21

Micah

“Barnes & Noble opened back up, and so has the library. Dolly is going back to work. I’m heading to the bar, and I doubt I can stay tonight. Send someone over here, but so help me GOD, it’d better not be you.” Pepper’s heated tone came through on the line.

I took one more pull from the cigarette in my hand, then dropped it to the pavement and covered it with my boot. My eyes were locked on the apartment window across the street. Pepper had made it clear that I wasn’t to call or come by Dolly’s, so I stayed on the bench across the street and watched to make sure she was safe. I had typed out at least fifteen texts to her and deleted them in the past forty-eight hours. Sending her a fucking text didn’t feel right.

She deserved more than that. I just needed my sister to leave the damn apartment so I could get close to her.

“I’ll send Brick,” I told her.

“What are you doing about Canyon?” she hissed.

“His ten days are almost up. We’re going to find him,” I replied, fighting the need to light up another cigarette. “He’ll be handled soon.”

Pepper let out a weary breath. “Take that crazy Mafia guy that everyone is so scared of with you.”

She was mad at me, but she was still worried about me. That was a good sign.

“Presley,” I replied. “He’ll be there, along with some others.”

“Okay, good. Then, you get that done. Don’t get put in prison. And stay away from Dolly.”

Only the first request I could promise, the second thing was a possibility, and the last one was a no. I was going to see Dolly, and Pepper was going to have to get the fuck over it.

“How is she?” I asked, staring at the window as if I could actually see shit this far away.

“Fine. Better. Why do you care?” She was annoyed. “Did you have a sudden stroke of guilt?”

“I care about her, Pep,” I admitted.

It was possibly more than care. I was struggling with it. What I did know was that I missed her. I thought about her all the time. I wanted in that goddamn apartment so bad that I was close to snapping and going with Pepper in there so that I could see for myself that Dolly was okay.

Pepper was silent for a moment. I saw her walk out of the building and pinch her temples as she held the phone to her ear, not knowing I was watching her.

“Micah, she’s fragile. You caring about her is not okay. She can’t handle you and your ways.”

“Why is she fragile, Pep?” I urged.

It had been keeping me up at night. Knowing there was shit in her head that was dark. Worrying that she was hurting herself and I wasn’t there to stop it.

“Her past isn’t an easy one. It’s not something I talk about to anyone. Mom doesn’t even know. Just…she has emotional trauma going back to when she was nine years old and her dad died.”

Losing your dad was hard. I knew. But I couldn’t say it had caused emotional trauma. She’d had a mom. One she seemed close to—or had been…I thought. I hadn’t really paid much attention back then.

“Okay,” I said, waiting for her to explain more.

I watched as my sister ran her hand over her head and stared up at the sky, as if she was struggling with what to say.

“We lost a dad too,” I pushed, knowing she wanted to say more. I could see it in her body language.

“We didn’t find ours hanging from a rope in the garage,” she replied, and her shoulders slumped.

Fucking hell. The pain in my chest caused me to reach up and press against it with my hand.

Taking a deep breath, I looked back across the street at Pepper. “Her dad hung himself, and she found him…when she was nine?”

“Yes,” she said with a deep sigh. “Yes, she did. But that is only the beginning. I can’t tell you more. The rest is something she has trusted me with. The suicide you could find easily enough if you dug it up. It wasn’t a secret.”

How the fuck did it get worse than that? Why would a man do that in his home, where his child could find him?

“I need to see her, Pepper.” I wasn’t asking permission. I was just letting her know. At least when she found out I went over there the minute she left, she couldn’t say I’d lied to her.

“She doesn’t need to see you, Micah,” she said sternly, and her entire body tensed.

I watched as she stalked toward her car, as if she were coming to find me and physically stop me.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because she’s going through something, and I think it’s because of you. I think it is you. That, or it’s the combination of Canyon using her and you…you taking her virginity.”

If she wanted me to stay away, that had been the wrong thing to say. No one was keeping me from her.

“If I’m the cause of it, then why can’t I be the solution? Maybe she needs to see me. Ever think about that?”

Pepper slammed her car door shut. “Actually, I did. I considered it. But…this is you we are talking about. What Dolly needs, you can’t give her.”

“And what is that?” I shot back at her, waiting to see that Mustang disappear from sight so I could make my way over there.

“Unconditional love.”

Well, fuck.