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I heard a cup set down on the nightstand, and I opened my eyes. “Mama?” I called.
“No.”
I closed my eyes and gasped.
Jay was in my room.
“Brought you a cup of coffee.”
Coffee sounded good. Coffee with Jay, I wasn’t too sure about.
I heard him drag the chair from under my desk over to the bed, and he sat down. “I’m here, Delaney. I’m not going anywhere,” he said firmly.
“Okay,” I said softly. It wasn’t okay, though. None of this was okay.
I didn’t know what was what anymore or why Jay would still be here.
“I know you probably don’t want to talk right now, and I get that, but when you do want to talk, cry, or scream, I’m going to be here.”
Again, he was here with the right words, but he didn’t need to be. He didn’t need to be here at all. The thing holding us together was gone.
“You don’t need to do this, Jay,” I whispered.
He sighed heavily. “I know, Del.”
“Then why are you?”
“I don’t think you’re ready for that answer.”
I opened my eyes and slowly sat up. “What?” Jay looked tired. He was still wearing the same clothes as when we went to the hospital, and there was a good day's worth of scruff on his face.
“Right now, you don’t need to worry about why I’m here or what I’m doing.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. You don’t need to be here, Jay. You can go home.”
He shook his head. “I’m gonna do what I want, and right now, I want to be here,” he stated simply.
“There isn’t anything here for you anymore.” It was over. It was all done. “My mom is home, and she can take care of me if I need anything.” I wasn’t going to need anything, though. I was already feeling better physically, and I figured by Monday, I would back to school and work. Back to my normal before Jay and the baby.
“She went to lay down. She was up all night with you and needed some rest.”
Oh, duh. I hadn’t even thought about how tired she must be. “Well, I’ll be fine while she sleeps.” I was a med student, after all. I knew how to take care of myself and didn’t need Jay to stand guard.
“I’m not leaving, Delaney.”
I laid back down and pulled the blanket over my head. “Do whatever you want, Jay. I’m going back to sleep.”
I closed my eyes and waited for him to argue with me.
“Whatever you want, Del. I’ll be here when you wake.”
He could be there when I woke up, but after a few days, he wouldn’t be there anymore.
I didn’t get why he was doing this. He was putting off the inevitable of fading away.
He just needed to leave now and stop torturing me.
Jay Perez wasn’t mine to keep.
*
