Christy was awake long before dawn. In fact, she had been lying awake in bed for hours by the time she heard a distant rooster crow, signaling the rise of the sun.
She had prayed many times for an answer to her dilemma. But she still felt uncertain and unsettled. One way or the other, she knew she would be getting on the train to El Pano with the others. Whatever her decision was, she had to return to Cutter Gap, even if it was only to get her things and say goodbye.
While she waited for the rest of the household to awaken, she packed her bags. When she smelled the familiar aromas of coffee and biscuits coming up the stairs, she went down.
She found her mother and Ruby Mae in the kitchen. Ruby Mae was assisting in the preparation of a new batch of biscuits.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” Christy’s mother said.
“Ruby Mae, are you learning your new duties? Does this mean you’ve decided to stay here?” Christy wondered aloud. Maybe Ruby Mae’s decision would help with her own.
“Oh, no, Miz Christy,” Ruby Mae said. “I was just a-learnin’ your mama’s recipe so I can fetch up a batch of these biscuits when I get back home. Won’t Miss Ida be surprised?”
“Yes, I suppose she will,” Christy said.
“I am very disappointed that Ruby Mae won’t be staying here,” Mrs. Huddleston said. “The house will seem so empty with both of you gone again.”
“Miz Christy will be back soon, though,” Ruby Mae said.
“Is that true, dear?” Mrs. Huddleston asked eagerly.
Christy was flustered. “Ruby Mae, I haven’t decided whether that’s true or not.” She looked helplessly at her mother. “I’m sorry, Mother. But I’m still not sure. I just don’t know.”
“Whatever you decide, your father and I will support you,” she said. “But of course you know how we feel. It would mean everything to us to have you back home.”
“Yes, Mother, I know.”
Just then, Christy’s father entered, followed by David and Neil. The three of them stood stock still and stared expectantly at Christy.
“I don’t know!” she said, exploding in frustration.
“Now, everyone leave Christy alone,” Mrs. Huddleston said. “There are hot biscuits and coffee. Eggs and ham will be along in a moment or two.”
“I’ll have to make do with just a biscuit, I’m afraid,” Doctor MacNeill said. “I’ve got to get over to the hospital to make sure Bessie’s ready.”
“I’ll come with you,” Christy said quickly.
“No need,” the doctor said. “She’s no longer to be your concern, is she?”
Christy felt anger rising in her. Everyone seemed so sure that she’d already made her decision. She followed the doctor out into the parlor, out of hearing of the others. “I have not decided yet, Neil. And as of this moment, Bessie Coburn is still my responsibility as much as yours.”
“Responsibility? That’s rich, coming from you. A responsibility is something you can’t just walk away from.”
Christy tried to rein in her anger. The doctor always seemed to bring out the worst in her. “Neil, you’re a doctor, and so you have certain responsibilities. If you were faced with a choice between helping a patient you knew for certain could be saved, or helping a patient who might be beyond help, what would you do?”
The doctor fidgeted and looked away. “Are you telling me you think the Cutter Gap mission may really have to shut down?”
“I don’t know,” Christy said. “Miss Alice never seems to worry. David is concerned, I think. I had hoped to get some contributions from my church here in Asheville. But now it seems they have their own mission to support.”
The doctor was silent for a moment. At last he said, “The answer to your question, Christy, is that if I had to choose between helping those who can be helped and those who can’t , I’d have to help those who can be helped. But,” he added, “I’d first make very certain that someone was beyond help, before I would walk away.”
“Even if the Cutter Gap mission survives, why choose to do my work there, rather than here? I am needed just as much here. What if it turned out, Doctor, that both your patients could be helped, but you only had the time and ability to help one?” Christy searched his face, as if he might really have the answer.
The doctor smiled. “I guess sometimes you just do the best you can and pray.”
He’d said it as a sort of joke. Christy knew that the doctor did not pray. Or at least, if he did, he denied doing so. And yet his answer was perfect.
“Do the best you can and pray,” Christy repeated softly.
ppp
Christy wiped tears from her eyes as the train pulled away from the Asheville station. She waved through the window to her parents, who stood on the platform.
Bessie Coburn was sitting across the aisle with Ruby Mae. Ruby Mae was busily telling Bessie all about Asheville and automobiles and the Huddlestons’ fine house.
“I missed out on everything,” Bessie complained. “Although I reckon just being rid of that terrible pain is enough for me. I feel so good I could run all the way back to Cutter Gap!”
“No running, Bessie,” Doctor MacNeill said sternly. “Not for at least a month. If I find out you’ve been doing any running, jumping, skipping, or heavy chores, and you ruin my beautiful stitches, I warn you, I will not be happy.”
Bessie grinned. “I would never do nothing to ruin your stitchwork, Doctor. Why, it’s almost as fine as my mama’s quilting.”
“What?” David said in mock horror. “Only ‘almost’? Doctor MacNeill, running second place to Lety Coburn’s quilting stitches?”
Christy smiled, despite herself. The train picked up speed, and soon she could feel the drag of gravity as they began to climb back up the mountains. Soon they were high on the mountain’s side, crawling along the narrow ledge above a precipice.
“We’ll be home soon,” Ruby Mae said to Bessie.
“Home,” Bessie agreed. “Traveling is good, but home is best. Isn’t that right, Miz Christy?”
“Yes, it is,” Christy said. She sent Bessie a smile. But then her face darkened again. Yes, home was best, she thought. But she wasn’t going home, she was leaving home. Again. Her home was behind her. Her friends, her family, all back in Asheville.
What was she to do?
Do the best you can and pray. The doctor’s words came back to her.
Christy closed her eyes. She tried to shut out the sounds of conversation all around her. She tried to quiet the voices of her own will, her own demands. What am I to do? How am Ito choose between home and Cutter Gap?
She opened her eyes. She looked across the aisle at Bessie and Ruby Mae gossiping. Ruby Mae was dressed once again in her own simple, homespun hand-me-downs.
Christy looked at David. He was deep in thought. His handsome face was clouded with concern, and she knew all the reasons for his worry. Would the mission survive? Would Christy stay or go?
Then she looked at the doctor. He was reading a medical journal and trying to look nonchalant. But his eyes weren’t on the pages. He was staring blankly out at the sheer drop below.
I wish Miss Alice were here , Christy thought. When I get home, I must ask her advice.
When I get home?
Christy smiled.
Screeeeeech!
It was a sound like a saw going through metal. Christy could feel a shuddering vibration rattle the entire train.
Screeeeech!
Out the window, Christy saw sparks being thrown up from the brakes.
A man walking in the aisle was suddenly tossed forward, knocked to the floor at Christy’s feet. Christy was thrown hard against the seat in front of her. Handbags and luggage flew over her head. The air was filled with a thousand grinding, ripping, tearing sounds, all at once.
Screams! People all around were screaming! The train car tilted far over to the left, then lurched heavily back to the right.
Boom! The car turned over. Up was down and down was up. Christy fell to the ceiling. Then the floor jumped back up and hit her. Bodies were being tossed everywhere, like straws in a tornado.
The car slammed against a tree. One entire side of the car was peeled away, like the skin of a banana. Cold wind blasted in.
Christy felt herself flying through the air.