Geneva figured the memorial fellowship for Rainn’s family would provide closure regarding Lindsay’s death. She couldn’t fathom herself in the place of Rainn’s mother, suffering through life without Moselle.
Rainn had called two days earlier. “My parents have been located. They dropped everything, even left their fifth-wheel camper. They booked the first flight out of Alaska.”
“How can I help, Rainn?” she asked.
“Thanks, but we have it all covered. You’ll be there, won’t you?”
“You know I will. You’re all in my prayers.”
Eric, Chief Kory, and other firefighters put together the details for a fellowship gathering at the church. Lanae and Geneva had just come from the basement and weren’t seated yet.
Geneva felt his presence the second Rainn entered the church from the side entrance. In the midst of so many others, neighbors and friends, Geneva wanted nothing more than to rush to Rainn’s side.
But she recognized his vulnerability and the willpower it took to hold himself together. She felt his gaze as a touch. That tingly awareness brought an involuntary gasp. The resulting warmth spread through Geneva’s neck and face.
Mia, and the couple in their mid-sixties who had to be his parents, accompanied Rainn. No more time to calm the heat in her face, the Harris family approached.
“Mom, Dad, this is Geneva.”
The warmth of his hand at the small of her back calmed her jitters. She hardly recognized her own body lately. Her physical and emotional reactions to Rainn were as foreign as if they belonged to someone else.
“Geneva, I’d like you to meet my parents, Jay and Adeana.”
“Ah, Mia’s best friend. I’m Jay.” Rainn’s dad had dimples and a cleft in the center of his chin, the handsomest bald man Geneva had ever seen. She caught a glimpse of Rainn in twenty-five years, with all of the character lines deepened and defined by his full smile.
“And I’m Adeana.” Rainn’s mother extended her hand. “Mia talks about you incessantly. Thank you for your friendship toward my son and granddaughter.”
Rainn’s mother had striking dark eyes that appeared black. Her salt-and-pepper hair was pulled into a low tail at her nape.
“You’re so welcome. Mia might consider me her best friend right now. I’m sure her attachment could be transferred if we catch that elusive kitten she’s on a mission to make her own.”
“We heard something about a kitten,” Jay said.
“But the story of you and my son in a tree,” Adeana added, with a searching look and raised brows, “I’d like to hear more about.” Curiosity spiked her tone, sprinkling it with censure. No doubt she wanted to get to the bottom of her son’s involvement with an older woman.
Geneva tried to set the thought aside, along with her crazy romantic radar when it came to Rainn. This day of memory was all about Rainn and his family, not about herself and her relationship with a man who had her all churned up inside.
Get over yourself.
Moselle and Eric approached, arm in arm. “I sure would like to meet this kitten that brought two of my favorite people together,” Eric said.
Geneva fought the renewed heat that flooded her neck. Leave it to Eric to further embarrass me in front of Rainn’s parents.
Eric knew the effect of his teasing. He bobbed his eyebrows at Geneva before punching Rainn in the upper arm.
Amidst more introductions, Moselle asked Rainn for some of Lindsay’s things. “If it’s all right with you, I’d like to put together a memory book for Mia.”
“I think that would be marvelous. I understand you are a trio of enterprising, creative women,” Adeana said to Geneva’s family before Rainn could respond or introduce Lanae.
“We are being seated, so let’s go.” Lanae patted Rainn’s forearm in passing.
They finally entered the sanctuary and proceeded up the aisle. A couple pews ahead, Camille Marolf, Eric’s best friend Marty’s wife, showed off their three-month-old son. He was a handsome mix of her Island heritage and his daddy’s features. Geneva started to move forward to admire the little guy, until she heard a familiar voice whisper her name.
“…Geneva’s involvement. It’s understandable why Rainn came to Mia’s aid. But he can surely find someone more appropriate to spend time with. I mean, she could be the girl’s grandmother!”
Such craziness whizzed through her mind that Geneva actually swiveled, ready to retaliate.
“Ignore Kate Rawlins, Geneva. Sometimes I wish Jesus would chase her away from Faith Bible like He did the moneychangers in the temple,” Beth Phillips said.
An unladylike snort erupted from Geneva’s throat. A half beat later, the same sound of agreement rasped past Lanae’s lips. Geneva patted the hand that touched her arm, and nodded a thank-you to Beth.
Beth and Moselle had been best friends in high school. When Eric and Moselle broke up over an argument, Beth’s own circumstances had overcome Eric’s sense of obligation and he’d married her. Divorced shortly thereafter, it had taken Moselle a little while to forgive both of them. But with God’s help Moselle, Eric, and Beth were friends again. And Moselle and Eric were soon to be married.
Beth’s touch brought confirmation of a life changed. She was a new creature, thanks to her belief in Christ. Geneva had to put the past behind her, just as Moselle and Eric had.
“I’ll sit next to Kate so she can plan on spreading stories about me rather than you,” Beth offered.
The blonde woman before her looked a thousand times better than the last time Geneva had seen Beth. She appeared healthy, like she had purpose in life. Rest, or something, had erased some of the ravages on her features.
Geneva gave Beth a wordless hug and resumed her steps to take a seat next to Lanae.
****
Faith, family, friends—that’s what the Christian life was all about. Rainn scanned the people gathered in the fellowship hall at Faith Bible Church. Friends from the volunteer fire department included Eric’s best buddy Marty Marolf, his wife Camille, and their baby boy.
What a rush that must have been for Eric, delivering that baby before Camille made it to the hospital. Rainn itched to get back at firefighting and the spokes of adventure involved with volunteering in community.
“We’re gathered together today to offer hope and love toward Rainn and Mia Harris in the loss of their sister and mother. I didn’t have the pleasure of meeting Lindsay Harris, but Rainn assures me Lindsay had the hope of salvation. On that note, let’s stand and offer our voices and hearts in worship.” Pastor Rick gave a nod to Rainn’s parents, and the congregation came to their feet.
The short service was just what Rainn needed. No matter the outcome of solving her homicide, he was secure in the Lord’s plans for his future, whatever they may be. Now he scanned the crowd of townspeople as they headed for food and fellowship. Moselle and Eric, Chief Kory Schaffer, Eric’s ex-wife Beth. At the sight of Karin Stevens from Purple Palace, he was reminded that he could turn to her for professional guidance when Mia needed a haircut. Even Kate Rawlins and her circle of gossiping friends had come out.
He headed to where his parents sat with Mia. He read her agitation, wrists scrubbing across her hips, gaze locked in space, turned away from her grandparents.
“I’d give anything to get my hands on the guy who hooked Lindsay on drugs…and the resulting life she had to live to feed her habit,” his father commented to his mother.
Rainn’s hackles rose at the sound of his dad’s voice. They didn’t have a clue how their words could affect the little girl. Jay Harris spoke in that superior I-know-it-all voice that had always grated on Rainn’s nerves.
Too late, Dad. You didn’t care when Lindsay got hooked. Her choice, so don’t blame the dude who sold her the goods.
His parents, and their lack of empathy for the poor relationships Lindsay got caught in, rubbed him wrong. He’d never really felt neglected, but they sure lacked parenting skills.
And grandparenting skills, for talking that way in front of Mia. Did he think Mia didn’t have ears, or feelings?
Why did some people feel the need to wag their tongues at the expense of others?
It was so hard to rein in a hardened, angry response. Rainn clenched his jaw so hard that his molars ached. He turned his back to them when he hunkered down to Mia’s side.
“Mia, honey, hold your arms still, please. And look at me.”
She swung her legs around to face him, before obliging.
“That’s better. Are you finished eating?”
She nodded. He held out his hand. “Let’s go find Geneva or Moselle, shall we?”
“Can I have a coke, Uncle Rainn?”
“No soda pop here, big girl. Let’s find some juice.”
“OK.”
Her calm assurance brought him back to center, and vice versa, he hoped. They were good for one another.
Faith, and family, and friends. God, Mia, Geneva, and the folks in Platteville. He’d rely on the Lord to enable him to overlook the faults of others, even his parents. Life wasn’t perfect. Responsibilities came with being part of the human race. His parents chose theirs, and he’d choose his duties.
“I’ll bet Geneva knows right where we can find that juice.”
“OK, Uncle Rainn.”
Weaving through the group, Rainn cast his mind back. He had wondered, too many times to count over the years, about his own responsibility in Lindsay’s life choices. But it was such a useless waste of energy. Emotionally asking “why” equaled the senselessness of worry. Pointless, to his way of thinking.
So if he trusted God with the little things as well as the big, and believed that all would work out for the good of all involved, he’d be the family man he was meant to be.
Where was Geneva? He scoped out the room and spied her oohing and aahing over Marty and Camille Marolf’s baby. He grasped Mia’s hand and weaved a path in her direction.
So, Father God, is Geneva part of Your plan for my earthly family? You know that having her in my life is a present desire of my heart. If she isn’t meant to be in my life, well, I don’t want to think about accepting that idea. But Mia will do for my family, if that is Your will.
The prayer calmed his soul, but the little boy in him had the sudden urge to pound someone and escape, maybe to a special place for comfort, the way Mia swayed in Geneva’s glider.
“I see her. There’s my Geneva.” Mia let go his hand and lunged. She hugged Geneva around the hips and waved her uncle off.
Instead of running over the people in between, he shot Geneva a thank-you connection and greeted friend and stranger alike on his way back to his parents.
“I don’t see what she could possibly be thinking, carrying on with a man younger than she is.” The spiteful words, close to a whisper, rasped over the hairs on the back of his neck. It took a lot sometimes, but he’d reached his limit.
He’d had enough of the age thing.
And small-town small minds.
“What is Geneva doing?” a different voice chimed in. “Did you see her meet his parents? The way she blushed like a girl? Why, she’s flaunting their relationship like they’re both teenagers.”
That’s it!
“Besides, she’s old enough she could have been his mother as a girl,” yet another voice added.
Not at age thirteen.
Turning to the sources, he forced a smile. Wasn’t that long ago he’d faced Kate Rawlins in Frivolities.
“Excuse me, ladies.” The others he couldn’t name. And they sure weren’t ladies in his estimation. “Thank you for coming this evening. And if you brought any food, I thank you for that.”
Self-control. I know it’s a fruit of the Spirit, and You are the prime example, Lord. But why does it have to come with such difficulty?
His ears buzzed and his chest felt tight, but he wouldn’t back down. “Judging by what I just overheard, Geneva is more my friend than yours.”
He wanted to hit them with more than words, but kept his composure. “Since this gathering is to honor the memory of my sister, in support of my niece and myself, if your words can’t glorify our Lord, you may want to gather somewhere else for the rest of the night.”
Shamefaced, each of the women reminded him of Lindsay as a little girl when she got caught messing with their mother’s makeup and fine jewelry.
He shook his head at the idea of gossip opportunities disguised as concern. In his experience, tolerance was more exhibited in populated areas. But on the other side of the coin, neighbors didn’t know one another, even from across the hall. If there was trouble in small communities, even strangers came to the aid of needy souls.
Following his thought, a woman he couldn’t name, mumbled, “You’re right, Mr. Harris. Please accept our apology.”
Like all areas of life, living where a person chose had its good and bad points.
All that to justify his actions, but no one would drag the people he loved through muddy gossip. His mind hiccupped at that thought. Love?
Of course, he loved Geneva. And he was willing to make a life change, to be near her. The Lord would guide him, even if he had to give up restoring church windows and include a commute to Lincoln or Omaha for a nine-to-five.
He’d do whatever it took. For now, he nodded in acceptance.
****
Moselle, Lanae, and Geneva worked together in the church kitchen, cleaning up refreshments following the service for Lindsay. Geneva had sent the serving crew home after thanking those who represented women’s ministries at Faith Bible.
“So, how was it, meeting Rainn’s parents, Mom?”
Before answering, Geneva leaned over the counter to get a better look at Mia. She hunkered down in a corner between the cupboard and wall, engaged in a new electronic game her grandparents had given her. Geneva didn’t blame Mia one bit for escaping the milieu.
Soon after Rainn had sought Geneva out, the women made their way for the kitchen, Mia in tow. Now, Geneva observed Mia more closely. Her creased forehead revealed her concentration. Beeps, blips, buzzes, followed by a girlish smile, and a couple giggles that cleared her face of its frown.
Technology. Could it really be the way to a little girl’s heart?
“I was so embarrassed when Eric made that comment about the kitten bringing us together.” Geneva finally answered Moselle.
“Well, that’s about as useless as an apple core!” Lanae burst out.
“What?” Moselle and Geneva chorused.
“This scraper on a dried casserole dish.”
“I’ll give it some muscle.” Moselle slithered behind Geneva, the move familiar in the way of kitchen-working women, and shoved Lanae with a nudge to the hip. “Anything else, Mom?”
“Whenever Rainn is around, I have the strangest sensation, before I even see him. It’s like my soul yearns to answer the call to his soul. I don’t quite know how to explain it.” Her face heated. “And I didn’t want his folks to catch on.”
“Mom, that’s the way it has always been between Eric and me.” Moselle gave the pot some elbow grease. “I could never consider another man besides Eric, even if some guy gave me the come-on. There wasn’t that chemistry, or whatever it’s called, between us.”
“What in the world do you call that anyway?” Lanae wondered. “Pheromones or something?”
“I believe it is God’s design for those couples who are meant to be together,” Moselle responded with a puff of air.
“There’s a pull, a longing to be one with Rainn. But I’m not convinced we’re meant for one another because—”
“Don’t say it,” Moselle and Lanae said in unison.
“Mom, get real here. It’s not a sin, like there’s a commandment that says a man and woman should fit a particular mold in order to plan forever.”
“It’s not a sin to look a guy over.” Lanae dried and rattled flatware into its drawer. “I’d be dead if I didn’t notice all these firefighters and the fine condition they’re in. I know it’s a sin to actually lust, but I think what I’m doing is appreciating…”
Lord, I admit that I’m lusting. Can I call it desire if Rainn is meant to be mine and we are to become one flesh?
“My turn. I think it’s more than physical on Rainn’s part. I see him treat you with respect, and sometimes awe. I think you bring the best out in each other, which happens if you’re supposed to end up together. Eric and I feel that way about one another.”
“I’d call that love,” Lanae added with a dreamy sigh.
Geneva chose not to comment on that point. “With Bret I was always disappointed if I felt the tiniest spark of passion because it would fizzle out before he could say ‘good night.’” She felt all whispery inside, but she continued to express her feelings. “With Rainn, my whole body sizzles like the steam nozzle on my espresso machine. All I have to do is picture him or imagine his voice, and I get all squishy and warm.”
“Waaay too much information,” Lanae said.
“Tough. I’m going to say it. And, sorry Lord, for talking this way in the church building.” All revved up, Geneva took the plunge, making sure no one was close to the pass-through window. She was on a roll, but she still lowered her voice. “I never experienced true intimacy with Bret. You know, that two-become-one biblical description. There was always a void. What if God’s plan for my life is to be with Rainn? Then again, what if it’s supposed to be really passionate? Can I plug into that passion at my age, or did I miss the boat by not having that fulfillment as a young woman? I always wondered if there was something wrong with me, since my husband didn’t turn me on.”
Lanae went to Geneva’s side and gave her a quick hug. “To me, aging equals freedom. What I’m saying is, you should be free to love and react to Rainn. Don’t give a fig about what others say or think, like me.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. I’ll have to think about that freedom thing. I get confused and feel like I have no social skills at all when I see Rainn around other people. I’m afraid anyone else can sense the sparks that travel through me at the mere sound of his voice.”
Moselle folded a wet dishtowel over the rod. “The Bible says a woman’s desire should be for her husband. So if you’re right with the Lord and believe it’s His will for you to be with Rainn, well, there you go.”
Lanae fanned her hand in the air as though dismissing a pesky fly. “Just forget what people say, will ya? Kate Rawlins is so bitter over who-knows-what, that she justifies some past loss by pointing her tongue at others. Let the Lord deal with her. And as for you and how to act around your man, just go for it with all you’ve got, sister. All the gusto and va-va-va-voom you can muster up.”
So many thoughts zinged through Geneva’s mind, she wanted to get out in the fresh air and clear them away. Currently, her pursuit for the rest of her life lay in the role of entrepreneur. But what was God’s path for her?
If she chose Rainn, she’d have to take his niece as well. And raise another daughter.
Mia stumbled over a mess of cardboard boxes and casserole carriers. It wasn’t noisy, so Mia had no cause to raise an alarm.
Geneva waved her arms in exaggerated motions and expressed a lot of drama with her body. Then she stood tall and enunciated each word louder than the previous. “Crash! Boom! Bang! Shish kebab!”
Mia froze in place, bug-eyed.
“Oh, Mom, I totally forgot those lines. How many years has it been since you used that expression?” Moselle laughed so hard, she collapsed against the counter.
Lanae looked at Geneva as though she had just landed from outer space. “I’ve heard everything, now. You’ve flipped your lid, sis.”
They all went into hilarious laughter when a detached plastic lid rolled across the kitchen floor.
The idea of raising another child, a special-needs girl, found a corner to plant itself in Geneva’s heart and mind, just as the lid plopped to a rest. She crossed to Mia’s side and held out her arms. The girl needed to know she was loved, and no one was laughing at her.
If it’s meant to be, Lord, I’m done protesting.