakfast, and Liz checked the time as she watched Isabel feed the rest to the dogs.” I have an important appointment with a client at my shop. Would you want to hang out with the dogs at my place and wait for me? I won’t be more than two hours.”
Isabel shook her head. “I’m not going back to your apartment. Not today.”
As though it were the scene of a crime, Liz thought. But she understood. “Fair enough. Do you want to drive me downtown and see the shop?”
“I’d love to see it. Can the dogs come?”
“Of course. And then…” Liz thought before she spoke. “Would you be able to make it back into the city again tomorrow?”
“Actually, I’m taking the morning off. The animal shelter has a dog transport coming up from Tennessee. They’re expecting eighteen animals to arrive by six in the morning. I promised to help walk and feed and get them settled in the kennels. Then I figured I’d go home to shower and change and make it into the office for a few hours.”
“You have such a kind heart, Isabel. I love that you volunteer your time. If the shelter ever needs an extra hand for something like that in the future, let me know. I’d enjoy helping.”
“They always need help.”
“Good.” Liz smiled. “So…about tomorrow, then…how about driving down after you leave the office? I’ll make dinner—an official date—and we can continue this conversation, maybe even enjoy a first kiss.”
Isabel blushed and looked away. “Okay,” she finally said.
Okay? Wow. So she and Isabel Laraway were going steady. Liz smiled, but inside she felt the bubbling joy of a kid being told the carnival was coming to town. She wanted to jump out of her seat and sing and dance around the café.
One thing for sure, her new girlfriend had more than just a kiss coming tomorrow night, but Liz would wait until Isabel was in her apartment to spring the rest on her.