Chapter Seventeen

Lincoln woke up for the second morning in a row with a soft, warm Lilly Walsh wrapped in his arms. He had to say, it was a pretty fantastic way to wake up. The way they’d gone to bed last night had been even better. Spending the entire day with her yesterday—no wedding business, no plans, just casual, hanging-out fun—had been a blast. He couldn’t remember a day he’d so thoroughly enjoyed. It was great.

And now it was over.

They’d left the curtains open last night to watch the snowfall, since no one was around for miles. The soft swirl of the flakes falling from the sky had lulled his already-spent body to sleep. Lilly mentioned it felt like they were traveling through space and the snowflakes were stars. The only stars he saw were the ones in her beautiful green eyes.

Corny? Maybe, but the woman made him feel corny, and needy, and happy, and other emotions he wasn’t sure what to do with at the moment.

But now sunlight poured in through the clear glass frames of the window. The storm had stopped at some point over the night. The roads might still be a bit hazardous, but he assumed the plows had been out by now to clear off the highway. Since most of their driving would be interstate bound, he supposed that meant they had to get a move on. Damn. He didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to move right now. Lying in bed with Lilly in his arms was damn near perfection.

“Is it morning already?” the woman on his mind asked with a yawn.

He tightened his arm around her, squeezing slightly while kissing her temple softly. “Unfortunately, yes. And the snow has stopped.”

She turned to face him, a slight frown on her face. “I guess that means we should pack up and get out of here. The cleaners said they’d be here around noon.”

As much as he knew she was right, a part of him didn’t want to leave this magical little sanctuary they’d created, a place where the outside world, their differences and difficulties, couldn’t intrude. At least he didn’t have to worry about her no dating clients rule anymore. Marie and Kenneth were now a happily married couple and no longer in business with Mile High Happiness, which made him free to pursue dating Lilly. If she wanted that, too. Based on her enthusiastic participation over the past twenty-four hours, he hoped she did.

“It’s only…” He leaned to the nightstand to check his phone. “Eight fifteen. We have a few hours before they arrive.”

Her eyebrows bobbed up and down. “Whatever will we do?”

He had some ideas. Judging from the small, soft, wandering hand currently working its way to his morning wood, she had the same idea he did. Grabbing a condom from the box on the nightstand—which they’d worked through quite thoroughly since the night of the wedding—Lilly moved to straddle him. He let out a fierce groan as she took him in her hand, stroking his hardness in a slow, agonizingly erotic fashion.

“Sweetheart.” He reached for her, but she pushed his hands above his head.

“No. No touching.” She gave him a wicked grin. “My turn to play.”

He loved it when she got all bossy. Ten minutes later, he was ready to cry uncle, but since he wasn’t inside Lilly yet, he did his damnedest to hold off.

“Lilly! I need you.”

Was he begging? Who the hell cared if he was? He’d crawl on his hands and knees through a pile of broken glass just to be with this woman. Okay, maybe that was a bit overdramatic, but if he was going to keep from embarrassing himself and disappointing her, he needed to be inside her.

Now.

The sexy little minx laughed, ripping open the condom and rolling it down his swollen length. She lifted herself, slowly, excruciatingly slowly, lowering herself onto him. Though he’d like to claim he rocked her world, with Lilly on top, the show was hers. And what a show. In less than five minutes, she had them both crying out with the force of their combined orgasms as she collapsed on his chest.

Huh, he didn’t know that was even possible. Lincoln always made sure his lovers were satisfied, but he’d never experienced reaching completion at the same time before.

It felt special, significant.

“Wow.” He breathed out the word on the last bit of air left in his lungs.

She laughed softly. “You can say that again.”

“Wow,” he repeated with a grin.

She lightly smacked him on the shoulder. “Smart-ass.”

A small ache tugged in his chest, something that suspiciously resembled feelings. He pushed it down. He and Lilly were casual. Fun. He didn’t want anything deeper, so he refused to acknowledge the weird sensation in his gut. But not wanting to get too serious with her didn’t mean he didn’t want to know more about the fascinating woman in his arms.

He pulled her in close to his side, absently playing with the dark, silky strands of her hair as he spoke. “Since I’m no longer part of it, wanna tell me about this mysterious rule you have against relationships with members of your wedding party?”

She stiffened slightly. “How do you know it’s my rule?”

“Lilly.” She was deflecting. He didn’t know why it was so important to him to know the reason. He should be happy with the sex and leave it at that. Why was he so adamant about getting to know her better? He wanted fun, not a serious relationship. Right?

His brain was a jumbled mess at the moment. Eh, maybe he should blame it on all the amazing sex. Or maybe he was using that as a cover for something he didn’t want to admit to.

That maybe Lilly was coming to mean more to him than he ever planned.

“Fine, you annoyingly persistent man. I’ll tell you. But it’s not a happy story.”

He didn’t like the way her voice quieted with that, the soft, almost shame-filled tone taking over. Holding her tight, he kissed the top of her head.

“You can tell me.” He meant that, too. She could tell him anything. Despite all their differences, he felt this weird connection to Lilly. As if they were two odd shapes that fit together perfectly, complementing each other in a way no one else could. He shut that thought down right away. That sounded far too much like deep feelings. Something he promised himself he wouldn’t do again.

“Okay, here goes.” She cleared her throat, voice taking on that confident, in-charge tone he heard her use when solving problems. “About five years ago, when our business was pretty new, we were planning this wedding for a very nice couple. They had a large budget and a lot of requests. I was in constant contact with them and members of their party. Over the first few months, I got to know their best man fairly well.”

A wave of jealousy washed over him. Ridiculous. Lilly was a grown woman. Of course she’d had other relationships before him. Hell, he’d been married before. It would be ludicrous to think the woman hadn’t been involved with another man. Didn’t stop the caveman instinct in his gut from wanting to pound the other guy into oblivion. Or at least hack his computer and fill it with viruses.

“You started seeing each other?”

He felt her soft hair brush against his jaw as she nodded, a few strands getting caught in his beard.

“Yes, he was charming and good-looking, and I guess I got swept up in it all a little. But he wanted to keep the relationship a secret.”

Red flag! Secret relationships were never a good thing. He’d seen enough romantic dramas to know that. And yes, he was a man who loved romantic movies, despite how much his fellow software engineers liked to razz him about it. They could all go screw themselves. A good movie was a good movie.

“Like a dope, I agreed. And then…”

Oh shit. He didn’t like the sound of where this story was going. Did the jackass break her heart?

“Did he hurt you?” he asked, trying to mask the whirling rage of emotions inside.

She shook her head. “Not in any physical sense of the word.”

When she didn’t elaborate, he pressed, “What happened?”

A weary sigh left her. “His wife showed up.”

Lincoln tensed, his entire body freezing at her words. His wife. The guy had been married. A cheater. Lincoln knew firsthand how that could rip a person’s world apart. Tear down your entire belief system with one fell swoop. Change who you thought you were and had been as a person.

All the positive and slightly scary feelings of the past twenty-four hours flew away, his body turning to ice as her confession pounded over and over in his head.

Lilly had slept with a married man.

She probably hadn’t known. The Lilly he knew wouldn’t intentionally hurt someone like that. I thought Jessa wouldn’t hurt me, either. The dark cloud of his past experiences created a haze of anger over any logic. How well did he know Lilly, really? He’d known his ex for years, and she still betrayed him, so why did he think he’d know a woman he’d only talked with for a few weeks and slept with a few times any better?

He stood, unable to sit next to her as she continued her story, his mind refusing to separate what happened to him and what Lilly was telling him. It all swirled together in a confusing, jumbled mess.

“He told me he wanted to keep our relationship a secret because he didn’t want to take away from his friend’s special day. Turns out his wife, the bride’s cousin, was serving overseas and got some kind of special pass to come surprise everyone for the week of the wedding. I had no idea he was married. If I had, I never would have looked twice at the scumbag.”

So she hadn’t known he was married. Of course she hadn’t. That information should make him feel better, but somehow, it didn’t. Lilly hadn’t intentionally harmed another’s marriage, so why couldn’t he look at her? Why did the sickness in his gut start spreading out into his entire body, filling him with nothing but anger and betrayal?

“When our clients found out, they sued us. The bride was furious at what I’d done. I was disgusted with myself for my part, even though I had no idea the asshole was married. We almost lost the business.”

Which would explain her rule.

“I’m not a cheater, Lincoln.” The soft but fierce declaration was whispered at his continued silence.

He knew how hard it must have been for her to share such a personal and painful bit of her past. Logically, he even knew she hadn’t been at fault for what happened. But he just couldn’t get over the fact that Lilly had slept with a married man. He felt the betrayal from his wife’s infidelity all over again. This had nothing to do with him, he knew that, but his rational brain wasn’t in charge at the moment.

Right now, all he could do was feel. And all he was feeling was pain.

He was just letting his past color the situation. As much as he’d wish it otherwise, her revelation had shocked him back to that angry, bitter husband who’d discovered the woman he once loved, the woman he’d promised to be faithful and true to, had not honored her vow to do the same. It wasn’t fair to either of them, but here they were.

“Lincoln?”

He turned at the hesitant call of his name to see Lilly sitting in the bed, blanket pulled up to her chin like a shield. He saw the question in her eyes, the need for him to reassure her that everything was okay, that this didn’t change anything.

But it did. He couldn’t help his past, and neither could she.

“I’m sorry, I’m just… I’m going to take a shower.” He turned to head into the bathroom, unable to face the pain and disappointment in her eyes. “You should probably pack your things. We wanna get out of here before the cleaners come, right?”

He strode toward the bathroom with a single-minded purpose, pushing down all the messy, confusing feelings inside and shutting the door behind him. He cranked the water up as hot as it would go, letting the pounding jets redden his skin, wishing they could burn away all this ugly pain inside, all the while his mind filling with the image of the anguish on Lilly’s face as he’d dismissed her.

He’d screwed up. And he didn’t know how to fix it or even if he wanted to.

You jackass, of course you do. Lilly is amazing, and you’re being a dick.

True. But he didn’t know how to get over the spike of agony he’d felt the moment she revealed the man she’d slept with had been married. She didn’t know! He had to remind himself of that. It wasn’t Lilly’s fault. The logical side of him wanted to find the asshole and pummel him. Not only for hurting Lilly and dragging her into the whole sordid thing, but also for hurting his wife by cheating. Both women had been wronged, and the only person to blame was the man who’d lied.

The water started to go cold, and he turned off the tap, now feeling doubly like a dick for taking all the hot water. But when he came out of the bathroom five minutes later, Lilly was fully dressed in a pair of black slacks and a crisp white button-down shirt. Her hair had been twisted into a bun on the top of her head. Glasses covering her eyes but in no way shielding the stony expression in her gaze.

“I’ll only be a minute,” he said, grabbing his bag of clothes and heading back into the bathroom.

Lilly took a giant step backward as he approached. He didn’t miss the significance of the move. The woman didn’t want him within touching distance. He couldn’t say he blamed her. He was being an ass.

“Be quick, please.” She lifted her chin, tossing back her shoulders. “I’m going to make a final check of the house, and I need to lock up after all parties leave the premises.”

All parties, she’d said. Not them. He’d gone back to being a client relation. How the hell could he have screwed this all up so badly? He needed to talk to her, to explain where his knee-jerk reaction had come from. But doing that would open up a wound he wasn’t sure he was ready to reveal to her.

Still, she deserved some kind of explanation.

“Lilly, I—”

“Make sure you don’t leave anything you value behind or it will be thrown out.”

With those parting words, she turned and headed out of the room. Lincoln made his way into the bathroom and quickly dressed. He packed up all his stuff, checking the room once more to make sure they left nothing behind.

The bed was rumpled, sheets askew. He grabbed the comforter from the floor where Lilly left it and tossed it on top of the bed. It hung off the edge at his lackluster throw, then slowly slipped to the floor. The perfect metaphor for how this morning had gone. From sex-strewn sheets to a huge, suffocating blanket slowly sliding, all the pleasant memories crashing to the floor.

He left the room and headed for the front door, where an impatient Lilly waited, foot tapping in her black pumps.

“I hope you have a scraper in your car, because the storm covered it in snow.”

Lilly had driven up with Mo for the wedding, and since the woman left the night of, that meant Lincoln would be driving her home. A fact that had excited him just a few hours ago but now sounded like the worst drive of his life. He knew by the set of her shoulders that she didn’t want to hear any explanation for his behavior this morning. He wasn’t even sure he could give her one right now. Her reveal was too fresh in his mind.

It was going to be a long, silent, tense drive back to the city.

“I do.” He grabbed his keys from his jacket pocket. “It’s in my trunk. Wait here while I take care of it.”

She nodded, eyes focused on the snow outside. He made his way into the chilly February-morning air. The sun shone brightly, a mocking juxtaposition to his current mood. He opened the driver-side door to insert the key and start the car, blasting the heat and defrosters so the vehicle would be warm once he finished scraping.

After tossing his bag in the trunk and grabbing the snow scraper, he went to work brushing the fluffy snow off the car’s windows, roof, and hood. It took a few more minutes for him to scrape the ice that had frozen overnight. Once he finished and the car was ready to hit the road, he replaced the scraper in the trunk, turning to get Lilly. But the woman already stood outside, locking the cabin door. She strode toward him as if she were walking a red carpet instead of trudging through a few feet of snow. He noticed she prudently placed each of her steps in the footfalls he’d made.

“Hop in. I’ve got the heater going. It should be warm.”

She said nothing, moving to the front passenger side and sliding in. She buckled up and placed her bag on her lap, grip tight as she leaned to the side, as far away from the driver’s side as possible.

Yup. This was going to be a really long drive.