Mason took a swig from his beer bottle, nodding along to his friends’ conversation while lost in his own thoughts. Jocelyn would be there any minute, and he was more nervous than expected.
He’d offered to pick her up, but she declined, taking a car service instead. She’d said it didn’t make sense for him to pick her up only to take her back to his house. Logical, but not very gentlemanly of him. And that was the bottom line of his concern. He didn’t want his friends to be a reflection on him, but how could they not? They were good guys once you got to know them, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t be assholes.
A knock at the door shook him out of his thoughts.
“Oooh. Who could that be?” Bo asked with a mocking tone.
Preston chuckled and poured another shot for himself and Bo.
“Come on, guys, be nice, please,” Mason said with all seriousness. He was starting to regret not letting them know that Jocelyn was older than him. Even if it was just to get some of the hazing they were going to give him out of the way.
Mason made his way to the door, pulling it open to reveal the stunning Jocelyn. His eyes went wide as he took her in. She was wearing dark colored, skinny jeans, and a white, flowy top, with high heels that brought her closer to his height. She rarely wore jeans, but it was a great look on her.
“Hey, Joss.” Mason paused. “Wow, you look great.”
“Thanks.” She blushed.
He loved seeing the color creep on her face.
“Are you going to invite me in?” she asked with a giggle.
“Oh shit, yeah. Please.” Mason shook his head, feeling like a dummy for gawking.
Pulling the door open, he gestured for her to come in.
“Wow. Look at this place. This is beautiful.”
“Thanks.” Mason looked around with a shrug. “It’s pretty nice. It’s no mansion up on the hill, but it serves its purpose,” he teased.
He shut the door behind her, giving the open-concept loft a once-over. It had been completely remodeled before he and Preston moved in. It had high ceilings and exposed brick walls. It most certainly didn’t match the outside of the run-down looking building.
Jocelyn rolled her eyes at the comment about her mansion. “I don’t know, I bet a lot of people would die for an apartment like this.”
“Maybe. Come on, let me get you a drink and introduce you to my friends.” Mason clasped hands with Jocelyn as he led her over to the open kitchen where his friends were standing around the island.
“Guys, this is Jocelyn,” Mason called out, giving Jocelyn a reassuring squeeze. Not sure if he was trying to reassure her or himself.
“Jocelyn, this is Bo.” He gestured to the man with smooth, dark skin. “And this is Preston. He’s my roommate and co-owner of The Viggo. You might have seen him there?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Jocelyn smiled. “Nice to meet you guys.”
“You too,” the men said almost in unison, nodding.
Mason gave his friends a hard look as they stared at Jocelyn as if she were a puzzle they were trying to solve. He clenched his jaw; he was going to have to set his friends straight before they made a fool of him. Why did anyone care about their fucking age difference? Jocelyn was beautiful, and the age barely registered on her face, not that it mattered.
Jocelyn’s hand gently caressed his forearm. As she looked up for reassurance, there was a panic on her face that she was struggling to hide, but to him it was as plain as day. This was not going how he’d pictured it, and that was about to fucking change.
“So, are you going to offer me a drink? Is that tequila I see over there?” she asked, breaking the silence.
“Yes. of course. Where are my manners?” Mason said, returning her smile. “Who wants shots?”
Mason didn’t break away from Jocelyn, holding her hand and towing her along with him to the bar area.
“Guys?” Mason’s question was more of a demand, or a challenge, rather than an invitation. And they must have sensed it as they quickly spoke up.
“Oh yeah,” Preston answered first.
“Me too, for sure,” Bo added.
“Great.” Mason let go of Jocelyn’s hand and cut up some lime before pouring shots.
“So, Jocelyn, you like clubs?” Preston asked.
Mason let out a sigh of relief when Preston engaged Jocelyn. His friend had stepped up, remembering his place as best friend.
“I don’t not like them,” Jocelyn snickered. “I’ve been to a few, but that was years ago.”
“Oh yeah? We’re going to a new one called The Jasmine Room. Have you heard of it?”
“No. I haven’t.” Jocelyn shook her head.
“Which ones have you been to?” Bo asked.
“Let’s see.” She pressed her lips together, pausing. “I’ve been to the Rouge, the Caspian, and…uh…the Arete.”
Mason was pouring the last shot when Bo’s scoff echoed the apartment, cutting into him.
“I think the only one that’s still open is the Arete. But it’s a total shithole now.”
Silence followed the statement, and anger filled Mason. This was turning into worst case scenario. Up until now they’d had the decency not to say anything overtly rude. Is this what she’d gone through with her friends? Or worse? Mason swallowed the lump in his throat, discarding the downer thought; it wasn’t helping anything right now.
“Here.” Mason smiled at a stoic-faced Jocelyn, handing her the cinnamon colored liquor before dishing out the rest.
“A toast?” Preston asked.
“Here’s to rattlesnakes and condoms—”
“Bo!” Mason cut him off. “What the fuck, man?”
“What, dude?” Bo shrugged unassumingly.
“How about Jocelyn gives us a little toast?” Preston asked, and Mason was thankful that at least one of his friends was seemingly coming around.
“Oh. Um. I don’t know.” Jocelyn bit her bottom lip, and her face paled.
“Come on. Give us your best one,” Mason coaxed.
“All right.” She squared her shoulders and flipped her hair back.
He liked the confident stance she was taking. His friends needed to try to like her, but he also hoped she would try to like them. And here that was. She was trying. Not the timid woman he’d met in the bar all those weeks ago.
“A very, very wise woman once said…” She paused, looking thoughtful as she nodded at the men. “Fuck it and have tequila!”
The men choked on laughter. “Fuck it!” they chimed in, tossing back the shot.
The moment of solidarity had seemed to come and pass with the shot as they were returned to an awkward silence.
“How long have you guys lived here?” Jocelyn asked.
“Coming up on five years, right, Preston?” Mason nodded toward his friend.
“Yep. I think that’s right. We moved in the last year of college, right before we purchased The Viggo.”
“It’s a beautiful loft,” Jocelyn complimented, looking around nervously.
“Shit, where are my manners? Let me give you a tour.” Mason locked hands with Jocelyn’s, for the first time ever noticing the warmth to them. She was nervous. Really nervous. “So, you’ve seen the living-dining area. Up there,” he said, pointing up behind the kitchen wall, “is the loft. We’ve made it into a man cave of sorts—a pool table, darts, and gaming systems.”
Jocelyn’s sweet chuckle was endearing, and it made him relax. How everything could change when it was just the two of them together hurt. He’d naïvely hoped for a seamless transition into one another’s lives. He’d expected it to be difficult to do with her friends, but it was starting to look like it was going to be a lot of work on both sides. This time, for this girl, Mason wasn’t afraid of putting in the work. And that was that; deciding that he wasn’t going to let it get to him anymore.
“Down this way is my room,” Mason continued the tour as he opened the door to a master suite. “We have two masters, which is nice. Preston is a pig! I learned that freshman year in college. It was definitely a selling point for this place.”
“Oh no.” Jocelyn laughed. “So, you bought this place?”
“Technically, Preston owns it and I rent. I didn’t want to be locked down with him.”
“Commitment issues?”
“Not currently.” Mason winked.
A bashful smile swept across Jocelyn’s face. Turning into him and wrapping her arms around his neck, she pressed up on her toes, giving him a kiss. Mason’s arms slipped around her waist pulling her close, enjoying the intimate embrace. In his house, in his room, in his world.
Making a place for her in his life was priority number one. Thinking back now on his past relationships, maybe he could have been a better boyfriend, but the timing always seemed off. He was finishing school, or starting up the business, or any number of excuses that now seemed like nonsense. He knew now that he hadn’t been ready to put them first, but none of them were Jocelyn.
“Having you in my bedroom is awfully distracting.” Mason brushed a hand through her hair.
“Humm.” Jocelyn smiled.
“The sooner we go, the sooner we can get back.” He raised his eyebrows, hoping his assumption would be confirmed.
“Get back here? Like me stay here tonight?”
“That sounds good to me.” He shrugged.
“I think so too.” Jocelyn pressed her lips together tightly, holding back a beautiful, silly grin.
A vision of him playfully tossing Jocelyn on his bed and stripping off her clothes one piece at a time had his pants becoming uncomfortably tight. He could almost hear her soft moans echoing off the walls as he pressed kisses across her smooth, milky skin; head to toe and everything good in between.
Mason shook his head. Shit. “Yes, we should get out of here. The temptation is too strong.”
Jocelyn giggled, looking around the room, before meeting his eyes. “You know, Mason.” She paused with a content sigh. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt so desired in my life, and it’s really nice.” Her face went red before she looked away.
Taking her hands in his, he interlocked their fingers, gently soothing his thumb over the soft surface.
“Maybe that’s a silly compliment. Or something people aren’t supposed to say out loud, but I wanted you to know. And not just in here.” She shrugged.
Mason wasn’t sure what to do with the words. They were intimate, without being sexual, and extremely personal. It did something to him on a level he wasn’t ready to explore, but he understood the gravity of the praise.
“Thank you.” Thank you? Ugh. You couldn’t have done better than that?
Jocelyn looked up at him, her eyes softened, a small smile on her face, and maybe an undercurrent of disappointment.
Mason pulled her hand up to his mouth, kissing it. “Come on, let’s go have another adventure!”
* * * *
Jocelyn followed Mason out of the bedroom, silently shutting the door behind her, replaying the absurd compliment over and over in her head. Who says something like that? Feeling like an idiot, she needed a minute to herself, and found the welcome reprieve as they passed the guest bathroom.
“I think I’ll use the restroom before we go. Is that okay?” she asked.
“Yes. It’s okay if you use the bathroom,” Mason teased.
She shook her head with an eye roll, unable to hold back the word vomit that continued at every turn.
Mason kissed her cheek. “I’ll be in the kitchen.”
Nodding, Jocelyn slipped into the bathroom, quickly locking the door behind her before leaning against it for support. She put her hands over her face, trying to hide from the words replaying in her mind. I should’ve taken a Xanax. The idea of the night had been full of anxiety for her. It had been decent, but now she felt dumb. She just wanted to let Mason know that she cared for him, and she’d noticed that he was putting effort into their new-found relationship.
Moving over to the mirror, she looked at her reflection as she fiddled with her hair. She contemplated calling Taylin for help, but decided against it. She was going to have to get through this on her own. Besides, she was fairly confident she knew what Taylin was going to say, and it wouldn’t be helpful. Which was why she’d been avoiding her for the last week. Maybe she needed to expand her circle of friends?
“So, what’s the deal with the cougar, man? This is the chick you’ve been running around with for the last month?”
Jocelyn’s jaw dropped at the faint words. The washroom was separated by the kitchen wall, which apparently was thin. Not that it mattered; it didn’t seem like they were trying to keep their voices down. But it was hard to tell which friend was talking.
“Yeah, dude, it’s not like you need a sugar mama, we’re making great money at the restaurant. I’m mean, she’s hot, in like a MILF sort of way.”
Jocelyn heard the scoff and her stomach painfully sank. She knew it! That’s how people saw them. How they would always see them.
“Fuck you guys. I like her, and she’s hot in a hot sort of way. Why do you care who I date? I’ve dated super bitchy girls and you haven’t said shit about them.” Mason’s voice was much lower than the other men, but she was still able to hear him.
“Yeah, but she isn’t a girl.”
Tears pooled in Jocelyn’s eyes. That one hurt the worst. She’d let Mason convince her that their age difference wasn’t a big deal. That even though people threw around words like ‘cougar’ and ‘cub’, it was becoming more socially acceptable. He made her believe it was going to be okay. But Jocelyn knew in the back of her mind that it was always going to come down to this. That’s all the world was going to see. And while it didn’t seem to bother him, she wasn’t sure she was strong enough to handle the stress of it all. The anxiety it would bring, having to defend their relationship, to shake off the looks of disapproval, and be okay with it.
“Watch your fucking mouth! She’s my girl, and you’re gonna have to get the fuck over it. And keep your voice down. She’s in the next room.”
The tears fell freely at Mason’s defending words. At the realization she’d been in the bathroom for longer than necessary, Jocelyn pulled herself together, wiping the tears and adding a dusting of powder to cover the blotchiness on her skin from crying. She put on a bright smile, mustering up what little courage she could to face the little dipshits that were Mason’s friends.
She spoke up before entering the room, giving them a minute to act like they weren’t just talking about her.
“Sorry that took so long,” she announced. “Taylin called. I guess she had a huge fight with her husband.” Giving Mason a halfhearted smile, she placed her hand on his forearm, hoping the connection would dispel any suspicion he might have. “I need to go. She’s going to come stay at my place tonight.”
Jocelyn knew she wasn’t hiding the lie well when Mason eyed her skeptically. The whole situation had sparked something inside her. She had always been timid, but the pain had transitioned to anger tonight. If they could speak so harshly about her, someone they didn’t know, she could assemble a snarky comment of her own.
She turned to Mason’s friends, who were standing awkwardly in the open kitchen, fake smiles on their faces as they avoided eye contact.
“Who knows, she might be getting divorced here soon? Any of you boys in the market for a nice cougar? She’s almost as rich as I am, so you might even get a sugar mama out of it.”
Jocelyn got satisfaction out of the sheepish looks on their faces. But the expression on Mason’s face was shocked mixed with remorse.
She took advantage of Mason’s lack of words and leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “I can see myself out.” She smiled at the group, and with a wink, she said, “You boys stay out of trouble tonight.”
Jocelyn made a swift exit, but when the cool hallway air hit her, she was overwhelmed with embarrassment, not proud of what she’d said. She was usually calmer and more collected than that. But the men had hit a nerve. Mason had changed her life; she was happy, living life more than she ever had in the past, and experiencing things she hadn’t been brave enough to do.
She took a moment to call for a taxi before taking the elevator down the three floors. She was taken aback at the sight of Mason standing in the building entrance, slightly winded. She knew she hadn’t fooled him upstairs, but she assumed she would get a text or call later about it, not a confrontation now.
“Joss. I’m sorry.” He walked toward her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She let Mason pull her into him as he continued. “I know they’re jerks. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. And I chewed them out. It’s not going to happen again, ever.”
Yes, it is. She couldn’t help the disappointing, honest thought, even with his sweet, earnest tone trying to comfort her.
“People are dumb, especially men. Don’t let them get to you.”
Jocelyn looked up at him with a weak but genuine smile. He was a good man, and she knew with all her years of limited wisdom that they were hard to come by. And they didn’t get much better than Mason. She let out the breath she’d been holding and relaxed into him. She pushed herself up on her toes and gave him a tender kiss on the mouth.
“I’m fine. Really. I’m gonna go home and have some wine with Taylin.”
“At least let me drive you home.”
“It’s fine, I have a car coming.”
“Okay. I’ll wait with you.”
Jocelyn wasn’t surprised when Mason insisted on waiting with her until the cab arrived. She hooked her arm through the crook of his and leaned against his body. With Mason pressed against her, she could sense the worry pulsing through him. Heavy breaths caving in his chest with every inhale, and audible exhales had her own heart palpitations intensifying. She wanted to comfort him, but she hadn’t a clue what to say. It had been a night full of wrong words. She was still trying to process her own feelings.
“Promise me that we’re okay, Joss.” His soft words echoed in the cool night air.
She took a deep breath, holding it, letting it expand and stretch her lungs before releasing it. “We’re fine.”
“Prove it. Let me see you tomorrow.”
Her heart pounded, trying to make an escape from her chest up through her throat, making her mouth dry and words almost impossible. Jocelyn was worried that she was on the verge of a full-blown panic attack; the world spinning around her, making it impossible to get her bearings. She needed some time to figure things out. Jocelyn didn’t actually want it, but she needed some space from Mason. A day or two to sort her shit out, without his handsome smile and skilled hands distracting her from the real world. Something they’d been excellent at.
“Taylin needs me right now. I don’t know how long she’ll be staying with me.”
“The next day then?”
“Mason.”
“The day after that?” he asked, desperation clear in his voice.
“Mason, stop it,” Jocelyn said, trying to sound playful, but she knew what he was getting at.
“Joss. Don’t do this. Let’s talk about this now. I don’t want you going home upset. I don’t want this to be where you leave me.”
Jocelyn turned into Mason, putting her hands flat on his chest as his arms engulfed her body. His crystal blue eyes were full of promise, pleading, and wanting. She had wanted an adventure, but this had turned into a roller coaster; scary and exciting all at once, but this might be where she gets off.
“It’s fine, Mason. Don’t overthink it.” Jocelyn heard a horn honk and looked over her shoulder to see the cab waiting at the curb. “That’s me. I’ll call you,” she said, and reaching up on her toes, she placed a sweet kiss on his lips.
Before Jocelyn took two steps away a strong hand pulled her back. She twirled back, almost falling into Mason. His wild hands pushed desperately through her hair as he claimed her lips. His soft lips were now hard and demanding, pleading and warning. Jocelyn had never been kissed with such desperation and hunger. Mason had always been tender and gentle with her. This was different; it was hot and electrifying. Her body was instantly hit with need as she wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer as she opened the kiss to him, trying to keep up.
It was another honk from the taxi that freed her from the trance. She shook her head, trying to catch her breath while straightening out her blouse. Jocelyn couldn’t make herself look back up at Mason, who was now escorting her to the taxi.
“Hey, Joss. Don’t worry about calling me.”
Jocelyn’s breath hitched when Mason paused. Her heart pounded so loud she could hear it in her ears. She almost couldn’t hear what he said next.
“…because I will call you.”
She felt a ridiculous wide smile pull across her face as he opened the door of the cab. Damn you, Mason.
She slipped into the car, giving the driver her address before pulling out her cellphone.
Jocelyn: I need you.
Taylin: It’s about damn time. Now?
Jocelyn: Please. I’ll be home in 10.
Taylin: See you then.