Chapter Twenty-One

“Whose brilliant idea was it to walk to lunch?” Lilly complained as her sensible black leather pumps with two-inch heels slipped on yet another patch of icy sidewalk. “My toes are frozen. It can’t be over twenty-eight out here.”

“Hey.” Mo shrugged, sliding an arm through hers to help keep Lilly steady on the slippery walkway. “You’re the one who decided to wear heels today.”

“It’s a workday, Mo. I always wear heels.”

“Ooooh, I miss heels,” Pru lamented, taking Lilly’s other arm. “I haven’t worn heels since my fourth month of pregnancy. Even my wedding shoes were ballet flats. I swear I lost all ability to move in those things since the twins.”

As her friends walked beside her in their sensible—but completely not work appropriate—snow boots, Lilly huddled deeper into her warm down coat, resisting the urge to hide her frozen nose in the thick scarf wound around her neck. If she did, the exhalation of her breath would only fog up her glasses and make the trek back to the office all the more difficult.

Why had she let Mo and Pru talk her into having lunch three blocks away at Cherry’s Café? They should have just ordered something into the office. But her friends had been complaining lately that she’d been working too much. So what? Their busy season was coming up in a few months, and she wanted to be prepared.

Plus, she’d started to make arrangements for her mother and the latest fiancé to fly out to visit venues. She was actually looking forward to it. She knew she wouldn’t really get the quality mother-daughter time she craved, but she’d learned something recently.

You couldn’t change people. You could only change yourself.

Her mother was who she was, and Lilly could either accept and love her for it or carry on longing for a relationship that would never happen. Vanessa Walsh loved her daughter in her own way. It wasn’t the way Lilly wanted, but you didn’t get to control how people loved you or even if they did. You could only control your own emotions and actions. So Lilly was going to love her mother as always, help her with this wedding and most likely another one after, and focus on the relationships in her life that gave her as much love as she gave them.

Like her friends.

She’d thought, for a moment, that Lincoln might be included in that list, but sadly, a full week and a half after their talk at 1up, that didn’t seem to be the case. As much as it hurt to know the man couldn’t get over his past to be with her in the now, she had to thank him. Before Lincoln, she thought relationships were black and white. Passion or compatibility. One or the other. She assumed if you fell head over heels for someone, that fire would burn so bright it would eventually be snuffed out, leaving a trail of devastation in its path. She’d thought she needed to match up with a prospective partner on paper, check off boxes on a list.

Her time with Lincoln taught her you could have both, a wild driving need for each other and the calm comfort of just being together. As much as she wished they could continue exploring all that potential, she knew—just like with her mother—she couldn’t push Lincoln to love her the way she wanted. The way she deserved. He either did or he didn’t, and there was no use pining over him. All she could do was take what lessons from their time together she could and move on.

Any day now.

Someday soon.

Hopefully.

The wind picked up, blowing snow from a nearby parked car into her face. She sputtered, the cold flakes freezing her lips, the frozen bits of moisture hitting her glasses, starting to melt from the warmth radiating off her skin.

Fantastic! She was freezing her butt off, could barely walk on these icy death marches, and now she couldn’t even see.

“Remind me why we went out to lunch again?” she grumbled, clutching her friends’ arms, letting them navigate her toward their destination.

“Because you’ve been working nonstop for the past week and a half and you needed a midday mimosa to loosen you up.”

“I’m fine, thank you very much. And there was hardly enough champagne in that orange juice to call it a mimosa,” she replied to Mo. Or to her general direction. The snow had turned to slush, and now her glasses were making her vision all blurry. She lifted a shoulder, trying to clean a lens on the soft faux fur lining of her coat, but it just made everything worse. Now she was trying to see through blur and cheap imitation animal hairs.

“Let me help,” Pru offered.

Her friend took her glasses, rendering Lilly almost blind. Everything turned into one large, blurred, shapeless object with various colors. Thankfully, Mo still had a good hold on one of her arms. One friend led her down the sidewalk safely while the other cleaned her glasses before popping them back on her face. The world came into sharp focus once again, as did other things.

“Okay, you two are right. I have been a bit…focused lately.”

“It’s okay, sweetie.” Pru slid an arm through Lilly’s once again as they turned the corner, their building in sight. “We understand.”

“I know you do.”

Lilly stopped, forcing her friends to stop as well. She dropped their arms, clutching her hands in front of her as she prepared to do something that would make her extremely uncomfortable but that had to be done.

“Um, I know I’m not the best at expressing my emotions.”

Mo snorted. Pru nudged her with an elbow, and the blond woman mimed zipping her lips.

“It’s okay. I realize I don’t always say or show how much I love you two, but I do. You’ve both been there for me countless times, giving me advice, a shoulder to cry on—”

“Threatening to send laxative brownies to guys who break your heart.”

Her eyes widened as she stared at her roommate. “Mo, please tell me you didn’t send Lincoln your special brownies?”

The woman spread out her hands innocently. “I said threatening, not delivering, and you didn’t deny that he broke your heart, so I might have to—”

“No.” She shook her head. “Please don’t do that. Besides, he didn’t break my heart. I’ve learned that no one can do anything to my heart but me. It’s not broken, but it is a little sad. And it might stay that way for a while, but it will get better, because I have you two.”

“Awww, look at you, Lil.” Mo gave her a small shoulder nudge. “Getting all sappy and stuff.”

“Canon in D” chimed in the air. Lilly searched through her coat pocket for her phone.

“It’s me!” Mo exclaimed, holding up her cell phone.

Lilly glanced at Pru, who also had her phone in her hand, staring at the screen.

“Seriously?” She shook her head at her friends. “I thought we all agreed to change our text notification sound so we wouldn’t be grabbing for our phones at the same time like a bunch of idiots.”

“We did agree,” Mo said as she read her message. “And then none of us changed our tone, assuming the other two would.”

“I can’t figure out how to change anything on this stupid phone,” Lilly complained. “I can send texts and make calls, but otherwise I’m out. Technology hates me.”

She turned to Pru, who raised her hands in the air.

“Don’t look at me. I have two seven-month-olds at home. If it isn’t related to food, poop, or playtime, it’s not getting done.”

When she glanced at Mo, the woman simply shrugged.

“What? I forgot. Anyway, we don’t have time to argue about this right now. We have a very important delivery waiting for us at the office.”

“We do?” She didn’t remember anything scheduled to come in today. Had one of their brides ordered something to be delivered to the office?

“He’s ready?” Pru grunted when Mo elbowed her. “I, uh, mean, it’s ready?”

She glanced at her friends. They were acting very strangely. In fact, they’d been acting weird for the past few days, staring at her with odd smiles on their faces…even today’s lunch seemed out of the ordinary. They almost always ordered in or one of them went to pick something up and bring it back to the office for lunch. They were up to something.

Guess the only way she was going to find out was to go back to the office and see what the mysterious package was.

They made their way down the sidewalk and into the building. At the first blast of the building’s heat, Lilly sighed in relief. She wiggled her poor frozen toes, vowing to keep a pair of snow boots under her desk for any future lunches out.

“Here, let me take your coat.”

Mo grabbed the shoulders of the garment. Lilly barely had time to unzip it before her roommate tugged it off her back.

“Um, thanks.” And why couldn’t that have waited until they got in their actual office?

“Did you want to fix your lipstick before we head inside?” Mo asked.

She glanced at her friend. What an odd question. “Why? Is it smeared from lunch?”

It shouldn’t be. She spent a pretty penny on this supposed ever-wear lipstick that claimed twenty-four-hour coverage. It had never let her down before.

“No. It looks great. You always look great, Lil. But I have a mirror if you want to check—”

“Mo, can it. She’s fine.”

Pru gave Mo a knowing look with the shake of her head. Okay, now they were being super weird. What the hell was going on? And why was Moira insisting Lilly check her appearance? Yes, she prided herself on looking poised and polished for all their clients, but they didn’t have any client meetings this afternoon. Otherwise she wouldn’t have agreed to the ill-advised trip out to lunch.

“You’re more than fine, Lilly.” Mo smiled as they reached the office door. “You’re perfect, and I don’t think your heart is going to be sad for too much longer.”

Tilting her head, she stared in confusion at her roommate. “Thank you?”

“Don’t thank us.” Mo pulled open the office door.

Lilly stepped inside, her jaw dropping wide as a majority of the open space in the room was now taken up by a very large zombie-themed pinball machine. It looked just like… But no, that was impossible. It couldn’t be…

“What the…?” She moved around the machine, fingertips hovering over the clear glass covering the ramps, bumpers, and all the playable parts. She was almost afraid to touch it, like it might disappear if she did. “Why is there a pinball machine in our office?”

“Because your building’s elevator is broken, and I can’t lug that thing up the stairs to your apartment.”

Her heart skipped a beat at the familiar voice. She turned to see Lincoln standing in the corner of the room. How had she missed him when she first came in? Could have something to do with the giant arcade game she was standing by.

“We’ll just head upstairs to drop off these leftovers,” Pru said, backing out the office door.

Mo scrunched up her nose, a confused expression on her face. “What leftovers?”

Pru sighed. “Come on, Mo. They need privacy.”

“Aw, but I want to hear him grovel.”

Lilly chuckled as Pru wrapped an arm around Mo’s waist and the two left, but not before Mo gave her a wink and a thumbs-up. The second they were alone, she turned to Lincoln, who made his way over to her and now stood only inches away.

“Lincoln. This looks exactly like…”

He shrugged, a sheepish smile curling his lips. Lips she’d been desperately missing.

“I know. Kenneth and Marie said groveling goes better with a gift. So I asked Mo for your mother’s number and—”

“You spoke to my mom? Why?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I, um, didn’t know Curt’s last name, and it’s hard to do a search of someone without their last name.”

He called her mother to get Curt’s name. Why? She glanced back at the machine, the reason staring her in the face, taking up a significant portion of her office. Tears gathered in her eyes as she turned back to Lincoln to ask, “Then this really is his? The old pinball machine?”

He nodded. “You were right—the guy is really nice. When I told him about how much the machine meant to you, he was more than happy to send it your way. He lives in Wyoming now, so I had to rent a truck and drive up to get it.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. “And there’s also this.”

Lilly took the piece of paper, her fingers trembling as she glanced down at ten scrawled-out numbers.

“He said you can call him anytime if you want to catch up. Said leaving you was the only thing he regretted about the divorce.” Lincoln grimaced. “He also said he had a large plot of land where no one would find a body if I ever hurt you.”

Lilly laughed as she clutched the paper to her heart. If she ever considered anyone a father figure, it had been Curt. She couldn’t believe Lincoln called her mother and her ex-stepfather just to find the most treasured thing of her childhood.

“You were right, Lilly.”

He took a deep breath, staring at her hand on the glass, lifting his to trace along each of her fingers. One at a time. The touch of his hand, after so many days aching for it, made her body ignite and her heart clench.

“I was living in the past. I don’t have feelings for my ex anymore, but I also never let go of what happened. I held on to the pain, the anger, like a shield. Used it to stop anyone else from getting too close. From being able to hurt me again. But then I met you.”

“Lincoln—”

He lifted her hand, intertwining their fingers. The dark scruff of his beard looked longer. As if he hadn’t trimmed it in a few days. His eyes stared into hers; she could see the distress in them, but she could also see something else. Something she didn’t want to name for fear of being wrong but hoped she was right.

“Our past shapes us. It makes us who we are, but we get to choose how that happens. And I don’t want my past to stop me from being with the woman I love.”

A tear slid down her cheek. Her heart felt so full but wonderfully light in her chest, the heaviness of the past few weeks melting away with Lincoln’s admission. A happy smile curled her lips as she choked back a relieved sob of joy.

“I love you. I have for a while now, but I was too afraid to admit it. Too scared to risk my heart again, and I’m sorry for the way I acted, for hurting you, for even the millisecond of doubt I let creep into my head because of what happened in the past. You’re not my past, Lilly. You’re my now and, I hope, my future. I love you.”

More tears slipping from her eyes, she lifted a hand to wipe them away. “I love you, too.”

“My groveling worked, then?”

She shook her head. “No. It was totally the pinball machine.”

Lincoln laughed, placing a hand on her waist and tugging her into him so he could dip his head and claim her lips. Every inch of her body and soul cried out with joy at the feel of being in his arms again.

“Then I guess there’s just one more question I have to ask you,” Lincoln said when they finally came up for air.

“Oh really? And what’s that?”

Still holding her hand, he went down on one knee. She sucked in a breath. Surely he couldn’t be asking what she thought he was asking? They’d just admitted their feelings for each other, and while she could see a future with Lincoln, she didn’t think now was the time to—

“Lilly Walsh, will you go on a date with me?”

She snorted, slapping her free hand over her mouth as the loud bark of relieved laughter left her. With all her primp and polish, all her rules and propriety, how funny that she fell for a man she hadn’t even had a proper date with. Life really did go its own way. She was just happy she finally learned to go along with it.

“Yes, Lincoln Reid. I will go on a date with you.”

He rose, taking her into his arms once more. “Now, what do you say we break in this machine? Winner chooses date night activities?”

She grinned. “You’re on.”

No matter who won the game, they’d both won each other, and really, that was all that mattered.