“Hi,” Noah said. His eyes pleaded with her to talk to him.
“Hi,” Sydney returned. She’d been asleep in the guest room and awakened to pee. Her growling tummy had sent her to the refrigerator instead of back to bed. The microwave clock said 1:13 a.m. She had been asleep for about five hours. Sydney had every intention of finishing her takeout from earlier. She opened the refrigerator, then closed it. The smells assailed her nostrils and she didn’t want to get an attack of nausea.
Noah walked in and placed an empty glass into the dishwasher. Sydney suspected it was because he’d heard her in the kitchen.
“You look nice,” Noah said in a low, sensual tone.
She wore a coral-colored blouse with white jeans. Sydney had been too tired to change her clothes, shower and dress for bed. Instead, she’d ditched her sandals, plopped on top of the covers and fell asleep.
His eyes scanned her body, reminding Sydney it had been two weeks since they’d been intimate. He pierced her with a heated gaze.
Sydney saw the pain and longing reflected in his eyes. She wanted him, too. Her body reminded her just how much. She pushed passed Noah, brushing against his body in the process. She got a whiff of the ocean scent he wore and inhaled.
Noah pulled her close. His breath against her ear made her insides do somersaults. “I miss you.” He whispered and kissed her earlobe. “Please come back to our bed. We’ll work this out.”
Sydney’s heart softened at his plea. She wanted to reconnect with her husband. She missed being snuggled under his warmth.
Noah touched Sydney’s still-flat stomach. Her stomach clenched. He moved his hand in circular motions.
Sydney pushed his hands away. “How can you ask me to get rid of our child?” She squeezed her eyes shut to keep tears from falling.
Noah lifted her chin and made her look at him. “I did this. I’m the carrier.” He gritted his teeth. “Have you ever been around a person with Down syndrome?” His chest heaved.
Sydney shook her head.
He pointed to his chest. “I have. I know what it’s like being around people with Down’s,” Noah revealed. “It’s a lot of work. It is a lifetime responsibility.”
Her brows furrowed. “How do you know this? You speak as if you know.”
He opened his mouth to say something before bunching his lips together.
What wasn’t he telling her? Sydney licked her lips. “I’m grown and I still need my parents. I don’t see the big deal. When you become a parent, it never ends… Not from what I’ve seen anyway.” She stepped back. “And, you didn’t answer my question. Why do you speak as if you know people with Down’s personally?”
Noah appeared to struggle over telling her something. He took her hand, led her into the living room and turned on the small lamp on one of the end tables. He studied the incandescent light for a few moments.
“Noah, say something,” Sydney pleaded. “I love our baby already. I see this child as a gift from God and the result of our love for each other.” She touched her chest. Her heart hurt that her husband would consider an abortion. But, she loved him enough to listen.
Noah lowered his head. “I know I seem harsh, but I’m keeping it real. I don’t want to subject you to that life, Sydney. I don’t even know if I can handle it… again.”
Sydney was so angry with him. She’d missed the soft ‘again’ at the end of Noah’s statement. She glared. “You preach that God doesn’t give us anything we can’t bear. I didn’t take you for a hypocrite. You were the one who urged me to forgive Lance and Belinda when they both betrayed me. You urged me to give my mother a second chance when she lied and said my father was dead. You pounded in me that no one is perfect and yet, now, you would want to…” Sydney covered her face in her hands and sobbed. Noah came over with a tissue. She shrugged him off. He rested the box on her lap.
“You would want me to get rid of our child because it isn’t perfect?” Her body shook from her tears. “I don’t get it. I just don’t understand.” She snatched a couple tissues, wiped her face and blew her nose. She was all cried out.
Noah’s shoulders slumped. “Lord, why are you testing me like this? Why won’t you take this choice out of my hands?”
Sydney’s chest heaved. “How can you pray for such a thing? We aren’t teenagers. We have the money. We have people who love and care for us who will help. I could see if we weren’t in a position to care for this child, but…” She stood. “You owe me an explanation.”
“I don’t want the stares and the sympathy. I don’t want the platitudes and God knows best speeches.” He held out his hands. “I want a normal, healthy child.”
Her lips quivered. “I’m sorry I didn’t give you that.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
She bent her head. Her curls covered her face and her shame. “Yes, you did.”
Noah moved swiftly and crushed his lips to hers. Tears streamed down her face and Noah tasted the salty drops. Sydney felt they needed to communicate without words. She returned her husband’s kiss with a fire of her own and allowed him to take her into their bedroom.
Their union was passionate and fierce. Come morning, they would still be at odds. For now, they would find peace. Her underwear ripped under his hands. She rode the waves with him until they found release. It wasn’t until Noah snored beside her that his previous words chilled her being.
She squinted. Wait a minute. Again. What had Noah meant by again?