Rachael stood by and watched as the Gateway began to close after Andy passed through. The black slowly faded at the edges, becoming smaller and smaller, from a pond into a pool into a puddle until there was nothing other than a regular wall. It would remain like this until the day someone else came through to complete the ritual. Though that would not change her circumstance, because for her to leave, that person would have to stay, and she would never doom another for her own sake. So, essentially, she was stuck forever. But she knew that was going to be the outcome the moment she learned of the requirements. Swapping places with Andy was the plan all along. This was okay.
“Such difficult choices we make,” came a voice, that of an old woman.
Rachael turned to see the door to the endless city was still open and there stood an Old Witch wearing layers of rags and wielding a shabby staff. “You’re The Crone that Andy mentioned.”
“An oblivious little brother we have,” The Crone declared at the mention of his name. She raised her hand to show two missing fingers, the ring and pinky. “He saw my hands, but he never noticed yours, so he never made the connection. Probably too excited to see your face.”
Rachael was perplexed for a second, needing to look at her own hand to see the identical injury, then she affirmed with little surprise, “You’re me. That only makes sense. The Raven Man did say this was the end of time. If I chose to stay, then obviously another me from another time would have done the same. This begins my side of the paradox. And I’m guessing you’re at the end of yours. So, what now then?”
“I send you home,” The Crone said honestly, though her face filled with deep sorrow as her arm hung limply at her side as if she had suddenly given up.
Rachael became confused and clearly showed the expression.
“Yes,” The Crone nodded. “I can get you home. The very one you just sent Andy back to.”
“But, then, why are you still here if you can do that?” Rachael searched for an answer.
“Because there was no reason to go back,” The Crone strained to admit.
“No reason?”
“That’s right. No reason. That’s because, when I arrived, there was no crone,” she admitted, head shaking. “All these years, I wondered what the Goddess meant when she said there were two outcomes. To succeed or to fail was what I thought. But this was what she actually meant. One of us would be The Crone and the other would meet The Crone. How I envy you.”
“How’s that possible?” Rachael was still in disbelief. “How could there not be a version of us waiting for you? That’s the loop. Eventually, I’ll be standing right where you are, talking to a me, standing right where I am.”
“No,” The Crone hammered in what she had already said, “you won’t. That’s because I’m going to send you home.”
Rachael did understand and expressed great distress. The implication was cruel. But she needed to know the truth that she already assumed, “But then what happens to the Rachael that comes after me if I’m not here? What happened to you when there was no crone? Andy told me how much you helped him. He said, without you, he never would have survived. Why did you say you had no reason to go home?” she swallowed as she waited in agonizing anticipation.
The question brought The Crone down as she was forced to remember what happened. She began to step closer, dragging with her a feeling of dread. She needed to be face-to-face to say what she had to say, her voice a sad whisper, “My brother died …”
After cutting off her fingers, after figuring out the correct door, after wandering through the city for hours, Rachael came upon an open area. Her eyes were deceived at first by the distorted nature of the world. The haze of ash softened any defining details. Often what was left was whatever the imagination made up. But, as she focused, as she made out what was truly there, the sight made the cold night colder and turned the indigo light into pitch darkness.
There was no mistaking the body for someone or something else. Even though mutilated, Andy was not beyond recognition. The cretins tore, and the cretins twisted, but they took nothing, not a bite, not a piece. His lifeless body was left in a heap in a pool of blood that was more like sludge because of dissolved ash. His pale, pained, sorrowful face stared upward blankly with soulless eyes.
“… I was too late. I failed. Those damn Hunters wasted so much time. If they came just a day later. If they never came at all. But life can be cruel. After my failure, I … I couldn’t go home. Nothing was ever going to be the same back there. My whole world was shattered. I could no longer be in a place that was so wrong, so empty, without any family left. My relationship with the others was already deteriorating before everything that happened during those few days. This would have been, and was, in the end, what finally broke us apart. That’s why I stayed to start this new life.”
Rachael reminded, “You also lost him because there was no crone. And there will be no crone if you send me back like you said you could.”
“You’re very right,” The Crone was aware. “But the question is why didn’t the Rachael before me stay? The ones before us must have gone through this very same dilemma. You’re fighting me so hard to stay. And I will not force you to go if you don’t want to. So, what changed? I think, after you hear what I have to say, you’ll understand.
“I’ve dwelled in this world for the last fifty years. It hasn’t been bad,” the following words a breathy exhale, “all the tragedy aside. We never needed people to exist. The life of a crone really does suit us. That’s why you were so content to accept switching places with your brother. But I also know we crave a life with people. Our friends and family have always been important to us. And you still have both. You deserve to be with them.”
“But I don’t deserve it,” Rachael rejected the thought. “I came here to save Andy, but it was you who did that. But I will eventually do what you did. Then—”
“You deserve to be happy only then?” The Crone interjected. “You’ll wait for fifty years to save the life of a man that is not your brother—”
“He’s our brother—”
“He’s the next Rachael’s brother. Your brother is back in your world waiting for you. Maybe you didn’t save him, but that doesn’t mean you need to save another version of him. If you do, then what? Will you stand where I’m standing and convince the next you that she needs to stay for the one after her? Sure, we can live a perpetual cycle where we’re always alone, saving brothers that are not our own. But you’re abandoning your true brother by doing that. Even if he’s safe now, you’re missing from his life. We both know he’ll blame himself. That was always going to happen. But if swapping places was the only option, then that would be the best outcome. Now, there’s a better outcome.”
“But if I do go, what about the next Rachael?” Rachael sounded pained. “How would she … How can you not hate the Rachael that chose her own happiness over yours? She doomed you for her sake.”
“She didn’t doom me,” The Crone assured. “I was doomed by terrible circumstances. I can blame the Hunters. I can blame myself. I can even blame Andy for doing that stupid ritual. But I can’t blame her. When I sensed the new magic in this world, when I found Andy, when I figured out the truth about the paradox, I never blamed the Rachael before me for going home when she could. If she was there to save my Andy, I would have been eternally grateful. But I also know that if she stayed, she would have given up her entire life for my sake. She would have doomed herself for my sake. Don’t doom yourself for someone else’s sake. And don’t blame yourself when someone else ends up on the worse side of things. It’s not your fault. Like it’s not her fault I’m where I’m at.”
“Okay!” Rachael blurted, her voice cracking. She was covering her face with her hands to hide the feelings she was expressing. “I get it.”
“Take this last piece of advice from an older, wiser version of yourself,” The Crone placed a hand on Rachael’s head, “it’s okay to be happy.”
Rachael sniffed mucus, then took a prolonged breath. When her hands finally fell away, her eyes and face were red, but she looked composed. “Alright. How do I get home?”
“It starts with this,” The Crone pulled out and tossed a key over to Rachael who caught it in her cupped hands. “I’ve had mine ever since I came here. And now you have it, meaning you can go back through the Gateway without any repercussions.”
“But how long until the Gateway is opened again?” Rachael found that to still be an issue.
“Did you forget who we are?” The Crone jested. “We can make our own Gateway. Come. This way.” She turned around and began back toward the door of the endless city.
“You’re right,” Rachael cocked her head to the side as she agreed with confidence, then followed, “that would be pretty easy to do.”
They reached the door and learned, upon opening, that dusk had begun. There was no more bleakness to the Otherworld, instead a violet sky that was a comforting light with a soft heat. They both reentered with a strong determination to move forward.
It was right outside the door, in the middle of the street that was mostly cleared of debris, where The Crone declared, “We’ll work right here. Let’s start by drawing up a magic circle.”
Together they worked on creating the most intricate arcane image of an eight-pointed star within a circle within a circle. The larger of the two circles had cascading swoops that dragged off the line creating the depiction of movement. The second circle was overlapped, one half by a zigzagging line, and the other half by a wavy line, depicting realignment and flow. The eight spaces between the points of the star each had a different symbol representing truth, success, life, love, time, energy, hope, and acceptance. In the center of the star were two misaligned squares. And in the very center was a half-circle with two parallel lines on the outside of the curve which indicated where to go, home.
They stood across from each other on opposite ends of the magic circle after completing it.
“This is ready,” Rachael announced. “But will it be enough?”
“There’s plenty of residual magic in the air that we can use,” The Crone informed. “I also have two objects of power that will ensure things work. First,” she pulled out a red-stained rag, “the blood of a male Witch,” which she threw as close to the center as she could. “And the longevity of a Witch,” she pulled out a knife and cut off her long braid, throwing the hair in as well. “Now, we just need words of power.”
Together they spoke …
“This world I did roam, for so long and so alone,
But now what I seek is home, where I laid stick and stone.
“I’ve walked a beach laid with foam, that gave a greenish tone,
But now what I seek is home, where I left my crown and throne.
“I’ve left the city made of chrome, where everything was so sown,
“For what I seek is home, the place where I have grown.
“I’ve been to where barren is the loam, hiding buried bone,
But now what I seek is home, where I felt love was shown.
“I’ve felt the magic of a tome, filled with knowledge thought unknown,
But now what I seek is home, where my life started and was sewn.
“I’ve lived a life in a catacomb, acting as a quiet crone,
Now let me return to home, where I am not all on my own.”
The magic circle began to glow more and more with each passing verse until shining bright with the purest white light. The two Witches were enveloped so entirely that they could no longer see each other.
The Crone called out, “All you need to do is step in.”
“Why don’t you go?” Rachael made the suggestion.
“That’s a kind offer,” The Crone said with a smirk. “But I can’t take your place. Now go. You have people waiting.”
Rachael swallowed. Her eyes shut fully as she reached her hand forward, her foot stepping forward, and her body beginning to lean. She fell forward, dropping into what felt like warm water, and she sunk and sunk and sunk. Looking discovered herself descending into the unknown. And flipping around saw the heavenly fissure she had passed through. She could see The Crone standing there on the other side, waving goodbye with a content smile. Then everything went black.
Rachael slowly awoke and tried to take a breath. She immediately choked, grabbing her throat as her body thrashed. Her head whipped around in a panic as she could barely make out what was around her in the darkness. She found what she thought must have been up when she saw the smallest distorted circle of light. She urgently began to swim. Her chest was beginning to feel tight. She swam harder as the pain grew worse. Everything seemed to be going dark again as her brain was starved of oxygen, but she kept going. Even after her vision went spotty, she kept going. Even when her chest hurt so much that her lungs demanded a breath, she kept going. And through her perseverance, she broke the surface, inhaling deeply.
As her senses returned, even with blurry vision, she recognized she was floating in water. What she had chased to the surface was the moon still hanging in the early morning sky that had yet to grow vibrant. Looking around noticed more things she recognized, the most obvious being the capitol building on the hillside. That meant she was treading in the middle of the Municipal Lake in the downtown of Darkess. This was home.
She swam to the shore and laid out on the ground to recover some energy that was lost from nearly dying. A smile could not be helped. She had made it back and, honestly, she was so happy. This outcome was the last she ever expected, and though she could not help feeling bad about certain things, she was happy.
Back on her feet, she began walking toward town. Being where she was, she would not have to go far because the Clearpoint complex was little more than a block away. In less than ten minutes, she was standing in front of the entrance. On the switchboard beside the door, she pressed the three-zero-three button that rang like a modulated buzzer. But nobody answered. So, she pressed the button again.
This time the communication channel linked with a slight static and the most depressed sounding man answered with a simple question, “What?”
“It’s Rachael,” she said which brought the widest smile to her face. “Open the door.”
But the buzzer that would indicate being unlocked never went off. Instead, after what must have only been a minute, the door flung open as Andy and Olivia rushed out.
“Holy shit!” Andy screamed as he pulled his sister into a suffocating hug. “Rachael!? But!?”
“I haven’t even been gone an hour,” she declared as she tried pushing him off but could not. “How can you miss me this much?”
“Yeah but!?” He began then calmed himself quickly to say with a far more leveled demeanor and volume, “I thought you weren’t ever coming back.” He held up the key. “The guy said only the person with the key could return. You gave it to me, so I thought—”
“I had to find my own way back,” Rachael said as she held up her identical copy of the key. “But I did find a way back.”
Andy lowered his head with shut eyes, then wiped away a stray tear that tried to form. “Little sis—”
“I’m the older sibling,” she reminded him.
“Thank you for saving me.”
Rachael was taken aback. Then in the near instant after, her entire body scrunched as her relief collapsed in on her. She wept so hard that she sounded hoarse. Her legs trembled so much that she almost dropped to the ground. But Andy caught her and took her into a softer hug this time to let her let it all out. They were like that for a while until she went silent. Then they stayed that way for a while as well. When breathing became normal, that was when they finally let go.
“So,” Rachael sniffled, wiped the corner of her eyes, and looked away while she pulled away as the subject was moved along, “where’s everybody else?”
Andy became pretty serious once the others were brought up. He inhaled to prepare what he would say, starting with “We have a lot to talk about. Well …” he looked at Olivia realizing she would be the best one to talk about this. She was, after all, the one who told him everything.
“More happened while you were away,” Olivia stated. “I’ll fill you in. But let’s get inside first.”