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Lena walked out of the bathroom at Thad's house and found him standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall watching her. She ducked her head and walked past him, and mumbled, "I need some water."
She'd tried to pee. She couldn't. There was nothing in her bladder.
Her stomach had been upset most of the day, and she'd stopped drinking out of her water bottle after the last break at work in fear she'd throw up if she put anything in her mouth. She walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. The thought of guzzling a large glass of water was about as appealing as going home and sleeping in her too soft bed without Thad.
She filled the glass to within an inch of the brim and shut off the faucet. Thad's boots thunked against the hardwood floor behind her, and she turned, holding the water up. "Cheers."
He rubbed the back of his neck. "Beer makes you pee faster."
"I can't drink alcohol...until I know." She sipped from the glass. "Then, I won't be drinking to pee."
"We need to talk about after," he said.
"What do you mean?"
"After you find out if you're pregnant or not." He stepped forward and planted his hands on the kitchen island. "If you are, what are you going to do?"
She set her glass down and faced him from the other side of the island. "Do?"
"Yeah," he whispered. "All day at work, all I could think about was meeting you here tonight. I've thought over every possibility that could happen, and I'm fucked."
She gawked at him, either misreading or misunderstanding what he was trying to say. "You're unhappy?"
"Jesus Christ, babe." He hung his head before raising his gaze back to her. "I couldn't be happier, but I can't forget how you said you never wanted kids. That scares the shit out of me."
"I'm...I..." She clamped her mouth shut. It would be awful for her to admit, she was trying to forget about what she'd believed her whole life and failing miserably. She'd also be lying if she hadn't thought of her choices and her instinct not to have children.
Thad pushed away from the island and blurted, "I want you. I want the baby."
"We don't know if I'm pregnant," she whispered.
He raised his hands out to the sides, and he raised his voice when he said, "Then, drink the damn water because once that test is done, whether you've got my baby in your belly or not, I'm asking you to marry me. I bought a ring while I was waiting for you to get off work. It's in my pocket. Not because you might be pregnant, but because you love me. Not because you've said you'll never marry. Not because you said you'd never have kids. I want to marry you because I'm going to love you for the rest of your fucking life."
Her jaw dropped open.
He glared and pointed to the glass. "Drink."
She picked up the water and drank. Every single drop.
By the time she finished, Thad still stood on the other side of the room, breathing heavy and looking like if she made one wrong move, he'd lunge.
He'd never given up on her. He'd catered to her decisions. He'd stuck by her when her life was under attack. He'd never wavered on his feelings toward her, even when she was a mess and struggling to live a normal life when she was anything but normal.
"You really love me for who I am, after knowing everything," she whispered. "How is that possible?"
"How is it not?" He stalked over to her, cupped her face, and kissed her lips. "You don't even recognize when someone loves you. If it takes my whole life, I will show you."
She swallowed her fears down. "Thad? I really want a baby. This baby that I didn't even know about, and might not even have inside me, but I want. I never knew how much I wanted this baby until the thought of not being pregnant breaks my heart. If I'm not pregnant—"
He crushed her to his chest. "Then, I'll get you pregnant."
"And, if it doesn't happen?" Putting her fears out into the open.
"We keep loving each other because we're together."
She nodded against his chest. "Thad?"
"What?" He stroked her hair.
"I think I can pee now." She pushed against his stomach, and he refused to let her go. "Thad?"
"I'm happy," he whispered. "Right now. Just you and me. I could live like this for the rest of my life and die happy."
She leaned back and looked up into his face. "Me, too."
He let her go looking like he still had something to say and instead nodded for her to go pee. She walked out of the room, up the stairs, and shut herself in the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet, she picked up the test stick and put it between her legs, closing her eyes.
Thad loved her.
Baby. No baby.
He wanted to marry her.
She wanted to marry him.
Her bladder relaxed, and the tinkle of pee hitting the water in the bowl had her opening her eyes. She peered between her legs and moved the stick into the urine stream.
Finishing in the bathroom, she opened the door and found Thad leaning against the hallway wall.
"I did it." She cupped her elbows in her hands.
"How long does it take?"
"Oh, I forgot to look at the time," she muttered, taking her phone out of her rear pocket. "Um, three minutes."
He reached into his front pocket and kneeled on one knee. "Marry me."
She sighed happily. "I thought you were going to wait until after we find out the results."
He cocked his head. "Doesn't matter when I ask you to marry me because I don't plan on being apart from you ever again. We'll be in the same house, the same bed, and living the same life...whatever that life gives us or takes away, we'll do it together."
She nodded. "I want that, too."
"Then, wear this ring, babe." He picked up her hand and slid on a silver ring with a solitaire diamond onto her finger.
She glanced at the ring and looked at him. Her gaze followed his eyes as he pushed to his feet and stood at full height. "I love you."
"I always knew you could if I gave you enough time." He kissed her.
She clung to him, wanting everything to happen exactly the way Thad planned for them because he always gave her time and patience, except when she needed a good dose of get real. She wanted her days filled with hope, her nights filled with love, and their lives so secure, nobody could rip away all the wonderful things that were happening to her and would be coming to them as a couple from now on.
He slid his hand underneath her hair. "What time is it?"
She looked down at the phone in her hand. "It's time."
"Go check the test."
She inhaled deeply and hugged him. "Let's give it thirty more seconds."
Her body vibrated with all the changes coming at her faster than she could process. She realized it wasn't the first time since meeting Thad that she'd relied on feelings she thought were missing inside of her to lead the way.
She pulled back. "I'll go check in a sec, but I want you to know I'm going to contact Alexander Grimaldi. I want to know if he's my father. I think I need this, so I can put my past behind me and make sense of what I lived through. I want to be more confident about myself and everything I'm experiencing with you, and I think I can do that if I have the reasons why my mom treated me the way she did and never loved me."
"You're not meeting him alone," said Thad.
"I would like you to come with me." She slipped away from him and walked to the bathroom. At the door, she stopped and looked back at him. Thad would make a wonderful father. He had great examples of what a mom and dad do to make their children feel loved by the example his parents set. They'd faced tragedy, and they'd survived.
Whatever the results were of the pregnancy test, Thad could show her how to be a loving and kind parent.
She stepped into the bathroom alone. Her vision centered on the stick on the counter. The panel showing the outcome looked white, and she moved closer until the results became clearer.
The breath left her body, and she picked up the plastic stick. All the emotions she'd battled with over the last few months. The roller coaster of drama and fear making her sick. The questions and illusions surrounding her existence. The wonderful connection with Thad and learning to love and receive love in return. She had fought every step. She had clung to every elation.
During all of it, she drifted toward Thad, looking for a family she didn't know she wanted.
She walked out of the bathroom holding the stick in her hand. She stopped in front of Thad and peered up into his eyes.
He looked nowhere else, but at her.
She moistened her lips, afraid she'd fall apart if she uttered the words.
Thad put his hands on her waist. "Babe?"
She swallowed, and everything inside of her smiled. "I'm pregnant."
"We're going to have a baby?" he asked as if unsure what the word pregnant meant.
She nodded heartily. "We're going to have a baby."
His arms went around her, and he lifted her off the floor. She clung to him laughing as he buried his face in her neck and whispered, "Babe...having a baby."
She closed her eyes and held on. Because soon everything would hit her, and she'd need him to catch her.