Although the spring sun warmed her as she sat in the garden of her home in the South of France, which stood on the edge of the vineyard owned by her dear friends, Flora and Cyrus, Ella’s body was stiff and cold. She shuddered as, in the distance, the church clock struck one p.m. In England, due to the way the countries changed their clocks back and forth, it was twelve noon – the time when Shamus was to hang.
He’d won reprieve after reprieve, but would he truly die this time? Part of Ella, a very small part, didn’t want him to. The part that held her caring side and honoured the preservation of life. But the largest part of her wanted it over. For him, and for herself.
His crimes were heinous and had devastated so many lives: murder being the most serious, with three victims in all. Then the raping of women, with his cronies holding their husbands and forcing them to watch; and his treatment of Tilly, poor Tilly. She had suffered so much at Shamus’s hands. And all done to gain wealth and extort money from those who had so little.
When Ella thought about it all, she wanted him to suffer the agony of walking towards his own death, and felt her shame at having been taken in by him and even thinking she could grow to love him. But even a demon such as Shamus could show a compassionate side; and, yes, the loving and passion that she had experienced.
Two months ago he had done something for her which, she knew, in his mind, would seem to make up for all he’d put her through in the past – he’d finally given a statement admitting that he had lied about Paulo. Shamus doing so had been down to Arnie. Oh, how she missed Arnie, and yet she had needed this time away from him.
Arnie had stayed in England and had worked tirelessly to clear her name. He’d even travelled to Poland and had confronted Calek with the statement Shamus had made, and had somehow persuaded her to give a statement, too, in which she admitted everything. Even to being a party to knowing that her mother had committed fraud. It appeared that Calek’s mother had had power of attorney for Ella’s father in his last two years, a time when his health was very poor and his mind wandered back in time. As he lost the ability to know what was happening around him, she gradually put everything in her own name.
Like mother, like daughter, because the only truthful thing Calek said was that she didn’t then know about Ella – just that there was a reason that drove her mother to do what she did; a reason her mother never shared with Calek, but which Calek now realized was that her mother wanted to eradicate her husband’s former life and see all his wealth go to the child she had borne him.
What had brought about this change of heart in Calek, Ella discovered, was that a miracle had happened, and Calek – despite what she’d been told – had fallen pregnant. It appeared that a pioneering doctor who worked in the field of gynaecology had been able to sort out whatever problem she had. Ella was happy for her and had forgiven Calek, but didn’t know if she would ever form a relationship with her in the future.
‘Are you all right, Ella?’
A hand reached out to her and held hers. Flors, her beloved friend, sat next to her. The years since they had parted hadn’t changed her. She was what Ella would term a beautiful person, inside and out. Her long, dark hair shone in the sunlight, and her dark eyes held kindness. Nothing about her delicate features spoke of what Flors had been through in the past, at the hands of her family. It had all horrified Ella when, just after she arrived here in the South of France nearly two years ago, Flora had opened up to her. Ella still couldn’t take in the fact that Flora’s adored husband, Cyrus, had turned out to be her half-brother. How brave they were to have gone against convention and moved to where no one knew them, so that they could be together.
A squeal of delight caught Ella’s attention. Flora’s four lovely children ran around happily, playing with and laughing at the antics of Paulo.
Squeezing Flora’s hand, Ella nodded. ‘Yes. I am. Do you think this time it will finally happen?’
‘Arnie seems to think so. Didn’t he say in his letter that Shamus has now accepted his guilt?’
‘Yes, he did. And that Shamus sent for a priest so that he could make a full confession.’
‘Well then, if that is so, no one will be working to get a reprieve for him.’
‘Can God forgive someone like Shamus, Flors?’
‘According to everything we have been taught, He can. But I have had many times in my life when I have doubted those teachings.’
‘I think everyone who was involved in the war, as we were, must doubt. I do myself.’
‘How do you see those years now, Ella? As you look back at them, I mean. Do they haunt you?’
‘No, Flors, why should they? We did our best. Do you have nightmares about them then?’
‘Sometimes. And a feeling of guilt that I was weak, and didn’t carry on nursing when Freddy died. I still grieve for him; he was the loveliest of brothers, and a gentle soul. A gifted musician who should never have gone to war.’
‘He was one of life’s lovely souls. We saw so many like him.’
‘We did.’
‘And it is easy, now that the emotions of the time have faded, to have recriminations. To think we should have done this or that. But the actions we took were driven by the situation we were in. We were such young women, tasked with trying to save lives whilst living in a bloodbath of hell. We all did our best. And but for you, Flors, we – Mags, you and I – would never have got out of Brussels alive. Nor would many of those French soldiers have survived. The way you took charge of that hospital, even though you weren’t a qualified nurse, and the way you led us to safety was amazing.’
‘We were so young, as you say. I remember when we arrived in Brussels in 1914, on that first posting, how we were all eager and ready to give our all. Then Germany invaded and reality soon hit us.’
‘Yes. How did we get through it?’
They were silent for a moment. Memories assailed Ella: the appalling conditions, becoming stranded behind enemy lines and then finding themselves alone, short of food and without guidance. Then the fear of what they had experienced during their escape visited her once more, as she thought of how they had stared down the barrel of a guard’s gun on the border of Holland. A shudder went through her.
‘I will never forget what we endured together, Flors. It bound us like sisters. And you are one of life’s unsung heroes. Your bravery should have been officially recognized.’
Flors didn’t answer. Ella saw a tear seep out of the corner of her eye and knew that, deep within her, Flors still suffered from all that had happened. How come they – two innocent young girls at the time – should have had to face so much? Ella squeezed her hand.
‘I wished Mags would write. I worry about her, and haven’t heard anything from her. Do you ever wonder about Mags, Ella?’
‘Yes. And as I told you when I first came here, I feel guilty about never having contacted her.’
‘My brother Harold is a beast. I’ve wished a million times that I hadn’t introduced him to Mags. She had everything he wanted – wealth, and the prospect of even more, when eventually she was left her father’s cotton mill. He pursued Mags relentlessly, making her believe he loved her.’
‘I know, but you must not take all of that on yourself. We were such close friends; it was bound to happen that we would meet each other’s families. At least your own family and Mags’s. I didn’t know if I had any family back then.’
‘Harold thought he had Mags right where he wanted her, but you know – I never told you before – she defied him once, when he wouldn’t help me. Cyrus and I were destitute and my little Alice needed medical care. And Mags went against Harold’s orders and helped me. She was with me through my little Alice’s passing, and I still feel that she is with me, even though she doesn’t contact me.’
‘We will make it our mission to find her in the future, I promise. I just need to sort my own life out first. And go forward from the past. It is terrible to say it, but if at this moment Shamus is dead, then I can begin to do that.’
‘You have never spoken of your plans, Ella. And I haven’t liked to push you to. Have you made any?’
‘Yes. Arnie tells me that I will inherit everything Shamus had. It will amount to a fortune. I intend to set up a trust fund that will help all those he wronged. Especially Tilly, the girl I told you about, although I have helped her already, and her letters speak of her happiness and how she is doing so well. She has met a man she has fallen in love with. He was a reporter at the court during Shamus’s trial, so he knows all she has been through. She tells me they will marry later this year. I’ll make Tilly’s home and stables back over to her. And I’ll fund her wish to turn the stables into a shop that sells clothing for horse-riding and home-made saddles, besides other equipment for those who go hunting or ride for pleasure.’
‘That sounds wonderful. When you told me of Tilly, my heart went out to her. It’s so nice to hear of a happy ending.’
‘Yes, and to think that she and her father will see the day when they get back all – and more – of what Shamus took from them. I’ve other plans, too. I’ll make a generous donation to the Red Cross, as a thank-you and a tribute to Miss Embury’s work; and to the Salvation Army, which I will stipulate must be used specifically for those soldiers who returned so badly wounded that they have been unable to work and ended up on the street. This donation will be a salve to my conscience, as I always intended to volunteer my services to them, but life got in the way. And it will make me feel better about the way I treated Miss Embury, after all her kindness to me. It hurt her that I didn’t turn to her when I needed help. My stupid pride stopped me. And then with the rest of the money, I will secure my own, Paulo’s and Arnie’s future. Shamus owes me that much.’
‘Oh, Ella. Are you finally ready to let Arnie fully into your life?’
‘I am. I have loved him from the start, though I didn’t realize it at first, but I wasn’t ready. And Arnie has been generous in his love for me, and has given me the time I needed. This time I have spent here with you, and in this lovely house that I have bought, has given me that healing, but I couldn’t take the final step. Shamus wouldn’t divorce me, so I have been shackled. Arnie didn’t deserve to live like that, with a woman he couldn’t make his wife. I have missed him so much. His letters have been a salve to me. Through them, our knowledge of each other and our love has developed and grown. And, Flors, I am ready, really ready, not only to receive Arnie, but also to let go of my beloved Paulo. He will always have a place in my heart, but there is a large part of it that is vacant, and Arnie will fill that.’
‘And Shamus?’
‘Yes, I am ready to let go of him and all he did to me. I can only do that in forgiveness. And I realize now, that can happen. Shamus has repented and has made my life better; he has made his peace with God. And I now know that I want him to find peace, and that he would want me to distribute his fortune in the way I have described. I just need that telegram to arrive and for it to say that he and I are free.’
‘Is there some tea, for a soul who is dying of thirst? Or are you two honey childs of mine going to sit and talk right through the afternoon?’
‘Ha, sorry, Rowena.’ Ella rose and ran to Rowena and into her open arms, where she received a hug and a kiss planted on her cheek.
‘I knows what it is you’re going through, Missy Ella, and I’m sorry I dropped off to sleep and missed sitting with you through it.’
‘No, don’t be. You need your naps.’
Letting go of Ella and hugging Flors, Rowena smiled through her tears. She was always emotional these days, and a simple show of affection could set her crying.
Not long after the trial ended, her husband Tobias had suffered a heart attack and died. Rowena’s world had all but ended. Flors had travelled to England to bring her to France for what was meant to be a break, staying with Ella. But Rowena had settled so well and had made such a niche for herself – looking after the children, when needed, and helping Flors with the household chores in her huge chateau – that neither she nor they wanted her to return to England. Not that Rowena had a job as such, or was in any way a servant to them; she just did what she wanted to do and what kept her happy. And to Ella and Flors’s delight, happiness had seeped back into Rowena, and her jolly countenance kept them all going.
‘You two go and sit in the sun and I’ll fetch tea for us, and some refreshment for the children.’
‘No, Missy Ella, you gonna have to stop looking after me. I’ll help. I ain’t too old yet, even if this bulk of mine needs more shut-eye than a newborn.’
Ella laughed out loud, ‘Come on then, Bossy-boots.’
Rowena held her hands together under her huge bosom and let out a laugh that warmed Ella right through. There was no tonic like the one Rowena’s jolly and loving nature could bestow, and suddenly Ella felt that no matter what had happened at twelve noon, she would cope. She had Rowena and Flors by her side, and she knew, too, that it was time to let Arnie fully into her life.
Ella had mixed emotions when two telegrams arrived the next day. Shamus had gone to his death in a brave manner, with a priest by his side. His last words had been, ‘Tell Ella that I am sorry. Ask her to make right all the wrong that I did.’ Looking across at the gentle hills that led to the azure sea, Ella had let her tears flow.
It was over.
As she wiped away the tears that had given her relief, the fields lining the slopes came into view. They housed rows and rows of grape vines that Cyrus and his men had planted. To Ella, they represented the future. A future full of hope. A future spent with her Arnie and the family they would build together.
The second telegram said that Arnie had given notice of terminating his job:
My life is yours now, Ella. We will go forward together. It is our time. And I want that time to be spent in France. In three weeks we will be reunited, and soon we will be married. I love you beyond words, my darling.
Ella allowed the smile that played around her lips to develop into a giggle and then a full belly laugh, as she raised her hands in the air and looked heavenwards. ‘I’m free! Free!’
Twirling her body, she let the joy that she felt cleanse her of the final remnants of the past. Then she stood still and allowed her heart to long for the day when Arnie arrived and she would give herself completely to him. Life from now on was going to be beautiful. Beautiful. No more ripples, no more losing those she loved.
She had her son; and her lovely friend, Flors, was back in her life; and dear Rowena, and soon, very soon, her life would be complete. Her love – her Arnie – was coming to make her his wife.