Attending the Plaza Hotel on Monday evening for the medal presentation was something Ella had been dreading, but it went surprisingly well. Instead of feeling the sadness of Paddy’s loss, she felt extreme pride at collecting Paddy’s medal as well as her own.
Paulo managed to attend alongside her, and Connie and Alan helped them both to get ready and drove them to the ceremony. Bobby was already there waiting for them, and he stood to attention and saluted at their arrival.
‘Dear Bobby, you don’t have to stand on ceremony. We are no longer in service. Take a seat next to me. This is my fiancé, Paulo.’
‘Pleased to meet you.’
Paulo was gracious in his reply. ‘Ella told me about you, Bobby. I am very sorry about Paddy. I only met her for a short time. She was a courageous nurse.’
Bobby relaxed and sat down, as they all did.
After the presentation, Ella went over to Bobby and pinned Paddy’s medal to him. He didn’t speak; he didn’t need to, as his eyes filled with tears.
As she took her place beside Paulo, with her medal pinned to her frock, Paulo leaned closer to her. ‘That was a horrible day – the day of the fire, Ella. I was so afraid. The lamp that fell wasn’t far from my bed, and the smoke engulfed me. If I hadn’t have met you, I would have taken large gulps of it into my lungs and would have let that be the end of me, but I already knew that I had a lot to live for. I feel so grateful to you, my darling, and so proud that you have been honoured in this way.’
Ella could only squeeze his hand.
They both clapped as loudly as they could when Alan and Connie collected their medals, and then it was the turn of Daniel. His commendation was very moving. Unbeknown to Ella, Daniel had continued with the operation that he was engaged in for a lot longer than she and Alan had, even though the medical tent was burning around him. He’d organized the two nurses who were helping him to cover him and the patient, leave him with a torch and then save themselves. Even the wooden floor he stood on was burning, before he left with his operation complete and his patient saved. For this he was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross.
A cheer went up that nearly deafened Ella. Daniel’s face shone with pride. He’d always been such a retiring fellow, so it was good to see him enjoying the limelight.
With his medal being the last presentation, Miss Embury approached Ella. ‘Well now, is this your young man?’
‘Yes, may I present Paulo.’
‘I can see why she fell for you in an instant. How do you do?’
Paulo looked taken aback, but recovered well. ‘Much better than I did last week. Thank you, Madame, for reuniting us. I am most grateful.’
‘Well, I expect Ella told you my motivation. I hope you will both be very happy, and that you recover your health very soon.’
‘Merci, Madame. And I am sorry for what happened to you.’
‘Thank you. Now I understand, Paulo, that you need a wheelchair? I know where there is one, and you can borrow it until you are able to get another.’
‘Oh, that would be wonderful, thank you.’
‘It is made of wicker, with two back wheels as opposed to the one wheel most chairs have, which are sometimes difficult to steer. I think you will manage this one very well. It will give you a chance to get out and about. There’s nothing like fresh air to cure, or at least relieve, lung problems.’
Connie immediately offered to collect the chair and deliver it the next day. The kindness of Ella’s friends overwhelmed her, and she wondered what she would do without them. Miss Embury was showing another side of herself, which continued to amaze and delight both Ella and Paulo.
For Ella, life had never been happier, but that feeling was constantly marred by Paulo’s suffering. His back pain often extended down his legs, and he constantly struggled to get enough oxygen into his lungs. But he took it all in his stride and remained cheerful.
A week had passed since Paulo had arrived at her home, and in that time they hadn’t made love again. Ella felt there was a resistance in Paulo that was far greater than his poor health justified. She knew, in her heart, that the revelation of what Jim had done had cut deeply into Paulo.
They were sipping their cocoa in front of a roaring fire, both ready for bed, when she felt compelled to broach the subject. Paulo was staring into the flames, his mind far away; only his wheeze was audible beyond the crackling of the logs, which spat out sparks angrily. Ella had often thought that becoming fuel to warm a house was an undignified end for what was once part of a magnificent tree, giving oxygen to the world. How she wished she could perform such a feat and give oxygen to her beloved Paulo.
‘Darling, are you all right? I feel there is something between us, which I cannot make better.’
‘Non, mon amour, it is nothing.’
‘Please be honest with me, darling.’ Ella had slipped off her chair and placed herself on the rug at Paulo’s feet. She gazed up at him, but he averted his eyes. ‘I understand. I – I feel violated, so I know that, to you, it must be like buying something you thought was new, and finding it has already been used.’
‘Oh, Ella. I find it difficult to think about it, let alone talk it through. That such a thing should happen to you is an abomination. We can only hope that man did die, and was sent to hell. Then there would be some justice.’
Relief that he wasn’t blaming her helped Ella, but she wanted him to put it behind him. Revisiting it all was so painful.
‘Oh, my Ella, don’t cry. Forgive me. I promised we would forget, but I am struggling to do so.’
‘As I am, my darling. But having you by my side and you loving me, despite everything, has helped me. I can’t bear to think that you are suffering because of it. What can I do to help you? I can’t undo it. It happened to me – but I didn’t want it to. Oh, Paulo, I didn’t want anything to spoil our love. I . . . please forgive me.’
‘Non, Ella, non. My darling, this will be an end to it. I will show you.’
Lying in his arms after making love, Ella acknowledged that the pain in her heart had been right: her attack had hung between them and prevented Paulo from showing his love for her. She could only hope that he meant what he said now, about having put it out of his mind, but she knew from her own experience how difficult that was. If only I hadn’t told him.
It was two days later that Ella felt well enough to take Paulo out in the wheelchair, which Connie had delivered. The first signs of spring were all around them, as daffodils stood proudly in front gardens, and birds tweeted their declaration of having found a partner, or something they could furnish their nest with. Whatever had them chirping, they sounded full of promise of a new beginning.
Today was going to be a fresh start for Ella and Paulo, as they were to apply to the church to put up their banns for their wedding, which they planned would take place in three weeks from now.
After they had visited St Patrick’s Church in Soho Square, Ella felt an urge to go and see her nanny. They were so near the nursing home, and what with her illness and losing Paddy, she hadn’t been for what seemed like an age. Messages from the home spoke of Nanny being peaceful, and this had kept Ella’s mind at rest.
Paulo was happy to go along with her, and Ella hoped with all her heart that Nanny was less confused than she had been, and would recognize her and be able to understand about Paulo.
Sadly, there were only a few lucid moments, during which Nanny said that she liked Paulo and hoped he would get better. ‘I need someone to take care of my Ella, young man, so you must get yourself strong.’
Paulo laughed and said he would do his best. But Nanny had given him a look of pity and, for a moment, the atmosphere had dampened.
‘Nanny, it is good to see you so well. You know, if you want to come home in a few weeks’ time, when I am a lot stronger, we would love you to.’
‘We haven’t got a home, Mona.’
Oh no! How quickly Nanny could revert to this other world she lived in. Paulo’s hand gave comfort as he took hold of Ella’s. She’d explained to him that these episodes could happen, and how painful they were to her.
‘Nanny, Mona isn’t here; it’s Ella and Paulo.’
‘Yes, it was Ella’s father – that beast of a man – who set up the flat for us. He said we could live there rent-free for the rest of our lives, but he wouldn’t give me that in writing, and I don’t trust him.’
Ella looked over at Paulo. This shocked her. She’d always thought the flat belonged to Nanny. Remembering Nanny’s name, which she’d only learned the last time Nanny had gone back into the past, she thought she would again try the tactic of pretending to be Mona. ‘Lonia, how can I contact Ella’s father? I must make sure Ella can live in the flat for as long as she needs to.’
‘It’s all written down for her, Mona. And all with my solicitor, Banks and Partridge; they have an office around the corner from our flat. When I pass on, will you take her there? But take care of her, as there are things she will find out that will upset her. I’ve never been able to tell her everything that happened, and about her beast of a father, but it’s all there in my diary. I want her to know who she is, but not to think she is anything like them. She’s my darling girl and has made up for all that I suffered.’
‘That’s good to know, Lonia. And I’m sure Ella knows that, too.’
Nanny closed her eyes then, and Ella knew it was time for them to leave. She wondered about waking Nanny and trying to make her aware that she was there, but decided it was better that she got some rest.
As they prepared to leave, Ella felt a mixture of emotions: joy at knowing all she wanted to find out about herself was written down for her, but also a deep sadness at how she would soon face losing Nanny.
When they were outside, Paulo’s breathing became laboured, as often happened when he was taken from one atmosphere to another.
‘I shouldn’t have brought you, my darling. I should have taken you home.’ Ella tucked a blanket around him. The grey pallor of his beloved face frightened her. ‘We’ll soon be home, darling, and I will help you to bed. You need a rest.’
Paulo couldn’t answer her, as his body went into a spasm of coughing. Ella held him to her until it passed.
She wished she could hail a cab to get him home quickly, but that was impossible, as the chair would never fit in. With this thought came an idea that she should buy a car and learn to drive. Yes, that would be perfect. There were a few models that she thought big enough to take the chair, but if not, she could park close to wherever their destination was and Paulo could walk a few steps. As the idea took hold, it developed and she warmed to the thought of how she could not only take Paulo wherever they needed to go, but on outings, too – drives out into the country, and maybe even as far as Brighton to get some sea air.
Excitement seized her as it seemed a real possibility now, and she headed homewards finding new strength with which to push Paulo, and feeling full of hope for a better future. But her enthusiasm faded when they reached home and she saw the weariness in Paulo’s beloved face, and how his lips had a tinge of blueness to them.
For a moment she wondered if it would all be worth it, but then she knew it would. She had to make every moment she spent with Paulo a happy one – filled with adventure, love and laughter.