Nothing changed, but everything looks different. If this make sense, then the Gateless Gate was crashed, the illusion of separate self is seen through. The nonexistent line is crossed and there is no way back.
Crashing the Gate may be the end of seeking, but it is not the end of exploration. Seeking may not stop immediately; it may still have momentum. The recognition of no self is just the beginning of seeing life and “your self” in a new light. It takes time to clean up all the mess, to settle in and adjust. The journey continues, the story carries on, but thoughts have been seen to be thoughts. The story is no longer solid, true, or real.
“So what?” you might ask. You may still feel like a separate being, but now you have the ultimate tool: looking! So keep on looking. Keep noticing, keep asking questions. Keep finding silence, being, and presence, and rest in them. All you need is already here. Trust that life is unfolding by itself and that there is no other way than this.
You will know when deconstruction is over. Until then there is work to do. By “work,” I mean two things:
There is so much to explore, and life will bring all that wants to be seen into the present moment. So whatever shows up is here to be looked at. Say yes to it all. See everything as an opportunity to deepen. Question everything, and little by little you will notice changes in everyday life: less judgment, more openness; less thinking, more appreciation; less story, more being; less structure, more flow. You will notice that some habitual thoughts no longer arise. The story changes in a way that allows more space for simply being.
There might still be expectations, confusion, and doubt. That’s normal at this stage. You may be wobbling between “I get it” and “I don’t get it.” You may be thinking that this is not enough, that some experiences need to happen, that you should be happy and blissful all the time.
When these thoughts arise, bring the focus to what is here now. There is no other time or space. Just this. And look again: what is here that wants this to be different, and what feelings are here about that? Come back to stillness.
The search may be over, but the journey continues. This is an opening, an invitation to look deeper, to free the mind from conditioned patterns, to become aware of habitual thinking, to unhypnotize yourself from the dream of separation. This is where you start living authentically, spontaneously, and are okay with all that comes. This is where you rediscover the beauty of being.
My only advice at this stage is to hold on to nothing. Don’t hold on to anything.
When beliefs start falling, when certainty is no longer there, it may be scary and painful, but all of this is part of the cleaning-up process. Bring attention to the here and now, notice what is happening, rest in being, and, at the same time, question all beliefs—one by one.
You may look into time, world, body, emptiness, awareness, space, impermanence…the list continues, and wonder what these things are. There are many great teachers who offer different ways to explore. I would like to mention Adyashanti, Greg Goode, Rupert Spira, Byron Katie, and Alan Watts.
I highly recommend connecting with others who have crossed the Gate, in person or online. Sharing your experiences and getting support when needed is priceless. You will always be welcomed by the Liberation Unleashed community, where you will find people to talk to. Trying to explain looking to a friend or family member may be met with rolling eyes and resistance, so being able to connect with people who understand can be very helpful. If you feel lost, don’t worry—it too shall pass.
Here and now, all is always as it should be. How to know that? It’s already here. Isn’t that wonderful?
You may now find that feelings are much more intense, unfiltered, and raw, or that emotions come up and pass quickly. You are free to feel, to experience, and to enjoy the intensity. It’s juicy and makes you feel alive. The gift of freedom is being able to feel free to live life in its fullness, which includes all.