“Wow. I can’t believe how smoothly everything is going!” Taylin called from across the room.
She was right; the planning, prep, and set-up were going fantastically well. The opening was four days away, and tonight they were putting some finishing touches on the room. Jocelyn was thankful that Taylin was an excellent planner, so they wouldn’t have much to do the day of the event. The photos were hung, and the décor was set. The only things left to be done on the day of: the program of sorts would be set out, the caterers and staff would arrive, and that was it.
That is it. Jocelyn’s heart pounded hard in her chest, and her mouth went dry. Panic hit her. What did you get yourself into? Damn you, Mason. But she could only blame half of this on Mason. He planted the seed, but in all actuality, she wanted to know. Just like the night she’d taken him to the charity event, curiosity got the better of her, and jumping in the deep end was the only way to find out if she could swim.
“Almost too good to be true,” Jocelyn said nervously.
“Oh, Jossie.” Taylin shook her head. “Something is going to go wrong. It’s the way of the world, but Mason and I will be right by your side to help you get through it.”
“I guess you’re right.” Jocelyn pressed her lips together in thought.
She wasn’t alone in this. Having more support than she’d felt in years had her overcome with emotion. Maybe even more support than when her husband passed away?
A knock on the door startled her, and she gave Taylin a questioning look.
“Don’t look at me. It’s probably Mason.”
Of course. Jocelyn went to the door, unlocking it, only to be surprised at the salt-and-pepper-haired man standing behind it.
“Tim,” she said, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice.
“Hey, Jocelyn. I saw the light through the window and thought you might be working late. Can I come in?”
“Oh, sure, of course.” Jocelyn recovered from her shock, finding her manners. “It is your building.” She laughed.
“Hey, Taylin,” Tim called across the room. “I should have expected you to be here too. Wow, the place looks great.”
“Hi. Thanks, we’ve been working hard,” Taylin replied.
“Looks like you’re just about done?”
“Done for the night I guess.” Jocelyn shrugged as she looked around the room.
“Long day, or night.” He paused with a smile. “Have you ladies had dinner yet?” he asked. “If not, you should let me treat you.”
“I didn’t even realize it was that late.” Jocelyn pulled out her cellphone, checking the time.
It was a little after nine PM. She was disappointed that there were no messages from Mason. The last two weeks had been the hardest. They were both trying to pretend it wasn’t taking a toll on their relationship, reassuring each other that once the event was done things would go back to normal. The blissful moments of connection kept her going. Knowing that he still loved her, that he still responded to her in the way that made her feel desired helped to push away the nagging voice in the back of her mind.
“Well, good thing I stopped by.” Tim laughed.
“Okay, sure. Dinner sounds nice,” she agreed. “Taylin, you in?”
“Maybe. Let me check with the husband and see what plans he has. But first, can you help me move these papers to the back?”
“Of course.”
“Oh, here, let me help too,” Tim chimed in.
“It’s okay, we got it,” Taylin said quickly. “Why don’t you look around? You can give us your opinion on how it looks. Really, suggestions would be great.”
Tim nodded with a smile and started off toward the back wall. Jocelyn followed Taylin into the office with a stack of papers in hand and set them in a neat pile on the desk.
“What are you thinking?” Taylin said with a harsh tone.
“What?”
“You can’t go to dinner with that man! Mason would lose his shit. You saw how he got the other night when the guy in the bar hit on you.” Taylin spoke candidly.
“Mason is going to be fine. We talked about that whole situation. He knows there’s nothing to be jealous of. Besides, you’re coming with us—it’s a group thing.” She shrugged off her friend’s comment, recalling the conversation she and Mason had. They’d agreed to trust one another.
“I’m not going. I told Phil that I’d come home after to discuss some things. And it’s not a good idea for you to push it now with Mason. You’ve mentioned how it’s been hard with you two spending less time together.”
“What’s going on with Phil?”
“Nothing. And don’t change the subject, that’s not what this is about right now.”
“Thank you for your concern and being on board with Mason. I appreciate it more than you know, but it’s fine. Besides, I’m going to take Tim to The Viggo for dinner, that way I can see Mason too.”
“All right, you’re a big girl,” Taylin said with blasé. “You guys can go ahead and take off. Call me if you need me. I’m going to finish a few things and leave in a bit.”
“Thanks, lady.”
Jocelyn turned toward the door, her head filled with so many thoughts that she was fearful it might explode. Is going to dinner a bad idea? What’s going on with Taylin? I just need to make it through this event and I can be a better friend and girlfriend, she promised herself.
* * * *
“Wow, this place is packed!” Tim said with surprise.
“It really is,” Jocelyn replied, shocked herself.
“Oh, you know what it is?” Tim offered up, “There was that big event down on the waterfront, I bet it’s over and people are flocking to the bars.”
Jocelyn nodded. That made sense. This was a trendy area, but she’d never seen the bar with standing room only, and they’d been told it was over an hour wait for the restaurant.
“Should we go see if we can find another place?” he suggested.
“Well… I mean, I guess,” Jocelyn said nervously as Taylin’s warning about Mason’s jealousy played in her head. “Just let me say hi to Mason, and then we can go.”
“Sure, whatever you want, but…”
“But what?”
“He looks awfully busy. Are you sure you don’t want to send him a text instead? Unless he wouldn’t mind if you interrupted?”
Interrupt? She’d never felt like that, or that she’d distracted him while at work, but then again, it had never been this crazy. Maybe Tim was right, that she should let Mason keep up the pace. It would mean that he’d be done sooner, right?
“Okay, yeah, a text should be just fine,” she said, looking up again at Mason working the bar, scrambling back and forth mixing drinks. She hoped that he would look up and see her standing there, but when he didn’t, she felt Tim was right. Mason was far too busy for her to throw him off his game.
* * * *
It was a quarter to eleven when the backup staff came into the bar to relieve Mason. He hadn’t heard from Jocelyn. Figuring that she and Taylin had lost track of time working on the last details, he decided surprising them with dinner might earn him extra boyfriend points.
He was about four blocks from The Viggo when he glanced into the large window of a packed restaurant and his tired eyes began playing tricks on him. He blinked his eyes a couple of times and shook his head, unable to believe what he was seeing. Jocelyn and a man sat at a table for two having dinner.
What…What? He hadn’t heard from her all night and here she was at dinner with another man! He wanted to storm into the restaurant and demand to know what the hell was going on. He needed answers, and they sure as hell couldn’t wait until tomorrow. Trying to keep his cool, he decided a text message might be the easiest way to get her attention. If not, he would just have to go in and get her.
Mason: Hey, can you talk a minute?
Mason waited for a reply as he peeked through the large window of the storefront restaurant. He watched as Joss got up from her chair, making her way toward what he assumed was the bathroom. Wasting no time, he marched into the restaurant, straight past the hostess and back toward where Joss had gone.
“Hey,” Mason said curtly.
Jocelyn whipped around to face him. “Hey.” She paused, obviously stunned to see him. “I was just going to text you back. Is everything okay? How did you know I was here?”
She cocked her head to the side as she questioned him, which only made him angrier. Who was she to question him?
“Since I hadn’t heard from you, I was headed to the gallery with dinner for you and Taylin,” he said, dropping the bag to the floor. “And I just happened to see you and your date through the window. Wanna tell me what the hell is going on?” Mason crossed his arms over his chest as he waited for an explanation, but he already knew that whatever she had to say wasn’t going to cut it.
“Shit. I totally forgot to text you. I’m so sorry. That’s Tim, you know him.”
“So?”
Mason bit down hard on his back teeth. He wasn’t placated finding out that she was on a date with Tim. He knew there was something sneaky about that man from the first time they met. And he resented the facts in front of him: they ran in the same social circles, they’d known each other for years, and he was convinced that her friends would find this man much more ‘age appropriate’. It was Tim’s space she was using for the upcoming event, maybe he came over often? Mason stewed at the idea of them becoming close, bonding over something that should be his and Jocelyn’s.
“So, what? He came by to see how things were coming along for the opening. Taylin and I were just finishing, and he offered to take us out to dinner. Taylin had to get home and I had no excuse, I couldn’t say no. And why would I? He’s my friend,” Joss said, trying to keep her words hushed as she looked around nervously. “We even tried to get a spot at The Viggo.”
Mason couldn’t care less if he was making a scene or not, this was important, and he wanted an explanation!
“If that’s the truth, then why are you here?”
“It is true,” Joss said, putting a hand on her hip and a scowl on her face. “The bar was packed, and the restaurant had over an hour wait list, and I was hungry, so we decided to come here.”
“That’s crap. Did you even tell them who you were? Why didn’t you come see me at the bar? I would have fit you in.”
“Mason, you were swamped. I didn’t want to bother you. Why are you getting so worked up over this? It’s nothing,” she said, taking a step forward and placing her hand on his forearm.
Mason stepped back, recoiling at her touch. “That’s fucking crap.” He shook his head before looking down at Joss. “I haven’t spent more than a couple of hours with you in the last week. I get a handful of text messages from you a day, and you’re too tired to see me when you’re done at the gallery. Cut the shit, what’s really going on?”
“Nothing is going on! You were busy, I didn’t want to bother you.”
“I’m never too busy for you, and you fucking know it! You’re the one who’s been so busy lately. I’d drop everything to see you if you just asked. And now…” Mason ran his hands over his face and over his shorn head. “I find you on a date with another guy. I don’t even know what to say.”
“Say about what? I’m not out on a date, damn it. Just calm down. Let me go tell Tim I’m leaving, and we can go back to my house and talk about this.”
“No.”
“No what?” Jocelyn asked bewilderedly.
“Just no. If you wanted to see me as much as I want to see you, you would have. Go, finish your date, and whatever else you want to do.”
Mason turned to leave, but he wasn’t done yet; seeing her there with Tim had him questioning more than one thing. Turning back around, he angrily ignored the glistening he could see in the corners of her eyes. He needed an answer to one more thing before he’d be satisfied enough to leave.
“Tell me this, since day one our age has bothered you. Was I just a stepping stool? The guy you messed around with until you were ready for someone your friends approved of? Was I a midlife crisis fuck?” Mason asked, his eyes holding hers, watching the expression on her face fall. “You know what… I take it back, I don’t want to hear you say it.”
He couldn’t hear the words that would turn his anger into heartache. He heard Jocelyn’s faint voice call out his name, but there was nothing else to say. He was over it. He’d chased her from the beginning—maybe too much?
Cynical thoughts ran through his head as he escaped into the cool evening, walking briskly down the street. Was she ever really that into him or had he just pushed her into it? She’d been lonely and timid; maybe he was the adventure she had been looking for and that’s all this was? No, it couldn’t be. Then what was it?
Mason searched for answers, but nothing came, except a growing pain in his chest at the realization that he’d just broken up with Jocelyn. And for what exactly? Having dinner with another man? For not bothering him at work, or not trying harder to make time in her schedule for him? Man, if Preston heard him complaining right now, he’d tell Mason to stop being a little bitch.
Mason turned the corner to his building, foregoing the elevator in favor of the three flights of stairs. Reaching the door of his apartment, he opened it quickly before slamming it shut.
“Fuck!” he yelled at the top of his lungs, the words echoing off the walls of the empty apartment as if they agreed with the sentiment.
* * * *
Jocelyn slipped into the bathroom, needing a moment to collect her thoughts. The accusations from Mason were a slap to the face. She tried to wrap her head around how he could think so poorly of her. Was what she did so terrible?
Tim! Jocelyn remembered the man was waiting for her, and she’d been gone long enough to cause concern. She swallowed back the hard lump in her throat, determined to keep it together until she got home. Taking a tissue from the counter, she dabbed the corner of her eyes and shook out her hair before exiting the bathroom.
“Sorry that took so long,” she said once she’d returned to the table.
Tim stood, greeting her like a gentleman, and they both sat.
“Is everything okay?”
She couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye. The concern in his voice was genuine, but right now she didn’t want his sympathy.
“It’s not actually. I have to go. Now,” she said, reaching for her bag.
“Oh, now? Okay, let me get the check, and I’ll walk you out.”
“Thank you for dinner.” She smiled, knowing it wasn’t fooling anyone. “But you don’t have to walk me out.”
Tim flagged down a waitress. “Here’s my card, something came up and we need to leave now. Can you hurry please?”
“Of course, sir.” The woman took the card and darted off.
“Jocelyn, what kind of man would I be if I let you walk out on your own at this time of night? Give it just a minute and we can go.”
“I’ll be fine. I do it all the time.”
“Why don’t you tell me what happened? Is it Taylin? Is she okay?” Tim asked in a hushed tone, leaning across the table.
She considered how much she should share, seeing how this dinner appeared to be the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Letting out a heavy sigh, her body sunk back in her chair. “I forgot to text Mason that we were going somewhere else for dinner. He stumbled upon us and wasn’t happy.” she summarized.
“He was upset? What gives him the right to be mad?” Tim balked.
Jocelyn shook her head, trying to shake the spinning of the world around her.
“Well, he is my boyfriend,” she shot back.
“You can’t be serious?” Tim scoffed, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest. “I mean, everyone knew that you guys were sleeping together, but we didn’t actually think you had something serious.”
“Who’s everyone?”
“You know what I mean. You’ve been mourning Cliff for years, so we were all happy to see you get out of your funk, but…honestly, that guy’s kind of a joke.”
“A joke, really?” Jocelyn pressed her lips together, rolling her eyes at the ignorant comment. “And what type of guy does everyone think I should be with, you?” Jocelyn asked condescendingly.
“Exactly!” Tim said louder, leaning across the table. “You should be with me. This guy can’t give you anything. What does he know about life? He hasn’t even lived it yet.” Tim paused, scratching at his jaw. “I can love you—I can give you everything in life you want. The idea of you two is absurd. What would Cliff even think!”
Jocelyn shook her head with disgust. “You know, I expected more from you. Much more. And as for Cliff… Well, that man loved me, he gave me the world, and I know he’d want nothing less than for me to find love again.” Jocelyn scooted out her chair. “We have nothing left to say to each other. Consider this friendship over. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
Jocelyn stood, making a swift exit, not looking back at the appalling man that she’d called a friend for so many years. This evening she’d been hit with one bomb after another: Mason leaving, her friends talking behind her back, Tim making an ugly pass at her. The phrase what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger was bullshit. This wasn’t going to kill her, but in no universe did she see herself coming out of this stronger.
Functioning on auto-pilot, she found her way down the street to her car. Her fingers were numb as they fumbled for the keys in her bag. She was thankful for her emotionlessness state. She would succumb to survival mode long enough to make it home, though she feared the promise of refuge of her home would betray her with memories of happy times with all of it, her past, her Mason, her future. Her heart sunk as she drove slowly down the well-lit streets. Home wasn’t going to provide her safety. She turned back, deciding to go into full hiding, settling on a dispassionate hotel in the heart of the city. A neutral third party.