“Em. Wake up. Wake up.”
“Mmm.”
“Em? Why is Craig Brooks asleep on the couch?”
I opened my eyes and sat up quickly. “He’s still here?” I rolled over to look at the clock, 7:30 am.
Chase stood unsurely. “Should I be worried?”
“Oh, God no. He came over drunk as a skunk to warn me to stay away from his sister.”
“Did he hurt you?”
“No, but I may have broken one of his ribs. I’m not to sure on that.”
“What, how?”
I shrugged sheepishly. “With a baseball bat.”
Shock crossed Chase’s features, and then he broke into a grin. “Well done.”
“Mm, yes and no. Babe, you should get some sleep. You’ve had a long night. I’ll give Craig some coffee and send him on his way.”
Chase hesitated. “Are you sure? Do I need to talk to him?”
“No, I’ll be fine. Please, go to sleep.”
Chase yawned and stripped off his shirt. My eyes lingered over him for a minute to long. Chase met my eyes and grinned. I rolled my eyes. “Get some sleep, Mr. I’ll tend to the guy on the couch.”
Chase flopped onto the bed. “I hate night shifts. Holler if you need me.”
“I will.” I closed the bedroom door behind me and made a strong cup of coffee. I gave Craig a gentle shove. “Wake up.”
Craig peeled one eye open and stared at the mug. “Coffee?”
“Yes, for you. Now wake up.”
Craig sat up slowly and groaned. I winced in sympathy. “Is it broken?”
He reached for the mug and took a sip. “No, but if anyone asks what happened I fell on the ice.”
I smiled. “Done.”
Craig took a long sip and leaned back against the couch. “You said someone was sending you letters?”
“Two people, yes.”
“What do they say?”
“Most of them are apologetic in regards to Aaron. The others are Bible verses and small threats mostly.”
Craig’s eye twitched ever so slightly. “That’s messed up.”
“You’re preaching to the choir.”
Craig set down the mug and stood. “I’m sorry about last night. I should get a move on.”
“Are you okay to drive?”
“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks.” Craig’s hand paused on the doorknob. “There’s something I need to know.”
My voice grew hesitant. “What’s that?”
“What’s with the fascination of the bear tattoo?”
I crossed my arms and spoke carefully. “It was a forewarning.”
“By who?”
“The brain has many faucets. They don’t all forget, though it seems like someone may be trying to take advantage of that.”
Craig watched me carefully. He nodded slowly and stepped outside. He kept his back toward me. “Em?”
“Yeah?”
“Take it up with God.”
“We’re going to church.”
Elayna’s jaw dropped. “’Scuse me?”
“You heard me, I need your help with something.”
“Oh?”
My hands worked quickly as I plaited my hair into a braid. I filled Elayna in on Craig’s late night visit and our brief conversation in the morning. “Okay, but how does church fit in on this?”
“The Reverend and I don’t exactly see eye to eye. I need you to distract him while I sneak into his office.”
Elayna held up her hands. “Uhh, I don’t know about this, Em. This feels like we could burst into flames or something.”
I made a face. “How so?”
Elayna looked around and lowered her voice. “Are you accusing the Reverend of something?”
“I don’t know yet. It’s just a hunch.”
Elayna blew out a breath. “May God forgive us.” She sighed heavily. “Fine, let’s get this over with.”
Elayna drove to the church and parked. She hesitated opening her door. “Are you sure about this?”
“Absolutely. Now come on, let’s hurry. He should still be giving a sermon. If we’re lucky we can do this without even having to look at him.”
“Jesus. The things I do for you.”
We walked briskly down the dim hall. Elayna wrinkled her nose. “Why do all churches smell musty?”
I forced a smile. “Most of them are old.”
“I know they are, but why can’t they at least make them more cheery, y’know? It’s supposed to be a place of comfort but I always feel jittery in them.”
The Reverends voice echoed the halls. His voice rose and fell as he delivered his speech with passion. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on edge. We marched down the hall and came to an abrupt stop as we reached his office. “Stay on guard, Elayna. Don’t let anyone come in here if you can help it.”
“Why me?” She squeaked.
“Please,” I begged.
“Fine, but I’m not happy about this. You owe me a bottle of wine. An expensive bottle of wine.”
“Done.”
I placed my hand on the doorknob and turned. Nothing, it was locked. Elayna piped up. ‘It’s a sign. We tried, let’s go.”
“Why does he feel the need to lock it?” I turned to Elayna and studied her. “Oh! Give me your bobby pin.”
“That makes me an accomplice.” Elayna fished through her hair and gave me the pin unwillingly.
“I love you.”
Elayna smiled nervously. “Who wouldn’t?”
I nodded to her briefly, and then turned my attention to the door. I straightened the bobby pin out and fished it in the lock. I wriggled it this way and that until I heard the faint click.
“Got it,” I muttered. “Please keep watch.”
“How do you even know how to do that?”
“Aaron. He also taught me how to hot wire cars.”
Elayna’s jaw dropped and I slid inside. His office was cool, almost damp. His certificates hung on the wall followed by religious portraits. I scanned the bookshelf briefly, but nothing called to me. I walked up to the desk and sat in his chair slowly. The leather was cold; it cut through my clothing and sent goose bumps down my spine. The desk was tidy and orderly, everything had its place. I shuffled through the papers, but found nothing of importance. I tried to open the desk drawers, but they were locked. “Why is everything locked, Reverend?”
Elayna’s voice rose in the hallway. “Oh! Excuse me? Maybe you can help me. I’m looking for the washroom.”
“It’s down the hall and to the left.”
Chills ravaged my body, it was him. Crap, crap, crap. Get him away from the door, Elayna. Please. The door opened slightly and I hid under the desk. I tucked my knees to my chest and held my breath.
“Wait! Um, would you mind walking me to the washroom? I’m terrible with directions.”
“It’s down that hall, to the left.”
“What hall?”
“That one, right there.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t know which one you’re referring too.”
The Reverend sighed loudly. “The one behind you.”
I forced my breathing to remain quiet and prayed that Elayna could lure him away. I kept my eyes glued to the floor and tried to come up with an excuse, in case this whole thing backfired.
Elayana’s voice rang loud with annoyance. “You know, this would be a lot faster if you just showed me.”
The Reverend sighed. “Fine. Follow me.” The door shut behind him. I counted to five and scrambled up. I bolted for the door when a picture pulled at my attention. My eyes widened as I stared at the photo. The Reverend smiled back from within the frame, as he posed by a dead bear. The Reverend smiled proudly, leaning against his rifle. My heart caught in my throat and I stumbled for a brief second. Get out. I slipped out the door and into the hall. I shut the door tightly and half jogged to put distance between the office and myself.
“Whoa there, slow down.”
I skidded to a stop and felt the color drain from my face. The Reverend stood before me and looked surprised. “Emmy, what brings you here?”
“Oh, I uh thought I’d give this whole thing another try. I spoke to my mom the other day and she mentioned she felt comfort here.”
“Ah,” the Reverends face softened. “I’m glad. How does it feel to you?”
“Oh, you know,” my eyes searched wildly for an escape. Out of the corner of my gaze Elayna stood. She looked dumbstricken at the sight of me conversing with him. I read her mouth get away. I nodded quickly but was side-tracked by the book he held to his chest. Scribbled cursive was sprawled across the pages. The blood drained from my face as the loopy letters sank in. “Oh, God.”
“Excuse me?’
I shook my head and tore my eyes away. “Do you write the sermons yourself?” I could see Elayna shake her head and mouth what are you doing? I looked away and met the Reverends eyes.
“Absolutely. Why do you ask?”
“No reason. I can tell there’s a lot of passion when you speak. I was just curious.” I looked at the clock. “I better be going.” I stepped out of his way and hustled toward the exit.
Elayna followed at my heels. “Why were you talking to him?”
I kept my eyes forward and quickened my pace. “Let’s get to the car.”
Elayna matched my pace and we hightailed it to the vehicle. We slid inside and I immediately locked the doors. I let my head fall heavy against the headrest. “Elayna,” I breathed. “It’s him. It’s him.”
Elayna furrowed her brows. “What do you mean?”
“There was a picture of him in his office with a bear carcass. He killed it himself.”
“Okay…that doesn’t mean it’s him, Em.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I saw his writing. It matches the letters we’ve been getting to a T.”
Elayna’s face fell. “Are you sure?”
“Positive. I’d bet my life on it.”
Elayna’s eyes trailed to the church in the distance. She shivered. “That’s creepy. Why, though? What’s the motive?”
“I have no idea. Let’s get out of here.”
The silence hung heavy in the car. Elayna kept her focus out the window and my mind wandered to the letters I had tucked away. Why. The question replayed in my head over and over, and I had no answer. We pulled into Elayna’s driveway and she made no move to get out of the car.
“Em?”
“Yes?”
“I don’t like this. People trust him. It doesn’t make sense.”
“I don’t know what to tell you. I promise you, I will get to the bottom of it.”
Elayna unbuckled her belt and turned to face me. Her face grew serious. “Promise me you won’t do anything by yourself. I don’t feel comfortable with any of this.”
I nodded. “I promise.”
“I will watch you like a hawk. Promise me, really promise me.”
I wrapped my pinky around hers like we did when we were kids. “Pinky swear.”
Elayna cracked the hint of a smile. “Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Have a good night.”
“You too.”
I drove for home as the light faded from the sky. I made a last minute decision to visit the place where Aaron’s body went still. I pulled over to the side of the road, zipped my coat up, and stood outside. My eyes lingered to the spot where everything simply came to an end. In the blink of an eye, a life faded from this earth and our lives were changed. We were left forever broken and forced to move on. I shivered from the cold and looked to the sky. How? How does one move on when someone you love ceases to exist? What were we supposed to do? I missed him. I missed him so much. The tears began to blind my vision as I stumbled forward. People told us over and over that time heals all. It does not. The wound is always there, and it always aches. Sure, it’s not as paralyzing as it used to be, but it doesn’t go away, and it never will. The only difference is we adapt to the emptiness. We learn to cope and march forward without that person beside us. All we have left are the memories.
I stared into the blackness that was now before me. There was nothing left here, nothing but what used to be. Those who passed this stretch of road would never know that my favourite person in the world simply came to a broken end. The world had moved on, nature had healed itself of its blemish. I turned to walk away and fell heavy into the drivers seat. The heat of the car warmed my cool flesh. Aaron’s birthday was in three weeks; he would have been thirty-two. The anniversary of his accident would be four days after his birthday. As the day grew closer the urgency to uncover the meaning behind the letters intensified. If I could figure out answers, perhaps I would allow myself to finally feel a sense of closure.
I sighed heavily. I had forgotten something; there were two writers to the letters I’d been receiving. I was sure the one set stemmed from the Reverend; the other writer I wasn’t one hundred percent sure of, but it was laced with a shared sense of sorrow. I had a slight inclination where the other set came from. I just needed to prove it and hope it would lay Aaron’s warnings to rest.