WITH MY MOTHER WERE MY little sister Nyakuar, the twins Both and Nyandit, and my older brothers Chuol and Duany, who, along with some of their SPLA friends like Stephen Malual, had a mini army of guns among them to keep the family secure. My uncles, aunties, and cousins were all under their guard. Chuol had been trained as a tank driver and had three guns: an AK-47 and an M16, plus a PT92 pistol that he kept strapped around his waist at all times.

I was overjoyed to be reunited with the twins, Nyandit especially. We all packed our few belongings the following day to head back to Makoat. I asked if I could be the one to carry the twins on our journey.

Unfortunately, once we arrived, we found out there was no food there. Due to the relentless hunger, two of my friends, Thon and Gony, decided to get creative one night. We had been starving the whole day, and Gony, who was older than Thon and me, had spotted a family with goats and came up with the idea of stealing one. At first I didn’t agree, but they weren’t relenting. We didn’t mention this to Chuol or Duany. So, at nightfall, Gony and Thon crept out of the sleeping area and pulled me outside to embark on our mission, carrying a blunt knife with us.

We got to the area where the goats were sleeping and chose the one we wanted to slaughter. The moment we nabbed it, the rest scattered in different directions, screaming for their lives. I grabbed the goat’s back legs as Gony and Thon grabbed its front. Gony, the strongest among us, grabbed its mouth and nose and started cutting its throat with the blunt knife. The goat was kicking and shoving, trying to make all kinds of noise, and in no time its owner was wide-awake. And wielding a gun.

He burst out into the open, and the moment I saw him, I let go of the goat and sprinted into the night, leaving Thon and Gony behind. I hid in the bushes just far enough away to be able to witness what was about to happen, in case the man harmed Thon and Gony. I heard him shouting in Nuer.

GOAT OWNER: If you try to run, I will shoot. You have killed my goat. I will kill you today.

Thon and Gony were frozen with fear.

GOAT OWNER: Where are you from?

THON: We are Nuer. We just came from Itang. We are here with our families.

GOAT OWNER: Where are your families? Where are your possessions? How many were you?

THON: We were three.

When I heard this, I started running.

I got back to where my family was and sneaked into my sleeping place. Within no time, Thon, Gony, and the goat’s owner arrived. Thon and Gony came to wake me up, and I pretended I was dead asleep. My brothers Chuol and Duany and their SPLA friends heard the commotion and reached for their guns.

DUANY: What is going on here?!

By this time, the goat’s owner, who had brought the half-slaughtered goat with him, was pointing his gun at us.

GOAT OWNER: I will shoot everyone here!

Stephen started shouting, pointing his gun at the goat’s owner.

STEPHEN: This is nonsense. No one can come here and threaten us. If this is the day we die, then let us all die.

This was going to get ugly.

GOAT OWNER: These kids were stealing my goat. They have slaughtered it.

CHUOL: Ger, did you do it? Tell us now. Did you steal the goat?

Before I could reply, the rest of the group was joining Stephen, guns trained at the goat’s owner. I didn’t wait to see what would happen next.

ME: Everyone, please wait a minute. Yes, we slaughtered the man’s goat.

I was trying to save the situation. I told my brothers to hold their horses. I would take responsibility.

CHUOL: What do you mean, you will take responsibility?

ME: I will pay the man.

Everyone thought I was crazy, saying I would settle the matter with the goat’s owner, knowing I didn’t have the means to do so. But they were mistaken. I had the bag of bullets hidden away.

CHUOL: How much do you want from us?

GOAT OWNER: I want another goat. The size of the one they have slaughtered.

ME: I can give you a hundred bullets.

This caught everyone by surprise. We lit a huge bonfire so we could see outside, and I sneaked away to get the bag of bullets from my hiding place. I spread my blanket on the ground and started counting the bullets. No one wanted to eat the goat anymore, so the man took the bullets and the goat.

My actions had just exposed the fact that my family had a lot of guns, so we resolved to leave Makoat. It was no longer safe. An attack on the family, whether by the goat owner or anyone else, was imminent.