Chapter Thirty-Two

The doctors and nurses ran alongside Justin on a stretcher. They shoved through the operating room doors and shut Calista out. She heaved a breath and wiped the sweat from her brow. All she could do now was pray. Praying hadn’t helped the last time she was in this hospital.

She had left Gage filling out paperwork for Justin. He didn’t know the information the hospital needed, but because he was the sheriff, the person working at admittance allowed him to try. He needed to do something. The helplessness had been in his eyes.

In the waiting room, Gage sat on the edge of the plastic seat, holding his head in his hands, the clipboard forgotten. His fingers raked through his hair. She took the seat beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

He turned to face her. The pain of sixteen years carved lines in his face and darkened his eyes. “This is my fault.”

“No, it isn’t. It’s Jamie’s fault. He committed the crimes, beat up Justin, and threatened to kill me and you and his brother. You did all you could do.”

“That young boy tried to save us all and will probably end up dead because of it. If I had listened to you from the beginning and searched someplace else for the people robbing my town, I would have found Jamie Crow. Shit, even Lincoln Smith told me to look into Jamie as a possibility, but I was hell bent on it being Justin.”

He shoved out of the chair and paced the small area. She went to him and grabbed his arms to keep him from moving. Her heart ached for what he’d been carrying around inside him for so long. “What happened tonight is not the same thing. You couldn’t have saved Ajay no matter what you did. Someone should have told you that. I should’ve told you that, but even as recent as a few days ago, I still blamed you for not knowing. How can you possibly still love me?”

His eyes filled with unexpected tears. She held him tighter.

“He needed me, and I let him down.”

She didn’t have to ask him who he was talking about. “It’s time to forgive yourself.”

“If Justin dies, I won’t be able to do that.” He removed her grip on his arm and went to the window. The dark night and the parking lot with scattered lights offered no explanations.

“Saving Justin isn’t your salvation, Gage.”

“Oh really? Isn’t that exactly what you were doing with him?”

She had been. Justin was the stand-in for Fox and Ava. Until recently, she’d been too afraid to love someone as she’d loved her sister, and then Fox stole her heart and died, taking a piece with him. If she lost Justin too, nothing would be left of her. She might not even be able to go on loving Gage. So much pain surrounded them.

“Why don’t you go home and get some rest? I’ll stay until the surgery is over.” She dropped into the chair and leaned her head against the wall.

“Do you need a doctor to look at you?” He took the seat beside her and laced his fingers through hers.

His touch was warm and safe. No matter what happened, where they ended up, he would be a part of her. “I’m fine. I’m also sorry about what happened at the ranch. I should’ve listened to you too.”

“Don’t do that. You were just opening your heart in the way I love about you. You have that soft side I can’t find in me. You see the best in people when I only see the worst. This isn’t your fault.”

“Thank you for coming to the apartment building to help Justin.”

He shrugged. “You should be the one to go home and rest. I can call Kace to come and get you.”

“If it’s okay with you, I’d like to stay.”

“Why wouldn’t it be okay with me?”

“What’s going to happen to us?”

He sat up and faced her. “No matter what, I will always love you.”

“Sheriff Ryker?” A tall, thin man dressed in blue scrubs with a paper cap on his head stood in the doorway. His arms were crossed over his chest. He averted his gaze. The thin line his lips made said more than he needed to.

Her heart splintered.

Gage stood. “Yes. Is Justin okay?”

“Why don’t you have a seat?”