30

Dolly

I walked into the apartment after Micah unlocked the door and opened it, then stepped back for me to enter. Silence. He hadn’t spoken one word to me, and I wasn’t sure what to say. Everything I’d thought I knew had been snatched away from me in moments. The security I had started to feel with him was gone.

“What did Pepper tell you about Calista?” he asked me.

I turned around to see him standing there with his arms over his chest defensively. As if I had something to answer for and this was all my fault. I wanted to scream at him. Hit him. Make him hurt the way I was, but I knew I’d never do that.

“That you grew up together. You were in love with her, and she left after her father was killed,” I said simply.

He swore under his breath. “Did she tell you I was eighteen years old? That it’s been almost seven fucking years?”

I nodded.

“Then, why do you look like that?” he asked, staring at me.

“Like what?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

He dropped his hands to his sides, then tilted his head, and his expression softened. “Like I hurt you. Like I did something wrong and you can’t stand to look at me.”

I frowned. “What Pepper told me wouldn’t have had a punch if you hadn’t introduced me as a friend, then left me without any explanation.” I let out a hard laugh, then found that my pain was starting to turn to anger. “I guess I should have clarified exactly what it was we were doing here. I seem to have gotten my wires crossed what with you staying with me every night, fucking me, buying me a freaking pink helmet!”

Micah’s brows drew together, and he took a step toward me. “Did you just say fucking, Dolly Dixon?”

I scowled up at him. He wasn’t going to change the subject. Not now. Not when he had just pierced my chest like he had.

“Don’t,” I warned him, taking a step back.

“Don’t what? You don’t want me near you now? Because some girl from my past showed up and I didn’t respond the way I should have?”

I shook my head, narrowing my eyes at his beautiful face. “No. I’m just trying to decide if I want to keep fucking my friend or not,” I spat out, surprising myself.

He moved fast, and before I could move, his hands grabbed both my arms and held me still. I tried jerking free but realized it was pointless, so I just glared up at him.

“If the word fucking comes out of that pretty mouth one more time, I will turn you around and fuck you right here over this sofa. Now, if you want to talk about tonight and Calista, then we will do it. Yes, I handled it wrong. She had surprised me. Seeing her pissed me off. Her walking up to me like she had every right to made me fucking furious. But I shouldn’t have called you a friend.” He paused, then sighed. “I don’t really know what to label us, Tink. I’ve not thought about it. I just wanted her to leave.”

Girlfriend would have been an easy word to think of, but I didn’t say it. I bit my tongue because I wanted him to keep talking.

“She is my past. My youth. She means nothing to me.”

“You loved her,” I said.

He sighed, then nodded. “Yeah, I did.”

The little repair his words had done to my shattered chest was undone with those three words. I swallowed against the lump in my throat. It was closing in, getting tighter.

One hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two.

“But it was a long time ago. Whatever love there was has been gone for years,” he said, then brushed over my lips with his thumb. “The woman I want to go to bed with tonight. The one I want in my arms. The one who makes me forget all this shit and the one I want to sink my dick into is you. Just you, Tink.”

But he didn’t love me. He wasn’t ready to call me his girlfriend.

This was something though. We had just been together or doing whatever it was we had been doing for a month now. I couldn’t expect him to fall in love with me so fast. But…I stared up into his face and knew I’d do whatever he asked of me and deal with the pain. Because I loved him.

The words not enough were back, hammering in my head. Trying to take the happiness I had found with Micah away. Reminding me of my flaws. The people who hadn’t wanted me. Who hadn’t fought for me.

“Tink?” Micah’s voice called out to me.

I blinked, then focused on him again.

“There you are. Where did you go?” He brushed his knuckles along my cheek. “Come take a shower with me. I’ll wash your hair.”

I nodded, fearing that this was the beginning of the worst heartbreak I’d ever experience. Calista wasn’t going to disappear. She wasn’t going to be less beautiful, and she wasn’t going to forget Micah. I knew that. It all came down to, did I trust him? Or was that even something that I should be considering? If he realized he still loved her, it wouldn’t be a matter of trust. It would be a matter of the heart. Just like I couldn’t stop loving him…if he loved her, how could I expect him to just stop?

One hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two, one hundred twenty-two.

I stood, looking out the window in the kitchen as I drank my espresso.

Last night, Micah had been sweet and attentive. He’d made me come six times before we finally both passed out from exhaustion. Twice, I had done that squirting thing that he loved so much. I was still unsure how it happened because it wasn’t me controlling it. The stronger the orgasm, the more likely I would do it. That much I had figured out.

I heard Micah’s footsteps only moments before I felt his hands come around me. Smiling into my cup, I leaned back against him and sighed. He’d told me over and over last night how special I was and how much he wanted me. It hadn’t been a declaration of love, but it had soothed my fears some. Enough that I could breathe deeply again.

He bent down until he could nibble on my ear. “I woke up hard, and you weren’t there,” he said in a raspy, sleepy voice.

I laughed and looked back at him, tilting my head so I could see his eyes. “You always wake up hard.”

“With the smell of you on the sheets, reminding how good that pussy is, I can’t help it.”

Shaking my head, I laughed again and turned back to my espresso.

Micah reached around and took it from me. “Pull up this flimsy nightie and bend over the table,” he ordered me before swatting my butt with his hand.

I started to ask for my espresso back when his hungry gaze met mine. His eyes roamed over my pearl satin nightgown, as if he wanted to rip it off my body. That was enough to change my mind and do as I had been told. I walked over to the table and bunched the nightgown around my waist, then leaned forward, placing my palms flat against the wood.

“Goddamn, that’s a pretty ass,” he growled as I looked over my shoulder to see him shove his boxer briefs down before grabbing my hips and angling them up. “Spread your legs, baby.”

Going up on my tiptoes, I opened them wider and inhaled deeply as he slid inside of me.

“Fuuuck yes,” he moaned. “That’s so good. I love seeing my good girl bent over, being bad for me. I tell you to do it, and you do it. Drives me insane.”

His hips began to piston in and out of me. The table shook beneath me, and I cried out every time he sank deeper.

“That’s my cunt,” he said with his next thrust. “Always wet for my cock.”

Strangled sounds came from me as his dirty words and praise sent sparks of pleasure through me. I wanted to make him feel this way. I loved knowing I could. Lifting my bottom more for him, I was startled when his palm landed hard on my left butt cheek.

“Leaving me in bed alone,” he said harshly. “Makes me want to see this round ass red from my hand.”

“Oh God,” I moaned as my head fell forward.

“You like that, baby? You like me spanking your sweet ass?” he asked as his hand slapped the other side.

“MICAH!” I screamed as my sex pulsed, and the promise of my coming orgasm began to build inside me.

He slapped my bottom harder this time, then cursed. “Fuck, I love the way it jiggles.”

I closed my eyes tightly, unsure if that was praise or not.

“Take my dick, baby,” he panted. “Hot little pussy.”

The wave hit me, and I clawed at the wood as I let out screams of pleasure. The rush from between my legs made my legs tremble as I felt my body convulse.

“FUUUCK! That’s it. Squirt all over my cock, baby. FUUUCK!” His fingers bit into my flesh as he began to jerk behind me. “GAH!” he shouted as he pulsed inside me. Filling me up. Marking me.

I rested my forehead on the table, panting as his hold on me eased, and he slowly pulled out of me.

He ran his palms over my bottom and squeezed gently. “You drive me crazy, Tink.”

It wasn’t love. But it was something.