Ten Supportive Strategies
The Strengthening Exercise teaches the amygdalae to ignore specific non-routine situations detected by, for example, the eye. But imagination presented to the amygdalae by the mind’s eye is different; the amygdalae have no choice but to release stress hormones when the anxious flier imagines something is threatening. This is where supportive strategies based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) play a role. The following strategies support good Executive Function. They will help you avoid thinking that leads to unnecessary emotional distress, which is the mental equivalent of shooting one’s self in the foot.
Strategy 1—Neutralize Memorized Imagination
It’s a given that an anxious flier will entertain the possibility of crashing whenever a flight is coming up. Initially, of course, such thoughts are recognized as imagination because they are brought to mind intentionally. But if imagination of crashing is repeatedly brought to mind, eventually it becomes memorized. It then comes to mind unintentionally and masquerades as fact. When memorized imagination of crashing shows up in a dream, it seems like an omen.
Imagination made factual by memorization not only sets the stage for psychic equivalence during the flight, it causes extreme anxiety before the flight. It can make a person “just know” that if he or she gets on the plane, it will crash. Like the dog chasing its tail because it doesn’t know it’s its own, anxious fliers suffer because they don’t know the omen is their own creation. If a dog figures out the tail is its own, it ends the chase. But, psychic equivalence is so powerful that fearful fliers who are told the “tale” is their own creation still chase it.
Obviously, being decisive, as discussed in the previous chapter, heads off the memorization problem. But if the damage is done, creating and memorizing versions of the flight that compete with the existing memorized imagination can neutralize the memorized disaster. Use the best and worst possible flight scenarios from the previous chapter. Vividly imagine each of them. Then, make up a third scenario, a flight somewhere in the middle. Vividly imagine every detail of it. A sense of the disaster omen will remain because your repeated imagination of it has become memorized. But by repeatedly imagining the worst flight, the best flight, and the middle flight, they, too, will be memorized. When multiple versions of your upcoming flight have been carved into memory, psychic equivalence breaks apart.
Strategy 2—Shift from “What If” to “What Is”
No one would—or could—voluntarily become a schizophrenic, unable to distinguish between imagination and reality. Yet, when you repeatedly imagine “what if” this and “what if” that, you damage your mental ability to experience reality. Increase your ability to experience reality through the practice of experiencing “what is.” Focus on what is real—not imaginary—right where you are, at this moment in time and no other. Though it’s useful to use one’s imagination to plan ahead, it is also useful to develop your ability to experience “what is” so that, when enough planning has been done, there is a return to the richest moment there is: The one you are living right now.
Strategy 3—Be Your Own Reassuring Expert
If you went to a movie about a doomed airliner with a pilot, while you sat on the edge of your seat scared to death, he or she would probably fall asleep bored to death. The pilot’s imagination about aviation is limited by the reality of years of experiencing flight as it really is. Since your imagination is not limited by experience, you need to give it some limits by becoming a mini-expert on how flying works. By becoming a mini-expert on flying, you can lecture yourself when you begin to imagine things that are far-fetched. You, as a mini-expert, can reassure yourself about what is going on.
Try going back and forth between playing the role of anxious flier, asking “What’s that?” and pretending you are an expert answering the question. If you don’t have an answer, don’t let that stop you. Make something up! The very act of making something up keeps you from locking onto a single reality that might lead to psychic equivalence. Re-read Part Two to become more informed about how flying works.
Strategy 4—Avoid Media Presentations of Flight Disasters
Avoid television programs about flight disasters. If you do view one, do not accept the presentation as fact. Though these shows may appear to present accurate information, they distort facts to enhance entertainment value. They leave out information that the problem has been corrected, for to do so would render the program out of date.
News about flight disasters is rarely accurate. Reporters often present speculation, sometimes by so-called experts, as fact. In particular, avoid imagining what people on a flight must have felt. Speculation about what people felt is based on your own worst fears. It leads you to tie the very worst experience you can imagine to the event. Since the event happened, you easily fall into the trap of believing the worst experience you can imagine also happened. This is highly—and unnecessarily—traumatizing.
After 9/11, I worked with clients who viewed the tragedy on television. I also worked with some clients who were in the World Trade Center when it was attacked. Clients who viewed television and imagined what people in the buildings were experiencing were far more traumatized than clients who were actually in the buildings. Clients in the buildings, rather than engaging in imagination, were focused on finding a way out. All were successfully treated and returned to flying without distress. Those traumatized by imagining what people felt were much more difficult to treat.
Strategy 5—Resolve to Keep Reflective Function Active
When anxiety arises, determined effort is required to construct an accurate mental representation inside the mind of what exists outside the mind.
Pilots are trained to question everything they do. When one pilot makes a statement about the position of a switch, the other pilot must cross-check to make sure the statement is correct. In addition to cross-checks by another pilot, a good pilot constantly questions himself or herself. Do what pilots are trained to do. Do not accept what you have in mind as correct. Question yourself. Cross-check: Talk to your seat mate. Compare your version of reality with that of others.
Strategy 6—Maintain Reflective Function to Avoid Target Fixation
In training, fighter pilots learn to shoot the plane’s guns. They shoot at a 20 foot by 20 foot sheet of canvas suspended vertically from poles in the ground. Approaching the target in a shallow dive, the pilot must fire at the target, then pull up before reaching a “foul line,” marked on the ground 1,600 feet back from the target. There have been instances of “target fixation”: Focusing only on the target, the fighter pilot stopped reflecting on the overall situation and “forgot” about pulling up before reaching the foul line. So it wasn’t only the bullets that hit the target—the plane hit the target, too! The pilot can avoid target fixation only by keeping all the elements of the task actively in mind.
As a passenger, target fixation may mean focusing on being 30,000 feet above the ground with nothing under you (nothing you can see, that is) instead of reflecting that the plane is secure in gelatin-like air. Or target fixation may mean focusing on something that could break and cause disaster, instead of remembering that if one element breaks, standby, backup, and emergency elements take over to guarantee uninterrupted service.
When emotions arise, stress hormones push reflective function aside and move you toward target fixation. You can maintain active awareness of your thoughts and feelings by writing them down, or by keeping a conversation going with another person not only about your thoughts and feelings but also—and this is important—the other person’s thoughts and feelings about the same situation, which may be quite different.
Strategy 7—Anchor Your Imagination to Fact
Every day, for a full week before your flight, track the flight you will be taking on a computer. Several websites are available. Just search the term “airline flight tracking.” As it takes off, know that in one week you will be taking off just as the flight you are tracking is taking off. As it cruises, you will know that in one week you will be cruising at the same spot. When it lands, know that in one week you will be landing where this flight is landing. Seeing your flight operate routinely day in and day out will help you anchor to reality, rather than what you imagine.
Strategy 8—Relaxation Techniques: The 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise and Other Techniques
The 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise is nothing more than a focusing exercise to fully occupy your mind, allowing stress hormones to burn off. It’s a great backup during flight and works for anticipatory anxiety as well. Remember, stress hormones can cause your reflective function to shut down; when that happens, quality control of thinking is lost, and your CEO becomes ineffective. Because the 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise requires intense concentration on non-threatening things, the stress hormones are used up without being replaced, helping your CEO get it together again.
Another technique is “square breathing.” To perform “square breathing,” inhale for a count of four. Hold your breath for a count of four. Exhale for a count of four. Hold the exhale for a count of four. Repeat. You may find that square breathing allows you to resume your activities with a sense of balanced attention and mental poise.
Another technique, one that helps you hold your focus, involves maintaining slight tension in the diaphragm. Using a pencil or pen, carefully draw the straightest line you can on a sheet of paper. Did you hold your breath while drawing it? If you don’t know, try it again and see if you instinctively held your breath when concentrating. Try drawing a straight line first holding your breath, then while breathing normally. Which line is straighter? You may find that slight tension in the diaphragm helps you concentrate. Concentrating on something that is non-threatening can reduce anxiety, so if a slight tension in the diaphragm helps you to concentrate, there are simple techniques to aid you in doing so. One way is to breathe through a drinking straw. Another is to breathe through pursed lips. Experiment to see if these techniques are helpful to produce calming results.
Strategy 9—Have Someone Track Your Flight
Insecure relationships early in life may have led you to feel that when you’re out of sight, you’re out of mind. Ask someone you trust to track your flight on his or her computer. Give them information about an Internet flight-tracking site and your flight itinerary.
Strategy 10—Keep a Journal
Another strategy for maintaining connection is recording a running commentary of your flight experience. In advance, ask a friend if they will read your in-flight journal. Write down what you experience moment by moment during the flight, aware that, very shortly, your friend will be reading and sharing your experience. Focus on accurate expression. When an emotion is put accurately into words, some of its intensity is stripped away. For example, rather than writing, “I’m feeling nervous,” you might write, “My heart is beating too fast and there are beads of perspiration on my upper lip and forehead. I keep taking huge gulps of air.” You will discover that writing down your emotions as they are experienced helps move feelings outside, reducing buildup inside.
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Different people need different strategies. When they actually try out a strategy, anxious fliers are sometimes surprised at what works and what doesn’t work. Try each of them. See which work best for you.
As described in this book, inhibiting the release of stress hormones is a practical and effective way to protect the operation of Executive Function and allow it to better regulate emotion when flying or when facing other challenges.
Properly regulated, arousal serves us well. Arousal brings potentially important issues to mind. Like the skipper of the ocean racing yacht, give the issue your full consideration, Then, having done so, make a commitment to act on the matter or to drop the matter. Upon this commitment, a signal is sent to the amygdalae to stop the release of stress hormone, thereby regulating anxiety.
Remember: You are smarter than your amygdalae. As an airline passenger, when stress hormones arise, it is nothing more than a call for your Executive Function to assess some situation your amygdalae regard as non-routine. For a passenger, a number of things will happen on any flight that the amygdalae regard as non-routine. Though control of the flight is not in your hands, control is in the hands of an experienced expert who maintains continuous Executive Function. Your job is to dismiss each non-routine alert as a false alarm. The pilot’s commitment is to get you to your destination safely. The commitment I am inviting you to make is to experience the flight as it is, adding nothing, and subtracting nothing.