Crossed Lines
August 11th
Near Borden Springs, Alabama
1
“Please…”
Tracy closed her eyes as Charlie’s lips brushed her ear. Flames scorched her skin.
“Please.”
Charlie paused, not sure what she meant. “Should I stop?”
A deep, painful sigh. “No.”
Charlie went back to the massage. She’d made herself sore again and he’d offered a massage before she hit the showers. Fully clothed, but protected by the camper door, they were both enjoying the contact.
The urge to do more was strong, but the teenager resisted, sticking to his plans. “You smell good.”
Tracy shivered at the tone, at the feel of him touching her. She couldn’t stop the thoughts, but she did keep her hands at her sides. We’re not doing anything wrong, she told herself. We’re not doing…
Charlie’s warm hand slipped to her neck in a telling caress that sent a chill of need down her spine.
“Please.”
Charlie paused again, more sure of her tone this time. “Please stop tempting you?”
“You know you do,” Tracy agreed shakily. “It’s intentional, to determine what works and what doesn’t, right?”
Charlie didn’t deny it. Instead, he moved away from her, to their mutual disappointment.
Tracy regretted denying him, but wouldn’t ask him to continue.
Charlie perched on the bench, staring at her. “Why did you tell Billy no last night, when he came to your tent?”
Tracy flushed. She’d thought Charlie was close, but hadn’t been sure. Which meant he’d heard what she did afterwards, too.
Charlie’s cheeks flushed. “I left after the first moan. I didn’t watch your shadow, either.”
Surprised, Tracy leaned against the camper wall. Would this young man always be able to give her that feeling of respect?
“Yes. My word on it.”
Tracy’s heart melted a bit more. She turned away to keep from caving. He was still waiting on an answer from her and she was tired of trying to hide what she wanted.
“Then don’t. No one will stand in our way.”
“It isn’t about us, anymore,” she refuted quietly. “I’ll lose my place on her team.”
“No, you won’t.”
Tracy didn’t turn around. “I don’t like it when you threaten your mom. She doesn’t need that right now.”
Charlie snorted. “She gave me permission a while ago, Tracy. I’ve waited because of you.”
Tracy spun around to catch his face with the lie on it, and found only the truth. “She didn’t...”
“She knows I’m sure or I wouldn’t have brought it to her.”
Tracy still hesitated. “October isn’t so far away…”
Charlie took the steps that brought them face to face. “If we lose the battle, October will never come for us.”
That hurt. It stunned her with the sense of need and urgent regret that Tracy didn’t have the strength to fight anymore.
“Why me? The truth.”
“Because I love you.” Charlie’s hand went behind her neck to gently pull her closer. “And because I saw us, in the future. We make pretty babies.”
Charlie caught her gasp with his mouth.
2
Bridget waited as Neil and Jeremy came around the edge of the last garden truck. She slid in front of them with a sunny disposition.
“Good morning!”
Both men sent the same to her and continued on their way. They’d both decided she wasn’t worth the risk of losing Samantha.
Bridget quickly slid into Neil’s personal space and planted a soft kiss on his mouth. “Mm...Thank you for last night.”
Neil had frozen. Before he could respond, Bridget pranced away, leaving him in complete confusion. He’d been on duty last night. He would get to sleep by Samantha tonight when the sun went down. What the hell?
Jeremy peered at Neil’s face and knew something wasn’t right. He also knew the Eagles who had witnessed it wouldn’t think so. They would assume Neil now had two women and the problems would come from that. The camp was tolerating Samantha’s choice, but if he and Neil broke out of the routine she’d set up, it would disturb the herd. Because Sam didn’t want them whoring around.
“What do I do now?” Neil asked, in shock. He had no idea how to keep this fire from spreading.
Jeremy spotted a furious woman staring in shock at them from the garden truck. “I don’t know, but it better be good. Here comes Samantha.”
Both men turned to find Sam prowling toward them with an evil expression. Instead of stopping, she strode by them without a word.
The two confused men followed, not sure what was going on.
“If you want her, either of you, stop me now!” Sam growled.
Neither man interfered, understanding that Bridget was about to discover the penalty for crossing this line.
“Hey, Heart Ass!” Samantha shouted, voice a gravelly threat that drew instant attention from the Eagles.
Bridget, who loved the nickname she’d been given, turned with a sweet expression, all set to turn down an offer of a date because she was dating Neil.
Slap!
Samantha followed it with a harsh kick to the stomach before Bridget could recover.
“Fight!”
“Fight!” the camp around them chanted, drawing others.
The two women weren’t fighting. Bridget was trying to stay conscious while Samantha took out her anger on any exposed body part that she could reach.
“Better get in there,” Doug stated. “Bosses won’t like this.”
Neither man reacted. Samantha was delivering a series of punishing, but not deadly hits, and they weren’t about to draw her ire.
“Break it up!”
“Stop it!”
Kenn and Adrian got the two women apart before Bridget could be seriously hurt, but Samantha wasn’t finished.
She lunged from Kenn’s weak hold and slammed her head into Bridget’s chin.
“Stay away from them!”
Bridget slowly sank to the ground without answering. It was clear that she couldn’t.
Samantha turned to Neil with chips of crimson ice. “The next time she touches you against your will, I’ll kill her.”
Neil grinned, flooded with heat. “Okay by me. I only want you.”
“Same here.” Jeremy sighed. “But we’re trading off tonight and tomorrow. I can’t handle her when she gets like this.”
“Sweet!” Neil agreed eagerly. He had no trouble with being a little rough to please her. He knew the differences now in pain for training, pain for pleasure, and pain just to cause pain. Samantha’s needs were helping him learn those lines clearly.
Jeremy left Neil to deal with the chaos and went to the mess. He hadn’t slept well with all the tossing and turning that Samantha now did. Besides the stunning moments when she turned to him in the night, Jeremy loved being able to look over and check on her, but he hadn’t honestly adjusted to this setup. He didn’t hate Neil, only the circumstances in which they’d been brought together. All of them deserved happiness and the time to find it, but that wasn’t going happen unless Safe Haven drove the government back. The time to fight or die was almost here and there was nowhere else he wanted to be than with Samantha when it all happened.
It also didn’t hurt that Neil was able to carry half of the load. Samantha was high maintenance. Jeremy hadn’t realized it before, though he should have. She and Neil were a better match and there were times when he felt like an outsider in their relationship. Samantha often told him he was the reason she still had hope for the future, but Jeremy didn’t know if he believed that or not. For now, it was enough to stay close to her, but if they won, he knew he would have to decide if he wanted to spend the rest of his life this way. If that was only a few more weeks or months, he didn’t want to change anything. If it was decades, he wanted Samantha to himself.
3
“Camper crew is pulling in, Boss.”
“Copy.”
Angela went that way tiredly. She was keeping them next to natural springs now, so their water tankers were staying full. But the camp had begun to grumble about still being in tents. She’d sent out a team to bring in a load of campers, thinking they could use the materials if they were pinned down. The RVs wouldn’t stop much in the way of bullets, but they could be reinforced. She’d worried the whole time the crew had been gone and it was good to find her men coming from the shiny new motorhomes with jokes instead of wounds. She wasn’t sure, but she thought maybe the team had been protected by one of the camps around them.
The men Marc had sent were hard fighters who preferred to keep their own rules, but stayed nearby to deflect anyone coming in with bad intentions. Whatever else Marc had done while away, he’d gathered a loyal crew. They were getting daily reports of the fighting, of the wounds Marc was inflicting on their enemy, but they were also hearing of their own fallen comrades, like Paul. The mood of the camp was somber. As the fighting at the Little Rock base intensified, the mood only grew worse.
Angela didn’t stay to talk to the camper team. She’d only wanted to be see that they were okay. She moved toward the mess. The lunch meal was being served and everyone was enjoying the last harvest from the garden. Angela personally thought the fresh food was one of the reasons the camp had accepted Samantha’s secrets so easily. It was a common sight now to find the storm tracker entertaining the children with dust whirls in her downtime. They didn’t know she was also practicing nightly with Neil and Jeremy. Sam would be a powerful force when the fight made it to their gates.
Angela’s mind went to the last transmission they’d gotten from the base. There had been updates and the sounds of distant dying, but no message from Marc.
Heated tingles went over her skin and Angela searched around. That feeling was restless, lonely, and near the edge of doing something stupid. Adrian was staring at her.
Angela sighed, moving that way. Time to play her role again.
Instead of going to sit with her group of Eagles like usual, she took her tray to the rear table, causing the focus of the camp to shift.
“Mind if I join you?”
Adrian smiled and everyone around them noticed. “Always welcome.”
Doug and Neil added their agreement, and she glanced at them.
“Camp could use a tension release, I think. Maybe you two should have a fight.”
Doug approved right away. “We were just trying to figure something out for entertainment.”
“I’m in if you are. Who’s gonna win?”
Neil got excited without knowing why he was reacting so quickly to the suggestion. Maybe it was the way Sam had claimed him so completely.
Doug flexed his muscles menacingly and gave the cop a nasty glare. “You take it. About time she knows you’re the more dangerous of the two.”
Neil would have denied and Angela listened curiously, catching flashes of acceptance and reluctance to restart the rivalry with Jeremy.
“Run into me when I come through with my coffee.”
Neil raised a brow that made the giant shrug as he stood up. “Wouldn’t get mad over something cold, would I?”
Adrian waited until both men were out of earshot and then turned to her. “They’re gone. What’s up?”
“Can’t a girl sit at your table without something being wrong?” she joked awkwardly.
His tones were full of insight. “Lonely?”
Her eyes went to the left. “No.”
He leaned forward, catching a hint of vanilla. “Liar.”
She stiffened, but relaxed as quickly. “Yes, I am.”
“You clumsy fool!”
Doug’s words boomed through the mess, drawing instant attention from everyone.
“Sorry, man, but you were in the way.”
Neil sounded anything but sorry.
“Fuck! Look at me vest!”
Doug’s growled response was genuine to Angela’s ears.
The two men suddenly began swinging and people ran toward them. When security looked their way, Adrian shook his head. The Eagles stayed at their posts.
Angela took the moment to study the camp for trouble.
Adrian studied her.
The fight was ugly and drew a few dozen people from around the mess, creating a circle of nearly sixty, Samantha among them. Neil was taking a lot of hits, but he was also delivering some nasty punches and drawing blood.
Doug was already out of breath, Neil’s graceful hits wearing him out.
Samantha worried needlessly over Neil as he beat on the giant in the now stained and bloody vest.
“We done?” Doug asked.
Neil grunted, full of energy and fire that he hadn’t been aware of needing a release for.
Kyle motioned Kenn forward.
“I challenge you!” Neil spat at the Marine.
Kenn advanced warily. He’d also noticed that Neil was hot. He planned to stay out of reach until the trooper settled down.
Neil jumped, high kick landing against Kenn’s shoulder. From there, it got mean. He swung repeatedly, Kenn able to do little more than keep his feet. He was accepted again, but not enough to fight back like he wanted to, and the Marine accepted the beating–took one for the team. It was something he couldn’t do before.
Kyle jerked Neil away as Kenn went down again, and the cop swung on him, out of control.
Kyle staggered, shaking his head to clear the stars from Neil’s bloody fist. “I’m on Point, asshat! Pick someone else!”
Before Neil could sweep the area, Seth came into the circle. “How about a fair fight?”
Seth didn’t wait, just started swinging.
“Why did you choose fighting?” Adrian asked, sure of the answer, but wanting an excuse to maintain eye contact.
Angela felt more of his pull than she wanted to. She was trying to resist, but also still craving it like everyone else here.
“Besides reminding the camp how dangerous you men are, I needed to break the tension. Physical contact used to cover that, but with your men, this is the next best thing.”
He contemplated her red face. “I assume that also goes for me?”
Angela’s voice carried a slight edge as she said, “I know you’re not doing without. I thought you’d want the rush since you’ll be cleared for full duty soon. Been a while, right? You wouldn’t want to get rusty.”
He suddenly, stood up, flooded with rage. Having her setting things up to ensure his happiness was almost too much. “Excuse me.”
Angela followed him to the people-ring that now included the new doctor. He had been brought to the patients who couldn’t come to him. Seth was nearly unconscious. The two men kneeling next to him didn’t look better.
“I challenge you!”
Neil spun to meet his next target, but froze when he saw it was Adrian. The fire dimmed a bit, dampened by respect. “Not you.”
Adrian handed his gun belts to Angela. “Why not? You need someone to knock you down. That’s still a part of my job.”
Neil’s face darkened at the words, anger flaring.
Adrian felt the thrill of the fight rising. Neil was a worthy opponent. She’d been right.
Angela took a place near Samantha as the two men circled each other. Instead of studying Adrian like the witch wanted to, Angela casually touched Samantha’s elbow and witnessed it through her mind.
Sam tensed at the first hit, already sure who would win despite Neil’s flare of temper. Adrian was rock hard again. The trooper’s hits glanced off flesh that didn’t respond.
As Neil quickly went to the ground, she flinched at the spray of blood.
Neil landed a hit to Adrian’s jaw that rocked him on his heels, but when Adrian fired back, the trooper hit the dirt.
“Had enough?”
Neil roared in anger, driving into Adrian’s gut. They went down in a tangle of swinging limbs. They rolled in the dirt causing people to jump aside in order to avoid being knocked down.
They leapt to their feet at the same time, Neil’s stance a bit rougher.
“You’re getting tired.”
Neil didn’t respond, so Adrian provoked him. “Again, then.”
Neil rushed him and Adrian used the man’s momentum to flip the trooper over his shoulder.
Neil grunted in pain at the hard landing, not moving.
Samantha was at his side before the doctor. “You okay?”
Neil tried to clear the chirping and managed a rueful grimace. “I’m not mad at her anymore.”
“Well, I am. You just added to it.” Sam snorted as she helped him to his feet. “Neil’s due on a run now.”
Adrian had been looking at Angela. He recognized her pride at the sight of Neil and Samantha leaving together.
“I’m actually smirking over Bridget’s thoughts,” Angela stated. “She was sure Neil would get in trouble for the kiss. Instead, she did.”
“That’s what this was about.”
Angela sat down instead of healing his minor cuts and scrapes like she wanted to. “It had many benefits.”
Her voice sounded too much like his when one of the Eagles asked how he’d known to do something, and she flushed. He’d already returned so much of the old Angela. What could she do for him?
“You’re already doing it.”
He indicated the quiet, but intense conversation Samantha and Neil were having as they got out of sight. “They’re a good match.”
“So is the other one she chose,” Angela observed.
“Both men still want her to themselves.”
“Yes. It may happen, but the odds are going down.”
“She’s been lonely, too.”
Angela flushed as he brought the subject back to the previous pause.
“I can schedule you private lessons, like we were doing before. I’m clearly recovered enough.”
Her head snapped up at the word. “Private?”
“However you’re comfortable,” Adrian answered calmly.
Angela tried to resist his pull and failed. “Okay.”
He was surprised, it showed in his face, and Angela stood up before she could take it back.
“I’ll be on rounds.”
Adrian watched her walk away, thinking Marc wouldn’t have her to himself long. She had room in her heart for others.
Angela turned, catching the thought, but before she could yell, time began to slide and she was stuck in a slow motion disaster.
The moldy telephone pole teetered heavily, power lines snapping up, knocking over boxes and tables, and then the cars that were parked over the lines.
Angela shoved herself toward Adrian, feeling like her body weighed tons. She tried to shout, but wasn’t sure if she actually did.
Riiiipppp!
Twisting metal groaned…and the final wire holding the pole broke with a loud snap.
Angela dove into Adrian, lifting them slightly into the air with the force of her panic.
The lethal power cable missed them with only inches to spare as it snapped by, sharp and hungry. It severed the canopy and then the top of tree that it was secured to.
The pole and the tree crashed through the side of the mess where Adrian had been sitting, splintering the picnic table.
They landed hard, with her on his chest.
Adrian gasped for air.
“Easy, be still.” Her voice calmed him. He felt the heat of her hand over his chest, filling. The pain eased, faded…
Angela helped him up as they were surrounded by panicking, yelling camp members and grateful Eagles who hadn’t been close enough to help. She let herself be swallowed by the crowd, trembling. If she had ignored his pain and sat at her usual table, none of this would have happened, except for the pole. He’d be dead now.
Adrian let the doctor and people check him out, but shrugged off those who wanted to take him to the medical tent. “I’m okay. Thanks to Angie.”
His eyes found hers in the rear of the concerned crowd for a brief moment of intense gratitude. Then she was gone and he was forced to turn his attention to calming the herd. “It’s okay. Pole finally gave, that’s all. I’m fine. Let’s get this cleaned up.”
4
Conner ducked into the pharmacy tent as the afternoon sun began to sink, confident that he wouldn’t be missed. His next class wasn’t for an hour and he needed some time with Tonya.
“What do you want?”
Conner sank down into Kenn’s chair to stare up at her arrogantly. “Your help.”
It was like looking and listening to Adrian, except that man would never say such to her.
“With what?” Tonya asked when she could talk normally. Her one moment with Adrian was something she’d never forget.
“Something bad, of course.”
Tonya stopped dusting the shelves, wondering if this was a test. “What do you want me to do?”
“Lie. You can do that, right?”
Tonya grimaced absently. “I’m female. I can lie to anyone. What is it you want me to say?”
Conner grinned wider. “Tell Adrian that Angela needs him to stay closer, that being without a man is hurting her.”
Tonya stared in surprise. “Why would I do that?”
Conner’s eyes lit up with the red glow that the descendants were becoming known for in camp when they were upset or hungry.
“I’ll be the friend you need.”
“I have friends,” Tonya answered, not getting irate like she might have done in the past. “I won’t mess that up.”
“Because of the baby.”
Tonya tensed. “Why hasn’t anyone told him what I’m hiding?”
“You’ve been forgiven, I assume,” Conner guessed. “Or maybe they know that if you fall, you take Kenn with you.”
“Maybe,” she mused, not offended. Her history here was common knowledge. “So tell me why I should risk all that.”
“You won’t be,” Kenn stated, coming through the flap. He gave Conner a polite nod. “I’ll work on her. Go away before he finds out you were here.”
Conner quickly ducked out of the tent.
“No.” Tonya rounded on Kenn angrily. “Whatever you’ve got going on with that boy, stop it now! You’ll screw us up.”
Kenn calmly took her by the arm and led her over to the chairs. “These people want the old Adrian back. There’s only one way it will happen.”
Kenn helped her get comfortable, ignoring her worried looks. He’d known for a while now about the baby, but hadn’t said anything.
“When he came in here, Conner was hoping you’d run him off. He doesn’t want to hurt the dream, but he needs his father. He thinks Angela is the key to that. He plans to throw them together every chance he gets.”
“Why would you help him?” Tonya demanded, keeping her voice down. “You’ll lose everything you’ve worked for.”
Kenn’s tone was bitter. “No, I won’t. She wants him, too. I saw it with Marc and I’m sure. She’s hiding it.”
“You’ve found a way to finally get rid of him!”
Kenn shrugged, not feeling that old rage as much anymore. “I’ll always hate Marc, but he doesn’t matter. She and Adrian together, leading this camp, is what the sheep want and it is killing Adrian on both duty and personal levels. Conner and I have chosen to end both of those pains.”
Tonya stifled a moan as his big hands settled onto her calves and began rubbing. “She can’t be forced into anything.”
Kenn knew that wasn’t true, but didn’t say so.
“It’s not force. She’ll do the same thing that Samantha is, if Adrian gets enough time alone with her.”
“Crazy,” Tonya snorted. “I have no idea how Sam is managing to keep hers from killing each other.”
“She’ll be Angela’s XO when it’s all settled.”
Kenn had explained to Tonya that all the teams went through shake-ups as they reached (or failed) levels, and that the first chain of order on a team was rarely the one that stuck. The redhead wasn’t jealous of it. XO was a hard slot to fill.
“How am I supposed to do this without her knowing?”
Kenn pressed a kiss to Tonya’s shoulder, pushing. “Don’t even think about it. Just walk by him and throw one of your old, snotty comments. That’s it.”
Tonya groaned. “Yeah, the lies starting up again. She doesn’t need him or anyone else.”
“Not true,” Kenn refuted, hand now sliding over her wrist to rest on her stomach. “She’s keeping secrets, too. In a while, she won’t be able to hide them, either.”
Tonya forced away the fear, trying to keep up and absorb that he knew, but didn’t appear angry that she hadn’t told him. “You don’t think Marc is coming back.”
“No, I don’t,” Kenn admitted. “If he survives the battle at the base, he’ll keep the new woman he has and leave Angela in peace. He knows the truth, too.”
“And you’re sure there won’t be any blow back?”
Kenn sighed, unable to lie to her. “There will be, if Marc returns, but I’ll take it. Adrian won’t even remember your part, it’s so small.”
Wanting to keep the peace, Tonya agreed uneasily, “When should I do it?”
5
As Conner left the pharmacy tent, he felt the danger and quickly matched it to the lone female moving through the perimeter shadows. Where was Jennifer going while sending off vibes like that?
Conner tailed her from a good distance, while trying to keep his thoughts on classes and preparations that had become a part of daily life in Safe Haven. He watched Jennifer climb into the one of the now empty garden trucks and carefully edged closer. Before he could peer around a side, she came right back out and caught him.
Jennifer knew what was going on. “If you tell on me before I get to do it, we’re enemies forever.”
Conner flinched mentally at the hostile tone, trying to read her thoughts, her plans.
“Are you going to kill her?”
“No.” Jennifer closed the truck door. “I just want be sure she spends the rest of her life terrified of me and sorry for what she did.”
Conner felt the same way, but he also knew the peace in camp was fragile. “Angela won’t like it.”
Jennifer didn’t think that was true, but she wasn’t about to ask for permission. “I need this.”
“You’d risk our whole camp just for payback?”
Jennifer glanced around, scanning thoughts and the general mood. “They know what she did. Lilly’s bragged about it enough.”
“But if you use your gifts against the camp…”
Jennifer moved by him calmly. “She isn’t one of the herd. She’s an enemy in sheep’s clothing and I want her known for it. I’m healed enough to deliver justice for my dead son.”
Conner couldn’t argue that point, but he was still torn. His heart only accepted violence if there was no other way.
“If you have an idea that might satisfy me, I’ll listen to you.”
Conner knew he was one of the few people here that Jennifer actually respected, liked, and he made his choice based on that. “I’m gonna talk to someone that I trust and ask what they think about having Lilly and Grace banished for hurting you.”
Jennifer didn’t care about later, only this moment that she’d been waiting so patiently for. “Remember what I said, Conner. I don’t want you as an enemy and you don’t want me on that side of your life.”
Conner quickly went to find Adrian.
Aware that she would only have a few minutes, Jennifer took off running, no longer worrying about being seen or followed. I will have this!
6
Lilly and Grace had settled into camp life. They were taking classes, pulling their weight, and even had their hopes set on a few of the Eagles despite not being mate material because they couldn’t have children. These two females knew that not all of the males here wanted that type of future, including some of the main guys, and they hoped to take advantage of it.
The goals of furthering the greater good weren’t a part of their mindset yet, but enough time in Safe Haven was likely to change anyone who was riding the fence on good and evil. The camp members brought people in and helped them get used to the new ways. At some point, the need to gain power faded. Except with these two.
It hadn’t escaped the camp’s attention that they’d hurt Jennifer. It made the two former slaves outcasts in certain groups, though the women had failed to notice it. The camp wasn’t punishment-oriented, but they were waiting for Jennifer’s reaction. It had been a month since her baby had been forced out early and then killed in the explosion. After so long, a lot of the camp assumed Jennifer was keeping the peace and respected her for it, liked Lilly and Grace even less. When these people saw Jennifer running by the mess with a determined glaze of hatred over her face, many of them sensed what was coming and followed.
Jennifer was standing nearby when Lilly and Grace came from the training tent, both former slaves covered in sweat and confidence. She would destroy that.
“Hey, baby-killer!”
Lilly and Grace spun around automatically, appearing to answer the new name that would become a camp favorite from this moment on.
Lilly understood first and immediately stepped forward. “You wanna fight, bitch? Let’s go!”
“I want you dead,” Jennifer sneered coldly. “Your blood all over me will be a good start.”
Lilly hesitated.
Jennifer swung as hard as she could.
The small pot cracked against Lilly’s shoulder, sending her to the ground amid a cloud of ash. Jennifer didn’t know if the small pile she’d taken from the destroyed camper was indeed her son, but it hadn’t mattered when she’d collected it, nor any of the times she had secretly cried over it. She had to have something.
The charred bits sprayed over both of the former slaves, clinging to their sweaty skin like tight clothing. They went from eager and arrogant, to looking like they’d just come from a heart-breaking funeral, with one blow.
Jennifer’s voice was like the dead. “You caused it. Now you carry it.”
Jennifer left them and the crowd with tears of agony streamed down her face.
Those who witnessed the tears instantly forgave her. Those who didn’t see her crying were shocked by the method of delivery, but couldn’t deny that it had also been appropriate.
The dazed women were taken to the doctor and released a bit later, but no one called for Jennifer to be punished. They understood she already had been.
7
“She’s not done.”
Adrian had figured that out, and was prepared for what Conner showed him.
“That’s her first plan. If it won’t work, she will kill them and get banished.”
“You don’t know Kyle very well,” Adrian explained, not going to check on the ruckus like he still felt the urge to do. “He’d never let her be hurt.”
“And what about those two women? She’ll drive them out of here.”
“Probably for the best. She’s the better deal of the three.”
“That’s not right!”
Adrian waved a hand at the other chair. “Let me explain a couple things about justice and fixing the horrors in someone’s heart.”
Eager for the lesson, Conner took the seat and waited. He wasn’t spending a lot of time with his dad. There was a good reason for that, but he wanted these moments as much as he wanted his mother when the wind blew at night.
“When someone does you a wrong, it festers,” Adrian explained. “When someone betrays you, it’s an ugly knot of infection that grows, but when someone kills something that you love, darkness takes over the soul.”
Adrian felt Angela scan the tent to verify his safety and swallowed the need to respond. He stayed focused on his son. “Humans are meant to live in the light, to be filled with it. We find it very hard to fight the slaps and stabs that come from life.”
Adrian gave him a pointed look. “Like how you’re still feeling, over failing the kids.”
Conner’s guilt washed over him in waves as Adrian leaned forward. He hadn’t been sure he would get the chance to help his son, though he’d aided so many others here. “That never goes away. You learn to live with it.”
“How?” Conner questioned brokenly. “How?”
Adrian placed a hand on his son’s wrist in comfort. “You atone. The camp will tell you it wasn’t your fault, to let it go, but they don’t understand how we’re made. Leaders take these duties into ourselves and each failure destroys a bit of our light. The only thing that has ever worked for me, has been to spread the good and help those who either can’t, or won’t, help themselves.”
Adrian leaned back. “As your father, I agree with the herd. You did nothing wrong. You should be proud.” Adrian held up a hand to stop the coming protest. “I know. They don’t understand. As the leader of Safe Haven, I carried that weight in my heart every day. You need to ease the pain and push away the darkness. Helping others is the only thing that honestly heals our wounds.”
“I’ve tried, a little.”
“With Jennifer.”
“Yes, but it didn’t matter.”
“Not true. You bought her more time, and that is worth more than anything else you could have done for her. Without those extra days, she might have lost both babies.”
Conner felt the light trying to push in and was able to let it this time. He hadn’t thought of it that way. He’d only felt the errors.
“There are a lot of people here who need the kind of help you can give. Most of them are kids. The war left more orphans than this country has ever had.”
Conner considered it. He definitely liked kids better than adults, but he wasn’t sure about coming to care for them again, only to lose them when the soldiers arrived.
“When that happens, you’ll care for them, get them out,” Adrian instructed. “She’ll put that job straight into your hands if you want it. She already knows you’re capable and that you’re smart. She needs to know that you want it.”
“I do, but I don’t,” Conner confessed. “It’s why I’m hanging back. I can’t go through it again if they die.”
“You’ve been trying to recover, but on your own, that’s almost impossible.”
Conner dropped his head. “I don’t have anyone I’m close to here.”
“Because you’re afraid of losing them, afraid of the pain that comes with failing them, the guilt.”
“I can’t carry anymore yet. I’m tired.”
“You need someone you can relate to and feel a personal bond with. Just one to start, and go from there.”
Conner sighed. “I can’t do that the way I need to. I like my friendship with Charlie, but he has Tracy. Jennifer’s cool, but she has Kyle. When I spend time around them, I don’t feel connected.”
“What about more than friendship? Is there someone who…”
Adrian didn’t have to finish the question. He stared in surprised concern at the image in Conner’s mind.
“That’s not what I expected.”
“Yeah,” Conner grunted bitterly. “That makes two of us.”
Adrian spent a moment considering what he’d learned, then gave the nervous boy a bit of hope. “By the time this is all over, that might be possible.”
“And until then, help people?”
“Yes. Use the time to build a foundation here, and if she becomes ready, you will be, too.”