Chapter Forty-Six

Santa Cruz, July 10, 1953

CHARLOTTE

The doorbell cuts through my dream, slicing it apart, visions of my parents evaporating as I remember I’m in America. It’s funny how my dreams take me back now, as if I were a child again. They leave me feeling disorientated, and it takes awhile to readjust to reality. I reach out a hand, patting the place next to me. Jean-Luc’s not there. He must have gotten up early again.

“Mom,” Sam shouts. “It’s the doorbell.”

“Can you go? I’m not dressed yet.” Maybe it’s later than I thought. Turning to look at the clock, I see it’s 7:30. It might be the mailman.

Marge’s voice echoes through the house. “Hi there, Sam. Is your mom in?”

What can she want at this time of the morning? I pull the sheets off, put on my dressing gown, and go downstairs.

“Hi, Marge.” I greet her from the last stair.

She looks flushed, as if she’s been running. She’s wearing her bright orange sundress, and it clashes with her red cheeks. I can see her waiting for Sam to go back upstairs.

“Charlie.” She sounds concerned. “Is everything all right? We saw the police car.”

“What?” My heart freezes.

“The police car, this morning.”

I grip the banister. I feel like I’m falling from a great height. I pull my dressing gown belt tight, forcing myself to stay upright.

“Charlie, is everything okay?” She takes a step toward me.

“I just got up too quickly. I’m fine.” I hold my hand up. Don’t come any closer. My legs feel like they’re turning to dust. I collapse onto the stair.

Marge’s face looms large. She sits down next to me, but the stair is narrow, and I feel her flesh through my dressing gown. Her sweet perfume hits the back of my nostrils. It makes me feel sick.

“What’s going on, Charlie?”

I can’t form any words. There’s a dam in my head, about to burst. “I… I don’t know what the car was doing there, Marge. I don’t know. I should get dressed.”

But Marge doesn’t move. “You know you can talk to me. We’re friends.”

“I’m okay,” I whisper through gritted teeth. “I’ll call you later.”

She puts her hand on my shoulder. “Charlie, you’ve been distant these last few weeks. I can see something’s troubling you.”

I shake my head, trying to make my voice lighter. “Everything’s okay.”

“Come on. I can see it’s not. You know a problem shared is a problem halved.”

I just need her to go. I need to think. Standing up, I move toward the front door and open it.

She looks at me with wide, disbelieving eyes. “Well, you know where I am if you need me.” She gives me one last meaningful look before leaving.

Through the smoked glass I watch her distorted shape walking away. Then I turn back to the stairs, leaning on the banister. The police have taken him away. They know.

The phone explodes in my ears. Oh, God, please make it be Jean-Luc, telling me he’s on his way home, that there was some mistake. I pick it up. “Hello.”

“Charlotte.”

“Jean-Luc. Where are you?”

I can hear him trying to form words, mumbling.

“Jean-Luc?”

“Sam’s parents are alive.”

“What? What are you saying?” I clasp the phone to my ear, unable to make sense of what I’ve heard.

“Charlotte, they both survived.”

“What? But… but how? It can’t be true.” I drop the receiver. My hands are shaking, my whole body overtaken by a fierce trembling. I hear his voice on the other end of the phone, but I can’t pick it up.